Who's My Daddy?

--

Since as long as I could remember, I had always lived in a small apartment with my gun-carrying mommy and our old dog, Black Hayate. I didn't know if I was supposed to have a daddy, or if any girl or boy my age had one, because I knew for a fact that my friend Elysia didn't have a daddy either. My mommy, people called her Lieutenant Hawkeye (a funny name in my opinion) never spoke about a daddy, so I accepted her story of how the big white bird had dropped me at her doorstep. By the time I was five years old I started having doubts. I realized that we didn't look alike at all: my mommy had hair the color of sunshine, while my hair was brownish black. Her eyes were a nice shade of brown that reminded me of cookies, while mine were really dark. Still, I never talked about my doubts with my Mommy. Whenever I asked her about my daddy, she always looked so sad and stroked my hair.

--

It was one afternoon when I was playing at Elysia's house that I finally cracked under my curiosity. She was several years older than me, like a big sister, and I knew she was the wisest person I could go to. Elysia's mommy had left the room to get something, so I took the chance. "Hey Elysia, have you ever wondered if you've got a daddy?'

Elysia's pigtailed heard popped up from the book she was reading. "I had a daddy once. He was put into the ground, and then he never came home again." Her voice shook a little and her large eyes stared sadly back into mine. "I waited a long time back then, and he didn't ever come home."

"Well…. if you've had a daddy, but he was put into the ground…that still means you've had a daddy before right?" I stared hopefully back at her. "You're just waiting for your daddy to come home."

"Yeah…." Elysia looked confusedly at me. "What are you trying to say?"

"Well…that means that I must have a daddy too! My mommy was lying to me!"

"Of course she was! How could you not have a daddy? My daddy used to play with me all the time…until…." Elysia trailed off quietly and started picking at a scab on her knee.

"I wonder what my daddy is like. Mommy is cool because she teaches me cool things with her guns, but I always wondered what it would be like to have a daddy."

"Hmm…have you asked your mommy where your daddy is?"

I shook my head. "My mommy never talks about my daddy. Whenever I ask her, she stops talking."

"Well, then you should. Ask your mommy when she reads you a bedtime story! Then you can tell me about your daddy." Elysia grinned at me.

--

That night, while my mommy was tucking me into bed, I asked her about my daddy again. She looked shocked for a moment, and then her face went back to normal, without a trace of the sadness from before. 'Well, the big white bird came and gave you to me, remember?" She smiled, smoothing my hair with her fingers.

I rolled my eyes. "Come on mommy. I'm almost six years old! I know I must have a daddy. Elysia told me she had one, but he was put into the ground. Everyone at my school has a daddy; some of them even wear the same clothes you do…the funny looking one that you wear to work. So Mommy, I do have a daddy, don't I?"

"Well…." My mommy hesitated, her eyes not looking into mine. "You do have a daddy."

I sprang out of bed triumphantly, pointing a finger at her accusingly. "Ha! I knew it mommy! You were lying to me." She smiled, almost sadly.

"It seems you've inherited his ego as well."

"What?" I wondered what an ego was.

"Never mind. Don't worry about your daddy right now. In time, mommy will tell you who your daddy is ok?" I started opening my mouth to protest, but my mommy stood up sternly, cutting me off with a serious stare. "Now, its way past bedtime, Mommy has to go to work early tomorrow, so let's go to bed ok?"

"Fine Mommy." I grumbled loudly, with no intentions to stop.

"If you behave, Mommy will teach you something cool with her guns tomorrow, but if you don't…" Mommy's eyes twinkled under the lights as I quickly dove back in bed.

"Good night Mommy!"

--

The next time I mentioned the subject of my daddy to anyone was almost three years later.

I was eight years old when I opened the door for a rather short guy with a steel arm. He stared down at me with a strange frown. I could hear the short steel man muttering, "So this is …. son of a…. looks exactly like him…bet they have the same ego…can't believe it…. knew he was a womanizer…. but Hawkeye…. Knowing its forbidden…. fraternizing…" He seemed completely lost in his muttering. I coughed loudly, causing the steel-armed guy to jump. He seemed to remember what he had come here for, because he looked sheepish.

"Is Lieutenant Hawkeye home yet?" I took in his sharp, calculating gaze and took a step back.

"No sir."

"Do you know when she will be back?"

I thought a little before replying. "She should be back in about ten or fifteen minutes. I think you should wait here; she shouldn't be gone that long."

"Oh. Ok then." Ed walked in, his boots clomping loudly on the floor.

