{I do not own any of these characters; they all belong to Stephenie Meyer}

Thank you Kyla713! Thank you Edwardscallalily! Thank you Knittingvamp7!

"The Peenaters Smut fic contest"

Penname: Lethologica86

Title of One-Shot: Still Crazy

Song used: "Still Crazy" by Paolo Nutini

Pairing: Jasper/Alice

POV: Jasper

Rating: NC-17/M

Word Count: 5,404

JPOV

"It's just not working out," She whispered so low I could hardly hear her. Unfortunately I had and my stomach turned to a point I felt I would lose the two bites I had of our dinner right then.

"What?!" I yelled, loud enough she shuttered and finally met my eyes. I could sense the people around me already turning their heads in our direction.

"Things are not going anywhere, Jasper. I hardly see you anymore," She pleaded with eyes already glistering with unshed tears. They only fueled my anger further and I threw my napkin on the table and stood up. I scoffed, reaching for my wallet and taking out the money I needed for the evening and threw it on the table. I turned to walk out.

"Jasper, please, talk to me!" She reached me at the exit and continued to stumble behind me as I stormed toward my car. I couldn't stop to face her, because despite my anger, I should have seen this coming a mile away. Starting your own business was hard enough on one person, but if that person happened to be in a relationship, starting a business was hard on them both.

I was gone for weeks at a time searching for the right business investors, then the right construction company, then the right chefs. It had been a year and I was not even half way done; the money was getting tighter by the day and the stress was piling up by the second. Unfortunately, our relationship was the one suffering all the grief. I couldn't even remember the last time we had made love. I shook my head at the realization.

I opened the door for her and continued toward the driver's side without waiting for her to be sitting inside completely. I was reversed and hitting the street in a matter of seconds, pushing way over the speed limit. I slowed down when I heard her tiny sobs, and felt my chest constrict. She was right and unfortunately there wasn't anything I could do about it. Perhaps it was better this way. She deserved better than this.

The tears didn't stop the entire way to her apartment and with each one I cursed myself more and more. This was it; this was the end of us and I couldn't understand why I had not done anything else to try to fix things sooner.

We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity and I ran a million words over in my head. None of them made sense. I couldn't think of the correct way to say I was sorry. I couldn't beg to be given another chance, mostly because I didn't deserve one. I had to get this restaurant going if it was the last thing I did. It was my life's dream. I knew I would make every promise imaginable today to her and I would have broken each one by the end of tomorrow.

Alice did not deserve to be second best. So, our almost two year relationship was unfortunately coming to an end because of my dream.

"Please..." Her voice broke me out of my daze and I finally turned to face her. Apparently every doubt and every struggle was written on my face, because Alice gasped and covered her mouth with her small hand. There was an excruciating silence again and then she nodded.

My chest seemed to crumble when she leaned over to place a soft kiss on my cheek and stepped out of my car, and out of my life.

_________

It had been two years, five months, one week and two days since I had last seen her, and when she walked in through the doors of my restaurant my knees threatened to give out on me. It was her, in all her glory, in a beautiful black dress that curved to her entire frame and brought out the beautiful paleness of her skin. She was radiant and glorious and I forgot for a second the reason why I ever let her walk out of my life. I held on to the edge of the bar and turned to face Bella, my maitre'd.

"Jasper, are you alright?" Bella's sweet voice was decorated with concern and I nodded, taking a sip of the water she placed in front of me.

"Bella, do you see that group that just walked in?" She turned to the door and then smiled, greeting them politely.

"Yes, they've been calling for weeks. I finally managed to accommodate them for today. I should go help them."

"Bella!" She stopped eyes wide with concern at the strained tone of my voice. "I want them to have the very best wine, the hottest food, the best seat in the restaurant, and I want everything on the house do you understand?" She nodded before I continued "Also, tell Angela to give her tables to the rest of the guys I want her to be their server. Tell her I will pay her double today if she does this one thing for me. You don't keep your eyes off that table!" I turned away when I heard Bella gasp.

