Disclaimer: I do not own the characters used in this story. They belong to Square Enix and all other respective owners. I make no profit from the publication of this story. The plot and situations however are mine, and redistribution or duplication without my consent is strictly prohibited.

Author's Note: I couldn't deal with the grief. And this idea was just like, tossing around in my brain while I tried to sleep last night, so I spent all of 6 hours of my day writing down this chapter so I could get everything down in it's original state. It might be rough, but I really like this idea and I think this is one of the most expressive, most well-written things I've produced in a long time. And my longest chapter of anything, EVER. I'm very proud. So, without further adieu, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Semi-explicit sexual content, THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS, mainly from Crisis Core. I don't think they're anything major and I'm not sure how often they might come up, you've been warned. This takes place five years after Zack's death, ten years after the beginning of events in Crisis Core, and roughly 2 years after Advent Children and 3 after Dirge of Cerberus, because I'm only estimating the the events in FFVII took about a year, since there's no exact time frame. If I'm wrong, feel free to correct me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Lifestream was a strange place to be.

Upon arrival it was comforting. The separation of the spiritual from the physical provided relief. Pain left as quickly as it had come, a feeling of peace washing over. But just as quickly as it had provided comfort, fear followed. The fear was instantaneous, gripping, as the realization of the physical slipping away struck. From that moment on, one was nothing more than their soul, what seemed like a shadow of their former selves.

All that was needed to be human was there. The soul, the personality- both remained intact. And yet, if someone in the Lifestream could describe it, they wouldn't describe it as living. It was merely existing, and certainly not as a person. With the physical vessel stripped away, there was no need for senses. Touch didn't exist, sight and sound traveled through the air telepathically, the only means of communication. Minds did the sensing, and in some ways, they detected more than human senses would ever be able to.

Zack Fair had spent the last five years in the Lifestream. He wasn't sure when he had gotten used to it, perhaps he never had. But he had managed to accept it with mild tolerance. He tried his best to just stop thinking at some point, although he wasn't sure when, since there was no time in the Lifestream. He did his best to rest his mind, something comparative to sleep, if sleep were to exist here. It stopped the thoughts that tormented him, the memories that tore him apart.

But, in this one particular moment, Zack sensed something that he could not ignore.

It was an emotion, traveling in a current across empty space. Zack wasn't quite sure he knew where or who it was coming from, but he could feel it too. It was something like excitement, anxiousness, and he could sense change. If he could have, he would have smiled in nervousness.

"Angeal? What's going on, man?"

His mind conjured up an image of the older man, standing before him, wearing a knowing smile.

"Talk to Aerith," the older man shrugged, smiling all the while. "She's always behind these things."

He mentally nodded in a gesture of understanding and appreciation. Angeal gave him one last smile, waving his hand in dismissal before walking away.

"Aerith?" Zack inquired, waiting a moment until he thought she'd be able to hear his thoughts. "Where are you?"

"Right here!" He heard her voice chime, cheerful as ever. In his mind, her image appeared. She was kneeling amongst a field of flowers, as she usually was.

"Tending to the flowers again?"

Aerith stood from her kneeling position, dusting off the bottom of her pink dress. She turned around, looked at Zack with those beautiful green eyes and smiled.

"Don't they look beautiful?"

Aerith could see Zack with his arms folded behind his head, nodding slightly. Despite how sullen he had become recently, he was still the same old Zack.

"Lifestream full of flowers, wallet full of money, huh?"

Aerith's bright and cheery laughter entered his mind, and he felt happy. She smiled warmly at him, reaching for his hand. Zack wasn't at all surprised to find that he couldn't feel it. He had to wonder why Aerith had even bothered with the gesture. But he supposed, since she was different, she was able to feel him, somehow. Out of all the people he had encountered in the Lifestream, her image had always been the clearest, the most real. She was able to change the space around her, use the Lifestream's power in interesting ways. She had planted flowers in the Lifestream, for goodness sake, although Zack was still uncertain whether or not they existed or were just another image conjured by his mind.

"I have news for you," Aerith spoke excitedly, looking deep into his eyes.

"So you're the reason for this change I'm feeling?" She nodded, and an image of his closing his eyes and shaking his head in exasperation appeared in her mind. "I should have known."

She clasped her hands together behind her back, turning away from him.

"Don't be mad. You'll like my surprise." She spun back to face him, peering at him curiously. "Are you mad?"

"No, I'm not mad."

"Do you know what my last words were?"

