Sad Endings and Unknown Beginnings

By Servant of the Shadows

Chapter One

Memories//Diary Entries

Parseltongue//Dragonspeak

Author Notes

Thoughts

Warnings: Slash, mentions of gore, violence, Mpreg(MAYBE), OOC, AU, crossover, total disregard of HBP and DH, insanity, insanity and a tendency of irregular updates… Think I got them all…

~*~*~*~

Darkness was all he could see for several moments before it all exploded into a cataclysm of destruction. The sounds were faded and his view was blurry, but it was enough to be able to see the body parts fly across the sky, red droplets forming arcs that cut through the evening sky.

Morning had faded into noon long ago, noon had faded into evening and evening had faded into night; and yet the fighting had yet to be over. Red and green here, blue and purple there, almost like a rainbow grazing the late hours of the night.

The feeling in his right arm had long ago numbed and blood spilled from the cut he had received from his lover, before he had smashed his head into the ground with a well placed reducto. Humorless laughter spilled from his mouth as he remembered the nights he had spent with him.

"They said I had an affinity to dragons, lately I'm also realizing I end up killing them" he whispered to himself in a fit of insanity as he moved across the empty sea of grass and bodies. Faces of those he knew passing by as he stepped forth, towards the coward who had taught him so much in the last few years.

The laughter had yet to stop, and the pain had yet to appear. His glasses were long ago lost and his clothes were little more than rags. His scarred body was no longer that of an underfed brat who complained about his potions professor, but none of it mattered anymore for he was certain he was going to die tonight.

All the hours of lessons he had received were now going to be lost along with half the wizarding population. French, Latin, Spanish, Dark Arts, advanced Transfiguration… the list grew and piled at his feet…

Before the first death of a friend, the death toll had only been a number to accompany a fake hurt. Now memories, feelings and righteous anger that consumed his whole being came along with the sight of their pale faces, their eyes unseeing. He still remembered Ginny's death, the last Weasley who lived, his last link to his two dearest best friends.

The decimated corpses that surrounded Hogwart's seemed to take the face of each person he had loved. Ginny was to his far left and Hermione to his right, in front of him lay Remus clutching Tonk's pregnant corpse. His laughter rose as he came upon Draco's corpse, he still remembered how he had cried out for mercy as the curse transformed his head in the work of art that now covered the stairs of the castle.

"How do you like the taste of betrayal, Draco dearest?" He cooed as he watched the headless mess. An insane smirk danced across his face as he stepped forward and over his body. "Watch the head"

The last remaining member of the order had fallen if the new sounds were anything to go by. The cheers rose among the Death Eaters as a wave of relief, before it was all stopped by Voldemort himself.

"Bring me the boy." He hissed, his voice taking a sadistic hint as he watched his followers pale in the realization that they just had claimed an early victory.

The utter silence of the bloodied Great Hall was broken by the laughter that came from the disheveled figure that stood between the wooden doors.

"You asked for me?" he crackled as coughs started to wrack his frame, blood came along with it. "Then why don't you come yourself, or are you that useless without your followers?" He added weakly as blood dribbled down his chin.

Voldemort sneered from his place in the middle of the room. "You dare mock me in the state you are in? Surely you realized you are about to die?"

"I died long ago, Tom, by reasons you will never understand. Although I do give you credit in my defeat of you, after all it was you who made me stronger. There is no good or evil, indeed." The seventeen year old Harry Potter replied as he raised his wand and cast the last spell of the war.

"Avada Kadavra"

The stillness of the summer air that surrounded the Potter Manor was broken by the piercing scream that was emitted from the master bedroom, past many walls and stairs and portraits and behind the black wooden door.

Inside, lying on a bed big enough to be used by several couples and scrambled across dark sheets and thousands of pillows was a panting Harry Potter. His muscled chest was flying upwards and downwards in a familiar rhythm that soothed his troubled mind, his emerald eyes open wide in fright.

The vestiges of his memory were still imprinted deeply inside his clouded conciseness, but years of experience had soon made this rude awakening into a normal morning routine. The laughter that followed the scream had nothing but insanity inside it, but this seemed to be normal as the house elves ignored their deranged master and continued in their preparations for the day.