"It's her isn't it?" I closed my eyes and nodded.

It wasn't just her; it was her and her entire family. I ran to my office like a coward and shut the door behind me, feeling like I was going to pass out from hyperventilating. A bit later there was a knock at the door and, knowing full well who it was, I opened it without hesitating. Bella walked in and grabbed my face. My skin was sweaty and probably pale. I couldn't find my balance, get my head straight. Alice's arrival was a sucker punch.

"What are you going to do?" She asked reaching over for a napkin to wipe down my forehead. I shook my head.

"I have no fucking idea!" I took the napkin from her hand and continue to wipe sweat off my face. "That's her entire family, Bells! It's her father, her mother, both of her brothers and the girlfriend of the oldest brother. I fucking know all of them and they know me!" I shook my head and fisted my fingers in my hair; I could already feel the splitting headache coming. "Is everything ready? Did you talk to everyone?"

"Yes, of course. The wine is already on its way. Jasper, you need to relax! Didn't they know this was your restaurant?" I shook my head and sat on my chair resting my head back.

"Alice never knew details. I refused to tell her where the construction had started because I wanted to wait till it was done to be able to show her! She didn't even know the name of the damn restaurant!" I sighed again and closed my eyes tightly as I rubbed my face. "What am I going to do?! I can't face her, Bella. I never thought I'd see her again."

"Get a grip! You have built the best dam Italian restaurant on the tri-state area! You're about to be featured in Gourmet magazine and you have celebrities here on a regular basis. You have every right to be proud of yourself and show her that your time didn't go to waste," She said firmly, fixing the collar of my shirt and adjusted my hair a bit. "Now, I will tell you when they are almost done with their dinner and you will put yourself together and go greet them the way you greet any other important costumer. You will smile and tell them how you are not letting them pay for a cent of that food! Are there any questions?"

I held onto her wrist and looked into her big brown eyes, swallowing hard. I had met Bella months after the break up with Alice. She was still in school doing her graduate degree in hospitality management. She was there from the very beginning of the restaurant and knew enough to become not only my best friend, but my maitre'd.

"Bella, I think I still love her," I whispered and closed my eyes. I was still at loss for words, still not knowing the right thing to say to apologize for not putting her first and letting my dream consume me more than what I felt for her.

"Jasper, I know you still do, but I have to go back out there. I'll come to check on you in a bit." She leaned down to kiss my forehead and turned for the door.

________

Bella informed me that they were celebrating Emmet and Rosalie's engagement. I smiled, remembering how even if they had only been dating for months back then, Alice had confided in me that she knew that Rosalie was the one for Emmett. I finished adjusting the light blue tie and my black suit jacket and ran my fingers through my hair one more time, making a mental note that it was getting too long and I should have it cut soon.

It was time to face the music. My hands shook and my heart threatened to break through my ribs.

I stood with the table in perfect view for some time, trying to put the thoughts together in my head. Alice's back was to me; it was easier this way. Her pixie cut was still in place, spiking at the end, glistening in the soft light. No one could ever wear that haircut like Alice. No one could ever look as beautiful as her with it. My steps were long and insecure and I counted each one. They had been so focused in their conversations and laughing they didn't notice me arriving until I placed my hands on both Emmett and Rosalie's shoulders. I heard a small gasp coming from my right and instantly knew she had seen me. I didn't dare look over. I was trying hard to control the shaking I felt in my knees.

"Congratulations, you guys!" I surprised even myself with how optimistic and calm my voice sounded.

"Jasper! My man!" Emmett's booming voice was unforgettable and the air left my lungs when he turned to hug me, patting my back hard. He was always such an open and friendly guy, his reaction didn't really surprise me.

"How are you doing, son?" I turned to find Carlisle beside me with a smile, extending his hand which I shook proudly. Carlisle was like a father to me and I reached to bring him in for a hug, also patting his back firmly. I realized that I had missed him over the years as well.

