Disclaimer: If I owned FFIX, I'd be a happy, happy person. But I don't. But I'm still pretty happy.
Eidolon Wall
By Raine Ishida
The final battle was at dawn. Or something like that. They were getting up and going to the Iifa Tree in the morning.
They'd made an agreement as a party to visit Madain Sari to stock up on items and to rest before attempting to fight Kuja for the final time. Funny thing about resting before a big event is that it never comes, no matter how tired your body may be.
In fact, as they slept in the room of four, Zidane, Dagger, Steiner and Vivi, Vivi was probably the only one asleep, his soft snores sounding gently over the cool breeze of the night.
Steiner lay with his back to the rest of them, awake, blinking, worrying. About Dagger, about Beatrix, about everything. Was his armour sufficient? Would they be okay? Would Kuja completely destroy them? How would they eradicate Gaia of the Mist?
Dagger lay blinking, staring at the wall next to her bed. She kept her trembling down to a minimum, as she was certain if she trembled any harder, her bed would start shaking. She knew Zidane was only a bed away, and that gave her comfort. She also knew he was awake: his tail was twitching anxiously.
Five minutes passed and she heard his bed creak, and he was at her side, shaking her shoulder gently. "Dagger," he whispered. "I know you're awake."
She turned to him, her eyebrows furrowed. "Are you alright?"
He shrugged. "More or less. Want to go for a walk?"
She looked up at him for another moment until he offered her his hand. "Come on."
She nodded and took his hand, getting off of her bed as quietly as possible.
"You don't think Steiner would mind-" she whispered.
Zidane shrugged. "Rusty probably has enough to worry about. We're just going for a walk, anyway."
She nodded, reassured as they slipped out of the room into the night.
Steiner drew in a shuddering breath. Should he follow them? No. Her Majesty would be angry if she found out. Besides. She was a grown woman who could take care of herself, and Zidane had proven to be a reasonably honourable young man, all things considered. If they weren't back in twenty minutes, then he'd get up and go look for them.
…
They ended up at the Eidolon Wall. Zidane sat on a stone and watched Dagger while she walked around, pointing to each eidolon, explaining who they were and what they did. Zidane noticed that if she had that particular eidolon she pointed to, she held her hand over the image a bit longer, in tenderness.
"I've seen them in action, and it's pretty cool, but what's it like to know they're inside you?" he asked, leaning back on the stone. She frowned, thinking.
"It's like having a blanket of security around you at all times. When Mother…" She paused and bit her lip, but Zidane didn't press her to continue. She did anyway. "When Mother had them taken from me, you know I told you it was like something was missing. Now I have them back and I feel whole again. Secure. Safe. Like I do whenever I'm with you," she admitted, blushing deeply. Zidane smiled.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yes," she replied, her blush growing deeper. "But I don't want to expand on that, please."
Zidane just smiled some more and shook his head. "At least I know I'm doing my job right. I said I'd look out for you, didn't I?"
"You always have," she said softly, meeting his eyes with a shy smile.
"I always will," he replied just as softly, standing and walking towards her until he was next to her. She looked up at the wall and he noticed her trembling slightly.
"I'm scared."
Her whisper came to him over the breeze, and he frowned, looking down at her. Zidane took a breath and put an arm around her shoulders. "You'll be fine." He paused. "We'll be fine. We've been training for ages; Kuja should be a snap, right?"
Dagger sighed and glanced up at him, not shying away from his arm, but not entirely relaxed against his body, either.
"Zidane," she murmured softly. "I…don't want anything bad to happen. We've all come so far for this moment, and it could all end…so quickly."
Zidane frowned and turned her gently by her shoulders to face him. "Don't say that, Dagger."
"I'm sorry, I know I'm a bit of a downer sometimes…"
Zidane could have stopped himself, but he barely had any time to as he watched his hand brush her hair from her face.
She didn't shy away this time. She didn't flinch. Not as he stepped closer, barely, as she inched closer and closer to the wall, until she was leaning against it, the stone cool against her back.
