Okay, this is the version I did for the ydml list. Its not perfect yet and its part one only, and if you don't know the names of the characters in japan, it doesnt work so good. i had to make them all japanese names cos I was using the japanese names for the 02 digidestined. sorry!
DO I LOOK LIKE I OWN DIGIMON OR AM PROFITING FROM THIS? Don't sue me please. It would be lame.
Um, I live at http://smooth.as/yamato and [email protected] for comments. No flames tho please. i find it pathetic that people waste their time on them.
SORRY ABOUT MATT! I just was having a funny fit over making him a bimbo.
Clare
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TOUCH THE WORMMON
=================
THE ISHIDA FAMILY RESIDENCE
TAKERU: Helllloooo! Anybody home? I'm here on whatever visitation rights our f***ed up family unit allows Mr.Ishida. Hey Yamato! I can't remember: are we brothers or half brothers this week?
YAMATO: I'm pretty!
TAKERU: Uh, O-kay. Well, what I wanted to tell you was, I sortof have a new after school activity.
YAMATO: I'm pretty! Lots of fangirls like me! They build webshrines to me!
TAKERU: Whatever. Anyhow. I'm kind of a digidestined. Again. And, uh, youre not.
YAMATO: I play in a band and I slick my hair back. Girls like that. They throw their panties at me because I'm so pretty. I like that too. Because I can give the panties to Taichi
TAKERU: So, theres five of us, saving the world and hang onwhy are you giving Taichi schoolgirls panties?
YAMATO: Um? Clothing drive? Taichi says I'm a bish-ou-nen! That's a long word!
TAKERU: Well, anyway, I have to pick up the ole batpig and swing by the digiworld again. So I can't come with you to see the rocky horror show this evening. Take Taichi instead.
YAMATO: Schweeet!
TAKERU: Anyway, got to be off, Daisuke is waiting.
YAMATO: Daisuke? Yama no like Daisuke. Daisuke Taichiwannabe steals Taichi's panties. That funny. Because Daisukes sister the one that threw them at Yamato in first place.
TAKERU: O-kay. Well, I'll tell Gabumon you said hello.
YAMATO: Gabumon! Horn! Good!
TAKERU leaves. TAICHI crawls out naked from behind a sofa.
TAICHI: think he suspects?
YAMATO: Nope. Takeru not suspect. Takeru stoopid.
TAI: Youre so pretty, you know that?
YAMATO: Yamato Pretty!
TAICHI: Now come to bed, my little love-gabumon!
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THE COMPUTER ROOM MEETING PLACE THINGY.
Daisuke: So, Were all here. Takeru, Hikari, Miyako, Iori..heeeyyy..how you doin' Iori?
IORI: ::gulp::
DAISUKE: (perching on the side of Iori's chair) Like the hair! Like it babe! (slaps Iori on the butt)
IORI: eeeee!
DAISUKE: But enough fun and games. We have to go to the digiworld andstuff.
TAKERU: Like what?
DAISUKE: Takaishi Takeru isnt it? My my,havnt you grown.whos a big boy now then? Hows your uh, big brother?
TAKERU: UhYamato's pretty.
DAISUKE: Of course, of course. Now, have you all brought your digimon? My god! Some of them are uglier than last season! Oh well, lets all remember lillymon and hope they digivolve into something half decent. just jump through this computer screen and we'll be in the digiworld.
::SMASH::
DAISUKE: Not that one Takeru! You do take after your brother you knowfollow me people! I'll lead you a- oh! Just a minute! Damn lace panties giving me a wedgie.
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THE DIGIWORLD
THE DIGIMON KAIZER, HEREBY KNOWN AS , IS SAT WATCHING PROCEEDINGS.
KEN: Fools! They have walked right into my trap.Or they would haveIf I had one..Note to self: lay trap next time.
WORMMON: Worm! Worm!
KEN: Youre not a pokemon, damn you!
WORMMON: sorry! Clares been writing shishi fics before this.I luv you! Wormmon loves Kaizer! Ken pretty!
KEN: Prettier thanYamato?
WORMMON: OOOH! YAMATO PRETTY! No.
KEN: DAMN HIM! I'M THE PRETTIEST! THE FANGIRLS WANT ME! I shall have my revenge by CORRUPTING HIS YOUNGEST SISTER!
WORMMON: Yamato only has a little brother!
KEN: Even better.Without the gilligan hat, Takeru is one hot pice of digi-ass! BWAHAHAHA!
WORMMON: Wahhh! I thought we were going to take over the world?
KEN: Not now pookie. Daddy has important buisness to do.
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TAKERU: and THEN angemon got out his huge rod and swung it around! An' it was glowing and devimon just couldn't resist it
DAISUKE: I'll bet.