"I'm very good, thank you for asking. How is everyone's meal? Anything else that I can get for you guys?" I looked around the table, noticing for the first time Edward's murderous stare. I had completely forgotten how overprotective he always was of Alice and he was most likely the first person she had contacted after our break up. I lowered my head and looked back to Esme, still avoiding Alice's gaze completely.

"Jasper, this is your restaurant?!" Esme asked her hand covering her mouth a gesture that reminded me so much of Alice. I nodded. "That is amazing! I have been hearing the best reviews of it for such a long time, but we hadn't been able to get a reservation until now. I even heard that people from Gourmet magazine were here a couple of days ago and there will be have a big article about this place! I never would have thought!" I laughed; I had forgotten how upper class the Cullen's were. I had never even thought of putting them in the priority list.

"Everything was absolutely exquisite!" Rosalie added, forcing my gaze dangerously close to Alice. I smiled.

"Yes, I just signed the papers today and they are coming next week for the pictures! I was very honored. Thank you all so very much for the kind words. I know everyone is celebrating and it's been so long since I've seen everyone, I don't want you to worry for a second about the check ok? It's all on the house," I explained tapping my hand on Emmett's shoulder.

"Oh no, son. Please, we ordered very expensive wine. I couldn't..." Carlisle spoke, but I shook my head immediately.

"Please, you all are family to me. Consider it my gift for Emmett and Rosalie!"

I heard Edward soft chuckle and looked over to find him shaking his head and mumbling under his breath. Then I made the mistake of looking over to the person sitting next to him and my entire world came crumbling on me. Her beautiful light brown eyes met mine, time stopped and everything around us went quiet. There was only her and me at that very moment. I could remember everything; every touch, every whisper, every "I love you." I could remember the scent of her hair and how warm and small she was in my arms. I now could vividly remember the last time I made love to her and how I had promised her I was going to make things work no matter what. Oh my god what had I done?

"Thank you, man! I really appreciate this. It's so good to see you!" Emmett took me out of my trance. I felt lightheaded and queasy and I knew if I didn't sit down I was going to pass out. The fact I skipped lunch wasn't helping. I nodded and excused myself.

Reaching my office I closed the door, sat in my chair, and buried my face into my hands. Alice, my beautiful, fragile, Alice. It all dawned on me so quick it felt like a whiplash. She hadn't wanted things to end; she wanted me to wake up, to realize how bad things were. She wanted me to fight for her. She wanted me to keep my damn promise!

"Alice..." I whispered and for the first time in years I actually felt my eyes water and a lump form in my throat.

________

"Are you sure?" Bella asked for the eighth time tonight. Everyone had left and I was finishing closing up. It was almost one-thirty in the morning.

"Yes, I'm fine, now go home!" I insisted. She smiled, kissing my forehead one last time. I was far from fine, but I needed the quiet and emptiness. I needed to drown my sorrows in a nice bottle of wine, and if I had to stay in the restaurant over night to do it, I would.

"Jasper..." I heard her voice again and rolled my eyes.

"Bella, I really am fine. Nothing some good wine and some well deserved self pity can't cure." I turned and the air left my lungs again. There, standing next to Bella, was Alice.

"Goodnight," Bella said. She winked and walked out, turning the light off at the entrance and locking the front door behind her, leaving Alice and me all alone in the dimly lit restaurant.

The silence was deafening and the distance between us was maddening. She was looking around, running her fingers over one of the chairs and studying the details of the mantels. They were expensive and imported from Italy and I knew that she must have known that; no one knew fabric better than Alice.

"Italy, huh?" She asked. Her voice echoed in my head, a sweet melody to my ears. She sounded just how I imagined angels sounded. I nodded.