"You can come into the kitchen sir." I saluted him, knowing that if he knew my mother, then he had to be someone from the military.

"Eh??…Stop calling me sir… just call me Ed. Wow, you really are the Lieutenant's son, so formal. " The guy stared down at me with the same expression that I remembered seeing on my mother's face so long ago. Suddenly, I remembered a story that my mother had told me at bedtime about a very short alchemist who had a steel arm.

"Are you the Full metal Alchemist?" I asked, gaping.

Ed looked surprised. "Yah…I guess you can say that." Then his face went completely smug. "I'm so famous all the kids know me! HA. Wait till I tell Mus-" He clapped a hand over his mouth, the top of his head turning a brilliant scarlet.

"My mom has told me all about you!" I ignored him, continuing, "You don't seem as short as she said you were."

"WHAT!?!?! I AM NOT SHORT. DEFINITELY NOT!" Ed yelled immediately, his face going from scarlet to purple. He jumped up and started to pace back and forth between the kitchen and the wall, completely absorbed in his attempts to defend his height. "Not short…definitely not…I grew two inches…"

I smiled at him, but inside my head was a raging battle. If Ed was from the military, then he must know something about my father. I had assumed this piece of information myself, because the only people my mother ever interacted with were guys from work.

"Hey Ed…Can I ask you a question?"

"I'm not a shrimp…no midget either- what?" He stopped mid-step and glanced back at me.

"Who is my daddy?"

Ed's face completely froze. "Well…about that." His gaze couldn't hold my anxious one.

"I don't know if I'm the right one to tell you that. It is a rather complicated situation. Plus…if the Lieutenant, I mean your mother hasn't told you herself, I don't think I should…. I'd probably get shot…. yeah…. don't want to die yet…have a date with Winry today…. sorry man." He smiled apologetically. My heart sunk dejectedly. Despite that, I was starting to think this Fullmetal Alchemist guy had mental issues; he talked to himself way too much.

At that moment, I heard the sound of a key scraping in a lock and the door opened to reveal my mother and Black Hayate at her heels, carrying an armful of shopping bags.

"Mom! The Full metal Alchemist Ed is here to see you!" I ran up to her and Black Hayate pounced on me immediately.

"Oh! Hello Edward." My mother glanced at him standing in the kitchen. "Something wrong?"

"Yah Lieutenant, can I speak to you privately? It's about that thing concerning Ametris………" I saw him glance at me, then back at my mother.

"Let's go to the other room and talk Edward." My mother set down the groceries near the sink and turned to look at me. "Don't disturb Mommy ok? She has to discuss work with the Fullmetal Alchemist." I nodded obediently, moving to sit at the kitchen counter, Black Hayate padding softly by my side.

"Wow Lieutenant, you've sure gotten soft. I remember when you used to potty-train Hayate by shooting him." Ed laughed, shoving his hands in his pockets.

My mother chuckled lightly. "It's been a few years since I've shot at someone with a gun."

He turned to follow my mother, but turned around after she had disappeared. I saw him point to the counter with a glint in his eye, and then he followed her into the room.

Confused, I looked down at the counter. A tiny white slip of paper had appeared there. My heart started beating furiously; maybe it was the name of my father! I unfolded it, and immediately felt all my hope evaporate. The paper read:

Flames.

I stared down at Black Hayate.

"What does 'flames' mean?"

--

By the time I was ten, I had given up hope of ever finding out who my father was. The note the Fullmetal Alchemist had given me was kept under my pillow. Every morning I would try to decipher the hidden meaning, with no avail.

Nowadays, I constantly heard my mother on the phone, talking about the stability of the country and the prospects of overthrowing the government. She always seemed to be on the phone with some Colonel. Apparently, we were about to go to war again, this time a civil war. My mother was so busy now that she rarely ever came home before midnight. Elysia's mother would bring dinner over for me, and I would eat alone, with Black Hayate for company.

One morning when I had no school, my mother decided to take me to work with her since no one else could take care of me. I had never been to her work, so I was pumping with excitement. We walked a little while through Central, before reaching the section of the city where she worked. The military offices looked very intimating on the outside, with lions guarding the front of the gates, their mouths wide and gaping.

My mother seemed to notice my hesitation. "Don't be scared. If anyone tries to pick on you, Mommy will shoot them with her guns ok?" Her arm around my shoulder tightened a little.