Zack cringed, not sure he wanted to know. Even his last words filled him with anguish and despair. He had loved Aerith once; quite a lot actually. When she had first arrived in the Lifestream, Zack had been so pained to see her that if he had any tears to shed, he certainly would have been in hysterics. She had told him about her death, about who had caused it, and Zack could only blame himself for not killing Sephiroth that day, when he had the chance. For not being stronger.

"I promised Cloud I'd return to him, once the battle against Sephiroth was over. Once the planet was safe."

"That's a silly thing to promise. No one goes back, Aerith."

"Well," she began, traipsing around him in circles. "I can't go back. The planet will never be safe. I need to stay here to take care of it."

She saw Zack nod in understanding. He saw her grin deviously.

"But, you can go back to Cloud, in my place."

Zack's mind felt as though it were drowning in emotions, far too many for him to disentangle, but he could detect excitement, uncertainty, and love.

There was only one other person he had loved more than Aerith. That had been Cloud, the innocent country boy he had met ten years ago on that mountain. Cloud was the main reason Zack had shut down, decided to rest his mind as much as possible. He couldn't bear to think of Cloud anymore. After seeing Cloud so near death when he had appeared in the Lifestream after being shot by the Remnants, Zack couldn't bear to think of Cloud anymore. The danger that Cloud has been in, the pain that he saw in those once innocent blue eyes had been too much to bear. While most would have expected comfort in seeing someone they loved so much after such a long time, Zack had hoped he would never see Cloud again. At least, not for a very long time. And because of that, Zack had done his best to spend his time in the Lifestream without a thought, resting his mind and ignoring as much as he could of his surroundings. Thinking of Cloud hurt too much.

"You're thinking about him," Aerith smiled happily, clapping her hands together. "I've finally figured out how to send people back. I've spent all my time up here trying."

Zack searched her face, looking for any sign that she was joking, toying with his emotions. He found a serious, determined look on her face that scared him, only slightly.

"You'll be of more use down there than up here. Cloud's been the Planet's hero for too long by himself. I think he needs a sidekick."

"A sidekick?!" Aerith giggled at his appearance, eyes wide, his fists clenched tightly. "Zack Fair is no sidekick. I'll just take Cloud's place. Be the Planet's new hero!"

"Sure," she replied coyly with a smile.

"Are you serious, Aerith? About me leaving?" She gave a curt nod, no longer looking at him. "When do I leave?"

"Soon," she answered seriously, her expression full of determination. "There are just a few things I have to do. Why don't you rest?"

Zack gave her a nod, and began to turn away.

"Zack?"

He halted his motions, turning back.

"I don't plan on seeing you again, after this. At least, not until you're an old man," She smiled tenderly. "I'll miss you. Be good, okay?"

He was surprised to find there were tears in her eyes. He had never once seen the determined and strong-willed woman cry.

"I'll be good," Zack assured her, hugging her tightly. "You know I love you, right?"

She managed her way out of his embrace, bringing her fingertips up to wipe the tears from her face.

"I know," she said with a small smile. "Now rest."

She felt Zack's presence leave her, his thoughts moving to a place where she couldn't reach them anymore, and she knew that he had gone. She walked back to the field of flowers, kneeling along the edge, she sat on her knees.

"What to do?" She voiced her thoughts into empty space as she tried to decide what to do. "I can't just drop him right in front of Cloud. Then he'd end up in the Lifestream from a heart attack."

Aerith sat for a few long moments, trying to decide what to do. She needed to bring Zack back to the Planet in a way that would make it easy for Cloud to find him. She knew that Zack would have to learn how to do everything over again, since he was essentially being reborn, so there was no way Zack would be able to make his way to Cloud. No, she needed to figure out a way to bring the two together without causing trauma on either part.

Aerith grinned in triumph when she had come up with an idea. She then sat silently and concentrated, doing her best to remember Zack as he was before he had passed on into the Lifestream. Once the image in her mind was clear, complete, she began to watch as his body materialized before her in the field of flowers.

She sat solemnly as the body continued to build itself. Once it was complete, she looked it over, bashfully avoid the private areas of his nude body. She nodded in contentment, and kneeled down close to it, pushing back the lock of hair that fell over his peaceful face. Her fingers traced the small scar on his forehead, where the bullet had entered. Such a gruesome death for such a wonderful man. It saddened her how cruel life could be, how cruel ShinRa had been, and why she had risked her own life to destroy it.

