The final chapter! Though it's an epilogue really. And fashioned after the epilogue of the final Harry Potter book. Enjoy.

19 Years Later…

James T. Kirk, Captain Grand Sexyass Lord Admiral Mancandy of the Enterprise (he had been promoted through the years) smiled at his daughter Amanda Winona Nyota Kermit the Frog Wulfric Motzart George The Little Mermaid McBones Spirk. She had enlisted and was finally heading off to Starfleet.

"Are you sure you have enough red pants?" her father asked her. Jim was proud of his daughter's desire to break gender roles and norms and not wear a skirt, and very happy that his daughter had interests beyond looking hot for guys. Naturally, any replicator baby produced by him and Spock was bound to be crazy hot. And this was a proven fact. They had 17.

"Yes Dad. You made me repack 8 times."

At this time, Spock came forward with the other 16 children to wave Amanda Winona Nyota Kermit the Frog Wulfric Motzart George The Little Mermaid McBones Spirk goodbye.

"Allison, Dave, Popcorn, Hot-Pocket, Jeremy, Allan, Chris Pine, Nicolas, Spock Jr., Bacardi, #22, J.J. Abrams, Ginny, Bobby, Stacey, Pharaoh," Spock called the children forward one by one, "Say goodbye to you sister."

Spock made for quite an interesting sight, standing several feet over his many children. He and Kirk had waited many years to have more children after their first. So, while Amanda Winona Nyota Kermit the Frog Wulfric Motzart George The Little Mermaid McBones Spirk was 19 and ready to go to Starfleet, the rest of the children were 5 years old. Yes, one day Spock and Kirk got kinda bored and made 16 kids in one go.

While the children had enjoyed the benefits of their parents' good looks, they were also mildly cursed by their very different temperaments. One minute they would be calm with a cool logic, and the next they would be running around wildly, screaming, and taking off clothing. Guess which side comes from which dad.

The children were in a 'Kirk' mood so Spock had to do his best to herd the insane brood over to his husband. Thankfully, they had gotten a few sheep dogs to help with the herding. It was a hot mess of children and dogs, but Spock handled it with his usual cool logic.

However, not everyone around could handle the brood of mini-Kirks. Another person sending someone off to Starfleet turned around to face the horde.

"Hey! Could you control your children please?!?!?!"

Spock never did appreciate anyone making comments about his parenting.

Spock stared at the offending person for a few moments before speaking in a logical tone.

"Listen, you cock-bag, douche monkey. You mind your own fucking business you small-minded ass-ramming cunt-licker, who doesn't have the mental capacity of a shit-eating maggot pig fuck." The man turned pale, shielded his child's ears and turned in a huff.

Spock's rant turned the children into 'Spock' mode. "Come my muffin cuddles!" he told them.

Spock joined up with the rest of his family to say his goodbyes to his eldest child.

Kirk and Spock weren't the only parents sending kids of to Starfleet.

Leonard McCoy and Nyota Uhura also had a child ready to attend the Starfleet academy.

Bones looked at his son, and took in a breath to impart his words of wisdom.

"Now, Pervertus, do you remember what I told you about the all the hidden doors and secret windows at the academy?" Pervertus nodded. "Good. They come in handy." Uhura beamed. They had raised their son so well. Pervertus was also a replicator baby. Uhura didn't want to ruin her figure with stretch marks, so they decided a replicator baby would be the best solution. To this day, no one will question how exactly this was done…maybe they used a hard boiled egg or something.

The three of them met up with the horde surrounding Kirk and Spock. Pervertus did a peripheral glance at Amanda Winona Nyota Kermit the Frog Wulfric Motzart George The Little Mermaid McBones Spirk. He learned so much from watching the classic earth film 40 Year Old Virgin. He would definitely have to find the secret door that led to her room.

As Pervertus was checking out Amanda Winona Nyota Kermit the Frog Wulfric Motzart George The Little Mermaid McBones Spirk, Sulu and Chekov were leading their own precious daughter to the transport.

Nightly Sukov was the sweetest little girl this side of the Delta Quadrant.

Unlike Spirk and McHura, though, Sulu and Chekov didn't resort to things like replicator babies. Instead, they journeyed to the far reaches of space to meet up with the Magic Jerfon Fortune Cookie. Once there, they sprinkled the cookie with a bottle of '34 Smirnoff and recited "Eye of the Tiger" once in Japanese and once in Russian.

When the Magic Jerfon Fortune Cookie opened, there was a beautiful, little girl. The two were both so happy that they went into a closet and celebrated for three weeks. Then they remembered to pick up their daughter, name her Nightly, and continue on with their lives.

Nightly, however, loved gender roles. In fact, she really loved objectifying herself. Also, Bella Swan was her role model. So this is why she was heading off to Starfleet in a skin-tight, red tube top and a matching red skirt that barely covered her ass.

"You're going to be amazing, sweetie!" Chekov said, clapping his hands together wildly.

Nightly rolled her eyes and started applying another coat of Academy red lip stick. "Duh. I am amazing."

Sulu blinked back tears. "Message us as often as you can, okay?"

