Backed into a Corner

Shizuka sighed in annoyance as Ryuuji flirted with a girl.

"This is getting ridiculous." She muttered to her brother, who was glaring at Ryuuji.

"Yeah. Why should he get all'a the girls when he's not even interested?"

"I mean, honestly. What does he think we'll do, judge him?"

"Yeah right. It's pretty damn obvious...and does he really think that Yuugi, or Ryou, or Honda, or whoever is a freaking homophobe?"

"Less probable than people starting to slice bread on their own."

"So, impossible."

"Right."

"Okay, he's driving me crazy. We have'ta do something!"

"I've got it all figured out, Jou."

"Hey, Ryuuji, dude! What's up?!"

"Wow, you're loud. And what the hell are you doing at my house? At seven o' clock at night?"

"Hey, can't I pay my respects to a friend?"

"You only pay your respects to people who die, Jounouchi. Last time I checked, I had a pulse."

"Oh, right. So, gotten any dates lately?"

"Nah, I haven't been up to it."

"Huh. Player. Flirting with girls all day."

"They love me, what can I say?"

"Mhm. So...planning on marrying anytime soon?"

"Huh? No, it's not le--nah, I don't wanna settle down. I'm a free soul, Jounouchi."

"Heh heh..."

"What's with the evil laugh?"

"Oh, nothing...nothing...bye!"

"Wait...what just happened?"

"So, did you get the information?"

"Yeah. We weren't wrong. Dude is definitely gay as gay can be. I asked him if he was gonna get married anytime soon..."

"He's seventeen, Jou. He didn't think that was sudden?"

"Obviously not. He's always been an airhead...anyways, he said it wasn't legal! Well, kind of. I mean, it was obvious."

"Perfect! I can confront him now!"

"Why can't I confront it."

"You know I love you very much, and that I think you're the greatest person in the world, but...really, Katsuya, you have about as much tact as a soggy pancake."

"Shizuka? Hey...what's up."

"I'm dating Honda, Ryuuji."

"Hmph. Don't see what he has that I don't."

"Heterosexuality."

"Huh? Wait...did you just imply...?"

"It's okay, we won't judge you, Ryuuji."

"I'm not gay..."

"Ryuuji. The long hair. The stylish clothes. The eyeliner. The disinterest in girls. The way you talk and act...the crossdressing... The strawberry scented shampoo. You have to tell me where you get that, by the way. It's very pleasant."

"You're stereotyping! And the crossdressing incident wasn't meant to happen!"

"You liked wearing the clothes. You said it wasn't much different than what you usually wore."

"It wasn't! And you are still stereotyping!"

"No! Those are only the superficial aspects! Jou told me that you said that marriage wasn't legal..."

"I tripped over my words."

"Gay marriage isn't legal in Japan quite yet, is it?"

"What, now I'm a walking cliche?!"

"No, Ryuuji, I assure you. It took me plenty of time to come to this conclusion...but...I'm sorry, you're just too gay to not be."

"Wow, thanks, former friend."

"Oh, don't get all huffy on me. It's true and you know it."

"It is not."

"It's okay. It's time to come out of the closet."

"What closet?! I don't see a closet around these parts!"

"Ryuuji. You have one right in the house. With at least fifty articles of clothing. And jewelry. And make up. That you lend to Anzu and I every once in a while."

"I'm not gay."

"Yes, you are."

"I am not!"

"Don't be childish! You are, and you might as well accept it!"

"I will not!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm not gay!"

"I'm going to nag you forever about this until you admit it. I'll get the psych book. I'll get the rest of Yuugi-tachi involved."

"Oh god no."

"Yes."

"You're manipulating me! You were supposed to be the sweet one!"

"I am. But you have no choice but to tell me. Everybody knows it anyway."

"I'm not gay."

"Right."

"Not gay!"

"Of course you aren't. Don't you want to stop living this lie? Don't you want to halt this delusion once an for all, don't you want to truly love? Don't you--"

"Fine! Fine! I admit it! I'm gay! Just don't go all melodramatic on me, I can't take it!"

"Finally, thanks Ryuuji!"

"No...problem...Shi...zu...ka."

"Is he screaming in there? Oh, well, I'll check up on him later...At least I got his confession on tape."