Chapter 1: Taking Hold

I remember the day Sokka went fishing in the canoe—I remember it like it was yesterday. I was already disposed to be angry at him because I had to wash his socks that day. Sokka usually helped where he could, but most of the time he just wasn't good enough for me. He was so distracted thinking about Dad and fighting wars and defending things—but that was not what he should be doing. He should have been doing what I told him: practical chores!

When he said he was going fishing, I knew I must come along to make sure he caught something. He seemed to get the wrong idea about why I was coming, and started giving me advice! Of all the nerve!

"Watch and learn, Katara! This is how you catch a fish," Sokka said with a proud look on his expressive face.

I had been water bending and was already a step ahead of him. "But Sokka, I caught one," I told him in frustration. He wouldn't listen. Why is he always so resistant? I held the fish in its little water bubble above my idiot brother's head. He had to see it now!

The fish was under my control, and it made me feel empowered. Rapt in these pleasant thoughts, I took my concentration away from the water bending. This resulted in the soaking of my brother's coat. Of course he got angry, but we forgot about it when the ice started breaking and we had to frantically steer the canoe. I told Sokka which way to go, but did he listen? Of course not! Our boat was crushed and we almost were too.

A sexist remark from my brother threw me over the edge. How and why did he keep resisting me? Couldn't he see that I was always right? I yelled at him hatefully, and that's when it happened…I broke open the iceberg.

I had to rescue the child imprisoned there. Rescuing people gives me my own sort of high, I guess. Sokka was worried about me, but I could tell he was curious. A blast of icy air and smoke issued from the crack I created in the iceberg. The force sent me stumbling backward, but I fell into Sokka's arms. He grasped his stupid spear, his jaw was hard-set…Sokka was always ready to catch me.

I can look back and remember feeling a little angry when he caught me—back then, I didn't even know what I was becoming. Now I see that just that little experience was extremely characteristic of our relationship. I always charged into things trying to save everybody. Although he advised against it, Sokka respected my decision. Then, when the pressure got too much and I was tossed around feeling as inferior as a leaf in the wind, Sokka was there to pick up my broken, stubborn pieces.

Aang and I became fast friends. I knew right away that he was too passive and childish to argue with anything I said, and…I kind of liked that. Sokka was suspicious and skeptical, but he only wanted the best for me and my tribe.

When the Fire Nation came with all their cursed boats and I saw Zuko for the first time—I admit I was scared. Why shouldn't I be? I had come into my mother's tent only moments after she was murdered by the Fire Nation Invaders. When I close my eyes, I can still see her blood on the floor. Now here they were again, the scum! Truth be told, I probably could have done a better job fighting than Sokka. But I let him face the threat alone…better me than him, I thought.

Thank goodness Aang came to the rescue. I knew he would come back…after all, I purposely let him see my weakness, my tribe's depravity, in order to make him be our hero. I knew he couldn't resist coming back once he'd seen us on our knees.

I was very surprised and worried when Zuko took Aang away. I helped Grangran clean up the broken tents but my mind wasn't there. I wanted to go after Aang. It didn't occur to me that he was much more powerful than me; I thought he drastically needed my help. Even if he didn't need me to rescue him, I told myself, he needed a friend.

I knew it was crazy to go after Aang alone. Truth is, I was scared and wanted somebody who could take the hits for me when I needed it. Sokka was the most obvious choice. He took everybody's hits naturally. When I started yelling at him to convince him, I was greatly surprised that he already had the canoe ready! Some part of me told me not to appreciate it, because I could handle myself and I didn't need Sokka's brotherly gestures. But some other part of me—the part that slowly diminished as my powers grew—was deeply, sincerely grateful. I threw my arms around Sokka and said thank you.

When Grangran came to see us off, her words to me made my heart swell with pride. I had awakened Grangran's hope and she called me brave! That did wonders for me since I love affirmation. Grangran's only words to Sokka were, "Be nice to your sister." Well, I just hoped Sokka takes that advice. He shouldn't be telling me what to do.

I pointed out that the canoe really wouldn't be useful so we rode on Appa. Despite Sokka's complaints, he was the one who remembered the words "Yip yip," to get Appa going. And he showed even greater joy than my own when the words worked.

Rescuing Aang was the most amazing thing I had ever been through up to that point. Zuko was out of control, and things that are out of control scare me badly. I tried to use water bending to fight. We escaped on Appa, leaving Zuko furious and humiliated. That and being with Aang made me feel quite comfortable.

I knew at once that Sokka would try to assume control of the group. Big oaf. Of course Aang was far more worthy of leadership. As for me, I wasn't going to be in the front giving orders. I preferred getting some nice hold on them from behind the scenes. Once I found this hold, it would be easy to ensure my group's safety.

I know I sound a little conniving. But I thought I was doing the best thing for me. I thought I was doing the best thing for Aang and Sokka too, since I thoroughly believed that I could take better care of them than they themselves.