Breakfast on his bed and dinner by the fire place, the bottle of Firewhiskey always beside him… Yes, today was to be a normal day.

~*~*~*

Once dressed in a black robe, Harry scrambled out of the room in search for the one need his house elves denied him. Cigarettes… they were a vice, he knew, but it did not matter to a person who could not die from lung cancer. Or die at all if it truly came down to it…

Taking a deep breath to settle his wandering mind, he stepped across the last door frame and into the mid morning outside world. His black clad form a sharp contrast to the chipper day, but his mind seemed not to care as he passed across the neatly trimmed front yard.

He took one last look over his shoulder to glance at Potter Manor in all its glory, its soft golden wood basking in the sunlight. The gemmed hoops that pierced his left ear clinked together as he turned towards the outer wards once more. Diamond and Emerald representing Slytherin, Ruby and Topaz representing Gryffindor… the houses of his two personalities.

With the taste of nicotine in the tip of his tongue and more than half his Gryffindor courage gathered, he stepped through the wards that protected him from all the chaos that lay rest at the outskirts of his home.

The first thing he registered was the flashes, the second thing he recognized were the franticly yelled questions and lastly was the feeling of being smashed against a sea of bodies. Flashbacks danced across the edge of his mind as his lips parted to emit the crazy laughter that seemed to be omnipresent in his life.

Fingers dug into his scalp and with belated notice he realized they were his own. The sudden silence and the eerie quiet was the only thing that alerted him of his current solitude, or for a better word, his retreat inside his mind. He knew the reporters were still surrounding him and that more pictures were taken to be posted in the rag called The Daily Prophet, but as of now he was in his sanctuary somewhere they could not reach…

The feeling of being squeezed through a small rubber tube gripped him and as the sound was drowned out for a few seconds. He continued laughing.

~*~*~*~

Stepping out of the muggle grocery store, Harry pulled out the newly bought package of cigarettes and quickly placed one on his lips. The cancer stick was resting over his lips when he started to notice his current location.

"Somewhere east and closer to the sea than I thought, Liverpool maybe?" he talked to himself, the half lit smoke dancing over his lips as the words flowed past them. "Meh, doesn't really matter…" he added with a shrug, taking a deep drag.

"You should stop that" said a well known voice to his left, and Harry didn't even miss a beat as his wand flew out of its holster. "It will end up killing you." Added Draco Malfoy.

"Well, betraying me worked just as well for you didn't it?" He replied as he placed the wand back in its holster. "But then again that Reducto might've done it"

Draco just pouted, and even if Harry couldn't see it he was sure he was pouting. "Speaking of that, why can't you stay dead and give me some inner peace, knowing you are rotting somewhere in the deepest pools of hell?"

"Where would be the fun in that? Besides I've already apologized plenty for killing the red head, faking to be in love with you and being Voldemort's fuck toy. Did I miss anything?" He said nonchalantly as if only commenting on the weather. His perfectly solid hands dancing around him as if to prove the point he had just stated.

Harry sighed in annoyance. "Of all the people who died, it just had to be you did it? Fate had to be a stuck up bitch and damn me to your never ending company. I'm just glad it will hopefully end today."

"You enjoyed my company well enough if your words were anything to go by on the nights we spent together." Draco replied saucily while wiggling his platinum eyebrows. Harry's response was to ground his teeth in annoyance.

"Mommy why is that man speaking to himself and wearing a dress?" stage whispered a little girl from behind the wizard. Her wide brown eyes were filled with curiosity while her small hand was clutching a woman's flower patterned dress.

"Pay him no mind, dear." The woman whispered as she pulled her daughter along and away from Harry. The avoided person merely laughed and threw the cigarette to the floor, his feet smashing it to the ground.

Looking towards the sky and doing everything in his power to ignore the depressing feeling that swelled inside his chest at the reminder that little girl had given him in such a fine morning. He truly was insane. Who would've thought the savior of the wizarding world was schizophrenic?

The dark clouds that gathered in the horizon seemed to reflect the world inside his mind and with a small nostalgic smile he disapparated, not minding one second the fact that he was in plain view of muggles.