"Ok Mommy." I felt reassured, but I gulped before following her uniformed back through the double doors. Inside was a mess of blue uniformed soldiers, a few of whom saluted my mother, but most glanced at me with snide looks and averted their eyes. I wondered what was wrong with me, had I forgotten to brush my hair this morning? My mommy stopped to talk to someone, so I distracted myself by watching the many officers walking swiftly past. I saw a particularly big, muscular man with a mustachio waving fondly at me, sparkles shooting from his teeth. I waved back.

"Mom! Who's that big guy waving at me?" I turned around excitedly, but felt my guts twist.

She wasn't there.

"Mommy?" I stared around at the retreating backs of uniformed men, but I couldn't see my mother's blond hair anywhere amongst them. "Mom!" I started to panic, running down a nearby hallway, trying to locate any sign of yellow. Random officers in blue passed me with curious stares, but kept walking.

I stopped, panting, tears beginning to form in my eyes. "Mom…."

"Hello there."

I whipped around quickly, expecting to see my mother, but was greeted by a medium-height, raven-haired man in uniform who was smiling in an oddly familiar way. His eyes stared gently back into mine, which widened. Where had I seen him before?

"Are you lost?" He smiled down at me, reading the terrified look in my eyes.

"Who are you?" I asked bluntly. He was giving me a stare that made me feel very uncomfortable.

He frowned. "Well…just call me Colo- Mr. Roy Mustang." He held out a gloved hand with a red insignia. I stared down at the hand, confused. The symbol looked a lot like the one that my mommy had tattooed on her back. After a few seconds, I brushed it off, knowing it was impossible. My mommy had told me never to tell anyone about that mark, so how could some stranger know? There were probably a million alchemical insignias out there.

I shook Mr. Mustang's hand.

He smiled. "Do you need any help finding your mommy?"

"Yes." I continued to stare up at him. "She has long blond hair and people call her Lieuten-"

"Oh, I know."

He put a hand behind my back and started leading me back up the hallway. The soldiers all passing us froze with shock written all over their faces, then quickly straightened into a salute. I looked up at Mr. Mustang; he must be a very important person at the military to garner so much respect. I walked with him in silence, until we reached a large door with a plaque bearing 'Hawkeye'. I looked back at him in wonderment. How had he known who my mother was if I hadn't said her full name?

"Well, just wait out here and your mommy should be here in a while ok? She's a busy woman." He clapped me on the shoulder and turned to go, gloved hands in his pockets.

"Hey wait Mr. Mustang!" I called after his retreating back, forgotten hope suddenly blazing back into me. "Can I ask you a question?"

He rubbed his chin. "That depends on what the question is, now."

"Mr. Roy Mustang, do you know who my daddy is?"

His reaction was instantaneous. I watched him freeze, turning around slowly to stare at me with a pained look in his eyes. I was starting to wonder what the deal with my father was anyway; whenever I mentioned him, people started looking at me in that weird way.

Mr. Mustang lowered his level to mine and clapped both his hands on my shoulders. The look in his eyes sent chills down my spine. "I wish I could tell you who your daddy is, but I'm sure he loves your mommy very much."

….

Ten minutes later, when my mommy came back to get me, I was still staring at the corner where Mr. Mustang's blue uniform had vanished. His last words were stilling ringing in my ears. "I'm sure he loves your mommy very much."

--

After that encounter, I decided to stop my attempts to uncover my father. I never had the time to worry about who my daddy was anyway because by the time I was twelve, the civil war in Amestris had blown to ultimate proportions, and I was caught in the middle of it all.

I awoke one bleary morning to voices and loud banging.

"Hurry! You have to leave the city now! The military has declared war!" I had never seen my mother look more serious. Her blond hair, clipped up in its usual style, was disheveled. I noticed that she had on her full artillery, something that I'd never seen before. Occasionally, she'd have a gun or two on her, but never had I seen her with this many. She wasn't even wearing her usual military uniform. In the distance, I could hear the sounds of bombs going off and the crashing of buildings.

Then I noticed the woman dressed in all black standing in the dark corner of the apartment. My mother saw where I was staring.

"That's Lan Fan, an old colleague of mine. She guards the Emperor of Xing, Lin, and he offered his aide to us because he owes us a favor. Ran Fan will be helping you evacuate. At this moment, the only safe country you can go to is Xing."

The masked woman in the corner nodded but remained silent.

"What about you…?" I asked, too scared to say anymore. A strange look came into my mother's face. "I can't go with you."

"What?" I whispered, shocked.

"I have to stay and aide the military."

"What…." My breath hitched violently in my throat. "Leave the military and go to safety with us! Think about yourself for once." I whispered, scared stiff with the image of my mother dying in the ruins of Central.