His arm was on the wall, bent at the elbow, because if it wasn't bent, it would make him that much further away from her. He couldn't deny that he'd always thought her beautiful, but having her stand there, leaning against the wall, looking up at him, made his knees weak. The arm on the wall was holding him up. He'd never admit it. Maybe. But not now.
Could he tell her how he felt, honestly? Not right now. He'd probably trip over his tongue in trying to get the words out eloquently.
Maybe telling her wasn't going to cut it. He'd told her lots of things, and he was sure she was aware of how he felt for her. But girls were fickle too, weren't they? Not as fickle as men. Men had fickle hearts and needed to be told or shown to comprehend anything.
They stood in silence, watching each other, in each others' proximity, breathing, gaining warmth from each other. Then he kissed her.
Softly, at first, when he had used the hand not against the wall to tip her chin up just a bit more, so she was that much closer. It was just a light brush against her lips, but she'd responded. Her hands were lightly resting on his chest, her eyes had slipped closed. In just a moment!
"Sorry," he whispered as her eyes fluttered open. "I couldn't help it."
She blushed and smiled faintly. "It's alright…"
He hesitated, lowering his head to rest his forehead against hers. "…Would it be alright if…"
"Zidane, are you asking my permission to kiss me again?"
"You're kinda the Queen, shouldn't I?"
"You've never asked my permission for anything," she said softly. He watched her lashes brush her cheeks and smiled to himself. She was right. Never before had he asked her permission regarding anything.
"That's true, I guess I never have." Taking initiative, he kissed her again, though not as soft. She seemed to be alright with it. She kissed with the sweet and naïve inexperience of one who had never kissed someone, and he didn't mind. In fact, in his arrogance, he might have noted that his experience made up for both of them. But he wouldn't say that out loud. She'd probably hit him.
He paused in between kisses to give her time to collect her thoughts, her breath, to hit him, to tell him to stop, anything. She didn't hit him. She didn't tell him to stop. Her fingers held tightly to the fabric of his clothes, presumably to stop them from trembling. As soon as he paused for too long, her tremors began.
"Dagger," he whispered, closing the gap between them. Using the hand that had been touching her cheek lightly, he wrapped it around her waist to pull her tightly against him. He was excited, he wouldn't lie; he could apologize for it later. He'd wanted her from the beginning and here he was, almost sacrilegiously, in her peoples' holy place, kissing the Queen of Alexandria. He was the king of the freaking world.
"Don't be scared. I'll be with you, right?" he asked, smiling gently. She nodded, loosening her grip on his vest and trailing her hands down, wrapping around his waist.
"I know."
"You're driving me crazy," he added with a half-smirk. His tail was twitching anxiously behind him.
She smiled. "I know."
"Sorry." He didn't address the issue, but she ignored it, hoping he wouldn't talk about it or try to explain. She got it. She had read enough books.
Dagger blushed. "…I know."
"Y'know-"
"Zidane?" Her brown eyes sparkled.
"Yeah?"
"Just shut up, okay?"
He frowned, startled. "What?"
"You talk too much."
A light bulb seemed to go off in his brain. "Oh."
She smiled as he leaned forward to kiss her again.
From the entry way to the Eidolon Wall, Freya sighed. Steiner had sent her to see if they were alright, and she would report that everything was normal.
Her heart ached. Zidane, once again, got everything that he wanted, even on the possible eve of his death.
Technically, she could storm in there and argue that he was committing an act of indecency on Royalty, but…she knew neither of them would be happy with that. They were just kids. Sixteen.
Freya knew Zidane. She knew his type, she knew what he was like…but he'd been mainly chivalrous towards Dagger from the beginning. Sure, a few off-color jokes had occurred, but without them, he wouldn't have been Zidane.
Freya glanced back and almost tore her heart out at the sight of them, standing there together, leaning against the Eidolon Wall, pausing for a moment to smile at each other before kissing again.