"It's very nice. Everything is absolutely breath taking." She paused and looked up at me. I gasped, holding on the door frame of my office for support. Every time our eyes met it was always this same feeling, like everything else disappeared and there was nothing else, but her presence; it was overwhelming. How did I ever forget all these things? "Thank you for tonight. It was very nice of you, even after..."

"Don't mention it. It was the least I could do," I interrupted her. I wanted no mention of what we use to be.

"I had no idea that..."

"Would you like some wine? I could also give you a tour if you'd like," I interrupted her again, knowing where her words were heading. I wouldn't have any of it. I had never been this nervous before, but when I saw her nod slowly I couldn't help but let a smile invade my lips. "Follow me."

I opened the wine and let it breathe a little before pouring two glasses and handing her one as I started the tour of the restaurant. I pointed out different things, explaining where they were imported from and the stories behind certain things. She drank her wine quietly, paying attention to everything I showed her. I was so proud of my restaurant, so proud of myself, and being able to share this with her pleased me more than I ever thought possible. We reached the waiting area and I stopped suddenly, watching her walk toward the sofa to run her finger over the fabric again. I watched her in awe the way she would take in the colors and her appreciation for the different textures, and when the soft light hit her smile I lost the remainder of my composure.

"Alice..." My voice was like humming in the wind, but loud enough to catch her attention. She turned around, our eyes meeting and her expression instantly turning to recognition. "I don't... I can't... You have to believe me when I tell you I never meant for things to turn the way that they did." I stopped to rub my face again and releasing the breath I didn't know I had been holding all this time. I didn't meet her eyes; instead, I looked down at the shiny marble floor and continued with my confession. "There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of you and I never thought I'd see you again, but now that I have, I don't think I will be able to let you leave without telling you that I'm still crazy for you." The words were out before I could stop them. I sighed, dropping my shoulders in absolute defeat. There was nothing left in me anymore. Before, it was about what I needed to gain; now it was about who I had lost. I would take it all back, the restaurant, the time apart, if I could just to have her back.

In seconds my arms were wrapped around her small frame and my upper body was pulled down so I could reach her lips. I sighed once her mouth parted to let me access her tongue and I moaned when I tasted her. My entire body felt like it was in flames and my mind wondered briefly how I had lived all this time without this, without her.

Her kisses were rough and desperate and her tiny hands were fisted in my hair, holding me against her, and when I reached my hands to cup her cheeks I felt the moisture and knew there would be no way I'd be able to let her go again. Still, with every part of my body protesting, I pulled away. Her small whimper of discontent made me smile. I stared into her eyes, my eyes travelling over the soft contours of her face; I had never forgotten. I continued laying kisses over her skin, down her neck, then to her shoulders. Her smell alone was more intoxicating than the expensive wine we'd been sipping.

Remembering one of her sweet spots, I nibbled under her ear and was rewarded with a gasp followed by a soft moan and the bucking of her hips against me, and when my name escaped her lips, my knees almost buckled. I was done for; she would be the death of me.

Before reconsidering, I was gently walking forward, causing her to walk backwards toward the couch. Upon reaching it, she turned us around forcing me to sit, much to my surprise. I groaned when she straddled my lap and crashed her lips with mine in a desperate hurry. I was painfully hard and feeling the warmth of her center against me caused me to buck my hips trying to gain more friction. It had been so long since I touched her; it felt like the first time all over again. I rubbed my palms up her thighs, under her dress, over the fabric of her panties and into her hips, our mouths never parting. My hands continued to her back and reached her bottom where I squeezed and pushed so she could rub against me more. We both moaned at the sensation.

Alice began unbuttoning my shirt, kissing newly skin exposed, closing my eyes to the feeling of her tongue circling my navel. The unblocking of my belt brought me back to the moment and I watched as she freed my painful erection from my underwear. The feeling shifted and I worried that I wasn't worthy of this, that it should be me on my knees worshiping her and showing her how sorry I truly was. My thoughts were quickly interrupted and my head snapped back again when I was seated inside her mouth, a loud animalistic groan escaping me. This is what Alice always did to me; she made me lose my composure.

