Introduction:
We see Burga141 sitting on a comfy recliner near a burning fire place in a fancy living room.
Burga141: Hey there folks sorry for that loooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg wait! I'm also sorry about the confusion with Peter Griffin in the last chapter. He doesn't know that my finals ended the week before I wrote that chapter and tries to use it as an excuse for beating the crap out of me. Stupid beaver!
Beaver: (Upset) What, I didn't say nothing.
Burga141: Yeah….So let's get on with the story as we see how Duncan, Noah, and Harold tries to return home with the Nazi invasion.
Beaver: (Smiles) Duncan, Noah, and Harold stuck in time during the Nazi invasion? Now that's a story I can sink my teeth into! (Looks at the screen) Stick around.
Chapter 3: Escape to London!!!!
The Nazis are destroying buildings with bombs and setting Synagogues on fire. Duncan, Noah, and Harold are hiding behind crates in a alley way.
Duncan: I knew there was something familiar about this date. September 1st, 1939. This is the invasion of Poland.
Noah: (Raises an eyebrow) It's also the exact day and year that Rene Russo was born.
Duncan: (Rolls his eyes) Noah there's no time for dweeby facts about this date! We gotta get outta here fast!Quick, set up the return pad and let's get back to our own time.
Noah: (Takes out the return pack from his backpack and looks annoyed) Alright, alright! (mumbles) I wonder if Courtney wants to shoot herself with your bossiness.
Duncan: (scowls at him) What was that?!
Noah: (Nervous) Uh… nothing!
Noah sets the return pad on the ground and all three of them gets on. Noah presses the button but nothing happened.
Duncan: (Gets impatient) What's wrong? Why we're still here?
Noah: (Shrugs) I don't know.
Duncan: (Gets frustrated) Noah it's not working!
Noah: (Looks up at him with a snobbish look) Yeah. And you know what's not gonna fix it? Your shouting.
Harold: (Getting nervous) Aw god! Should we ask somebody for help?
Noah: (Smiles cocky) Yeah, right. How many pollocks does it take to fix the time machine? Let's find out.
Duncan: No, we can't stay here. We'll have to get Harold to England. It's the only place he'll be safe from the Nazis.
Harold: (Scared) Oh gosh, they're awful those Nazis. If they catch me, they'll beat me unmerciful and rub dirt on my assneck all over my assy nipples.
Noah: (Looks at him weirdly) What?
Then a bullet was fired at them but missed them and hit the crate behind them. They turn to see who fired it and it was a Nazi General with three Nazi shoulders behind him.
Nazi General: (Shouts) Juden. Ruber der schmutzen auf deine assneck!
Duncan: (Shouts) RUN!!!
Duncan, Noah, and Harold runs away. The scene skips to the Poland checkpoint that's guarded by Nazis. They hide behind crates.
Duncan: All right, there's the checkpoint. If we can get past it, we're out of occupied Poland.
Noah: (Nods) Right, Harold you're set?
Harold: (Wearing a priest outfit and holding the bible.) Gosh I hope this works.
They walk up to the check point with a nervous priest Harold.
Noah: (To the Nazis) Hello. We'd like to leave Poland now. And we'll be bringing our friend, who's absolutely 100% not Jewish.
Harold: (Sheepishly smiles) Hey, how about the Jesus, huh? What a God!
Nazi General: (Walks up to Harold) Father, we are so glad you're here. We needed to conduct last right for our friend over there.
He walks Harold to a dying wounded Nazi Soldier lying on the ground. Duncan and Harold follows them.
Harold: (Gulps and is nervous) Oh-- Well, ah-- I suppose, eh-- Dear god! Um-- Non Jewish god, be a mensch— (Duncan and Noah coughs loudly) I mean a good guy, 'cause it says in the old book-- Not so old though. You know still good, still good-- Uh, still something good thing to say-- (Duncan and Noah coughs loudly) We pray in the name of you and of your son, who died in a freak accident, that you can't really blame on anyone. (Duncan and Noah coughs loudly) Take this man up to your retail pain place.
Nazi General: (Looks at him suspiciously) Are you sure you're a real priest?
Noah: Yeah, I can vouch for him, he's real. He's molested me many-many times.
Real Priest: (Comes up to them) Sorry, I'm late. I was busy doing-- am-- innocent non-molested things.
Nazi General: (Gets suspicious) Wait a minute. Two priests? That's impossible! (Takes off the white collar off of Harold's neck and gasps) This priest is a fake! This collar comes right off!
Dying wounded Nazi Soldier: (Sits up and points at Harold) HE'S A FILTHY JEW!
Noah: (Gives the wounded soldier a serious look) Oh boy, you, you are, you, you, you should be glad, your HR person was not around hear that.
Duncan: (Shouts) Run!
Duncan, Noah, and Harold hops on a Nazi motorcycle with Duncan taking the wheel and Noah sitting behind Harold in the Passenger cart. As they ride off and crashing through the blocked plank of the checkpoint, the Nazi General Gets in the Nazi convertible buggy in the driver seat with 2 Nazis sitting in the back seat. They race after them with full speed. Duncan looks back at them and seeing that they are ganging up on them so he speeds off even more then they are farther away. He looks back on road but runs over a large rock and flies off the motorcycle and on the ground. Noah jumps out of the cart and takes over the wheel and stops it. Duncan sees the Nazis are coming to him and looks at an old man with a wooden wheeled cart of apples that gave him an idea.
Duncan: (Gabs the cart and takes off the wooden walls making it a skateboard) I need to borrow this pops. (skates off)
The old man sees the coming car behind him and jumps off the road. Duncan is skating faster but the Nazis buggy was closer to him. Duncan turns around and holds on the front trunk while pressing the back of the skateboard to ground. The Nazis throws empty glass bottles at him but misses him. His hands are starting to slip off and he franticly turns his head seeing that they are heading towards an open manure truck. He looks at the Nazis with his devilish grin and pushes his skateboard under the moving vehicle while he jumps over their heads and lands on his skateboard behind them. The Nazis runs into the manure truck and all three of them are now sitting in cow crap.