"You're just like your father, you know." She smiled warmly at me. I stared at her in disbelief; She never mentioned anything about my father. "Don't worry about me. As long as I know you're safe somewhere far away, I'll be happy. There's someone I swore to protect here."

"Dad…?"

She shook her head, just as a resonating crash echoed around us.

The woman named Lan Fan sprang from her spot in the corner and landed beside my mother.

"I think it's best we get going now Ms. Hawkeye. Say hello to the Flame Alchemist for me."

"Yes. You need to get going."

"I wish Black Hayate was still here."

She nodded. "I do too."

I stared into my mother's face before she pulled me into a last hug.

"Take this gun with you. Use it only to protect yourself."

I gulped, looking back at her, trying to fuse the image of her features and sunshine hair into my memory before allowing myself to be pulled into the chaos of war outside. I was surprised when Lan Fan herself stopped on the threshold of the door. Swiftly, She turned back to my mother, the mask obscuring her face.

"Don't let him die."

--

The civil war raged on while I stayed in Xing, powerless to do anything. The emperor Lin was kind to me, telling me stories of how my mother had saved his life when he was a prince. However, I waited tirelessly for news from Central so I could return home.

When Lan Fan brought me back into the rebuilding city of Central three years later, I felt nostalgic. I hadn't seen my mother in years. From the smuggled newspapers that I had read, my mother had become a war hero, helping with the assassinations of the homunculi and saving many lives. There was a new fuehrer, a new future, but I still didn't know who my father was. That part dampened the joy that flared inside of me on returning home.

I was finally meeting up with my mother at the military gala that evening. Lan Fan told me her orders were to drop me off at Elysia's house where they would take me to the party. I thanked her, and then she was gone.

Thankfully, Elysia's house hadn't received the fate of the other buildings in Central. I hadn't seen Elysia in years, so meeting each other again was a happy affair.

She had become tall and beautiful, almost the spitting image of her mother. She gasped when she saw me in the door, running over and pulling me into a hug.

"It's been a long time Elysia."

"Too long! You've gotten so tall too!" She pulled away and looked me over. "Still, not as tall as me." She stuck out her tongue.

"Don't get full of yourself Elysia, I'm going to be fuehrer one day, and no one will care how tall I am." I huffed proudly. " Then my mother can finally take care of herself more."

"You must be proud to have a mother like that huh." Her gentle eyes looked admirably up at me. "I read about her all the time in the paper. She really is amazing."

"Yeah, I've missed her all these years. Growing up, it was just the two of us. I remember when she used to teach me her gun techniques, but I'll never be as good as her. In Xing, there wasn't much to do, it was too traditional…I practiced shooting targets all day."

"Wow…. hey…any luck on your father?" She gave me her usual quizzical look.

I shook my head miserably. "No. But I've decided, that even if my father never shows himself to me, he must have his reasons. A Mr. Mustang once told me, "I'm sure your father loves your mother very much. As long as I know that, I'll be satisfied."

"Well said."

…

It was almost eight when I arrived at the party with Elysia. Gracia had gone to the cemetery to visit Elysia's father again, so we entered together. I stared around hastily trying to locate my mother through the endless field of blue and multi-colored dresses. The mood of this party felt lighthearted, even…was it sweet? This didn't seem like the usual formal military event. Perhaps the military was just as happy as the civilians that the war was finally over. People in blue uniforms around us whispered lightly to each other as I passed them with Elysia. As I passed, I heard snatches of conversation.

"Finally, after all those years, they can be together."

I wondered what they were talking about; surely they weren't talking about the civil war that we just had. Elysia seemed to notice to. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "I don't know."

"Remember the old days when he was a Colonel? They were inseparable."

"About time."

"I'm so happy for them."

"Didn't they have a boy together? Dark hair, spitting image of him?

"Roy?"

I froze.

Behind me, I heard Elysia gasp, pointing upward toward the balcony belonging to the Fuehrer. My eyes followed her gaze.

Suddenly, everything became clear. Ed's note: Flames, the reason I didn't look like my mother, why everyone at the military had treated me with such apprehension, why Black Hayate never barked when he came to visit, the symbol, my name….

After fifteen years, I was finally staring into the eyes of my father.

He was looking down at me with proud eyes, and my mother, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, was finally standing where she should've been standing since the beginning.

I had found him. Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist was my father.

--

First Royai...I don't like the ending . It feels like somethings missing....All feedback welcome!