She moved away from the body, sitting back along the edges of the flowers and stared at them absently. Finally, she began the last of her work.

"Forgive me Cloud."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cloud had been sleeping quite peacefully for some time when all of a sudden his sleep was invaded by dreams.

"Cloud!" Zack shouted jovially, staring at him as he sat on a blanket spread across the sand. It was the vacation they had taken to Costa del Sol, a month after the 1st Class SOLDIER had admitted to one very startled blonde that he had a thing for him. "Let's go for a swim!"

Cloud agreed reluctantly, standing up from his spot on the beach and letting an overexcited Zack drag him into the water.

"I… don't really know how to swim," Cloud admitted bashfully, a flush of pink rising to his cheeks.

"No big deal!" Zack said enthusiastically. "I'll teach you!"

When they were waist deep in the water, Zack demonstrated a simple stroke. Cloud did his best to imitate it, doing well for a time, until he found himself in deeper waters. It was then that he began to panic, feeling himself sinking as he flailed madly in an attempt to keep himself afloat. Zack swam quickly, at his side in an instant, and wrapped his strong arms around Cloud.

"Are you all right?" Zack inquired worriedly.

Cloud nodded, turning bright red in the face at how close he was to Zack. Zack caught his embarrassment and smirked.

"Was all of this just a trick to get close to me?" Cloud turned even brighter red and Zack couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "You know that all you have to do is ask, Chocobo."

Cloud was about to protest Zack's annoying nickname for him, but was easily silenced when he felt Zack's soft lips meet his own. The kiss was soft at first, tender and loving, but it didn't take long until the intensity of the kiss changed, growing more passionate and needy by the second. Zack pulled away, breaking the kiss.

"Let's go," his voice was low and heavy with unspoken need.

Zack grabbed him by the hand and they ran barefooted across the sand. Cloud couldn't help but smile and laugh as he was dragged along by a desperate Zack. It took what only seemed like seconds before they reached the cozy shack on the beach. They tumbled through the door, clumsily falling on the bed, their kissing more passionate and feverish than before.

"Zack," his voice escaped him in a moan as he pleaded for more.

Cloud's senses were overcome by pleasure as Zack entered him painlessly. Their lovemaking was frantic; passionate, wild, and uninhibited. Cloud met each of Zack's thrusts as their bodies moved together in perfect synch. Cloud felt blissful, perfect, and as he looked into Zack's shining eyes, he felt loved.

"L-love you," Zack grunted out between thrusts, and those beautiful eyes of his bore into Cloud's, gleaming with sincerity.

"Love you too," Cloud whispered almost breathlessly.

It was only seconds later that they came together, reaching their climax with loud shouts of the other's name. Cloud's vision blurred with the intense pleasure, and he was gripping onto Zack tightly as though he would float away if he didn't. When Cloud could finally see clearly, the only thing he saw was Zack gazing at him tenderly, a goofy, lopsided grin on his face. Zack leaned in, placing a kiss on Cloud's nose.

Cloud couldn't help but feel safe and secure in that warm embrace. But in an instant, everything began to change.

The walls of the shack on the beach disappeared to reveal the canyon walls that had haunted Cloud's dreams for the last five years. A sea of ShinRa infantrymen stood behind them as they embraced, now fully clothed. Cloud's sharp intake of breath caused Zack to pull away in concern.

"Cloud?" Zack's puzzled expression was too much for Cloud to bear.

"Oh Gods, no…" Cloud spoke in dawning horror. The sound of the army behind them cocking their guns brought Cloud back to his senses. It was all he could do to scream in warning. "Zack!"

It was too late. Cloud's ears rang in pain as the bullets flew; piercing Zack more times than Cloud could count. Zack stumbled away, bleeding from innumerable holes. He was extremely hurt, and Cloud knew that there were enough bullet holes in enough vital places to kill him, even though he was SOLDIER 1st Class. But that didn't seem to be enough for the army behind them that continued to pump bullets into Zack. It seemed almost endless, Zack's suffering.

Finally, Zack's wounded body could withstand no more, and he fell away. As he fell backwards onto the harsh ground, he managed to extend his hand, pain and confusion in eyes that were losing their brightness.

"Cloud?"

Cloud tried to move, tried to grab that hand and stop him from falling, but he was frozen, completely unable to move. He was just as useless now as he had been all those years ago.

"Zack!" He yelled his name as though it would stop everything, stop his descent to the ground, stop what he knew was going to happen next.