Nazi General: (shouts) Das poop!
Duncan smirks at them and Noah drives the motorcycle to him. He takes the wheel and Noah sits in the passenger cart behind Harold. They drive to a high cliff that has below the Nazi U-boat seaport-docks with all the Nazi Navy Soldiers getting ready to go under water.
Duncan: (Sarcastic) Well, Nazis, that's refreshing.
They sneak down the hillside of the cliff and goes behind the nearest boulder to the dock.
Duncan: (whispers to Nah and Harold) All right, on three we make to the closest U-boat. Ready? 1, 2, 3!
They run quickly to the nearest U-boat but gets noticed by a Nazi Navy.
Nazi Navy: (Points at them and Yells) Ah, unsere untersee-boot sind stielen mit eine punk und nerd und Ginger boy.
All of the Navy Nazis chases after them but they jumped in a U-boat and closes the door. Duncan sits in the pilot seat to control the U-boat with Harold and Noah on radar.
Harold: (Smiles) Wicked! Finally my training from 'Submarines Steve: Radar Reading Camp' will finally pay off! (looks at Duncan who is pushing all buttons and switches to prepare for dive down) Since when did you control a submarine?
Duncan: (Smirks) When you stole a submarine from the life guards to escape prison, you'll learn on your own. (Pulls the lever) Everybody hang on. (Pushes down the control handles to dive down the U-boat.)
The Nazis who were standing on the same U-boat on the top outside jumps off when it dives down. They go in another U-boat to stop them and dives down. In the time travelers U-boat Duncan was driving it while Noah and Harold were keeping radar.
Noah: (Looks at the green screen seeing to big red dots.) We're being pursued by two objects. Looks like one's another U-boat. The other appears to be Terence Trent D'Arby.
In the Nazi U-boat a Navy Nazi was setting lock on launching a torpedo on the other U-boat with the three travelers.
Captain: Fire!
Noah: (Sees a big flashing red dot coming towards them) O-oh.
Duncan: (Looks concerned) What?
Noah: (Looks cautiously scared) Hold on to something.
The torpedo is getting closer to them but Duncan makes a sharp shift to the right side making the torpedo scratch hard on the side of the U-boat. It then explodes in far front of their U-boat making it shake. Duncan thought quickly and came up with an idea.
Duncan: (Scowls) Noah, I've got an idea. It's a long shot but it just might work. See that newspaper? (Points to the pile of newspapers next to him)
Noah: (Raises an eyebrow) Yeah.
Duncan: Stuff it in the waist-tube.
Noah takes the pile and stuffs it in the waist-tube. He pulls down the eject lever making the newspapers shoot through the sea behind them making it go onto the driving window of the Nazis U-boat so they can't see. The Nazis scream as they were crashing. They crashed downward right on the bottom of the sea. Then a bunch of police cars were crashing and piling up next to the U-boat. Moments later in the survived U-boat, Noah pulls down the telescope and sees the docks on the port in England.
Noah: (Jumps up and down happily) Oh my god! It's England. We've reached England. We're saved.
Duncan: (Relieved in joy) YES!! WE ARE ALIVE!!
Harold: (Happy) YES!!
He hugs Duncan and Duncan hugs back. They snap out of it and Duncan pushes him off. Two minutes later, three of them are walking through the destroyed city of London.
Noah: (Looks intrigued) Ah, London in war time. This is history right here, Duncan. And look, there's Winston Churchill. Maybe we'll get an up-close look at his legendary wit.
Sees Winston smoking a cigar with an old lady next to him and are in front of a burnt down building.
Old Lady: (British tone in wittiness) Ah, Winston, drunk again, I see?
Winston: (Takes out cigar and scowls) Yeah, well, and you are fat bitch.
British man watching them: (Amused) Wickedly funny! (laughs)
Noah: (Not impressed) Hm, I guess history is just wittled it down to the gyms.
Later, at an alley way, Duncan and Harold are standing on the return pad with Noah working on it. Duncan is tapping his foot impatiently with Harold getting frustrated.
Harold: (Impatient) Why isn't the time machine working?
Noah: (Scowls) I'm working on it Harold, all right?! (An empty container pops out of the energy filter) Aw, here's the problem.
Duncan: (Rolls his eyes and is annoyed) Oh what now?!
Noah: (Takes out container) The transfer circuts are powered by uranium and this thing is taped out.
Duncan: (Looks worried) Wait a minute, are you saying we need to find some uranium?
Noah: (Shrugs) I'm afraid so. But where do we find uranium in World War II Europe?
Duncan: Well from my history class, I remember hearing about this stuff. There's only one place. At the top secret atomic research facility. In Berlin.
Noah: (Eyes widen) Wait a minute, Germany is building weapons of mass destruction? (Frowns) Why doesn't the Americans go there and kick their asses?
Duncan: (Shrugs) I don't know. (Turns to the screen with a scowl) Maybe because they don't have any oil?
Noah: (Smiles) Aw, clap-clap-clap-clap-clap. (Claps his hands)
Burga141: What'll happen? You'll findout in the next chapter. (Evilly Laughs) Ahem. You know if Harold didn't thought Noah time machine was a port-a-potty then Noah and Duncan won't be in that mess. Stupid Beaver!
Beaver: Hey, I wasn't even there! I was building a Canadian dam at the time. (Smiles) Did you know that beavers affect ... more than any other animal? Except men.
Burga141: (Smiles and Chuckles) He was here in the beginning of this chapter.