This story is a sequel to one I just wrote called He Can't Have Her. But I think it should be really easy to understand without reading the first one.

First time readers-

You just have to know the pain points and those are…After seeing that Nate and Blair were together again, Chuck ended up attempting suicide. He went through a lot of problems in the story…the hospital, the Ostroff Center, his friend-turned-enemy Nate (they had many fights). But eventually Blair and Chuck got together…They were happy for a little while. But Chuck got jealous and he fought with Blair after seeing Nate was at her house. She ultimately said, "I will never be with you." This sent him into a spiral downwards, which resulted in him trying to kill himself once again.

This story is dedicated to two of my friends. Arlia practically gave me the whole idea for the story! So I owe a lot to her. And my best friend, Kodi, gave me the idea of what to do for the first chapter. So thanks guys! I hope you like it.

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Lily's hand shook as she reached out for his body. Covered in blood, he laid there. Still as a rock.

She took a gasp of air in, as she had been holding her breath as soon as she saw him.

Her knees were touching the blood pool around his lifeless body.

She felt sick to her stomach, and was having trouble taking normal breathes. They were short, wheezing breaths of air.

"Ma'am? Ma'am, are you still there?" She heard from the phone that she had dropped on the floor as soon she had called 911 and told them about him and to come right away.

She didn't answer and she got up the courage to touch his body. She finally laid her hand on his chest. Then moved up to his face. It was cold and pale. All the colors of his cheeks were long gone.

"Charles?" She choked out. She thought maybe he would still be able to hear her. She was too naïve.

His expressionless face was still and had the look of death.

She began to sob and reached out to hold him. She cradled him in her arms, and tears rolled down her face into his hair.

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"Please, please. Take a step back miss. You too ma'am." The paramedic struggled with Serena and Lily as the tried to stay close to him. They were wheeling him down the hall on a stretcher. The destination was the ER…or the operation room. They weren't entirely certain where they were taking him. "Please, you can't go any further!"

A few nurses held onto Serena and her mother to stop them from following him anymore.

Serena burst into tears, Lily hadn't stopped crying. "Where are they taking him?!" The younger blonde shrieked.

One nursed held Serena in her arms, shushing her. "They're going to do all they can do to help your friend."

"He's not my friend, he's my brother!" She screamed at the nurse which caused heads to turn. She shoved the nurse away from her.

"Okay. I'm sorry. They're going to try their best to help your brother." she rubbed her arm, soothingly. "Will you and your mother follow me?"

"No, I want to wait here for him." Lily said.

"It might be awhile, you'll probably want to sit down."

"She said we'll wait here for him!" Serena snapped again.

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"No! No! Nooo!" Blair bawled and yelled at the top of her lungs. She held him in her arms. She hugged him tightly and intertwined her fingers in his hair.

Lily and Serena sat around Chuck on the hospital bed in sorrow. Eric was leaned against the wall, a look of anger plastered on his face.

Serena had a blank stare; as she drained out her best friend's painful shrills.

Somehow tears still found a way to fall from Lily's eyes, when you think she would be all out of them by now.

Eric was growing tired of Blair and her voice. He turned around and punched the wall. "My god, Blair! Shut the hell up!" he left the room in a quick, angry pace.

Her eyes were already red and puffy, her nose was running and her voice was cracked. "What happened?" She barely got out in a small voice.

Lily just sat there, still as a fucking statue. But Blair's question snapped Serena out of her trance. "You tell me." she said in the bitterest voice possible.

Blair didn't understand what she meant by that, but she couldn't be bothered to ask. She was too concentrated on Chuck, tears streamed down her face, not taking a break, or even slowing down a bit.

Lily's eyes never left Chuck either. She held his cold hand loosely. She looked very motherly sitting next to him at that moment, as if she'd raised him his whole life.

Serena glared at her friend. She was the one who did this to him. She still hadn't found out what Blair had done to upset him so much, but she knew it was bad. It had to be. To make him do this again.

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Chuck opened his eyes slowly and groggily. As soon as he registered where he was, he cursed in his head, "This is ridiculous," He said out loud.

A second attempt and still not dead.

He looked around the room to find it empty. Why weren't Serena, Eric and Lily here?