TAKERU: Angemon was so cool! I miss having a digimon that can actually do some damage.
PATAMON: OI! Right! That does it! No more pig evoloutions for me! I! WILL! DIGIVOOOOLVE !!!! ::turns into a horsepig::
HORUSMON: Sod. Still a farmyard animal.
TAKERU: (not noticing) An' I wanted to crotch angemon. Angemon was a lot easier to crotch than batpig.
HORUSMON: That's horsepig to you now. Screw this, I'm becoming a tokomon again.
DAISUKE: uh, crotch?
TAKERU: Sure. When I got scared and lonely in the first seaso- I mean, when me and the first digidestined went to the digiworld, I would sort of rub my head in my friends crotches and I'd feel all safe and better.
DAISUKE: Andwho did you do this to?
TAKERU: Uh Yamato, Taichi, Jyou.Maybe Koushiro on one occasionall the boys.
DAISUKE: Takeruever thought you may be..gay?
TAKERU: Wha? Whyd you think that?
DAISUKE: Just a thought.
TAKERU: I'm not gay! Everyone knows I'm destined to fall in love with Hikari!
HIKARI: What the fu.? Dude, I was just hoping you'd give me your brothers number. Hes pretty! Then again, if I went after him, my brother may get jealous.
TAKERU: Why?
HIKARI: Uh. Takeru. Yamato is Taichis boyfriend.
TAKERU: I know theyre friends!
HIKARI: Noooo. Boy. Friend. Theyre gay. Homosexual. Yaoi. All that. I just really hope Yamato's bi. ::sigh:: hes so pretty! Didn't you notice them all over each other last time we were here?
TAKERU: But Sora said..
HIKARI: Huh, Sora's a lying cow. We all know she was getting' it on with Biyomon when Mimi wasn't letting her get any.
TAEKERU: Zuuhhhh?
HIKARI: And Jyou and Koushiro. Well! At it like rabbits! Its always the wuiet ones!
TAKERU: Waaaaaaa????
A sudden FLASH OF LIGHT
KEN: HI! I AM THE DIGIMON KAIZER! AND NOW TAKERU.. YOU WILL TOUCH MY WORMMON!
WORMMON: Touch!
DAISUKE: Ahhhh! He's hot! Hotter than Taichi! Can I trade in my goggles for some of those sunglasses please? I meanDIGIDESTINED! RUN!
KEN grabs hold of TAKERU.
KEN: Not you.I shall take you back to my hidden fortress, and there..YOU SHALL TOUCH MY WORMMON!
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To be continued.....
TOUCH THE WORMMON
Pt2: Yaoi for all!
IN THE DIGIWORLD:
DAISUKE: Hey! That was a close shave! Thank god we all escaped with our asses intact! Well, apart from Takeru! Eh, Iori?
DAISUKE smacks IORI on the butt.
IORI: Gneeeeeee!
MIYAKO: Should we, uh, leave you two alone?
IORI: NO!
MIYAKO: It's no problem. Hikari and I can entertain ourselves.
HIKARI: Yeah, I never get to do any yuri stuff in fanfics and its about time I did...oh! yeah! We can entertain ourselves. Talk about shopping and all that. That sort of entertain. Yeah.
Suddenly, a HOLOGRAPHIC KEN appears from a nearby convieniantly placed digital thing.
KEN: GREETINGS! I have decided that not only must Takeru touch my wormmon, but Daisuke will too! I AM THE DIGIMON KAIZER, DAMMNIT! YOU! WILL! ALL! TOUCH! MY! WORMMON! You have five hours to get to my secret fortress or I am using THESE :: randishes evil looking containers:: on Takeru. I've used them on many many boys and NONE HAVE SURVIVED MY ATTENTIONS! Goodbye!
MIYAKO: Guess we'd better go then. That was some nasty looking whipped cream he had there.
IORI: The hot fudge terrified me. Uh, by the way, please don't slap my butt, daisuke. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
DAISUKE: No, he's too aggressive. I don't like the dominant sort. I don't want to touch his wormmon now. Besides, we don't know where the fortress is. Do we, Iori!
DAISUKE smacks IORI'S butt
IORI: I asked you nicely not to do that!
HOLOGRAPHIC KEN reappears.
KEN: Damn! Forgot to say: My fortress is a left turn about 200 metres from the forest of irrelevant roadsigns. That is all. I AM PRETTIER THAN YAMATO DAMNIT! YOU WILL ALL TOUCH MY WORMMON!
DAISUKE: Well, we'd better get going then.HEY! Whys Iori standing behind me hiding his butt? COME OUT AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!
IORI sighs.
SMACK!
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IN THE KAIZERS FORTRESS
KEN has TAKERU strung up by the wrists over a vat.
