Author's note: So, as thanks to everyone who has faithfully read, reviewed, and enjoyed this, I give you a book of fluff and smut and scantily clad Cullen boys. Bon apetite!

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"Are you ready?"

"Hell yes!" Bella jumped into Alice's car. Edward had been a bit miffed that he'd not been allowed to come pick Bella up, but Alice won that fight by pointing out that he needed to get dressed and ready. Rosalie and Esme were in town supposedly checking out carpet samples for Rose and Emmett's room, and the blonde had the instructions to stall until everything was set up.

"So, the guys are making themselves all hot and sexy?" Bella asked. The pixie in the driver seat just smiled widely.

"Buckle up!" she said, waiting for the click of the seat belt to slam her foot on the gas pedal, leaving nothing but a cloud of dust and some furiously dizzy leaves spinning in the wake of the car.

"Have they seen their outfits yet?" Bella asked, grinning.

"Nope. Though they will in about ten seconds. Makes me wish I were there to see the look on their faces."

~Bella, if you had a hand in this, so help me I am turning you over my knee and beating your ass until you can't sit.~ Bella laughed out loud, causing Alice to raise an eyebrow at her.

~Promises, promises,~ she replied cheekily before answering her friend's unspoken question.

"They saw their clothing," she said simply. Alice giggled.

"So you like being able to talk to Carlisle mentally, don't you?" Bella nodded.

"It's really nice, having at least one person I can communicate with like that. I was beginning to feel like a bit of a freak, always being a bit left out whenever Edward would say something to you all and I couldn't hear it. And before you say anything, I know he would never mean for me to feel like that. Which is why I never said anything - and don't plan to in the near future either. He feels bad enough about things that aren't his fault as it is."

"I understand. I won't mention it." There was a long, companionable silence, then Alice giggled under her breath.

"So...what did Carlisle think?"

"He told me if I had anything to do with it, he was going to 'beat my ass until I can't sit.'" The two friends howled with laughter, and were still laughing when they pulled up in front of the totally silent house. Bella wasn't sure which of them bounced out of the car first, but they walked together up to the front door. Opening it slowly, they listened.

"I am not wearing this!"

"Yes you are, Ed! If I have to dress up in a spiked collar and leather pants, you can at least wear that."

"Besides, we did agree to this. All of us."

"He's right, Edward. We did agree to let them choose the clothing. Can you really say you're surprised?" By this time the girls were creeping silently to the living room doorway, trying desperately not to laugh and give themselves away.

"I look like a damn Christmas present!" Alice couldn't stay quiet any longer. Grabbing Bella's hand they waltzed into the living room as though nothing was going on.

"Wrong. You look like a birthday present. Which is what you all are." Bella absently wondered how exactly Alice managed the mental coherency to talk. She herself was struck speechless by the view before her. Jasper and Emmett noticed her silence and, after grinning at each other, began to slowly stalk over.

"So what do you think, Bells?" Emmett's usually boisterous voice was lower, huskier, and it sent shivers down her spine. "You had a hand in these outfits, I know. Do we fit your fantasies?" She couldn't have been any more red if she tried, watching as he stopped a few inches away and ran his hand down over his rippled abs, down the slick leather of his pants, and her breathing was audible in the otherwise quiet room. Everyone had stopped to watch the interaction between the three.

"Are we all you imagined we'd be, darlin'?" whispered Jasper near her ear, making her shudder.

~Yes, cara mia, what do you think?~ Carlisle's voice inside her mind was the last straw. She threw herself with impressive speed between the scantily-clad vampires in front of her and ducked behind Alice.

"If you don't get me out of this room RIGHT NOW, I am not responsible for the consequences," moaned Bella, her arousal making her pant. Alice laughed hysterically.

"Oh, are you saying this turns you on, love?" came Edward's whispered voice in her ear, and she snapped. Spinning around she caught him off guard and slammed him against the wall, jumping up to latch her legs around his waist and kissing him frantically.

"I don't know," she managed to gasp. "What do you think?" She was about to lean forward and kiss him senseless when she felt small hands lift her firmly and carry her, struggling, towards the steps.

"You boys finish dressing. I've got a little problem to take care of here," said Alice gleefully as she bounded up the stairs, Bella carried easily in her grasp. A few moments later and they hear a door shut, and the unmistakable sounds of Bella gasping and whimpering. Jasper turned to the rest.

"If I might advise we do as the ladies say? We've only got a short time before Rose brings Esme home, and no, Edward, you are not backing out of that outfit." He picked up the ribbon. "Now, dress."

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