It broke her heart.
Where was Fratley?
And when would she get her happily ever after? She didn't have a good luck kiss to wish her the best for the final battle. How would she get by? The same way she had for so long since he'd gone. She was a Dragon Knight. She'd do the best she could.
Glancing back one last time, she started walking back to where everyone was hopefully asleep by now. She knew Dagger and Zidane wouldn't get themselves into any trouble, not out in the open like that. She knew Zidane wouldn't mind, but Dagger would. In fact, by now, she would probably start to mind the entire situation. Freya would let her deal with it, and kept walking.
"Dagger," Zidane murmured, his eyes closed, heavy with many emotions, primarily drunken with lust, his breath warm on Dagger's lips.
"Mm?" she murmured in return, her cheeks flushed. Zidane's hands had remained on her waist and had not roamed further down, thankfully. She expected them to, but was surprised when they didn't. Perhaps he was beginning to change his lecherous ways. He'd still tried some funny business when they'd first set off, in Dali, but she'd let that go by now.
"I…have to tell you something."
"What is it?" she asked, brushing loose pieces of his blond hair back. Her touch sent shivers over his skin and he shuddered.
"You should know, just in case something happens tomorrow, that…I love you. I always have, I think. But…yeah. I don't-"
"Zidane," Dagger interrupted, frowning.
"What?" he asked, alarmed.
She placed her hands gently on his shoulders. "I think…you have given me the courage to see this through to the end. I have a good feeling about tomorrow. Don't turn into me and put a damper on things, alright?"
Zidane studied her face for a long time before sighing. He'd never said the words before, to anyone. Now he had, and she was dismissing him. Subtle dismissal, perhaps? He hoped not.
He nodded. She pulled his face closer and kissed his forehead lightly. "Eiko asked me…when she and I were leaving the Water Shrine, if I loved you."
Zidane frowned. "…She did?"
"Yeah. I wasn't expecting the question, so it startled me. I've…been thinking about it ever since then. She knows how I feel already, but I'm not even sure I do." Dagger's gaze was not on his face, but on the tie at his neck. It didn't stare back at her with as much intensity as Zidane's eyes did.
Zidane sighed. "Oh…"
"No, no, stop reacting before I finish what I'm saying!" she argued, putting her hands on her hips. He took her cue and backed up, dropping his hands to his sides.
He smiled faintly and shook his head, urging her to continue. "Fine, then. Go on."
"Thing is, I feel like I've been living under a rock until I met you. You've taught me so much; I wouldn't know half the things I know now if I hadn't met you. You've changed my life for the better, Zidane." She touched his face lightly, smiling. "I'd be a fool to let you go."
He frowned. "I feel like I'm being set up for a huge disappointment."
"Why?"
"Women do that. They tell you all the good things you've done and how you're an awesome guy, then they dump you. It's like 'this is why you're awesome, but we can't be together. You're too good for me,' kinda thing. It's really disheartening."
"That's not what I'm doing, Zidane. Would you listen?"
He sighed and nodded.
"I hope we make it through tomorrow, because I don't want to ever be without you," she confessed softly, a new blush lighting her cheeks. "Because…I think I love you too."
His frown dissipated immediately and his eyebrows shot up. "What?"
"I believe you heard me, Zidane."
"Do you?" he breathed, putting his hands on her waist again, drawing her back to him. She smiled faintly.
"How could I not? You're such a hard-headed, determined jerk sometimes, but you see the good in people; you help people who don't deserve it, you show mercy where it isn't due. You're much more human than any other person I've ever met. I wish I'd known you earlier so we could have stopped all this nonsense that happened. Maybe…things would have been different." She drew her arms up around his neck and sighed. "But…we can never know what might have happened. All that matters is right now, right?"
He shook his head, incredulous. He could hardly believe what she was saying. She loved him. That's all he'd heard. He may as well sprout wings and fly away right now.
Instead, he did the only thing that came to mind that made any sense at all: he kissed her.
…