"Yeah, okay, sure," Nightly said, batting her eyelashes at Pervertus and Amanda Winona Nyota Kermit the Frog Wulfric Motzart George The Little Mermaid McBones Spirk. While she might subscribe to gender roles, Nightly Sukov liked to sample men, women, and aliens.

Pervertus had been trying to win over Amanda Winona Nyota Kermit the Frog Wulfric Motzart George The Little Mermaid McBones Spirk. He made a show of walking over with a confident swagger and a sexy smirk on his face.

In reality, he just looked incredibly drunk. Some might go so far as to say he looked crunk.

Amanda Winona Nyota Kermit the Frog Wulfric Motzart George The Little Mermaid McBones Spirk only raised her eyebrow at the deranged peacock-like display.

"Hey, baby," he said "I got you a gift"

He was met with a look of suspicion.

He pulled a long black braid of hair out of his bag.

"What the fuck is that?" she asked logically.

"It's a braid made of the hair I've been collecting from you!"

"That's really fucked up! How the hell did you get my hair?"

"Aw, I knew you'd love it!" he cried going in to hug her. He was pushed back.

"See, it even has a clip, so it's wearable!" Pervertus continued.

"There is no fucking way in hell I would ever wear that," Amanda Winona Nyota Kermit the Frog Wulfric Motzart George The Little Mermaid McBones Spirk reasoned with a cool logic.

"Uh….it's not for you to wear. I'm gonna wear it. In my pants," he answered.

He was met with a look of horror.

"Where the fuck are you going to clip it??"

Before Pervertus could answer, Spock and Kirk came over to investigate the scene.

"Holy fucking star-fuck in hell, are you hitting on my daughter?" Spock asked the young man in a dignified tone of neutral logic.

"Because if you are, let me tell you what will happen. I will cut off your dick with all of the rage and hatred that will manifest into a laser-beam that will shoot out of my right eye. I will then take that dick and turn tie it to a chain so you can wear it around your neck as a sign of your perverted shame, you pencil dicked, goat fucker."

Spock's eldest daughter finished up for him.

"And if that doesn't work, I'll take your penis necklace of shame and beat the shit out of your fucking face with it," she offered with a cool logic.

Spock looked around for his husband to get it on the conversation, but melted a little to find his beloved was wrestling playfully with their band of children. Or were they overtaking him in a vicious coup? Spock wasn't sure, but either way the scene warmed his heart.

Uhura and Bones came over to see what the commotion was all about. Nightly also saw her chance to swoop in and steal Pervertus from Amanda Winona Nyota Kermit the Frog Wulfric Motzart George The Little Mermaid McBones Spirk. She had been wanting a brooding, controlling, boyfriend for the longest time!

Sulu looked over at one of the many televisions they had playing in the waiting area. Luke Skywalker was on, hosting his very own cooking/gossip show. Dressed in bright pink hot pants and tight tank that read "Sexy Bi-atch" in glitter, Luke was currently demonstrating how to make Chicken Noodle Pistachio Pound Cake.

Sulu sighed. Seeing Luke on TV always reminded him of his once beloved Han. While Sulu was sickeningly happy with Chekov, he always wondered what Han was up to. He had not been seen since the day the slave girls beat him within an inch of his life.

Little did Sulu know that Han had been saved by none other than Gaila, who, sick of the crazy ass shit that went on, deserted Starfleet to join Han in his fandom. Gaila was at first upset to learn Han was already with someone and almost came back. But then she remembered Uhura and Bones had created a secret door into her room. That was too much to handle. So she agreed to a threesome.

Sulu was distracted from his musings when the Kirk/Spock horde overtook his beloved Chekov. He began pulling them off by their shirts. Almost like kittens.

At this point, Allison, Dave, Jeremy, Allan, Nicolas, Ginny, Bobby and Stacey all went into 'Spock' mode, while Popcorn, Hot-Pocket, Chris Pine, Spock Jr., Bacardi, #22, J.J. Abrams, Pharaoh went into 'Kirk' mode. This provided a welcome distraction to get Chekov out, as all the 'Kirks' began to torment the 'Spocks.' Sulu pulled Chekov into his arms, all thoughts of Han erased from his mind.

Just as all the bickering and fighting reached a crescendo, Scotty yelled loud enough to silence everyone in the hangar.

"Alright, everyone, the shuttle is ready to go, so if you're goin' come aboard!"

Scotty opened his mouth to speak once more but was silenced when a semi-small rock hit him square between the eyes. The fatal shot came from the slingshot of Bacardi. Normally such a blow would be a minor annoyance, but the girl's Vulcan strength rendered her aim deadly.

Hugs and kisses were given and all the young cadets walked over Scotty's dead body to board the shuttle.

Kirk, Spock, Bones, Uhura, Chekov and Sulu watched the shuttle take off with tears in their eyes. Finally, their kids were gone and they could all go back to having wild sex on their kitchen tables. Well, Spock and Kirk still had their large amount of children but this had led to a very lucrative television deal. They would be the stars of their very own reality show, "Kirk and Spock plus a Flock."

All was well.

THE END!!

Wow, we're done kids! And it took a crazy long time to finish, but it's done. If I left any character out umm well they're living happily ever after sipping cocktails. And fighting vikings! As always, I love to hear what you think. Hope you enjoyed it and thanks to those who read and reviewed.