~*~*~*~

Once he was safely inside the house and far away from the grabby hands and dizzying flashes, he came to realize that the door he was currently resting against was the inside of his office. The reason for the overflowing stacks of papers and the film of dust that covered every available surface was due to the banishment of any other living creature inside this room. Of course that counted the house elves as well.

He had learned the mistake of trusting or belittling a magical creature before, and said mistake resulted in the death of his godfather. Kreacher, the little mongrel, had not lived to see the start of the war. Harry had personally made sure of it by sending the house elves' head to Narcissa Malfoy on Christmas morning.

Taking a step forward Harry approached the desk and threw himself over the empty seat. The cloud of dust that was released did not disturb Harry as he had already expected it to be so, after all, the place had not housed anyone during many months following his discovery inside this very room.

Casting aside the yellowed parchment and clutching all his research as if his life depended on the tome of parchment in his hands. Directly in front of him was the compilation of all the information he could get his hands on concerning the Philosophers Stone.

The worst part about finding out he was immortal after the destruction of everything he lived for was the fact that Dumbledore had know all along. The task of protecting said stone in the first year of magical school had not been all about not letting Voldemort get hold of it, because heavens knew he would've never been able to get past Dumbledore's test, it had been about Harry holding the stone with his bare hand.

His barely legible scribbles were blurred by the tears he had shed at the discovery. They had not been tears of happiness or sadness or relief or amazement… They had been tears of anger at the fact that he was to live forever no matter what. Jumping out of a twenty story building, strapping himself to a muggle anchor, shooting himself in the head. Nothing had destroyed him and released his soul; he had just awoken days, weeks or months later in perfect state. And he could not hate life more…

Who would have thought that the key to using the Philosophers' Stone lay in getting pieces of the stone inside your bloodstream? Well I certainly would've never thought it, but apparently Dumbledore had known the effects that it would cause in a human body as the blood became one with the stone, making it the perfect serum to immortality. The shards that had dug into my palm as I fought Voldemort that night had not been removed, causing the effect that had cursed me with immortality.

What is immortality? Living long enough to see the world change, to witness the human race evolve or perhaps being forever young? For me, I had only even wanted one thing and immortality was not it… Fate has tricked me once more into believing I had finally fulfilled my role in life and that I would've finally reached a place of peace, where I would meet my parents and live in a state of eternal happiness.

That is immortality for me, not some illusion of never dying and never ageing. Death has escaped my grasp and I am to forever wander the land and watch as centuries change and be forever alone. Where is the greatness in that?

…

Today, while I was brooding on the death of my Godfather I came to a conclusion to the only way I could die. I still have much research to make, but I am positive that Fate has had some pity on me and soon I will be free of this hellish nightmare which I had thought I could not escape.

The Death Gate was aptly named as it was once used as a execution grounds, it has already been proven by all possible methods that life inside the gate cannot survive and even those beings that belong to the afterlife have not escaped the death sentence that crossing the gate has spelled out since its discovery inside Stonehenge's inner circle. Not one dementor, vampire or ghost has come back once they have touched the silvery veil and I have a new found hope that I may yet escape the confines of my body.

A genuine smile spread across Harry's face as he re-read his notes and anticipation seared through his veins as he realized today was the day he was to finally test out his theory. July 31st…

~*~*~*~

As night fell around the Manor, life inside it was nothing but dark or calm. The house elves that had predicted a normal day had received a surprise when their master had appeared inside the kitchen with a smile in his face and a full bottle of firewhiskey at his side. Plates had fallen and yells had emitted from their mouths, but Harry had not been deterred.

"Arrange the Manor as I had told you to do many months back, leave nothing behind that may be a hazard to a small child." He said as he planned inside his mind the future of his Manor.