She bobbed her head gently, her eyes closed and her moans vibrating through my shaft. When her hands reached down to cup my balls I had to pull away. It had been too long and Alice was too talented for her own good. Before she could protest, I had her lying on the couch with her hands pinned above her and her mouth captured in mine.

"My turn," I whispered against her jaw and she moaned and arched her back. I smiled inwardly, remembering the countless time Alice had complimented me on my skills and I promised myself I'd live true to the memory.

I lifted her dress and pressed my nose against the underside of her ribs, causing her to shiver. Her smell made my own body shiver and I continued to lift her dress till it was completely off her. I stood back a second to take in the matching set of lacy underwear she wore and I wanted to rip it off of her. The contrast it made with the paleness of her skin made her look as if she was glowing. I pulled back the material that held one of her breasts and took her nipple into my mouth; she tasted even better than I could remember and I always tried to remember. Once she arched her back I took the chance to loosen her bra and quickly discard it onto the floor.

I paid so much attention to her skin, taking my time with each nipple, twisting them against my fingers until my name spilled from her mouth. I needed to hear it again and again; I needed to have her scream it in complete abandon.

I continued my descent and proceeded to rest my lips against the fabric over her folds. She was so warm and smelled like bliss and I moaned against her, holding her hips to push her closer toward me I began teasing her with my tongue over her panties.

"Jasper..." She begged and I couldn't possibly deny her. I removed the delicate fabric and buried my tongue in her folds. She was so wet it surprised me, but only gave fuel to the fire that was threatening to burn me alive. I began to use my fingers, inserting one and then another, my tongue never leaving her clit. She was bucking her hips furiously now and I knew she was close. "Oh god, Jazz... I'm gonna cum," She declared and I arched my fingers and sucked harder and it wasn't long till she was clenching around me and shaking in her orgasm. She didn't say my name, however, and it disappointed me.

I let her ride out her orgasm and gently lifted her so she was straddling me again. I managed to wiggle myself out of my pants and shirt. I pressed my bare chest against her and sighed. I had missed this, the warmth and the electricity it caused within me. My chest swelled when she rested her head against my shoulder to wait for her heart to slow down. I could feel it beating against me.

Once her heart had calmed down she began to suck on my bottom lip, causing me to part my mouth to welcome her tongue. The fact that she was tasting herself on me didn't go unnoticed and it only made me harder.

"I can't tell you how much I've missed you," I whispered, laying kisses on her jaw. She moaned softly in understanding. "How many times I thought of you and wanted to go searching for you again. I thought maybe you had moved on and I had no business taking that from you." My kisses were again on her bare shoulders. "When you walked into my restaurant I thought time had stopped. You always made time stop for me, Alice. You made everything else disappear around you. It's always been you." The unmistakable splash of a tear landed against my lips and my stomach turned. I looked up to find her cheeks stained and I cursed myself a million times for it, trying to kiss the tears away. "No more tears. That's the last memory I had of you. I want to change that, please..." She nodded at my plea.

"I need you inside me, Jasper," She demanded in a whisper and in one swift movement I lifted her and lowered her on me. Our eyes locked and mouths parted and we both moaned in unison. My thighs shook and my fingers dug into her hips. She was so tight against me, burning hot and slick and I thought I'd release at that very moment. But she didn't move and I didn't either and we both savored the moment of being one, as it always should have been.

I groaned and pressed my forehead on her shoulder once she began to move on me. Our mouths met again, but our kisses were interrupted with moans and occasional curse words. I remembered that it was always this intense, this magnificent, this blissful and I knew she could remember as well. She was close; I could feel her walls closing over me and I reached my hand between us to urge her on. I made circles over her bundle of nerves and in seconds she was riding her second orgasm of the night. Still, she didn't scream my name and I was again disappointed. I needed it, I needed to hear her scream my name before the night was over. I needed it like a drug addict needed a fix.

