Myriad Museum Mischief

"Wow, look at this place," Pyro excitedly took in his surroundings. "This is gonna be fun!"

"I think you are right," Piotr smiled standing next to him. "I have never been to one of these before. It seems very interesting."

"Oh please," Sabertooth growled. "You two fools are pathetic. Getting all worked up from being in a stupid science museum."

"Hey, science museums aren't stupid!" Pyro snapped at him. "They have all kinds of fun exhibits you can play with. Like making a tower of methane bubbles and then setting it on fire! Hahahahaha!"

"Uh, I do not think we should visit that one," Piotr gulped nervously.

"Oh come on mate. You're gonna love it," Pyro began to laugh maniacally which caused several people nearby to quickly move away from him. "What do you say Gambit?"

"I dunno Pyro. I kinda agree with Sabes on this one," Remy said while glancing at one of the many mobiles hanging from the ceiling. "This place does seem pretty boring."

"No kidding," Sabertooth grunted. "Why did we even come here in the first place?"

"Because we needed a place to hide out after Remy and Pyro released helium into Magneto's private office and made him sound like a crazed, hyperactive chipmunk," Piotr explained.

"Man that was priceless!" Remy snickered to himself. "He came storming out asking what was going on all red in the face and sounding like a duck! I nearly busted my gut from laughing so hard."

"Yeah, and whenever he tried to yell or shout it came out as a high pitch squeak," Pyro giggled. "You did manage to get it all on tape, right?"

"Oh yeah," Remy smirked and patted the video camera in his pocket. "One clip of this baby is gonna get Xavier's attention for sure."

"So which exhibit should we visit first?" Piotr asked. "The sound and vibration one?"

"Sounds good to me," Pyro agreed.

"Yeah, whatever," Remy shrugged as they headed off. He then noticed Sabertooth wasn't with them and looked back. "Hey Sabes, aren't you coming?"

"Forget it. I'm not gonna hang out with you clowns," Sabertooth turned and stomped off. "Now where can a guy find something to eat around here?"

"Fine, see you later hairball," Remy sneered and followed after Piotr and Pyro.

"I heard that!" Sabertooth shouted after him.

"Is something wrong?" Piotr asked Remy as they drifted through the museum. "You are usually more positive when we are outside the base."

"It's nothing," Remy sighed as they passed by a large DNA display made of colored glass. "I just don't see anything here real interesting."

"Come on, perk up Gambit," Pyro encouraged with a grin. "I bet even Mags would find something around here he'd like."

"Yeah right, like Mags would ever take us all to a museum," Remy scoffed as they entered the sound and vibration exhibit.

"Look at that," Piotr walked over and waved his hand inside a shiny laser harp. "This is amazing. I did not know music could be played this way."

"Wheeee! Look at me!" Pyro laughed happily as he skipped up and down a small, colorful flight of stairs. Every time he touched a step a different note was played. "Da da da da da! This is fun! Wanna try it Gambit?"

"Na, no thanks," Remy sighed as he leaned against a wall. "Man, this is boring. Nothing really worth doing around here…hello, what's this?" He drifted over to a large glass display case in the nearby geosciences exhibit. "Hmmm. A nice little collection of precious stones and metals in their natural state. Let's see, quartz, jade, silver, ruby, pearl, diamond, gold, platinum…"

"Hey, they have volcanoes here!" Pyro noticed a large sign and immediately ran off with a big smile on his face.

"Uh oh," Piotr gulped and headed after him. "Come on. We had better go make sure he does not cause any trouble."

"Yeah, yeah. In a minute," Remy waved at him absently while continuing to study the mineralogy display. "Now what can I use as a distraction…"

"I hope these volcanoes are not very realistic," Piotr said as he entered the highly decorated volcanology exhibit complete with a bright flowing lava motif. "Or at least do not contain any open flames."

"Hahahahaha!" Pyro's insane laughter echoed throughout the exhibit and sent a chill down Piotr's spine.

"That can not be good," Piotr gulped and frantically increased his efforts to locate him. "Pyro? Pyro? Py…oh my gosh!"

"Wahoooooo!" Pyro cackled maniacally as he stood on top of an enormous model composite volcano with hissing white smoke. The volcano itself was enclosed inside its own separate display area.

"Pyro get out of there!" Piotr shouted while running for the volcano.

"Yeah! Yeah!" Pyro held up a small remote control. "Look out mates! She's gonna blow!"

"Oh no," Piotr moaned and quickly hide behind a pillar.

FLOOOOOOM!

"Aaahhhhhh!" People screamed and ran around as tons of lava-colored goo spewed from the volcano and began to flow into the room.

"Who set the volcano display to overload?!" Several maintenance personnel rushed in, slipped on the goo and went sliding all over the place.

"This is bad," Piotr groaned at the large mess while the volcano continued to shoot out goo. "Pyro get over here and…Pyro?" He looked around and realized Pyro had taken off. "Oh no. Where did he go?" Piotr hurried away to try and control the chaos.

BUZZ! BUZZ!

"Look out!" Several people screamed as a horde of small robots chased after them and crawled over everything. "The robots are attacking! The robots are attacking!"

"Who put the Explorer 6 model in the wave tank?" A visitor gawked at the historic satellite submerged under water.

