Disclaimer: I do not own 'Sonny With A Chance' as much as I wished I did =]

If I did then Sonny & Chad would be together and happy!

A/N I wrote this story, or similar, for 'H20 Just Add Water' about Rikki. That one was called 'Control', and although this is similar and based on the same idea I will try to make it as different as I can.

Suffering in Silence

"I'm sorry Sonny, I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you...."

"Why not?" She looked up at him, confusion evident in her eyes as he looked away,

"I love you too much to watch you do this to yourself anymore. It hurts too much."

"I'm sorry Chad, I can stop. I can try. Please don't leave me, I don't know what to do without you..." Tears fell down her pale face as she looked at the boy she loved so much,

"I can't do this anymore, I love you more than you could ever imagine but I can't sit back and watch you do this to yourself anymore. It's too hard."

"No! Please," She reaches out to grab his hand as he turns away from her,

"Please, I can't do this anymore either. I will try to stop, please don't leave me."

"I have to, it's for your own good." He shook his head, walking away from her, turning back once to watch the girl he loved so much cry, her head down, her arms wrapped around herself.

He wanted nothing more than to go running back to her, but instead he turned back around and ran home. Taking one last look, one last look at the love of his life before giving up on her and leaving.

~ Six Months Earlier ~

Silent tears ran down her face as she looked at herself in the mirror, she wasn't supposed to be here. She was supposed to be rehearsing on stage right now, but instead she was standing in the mirror in the small bikini she was supposed to be wearing for the sketch and wondering what it would be like to look a little thinner.

She wasn't sure what had brought on the thoughts about what she looked like, she had never really thought about it before. Then again, she had never thought she had anything to worry about before.

Something had clicked in place for her earlier when Tawni was talking about weight and food, looking through a magazine and going on about who was thin and who wasn't. It had got to her, and she had no idea why. She remembered just looking at Tawni, rolling her eyes and laughing, just thinking about Chad and herself, how happy they were despite how much she weighed. She could never imagine him caring about the menial thing of weight, as she sat there watching Tawni poke and prod at her thin stomach in the mirror, frowning when she came across a little bit of fat.

It was all unusual to Sonny, nobody had really said anything about weight or food back home in Wisconsin. The sleepovers filled with junk food always screamed 'we don't care'. She sighed, maybe Hollywood had changed her more than she thought.

Sonny had thought she was always proud of her body, hence why she never joined in with Tawni when she scrutinized her own flaws. Her body was well looked after and nobody had really commented on her weight – something she wasn't sure was a good thing or a bad thing. She had never really thought of her weight before, but for some reason while she was sitting there, reading a magazine that Tawni had thrown at her in a huff, weight as all she could think about.

'Is she thinking about my weight and just throwing subtle hints my way? Does she wonder why I keep myself out of those conversations? Does she think I'm... fat?'

As quickly as the thoughts had come, Sonny pushed them aside again, telling herself to stop being stupid. But for some reason, that day the thoughts had carried on.

There was no underlying cause for Sonny's start to dieting, her friends had gone on about weight for ages before, especially Tawni. But it was never to such an extent that she would care so much, too much. Chad had never even mentioned weight to her, and when she had asked him about it he had replied with 'I love you for who you are, not what you look like.' Again, Sonny found herself thinking about whether it was a compliment or not. The thoughts kept coming, until one night she found herself sitting in front of the computer looking for quick weight loss techniques, she had spent half the night looking at them until she finally decided that she would cut out junk food – Tawni didn't eat junk food and her figure was amazing.

"Sonny, are you going to eat that?" Nico asked, Sonny shook her head and stood up, about to walk out of the studio cafeteria. It was exactly three weeks into her 'No junk food' diet and already it had become a lot more than that. She had found herself cutting out some of the things you needed for a healthy diet, so far she had cut out junk food, then when it felt like that wasn't good enough, when she wasn't losing enough weight, she cut out dairy, and then bread. She stuck to cutting out at least one thing a week, every week was a brand new week and that way things were easy, there was something to look forward to every Monday. This Monday she wanted to cut out pasta.

Tawni shook her head, biting her lip in unusual concern for the girl she hated to admit was her friend,

"You haven't really been eating a lot recently." She said hesitating as she looked Sonny up and down, noticing the sudden drop in weight, Sonny shrugged and sighed, wanting nothing more than to run away from them all,

"I am fine, I just don't feel too good." She flashed her famous Sonny smile and went to turn away, Tawni stood up as well and grabbed her by the arm,

"Are you sure you don't want to eat anything?"

"Yeah, maybe later." She smiled again, looking down at the floor, trying to hide the fear that she had been found out already,

"If you're sure then." The group got up, looking at her weirdly as they made their way over to the frozen yogurt machine, Sonny watched her friends as they whispered to each other. She stood there staring at them, wondering what they were talking about... Were they talking about her? Did they want her to be fat? Is that why they kept offering her food? Are they discussing how fat she is?

Sonny found herself suddenly scared about what they were talking about, maybe they wanted her to be fat again, make her fatter. Maybe they were onto her, and wanted to break all the control she had made for herself.

"Sonny are you okay?" Nico asked as they walked back over to the table, looking at her weirdly, Sonny sudden;y realized that she was shaking and quickly sat down.

"What's wrong?" Tawni ran up to her and sat down right next to her, her hand placed on top of Sonny's shoulder.

"Nothing." Sonny could only mutter, keeping her eyes glued to the ground,

"Nothings wrong, why would anything be wrong?"

"You're shaking, Are you cold?" Grady frowned and looked at the scene in front of him as he tucked into his frozen yogurt, Sonny shook her head, surprised at the tears that were running down her face. Tawni wrapped her arms around her shoulders, ignoring the stares that the 'So Random!' table was getting from others in the cafeteria. Tawni looked over at Nico and Grady, shrugging, none of them knew what was wrong with the crying girl, they didn't know what to say or do to help her.

Quickly Sonny composed herself, pulling away from Tawni and grinning at all of them,

"I am great thank you."

"No you're not, Sonny tell us whats going on." Zora looked up from her food, sensing that something was wrong with the fellow cast member and friend,

"It's nothing really, just hormones I think."

"You sure?" Sonny smiled the best she could and stood up again,

"Yeah, sometimes I get a little too emotional sorry."

"No, it's fine. I completely understand, I feel the same sometimes." Tawni winked at her as she looked down at the food in front of her,

"Now are you going to eat something?" Nico frowned as he pushed a frozen yogurt in front of Sonny, she smiled gratefully at him and sat back down, closing her eyes for a moment and trying to think of a way to get out of it.

She bit her lip in thought for a moment, 'You could always throw it up after.' Sonny smiled at the thought. She was still in control and that was all that mattered, as long as she was in control, nothing else mattered.