TAKERU: Look, is all this bondage gear utterly nesscercery?
KEN: Oh, yes! Yes! We'll shall show Yamato whos the pretteiest, won't we Wormmon?!
TAKERU: Whats my brother got to do withnevermind. What kind of a name is Ken, anyway, for a kaizer?
KEN: A very good one! Now, touch my wormmon or I lower you into the vat!
TAKERU: It's a vat of whipped cream! Its not even hot!
KEN: You can make it hot, Takeru, rrrawor!
TAKERU: Errrr Why are you holding a tub of glace cherries?
KEN: Theyre for if you don't co operate! Can't have whipped cream without a cherry on top!
TAKERU: But I'd be in the cream! And I havnt had a bath for days! How sanitary is that?
KEN: Sanitary no, Turn on, yes. Hav'nt you bathed Takeru? Dirty boy! DIRTY DIRTY BOY TAKERU! Kaizer must punish you.. and the punishment is. YOU WILL TOUCH MY WORMMON!
TAKERU: No.
KEN: Oh please.
TAKERU: No.
KEN: Just a little pat.
TAKERU: No.
KEN: On the head.
TAKERU: No.
KEN: It likes you! See how it likes you!
WORMMON: Takeru pretty! Takeru touch wormmon!
TAKERU: NO! LET ME GO!
KEN: DAMN YOU BOY! YOU WILL TOUCH MY WORMMON! TOUCH IT! TOUCH IT! DAMN YOU BITCH! I AM THE DIGIMON KAIZER AND YOU WILL TOUCH MY WORMMON! I WILL BREAK YOU!
TAKERU: No! I am pure and innocent! I shall not touch your wormmon!
KEN: Okay. You asked for it. Wormmon? Get the-
WORMMON: No Ken! Not that!
KEN: Yes Wormmon. Get the maple syrup and the icing cake decoration letters!
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To be continued. Again!
TOUCH THE WORMMON
Pt 3: Wormmon pretty!
THE ISHIDA FAMILY RESIDENCE
YAMATO and TAICHI are in bed.
TAICHI: SHAKE IT!
YAMATO: AM!
TAICHI: FASTER!
YAMATO: CAN'T!
TAICHI: HARDER!
YAMATO: CAN'T!
A frantic beeping stops. They both peer at a small plastic digivice toy.
TAICHI: Rats, Greymon still won't digivolve to ultimate.
YAMATO: Was shaking it as hard as I could.
TAICHI: Now devimon has kicked my ass.
YAMATO: 'm sorry.
TAICHI: Oh yama, it doesn't matter, youre so pretty!
YAMATO: Yama pretty!
TAICHI: Oh well, lets just screw again.
YAMATO's bottom lip quivers.
YAMATO: Can't. Yama have no hairgel left. Not feel pretty enough for love-gabumon Taichi.
TAICHI: Wha? Oh but I have the horn! Okay, howsabout we go to the 7-11 and get you some?
YAMATO: Only like hairgel from the digiworld.
TAICHI: Allright, I suppose we can create a massive gap in the continuity of this story and go there. We can check in on Takeru while we're there.
YAMATO wrinkles his forehead.
YAMATO: Takeru in digiworld?
TAICHI: Youre so pretty, you know that?
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KAIZER'S FORTRESS
KEN has TAKERU covered in maple syrup, with little icing letters all over him.
TAKERU: This is getting silly.
KEN: QUIET BOY! Now. Touch my wormmon or I SHALL EAT THE LETTERS OFF YOU IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER!
TAKERU: But I'm not gay!
KEN: We can fix that! A!
KEN eats the letter A off Takeru with a great deal of licking.
TAKERU: ARGH!!!! Innocence.. purity
KEN: And now, will you touch my Wormmon?
TAKERU: No! Never!
KEN: I like the feisty ones! B!
KEN eats the letter B off Takeru with a great deal of licking.
TAKERU: Hold on! Arent we Japanese? Why are you eating the English alphabet off me?
KEN: Uhhh.It's kinkier like that! C!
KEN eats the letter C off Takeru with a great deal of licking.
TAKERU: MERCY! MERCY! WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME?
DAISUKE and the others burst in.
DAISUKE: Damn you ken! I'm the leader of the digidestined! I'm the one that gets to corrupt them! Eh, Iori?
DAISUKE buttsmacks IORI.
IORI: Waaaahhhh!
TAKERU: Thank god! He was just about to -
DAISUKE: Oooh! Icing letters!
DAISUKE licks D, E and F from Takeru.
TAKERU: I'm doomed.
KEN: TAKERU IS MY BITCH! MINE! NOT YOURS! WE DO NOT LICK THE KAIZER'S TAKERU!