Many months back Harry had had the idea of filling in the empty 73 bedrooms that were present inside the Potter Manor. The only sane conclusion he had reached, apart from making it a zoo, was to make it an orphanage using all the available funds inside the Potter and Black Vaults. To say it was enough for the rest of the country to live fitfully was an understatement, but it had never meant anything to Harry. They were just numbers after all…

The idea had been spurred from his own thoughts of his childhood, the abuse he had suffered from all the muggles and once he was introduced to the wizarding world how he had been manipulated and deceived. He did not wish that fate on any of the other children and it might just be wistful thinking, but if many of the children grew up together before going to Hogwarts the house rivalry may just be bearable. Besides many of the casualties in the war had left children in their wake…

"Sir, the rooms are ready. Six beds per room and the Ball Room has been made into a Dining Room, the forbidden books inside the library have been locked away inside you study and all the cursed objects you placed across the Manor have been removed. The pantry had been filled to the brim and every bathroom has been cleaned and equipped with all the toiletries." The chief house elf narrated as he awaited the approval from his master.

At Harry's absentminded nod the house elf beamed. "The pool has also been filled with the weird, plastic, muggle floatable things you ordered months back. The playground has been placed in the grounds. The Manor is ready for the guests."

Harry just continued smiling.

~*~*~*~

Apparating to the only place Harry had deemed safe after the war, he walked through the small gateway and towards the door. Once he knocked three consecutive times he waited with bated breath, he had never come unannounced before.

The door creaked open slowly, almost as if to delay the upcoming conversation and the person who was revealed brought a sigh of relief to his lips. Madam Pomphrey stood in the doorway, her silver hair disheveled and already donned in her night clothes.

Once her kind brown eyes rested upon him they softened with sadness. "Is it time already?"She asked her voice filled with anguish. At Harry's nod, she stepped back and transfigured her nightwear into the neutral white robes that she had always worn.

"Then we better go" she said as she locked her house down. Harry nodded and walked forward and once he crossed the small gateway he felt the wards surround the house. Madame Pomphrey came to stand next to him seconds after and with a small sigh she clutched his arm.

"Happy birthday, dear" She whispered before she was pulled along in side-apparition.

~*~*~*~*

The Pediatric Ward inside St. Mungos had never been so full before and as the collective cries of the children filled the whole hospital, the head Medi-Wizard had no idea what to do. After the war had ended several years back the number of orphans had increased by 70% and seeing as the law that prevented children from being placed in muggle orphanages had been passed said orphans were of varying ages.

The funds within the hospital were going down and before long the hospital would be bankrupt; and for that reason alone was why Harry Potter was now signing the 130 pages that gave him authority over all the orphans that could be traced back to the war.

Madame Pomphrey had had to do little to convince the Head Medi-Wizard to pass custody to Harry and her, so without delay several of the interns and nurses were busy ferrying the children from the ward to the Entrance Hall inside Potter Manor, where the children were separated depending on their ages. Clothes, food, background information and education were to be provided to those that were taken under his wing and with the ever present smile on his face he continued to sign.

Not once did they ask why he hadn't aged a day when it had been more than four years after Voldemort's defeat.

~*~*~*~*~

"The children are all inside and asleep. Their custody and both Vaults have been written down in my will. All that is left for me is to die." Harry said as he stood in the empty grounds outside the children filled Manor, Madame Pomphrey stood by his side with a woolen blanket wrapped around her frail body. The tears were already streaming across her cheeks. "The last hour is nearby. My death day will soon be over; it is time for me to leave…"

"May the fates grant you peace in you last journey, and May you find your eternal place." She whispered as she watched him walk towards the great gates that protected the Manor.

~*~*~*~*~

Harry stood before the Veil that had starred in his dreams more times than he dared count and he could not understand why he had feared it so. Death was a natural circumstance in life, and the fact that he couldn't experience it was something that set him apart from the rest of the human race, making him a freak.

It was funny how his Uncle had always been right, not by the reasons he had thought but by the sentiment behind the word. The laughter started once more as he witnessed as his Godfather sped towards the Gate again and again, like a macabre movie.

"You know if you continue laughing someone might think you are crazy." whispered his late lover as he took a step forward.

"Good bye Draco" Harry whispered back as he leaned forward. A calm smile on his face as his body leaned into the veil, swallowing it inside its inky and unknown depths.

Phew, plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone! But if you like it, click on the button that's beneath this useless AN and expect a post soon(ish…)!