It was futile, as Zack fell onto the hard ground with a loud thud, dust billowing up around him. Thunder cracked in the distance as the rain began to pour down on them. Cloud found himself looking down, watching the trail of Zack's crimson blood flowing until it pooled at his feet.

Things were different this time. Cloud tried to move, tried to make his way to Zack's side to comfort him as death took him, but he found that he was still frozen in this spot.

"Cloud?" Zack's weak voice called for him, and it sounded so far away. Cloud tried to lift his feet, to move just one inch, but he just couldn't.

"Zack!"

"Cloud!" Zack's voice held a tone of panic and fear that Cloud had never heard in his voice. Zack was fearless, and his voice never wavered, not until now. "Cloud! Don't leave me here! Please, help me! CLOUD!"

Cloud shot up in bed, sweating profusely and his heart wrenching in pain and fear. He looked around the room, finding the walls of the canyon gone and instead replaced by the wooden walls of the 7th Heaven. The night was silent and still as the rest of Edge slept, untroubled.

Five years. It had been five years, and while the nightmares had never gone away, they had decreased in frequency and intensity. But this dream was unlike any he had ever had before. This one felt painfully real, and Zack's words continued to repeat themselves over and over in his mind.

"Don't leave me here!"

And yet, that was exactly what Cloud had done. He had gathered the little bit of strength he had and left Zack's body there, alone. He couldn't save Zack, couldn't protect Zack, and worst of all, he couldn't stay with him.

Cloud was surprised to find himself crying, and he began to feel angry. So many years, so much pain… why had all of this happened to him? Zack's only dream had been to become a hero, and he had lost his life pursuing that dream; had died a hero. Now, as hero of the Planet, Cloud had lost so much. Were heroes meant to be punished? Meant to suffer in silence, alone?

Cloud's fists clenched, and he began to weep bitterly. His body was racked with sobs, painful and aching, as he did his best to be as quiet as possible so that he wouldn't wake Tifa and the kids.

It was then that Cloud decided that he needed to be alone. He reached into his closest, pulling out the SOLDIER uniform Zack had given him in his effort to save his life, and put it on. He grabbed the keys to Fenrir that sat on his bedside table and made his way out of the bar quietly, fortunate enough to not draw any attention to his escape. He climbed on his bike, already feeling comforted by the steady feel of it beneath him.

The night was cool and the wind blew pleasantly against his face as he rode away into the night, his destination the outskirts of Midgar.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aerith stood observing her work. The field of flowers that had grown on Zack's final resting place seemed like a comfortable enough place to leave his body while they both waited for Cloud to arrive. She watched Zack's steady breathing and smiled, satisfied. She had made Cloud's dream so intense and painful that she knew he'd end up heading for Zack's resting place. She sensed he was only a few minutes away, and would arrive soon.

"I hurt me to bring him here, to join me," Angeal's voice entered her mind, and she saw him striding toward her, looking down at Zack's form lying in the flowers.

"I'm just glad you were here," she admitted. "At least he didn't come to the Lifestream alone."

"I suppose," Angeal agreed, looking at the living Zack once more before turning away. "Hopefully, I'll see him again, when he's an old man like me."

Aerith smiled.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cloud parked Fenrir a few feet away from Zack's resting place, not wanting to disturb the peace and sanctity he always found there. The engine died with a low hum and the headlight went off, leaving Cloud in the darkness. He walked slowly, careful not to trip on anything in the dark, until he felt the squish of wet flowers beneath his boots.

"Zack, I…"

Cloud searched for words to try and describe how he was feeling. He missed him. He missed him so bad it hurt.

He let his gaze fall to the floor as he racked his brain for what to say. He took a few steps more, and then the sight of pale skin fell into his line of sight.

Cloud stepped back in surprise, fright overtaking him for a moment until he assessed the situation. The person lying in the flowers wasn't moving, didn't pose a threat to him. He examined the body beneath him.

The skin was pale and soft. His breathing was even. He was nude, Cloud noticed with embarrassment. It seemed as though someone had simply passed out amongst the flowers in his beloved Zack's final resting place, and Cloud began to anger.

Then he saw a mess of black hair covering the man's peaceful face. Cloud didn't know what compelled him to kneel down and brush the hair from his face, but once he did, Cloud's face drained of all his color and for a few long moments, he couldn't speak.

Finally, realization dawned on his and he was able to utter one single word.

"Zack?"

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Dun dun dun. Reviews, please?