Alice had always been so small and I always could pick her up without any real effort. So once she had composed herself enough, I disconnected our bodies and stood. I smiled when I heard her whine at the separation, but I position her on her knees with palms resting on the backrest of the couch. She moaned in anticipation in the new position.

I entered her in one quick movement and again stopped to enjoy the feel of being engulfed by her. She rested her head on the couch and arched her back, pushing her closer to me. I laid my mouth over her shoulder and held her hips firmly as I began to rock back and forth, and before I knew it, I was bucking against her sharply. Our bodies released a loud noise every time our skin would meet. Alice's moans echoed in the air; they became louder and her fingers were digging at the white fabric of the couch. I leaned forward and pressed my mouth against her shoulder.

"I need you to cum hard for me, Alice," I whispered, never breaking my movements. "I need you to cum all over me and scream my name when you cum. I need you to help me remember how good I made you feel," I continued and she cursed under her breath, her forehead glistening with sweat. "Do you remember, Alice, do you remember how good this was? How hard I use to make you cum?" She whimpered and nodded. "God, you feel so fucking good."

"Yes! Jasper, please, harder," She screamed, groaning as I increased my movements. I was getting close and I needed her to come down with me. "It's never been this good. No one else does this to me. Jasper, please don't stop. Don't ever fucking stop." I grunted loudly and sunk my teeth onto the back of her neck. That was all that it took. Alice clenched around me.

"Who's making you cum, Alice? Tell me who's buried inside you?" I spoke harshly, holding back my orgasm until I heard the name.

"Jasper!" I released inside her with such force that I had to hold on the couch for support, my entire body shaking and my head spinning. The waves of my orgasm overtook me and the fire that was once burning was now being sedated by a tsunami of bliss.

We laid on the couch, completely spent, our breathing still erratic and our bodies covered in sweat. She was resting against my chest, eyes closed and a smile over her lips. This was my heaven; there was no doubt about it. I looked over to her shoulder and noticed the unmistakable bite marks. Shit, I always hated doing that, but still I laughed softly at it and ran my palm over the spot.

"What?" She turned her head to look up at me when she heard my chuckling. I smiled and kissed her forehead.

"I left bite marks. I always hated doing that, you remember..." I was interrupted when she got up in a hurry, picking up her dress from the floor and covering herself with it as she ran to the nearest mirror to look at her back.

"Oh shit! Oh god, I hope that goes away soon," She cursed, trying to rub the mark away. I was so confused as I sat on the couch to watch her.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked picking up my underwear and pants off from the floor. I stopped when she turned around to me with tears again invading her eyes.

"I'm fucking engaged, Jasper" The words hit me like a cannonball, knocking me straight of my cloud.

"What? No... no you're not, you don't have a ring, you didn't come to dinner with anyone, you're... no, you're not," I argued and stood, ignoring my state of undress.

"My ring is being sized. He's in France traveling this week, so he couldn't come to dinner." She looked down, bringing her hand to her face to wipe the tears away. I stared, dumbstruck and empty, feeling like I was losing her all over again, I sat down and buried my face in my hands. This can't possibly be happening.

"Jasper..."

"I don't fucking care!" I shouted and stated the matter of fact. "I don't give a shit if you're engaged; I am not letting you go again, Alice. I'm not letting that happen." I stood and began to put my pants on, the rage building slowly.

"It's not that easy..." She confessed, eyes fixed on the floor.

"Yes, it is! You belong with me, you've always belonged with me!" I screamed closing the distance between us and holding her in my arms. I stroked her cheek and looked deep into her eyes. "I love you, Alice. I never for a moment stopped loving you."

A soft little sob escaped her and she tangled her arms around my neck to bring me in for a kiss. I met her halfway. I poured my soul into that moment and promised to myself she'll be mine again. This time, I wasn't going to break my promise.

No more breaking promises.