"Aaarrrggghhh! What's happening to the lights?" Someone cried as lights all over the museum began to blink, flicker and turn off.

"Outta my way!" People scattered as a massive globe rolled by while destroying every display in its path.

"Somebody wrote what in the calculus hall?!"

"Help me! The earthquake simulator has gone nuts!" Another person shouted as tremors began to shake the museum.

CRASH!

"I hate it when this happens," Piotr winced as he tried to find the source of all the madness. "Where is Remy? Why isn't he noticing all this?"

"What the?! I can't turn off the cloud machine!" A tour guide yelled as a large fog bank began to spread throughout the museum.

"Help! Some big guy with blond hair stuck me to the pinwall and I can't get loose!"

"There's toilet paper all over the computer lab!" A lab tech stumbled out with toilet paper wrapped around his head.

"But it's not our fault!" A group of kids protested to another tour guide. "The funny sounding man said it was okay to go bowling in the halls with stuff from the human body exhibit!"

"AAAHHHHHH!" Several security guards sped by on rocket propelled wheelchairs while screaming for their lives.

"Where is he?" Piotr moaned and desperately looked around for his missing teammate. "Pyro! Where are you? Pyro…PYRO GET DOWN FROM THERE!"

WHOOOOOOSSSHHH!

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Pyro laughed maniacally as he sailed through the air at the controls of a life sized Lilienthal glider.

"Pyro! Watch out for that…" Piotr tried to shout.

CRASH!

"…dinosaur skeleton," Piotr winced.

"Ooooooh, what a ride," Pyro blinked as he dropped to the floor with the destroyed glider while miraculously unhurt.

CREEEAAAK!

The unbalanced Saltosaurs skeleton groaned and began to fall to the floor. "Uh oh!" Piotr quickly armored up underneath his clothes and ran over to prop it up. He just barely managed to stop the skeleton before it fell on top of Pyro.

RIIIP! RIIIP!

"Not again," Piotr sighed at his torn clothes as he quickly righted the skeleton to a more stable position. He then returned to his normal state and turned to help Pyro. "You were almost the first being in sixty five million years to be killed by a dinosaur…Pyro?" Piotr blinked at the vacant remains of the glider. "Oh no, now where did he go?" he groaned and ran off in search once again.

"Where did all these marbles come from?" People screamed as they unsuccessfully tried to keep their balance. "And why are they beginning to change color?"

"Help! Some crazy kid tied me up with slinkies and I can't get out!" A poor tour guide hopped by looking like a human spring.

"Hey! Somebody broke into the mineralogy display and stole all the specimens!"

"Now that was fun," Remy grinned as he casually moved away from the display and patted his pockets. "You'd think it'd be difficult to disable the security cameras for an entire science museum but…hey gift shop! Come to papa!"

"Get me down from here!" Another tour guide shouted while stuck to a large Van de Graaff generator.

"Don't worry, I got you!" A nearby security guard moved in to help.

"Wait! Not so fast…"

ZZZAAAPPP!

"AAARRRGGGHHH!"

"Oh dear," Piotr sighed as people rushed by to escape from the museum. "This is not going well."

"Run for your lives! Some nut is running around spraying everything in sight with liquid nitrogen!"

"What the heck?! Is that a disco ball?!" Someone pointed at a large makeshift collection of mirrors, lasers, tour guides and duct tape suspended from the ceiling.

"Alright! Cool!" A few of the older visitors who still remained started to dance as disco music began to play over the museum's intercom.

"Huh?" Piotr blinked and came to a sudden stop. "I do not even want to know how he did that."

"Hey, this place is starting to loosen up," Sabertooth chuckled as he walked up to Piotr.

"Where have you been?" Piotr gasped as he tried to decide what to do next.

"Just getting something to eat," Sabertooth smacked his lips. "Stuff was pretty good too."

"Oh, you went and found the food court?" Piotr asked.

"Not exactly," Sabertooth shrugged.

"AAAHHHHHH! WHO TOOK THE SHEEP BRAINS AND HEARTS FROM THE SENSES EXHIBIT?" Someone shouted in panic.

"Oh no," Piotr moaned. "You did not…"

"They were just lying inside a big plastic dome display," Sabertooth grunted. "What? It's not like I went and gutted a live sheep right in front of everybody."

"You did," Piotr groaned. "Please tell me you did not get into a fight with security afterward."

"Of course not," Sabertooth scoffed. "I went and trapped 'em all in the hurricane booth beforehand."

"AAARRRGGGHHH! SOMEBODY GET US OUTTA HERE!" Several more high pitched screams were heard. "I'M GONNA BE SICK!"

"And a few elevators," Sabertooth added. "Hey, wonder if there're any leftovers in the mummification section."

"What?!" Piotr blinked as Sabertooth moved off. "Wait a minute! We have to do something about all this!"

"YEEEHHHAAAAAAAA!" Pyro whooped insanely as he rode by inside a large, yellow submarine.

"Will you people stop dancing and get us down from here!"

"Hey! Somebody stole my wallet! And my watch!"

"Get these robots off me!"

"Who am I kidding?" Piotr groaned as the insanity reigned around him. "Resisting all the other forces of nature would be simple compared to trying to stop all this!"