DAISUKE pushes IORI into the whipped cream.
DAISUKE: Yeeeeah! .. Uh, whats that you said Ken?
KEN: RIGHT! YOU! DAISUKE! YOU WILL TOUCH MY WORMMON!
DAISUKE shakes his head.
KEN: -No? Damn. IORI! YOU WILL TOUCH MY WOR-
IORI shakes his head so hard it nearly falls off.
KEN: - No? Bugger. MIYAKO! Y-
MIYAKO makes a face and shakes her head.
KEN:- No? NO???? DID I ASK YOU TO TOUCH MY WORMMON? NO! I DON'T WANT YOU TO TOUCH MY WORMMON ANYWAY! WORMMON DOESN'T LIKE YOU! GO AWAY AND SCREW HIKARI OR SOMETHING!
MIYAKO: Well, that's the first sensible thing someones said all day. Lets go Hikari!
IORI: Please, don't leave me alone with these guys!
HIKARI: Sorry, got the horn!
MIYAKO and HIKARI leave, taking the cherries with them.
KEN: Oh Takeru, why won't you touch my wormmon?
TAKERU: I. Just. Don't. Want. To!
KEN: Does my Wormmon displease you?
TAKERU: uh, its not that.
KEN: Its too small, isnt it?
TAKERU: no, no, its not you, its me.
KEN: I knew it! Its too small. I must punish my wormmon!
WORMMON: Noo! No Ken! Wormmon love Ken!
KEN: I'm sorry butTakeru won't have ken. Ken is frustrated! Ken must spank his Wormmon!
The door suddenly opens. YAMATO and TAICHI enter.
YAMATO: Yama pretty! Need hairgel so can screw Taichi love-gabumon! Uhsell hairgel here?
YAMATO frowns at daisuke.
YAMATO: You steal Taichi's panties!
DAISUKE: Uh, sorry?
YAMATO: No matter. They ones your skanky sister throw at me anyway.
KEN: HAH! Daisuke is wearing his sisters panties!
DAISUKE: Eh, that's too kinky for even me! Damn Jun. Uh, hey Taichi. How YOU doin'?
TAICHI: Oh god, its my stalker. Hang on, isnt that yama-love-gabumon-chan's lil' brother Takeru kinkily strung up and coated in various sweet lickable foodstuffs over there? And isnt that my baby sister screwing Miyako in the corner over there? YOU GO GIRL!!!
YAMATO: Hah! Yama find hairgel. NOW Yama pretty!
KEN: NOOOO! Yamatos prettinessdisrupting whole fabric of reality fortress..
ALL: RUN!!!!!!!!
YAMATO: Buh?
TAICHI Grabs him and legs it.
DAISUKE cuts TAKERU down, stares wistfully at the whipped cream, and runs too.
They all get out as the fortress collapses.
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THE DIGIDESTINED.
DAISUKE: Well, it looks like the kaizer didn't make it. Damn shame. Waste of a perfectly good pair of pert buttocks! Even if he was too dominant for my tastes.
TAICHI: Well, our job here is done. We have hairgel. Yama feels pretty again. We're going to go home and f*ck like tokomons on heat.
YAMATO: Yama pretty! Taichi his little love-gabumon!
TAKERU: I'm starting to believe my brother may have homosexual tendancies.
HIKARI: (still locked in a passionate embrace with MIYAKO) The fortress blew up? I thought it was just the earth moving. Mmmph
IORI: Well, at least I have the only non-yaoi/yuri person in this story back.
TAKERU: yep! That's right
IORI: What?
TAKERU: I'm still covered in syrup. I don't suppose you couldlick me off?
IORI: Damn!
----
IN THE RUBBLE OF THE FORTRESS..
KEN: Well, I failed. I didn't manage to make Takeru my love slave and Yamato is still the prettiest thing anyones ever seen. At least I still have my Wormmon though
WORMMON: Ken not be sad! Ken have Wormmon always!
KEN: Thankyou Wormmonlove you.
WORMMON: Wormmon feel kinda funny. Wormmon feel like..digivolving!
:::flash of light::::
WORMMON DIGIVOLVED TO GIJINKA WORMMON!
GIJINKA WORMMON: Wormmon feel Pretty!
KEN: Oh Wormmon! YOU'RE the prettiest thing I've ever seen!
GIJINKA WORMMON: Prettier than..Yamato?
KEN: Oh yes! Much prettier! May Itouch you, Wormmon?
GIJINKA WORMMON: Of course ken can touch his wormmon! Its good to have Ken touching!
KEN: You know wormmon, I think we're going to be very happy together.
KEN and GIJINKA WORMMON leave to f*ck like rabbits.
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tha end.