He tried not to even think about that other person that should be here. 'I don't want her here anyways," He lied to himself.

Without even thinking it through he got out of the bed. "Hate these damn hospital gowns."

He was not staying in a hospital again. He was not going back to the Ostroff center. He wasn't living this nightmare again.

He tried to stealthily walk out into the hall. There was a closet near by and he headed straight towards. In there were some extra scrubs.

He took off the standard hospital gown and put on some dark blue colored nurse scrubs. It wasn't the best look for him, but better than some backless night gown.

The fact that he had no shoes was a small problem, but he was hoping no one would be looking at his feet.

He stepped out of the closet and tried to blend in with the nurses and doctors walking down the hall.

No one looked at him suspiciously; in fact no one looked at him at all. He supposed he seemed pretty convincing.

Without stopping to see if anyone was watching him he walked straight towards the front entrance and out the doors.

He tried to hail cabs that were passing by, but that didn't work. They all zoomed passed him. And he didn't have his phone to call his limo.

He really hadn't thought his brilliant plan through till the end.

The bus it was then…

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He got dropped off at the closest place possible to the Palace. Chuck was relieved to get off the bus. It seemed…unsanitary. Someone even sat next to him. He shuttered at the memory of the dirty old man sitting to close to him for comfort. Wasn't he a little old for a perverts to like him? But the guy hadn't even looked at him. It was rude, but he brushed it off and walked inside the hotel.

He realized he couldn't go home because he didn't want Lily knowing he had left the hospital. Although, they would all find out sooner or later. And she was going to have a fit, but he didn't care because he wasn't going back there.

So the only other place he could go was his own suite in the hotel. He kept it even after he moved back in with the Van der Woodsen's, just in case he needed somewhere to hide out by himself. And this was definitely the time he would need that suite.

He found he could open it without the key; it didn't use electronic key cards so he must've left it unlocked the last time he came there.

Chuck sat plopped down on the sofa and caught his breath for the first time since he had left the hospital. Now what, he thought. What was he supposed to do now?

Lily, Serena, and Eric were eventually going to be looking for him. It was kind of pointless to be hiding out, but he was doing it anyways.

He stretched out across the couch; he felt tired but was unable to fall asleep. Shouldn't he be so exhausted he wouldn't be able to keep his eyes open?

He tried to calm down from everything. This gave him time to think about what he had done.

He had done it again. Tried to kill himself. Tried to commit suicide. Tried to leave this life behind. Why hadn't it worked this time? He felt like a failure. Not even able to kill himself correctly. How pathetic was he? What would Blair think? Of course his mind wandered to her…

He thought about what she might be doing right now. If Serena had called to tell her. And why they weren't at the hospital. He started to worry about them and what they would think happened to him. His new family was making him go soft.

Chuck couldn't stop thinking of what they might be doing at this moment, so he decided to see for himself. He knew they would be concerned about him missing. He just knew. At least, he hoped they were concerned.

He left the room and rode the elevator up tot the pent house, the Van der Woodsen home. It dinged to a stop quickly and he stepped out onto the tiled floor.

He could hear people yelling from another room. A lot of anger in their voices. He walked towards the voices, not knowing where else to head. As he got closer their voices quieted down and he could make out whose was whose. He heard Serena say, "He's been dead for a week now, Mom. We've got to start making some arrangements. I can't be the one taking care of everything here! I can't take care of you and Eric either. You guys need to suck it up and help me." Chuck hadn't heard Serena ever sound so pissed off before.

He was hiding behind a wall listening to their conversation secretly.

"Maybe you could be a little bit more sympathetic to your brother and me. Because there are some people who actually cared about him." Lily said back to her.

Who was this Him they were talking about?

"Yeah I know. I cared about him too. But I'm not sitting around crying about it all day. We still have responsibilities. The hospital said we had to do something soon or else they were sending him to some cheap funeral home where they probably steal from the dead. And I don't know about you, but I think he deserves better than that."

Chuck was confused by their conversation; he had no clue who they could be talking about. The only person he could think of who they thought was in the hospital was…him. But they were talking about this person like they were dead. And he wasn't dead. He looked down at his wrists where his stitches from the doctors sewing him back up should be. He started gasping for air as he stared down at his wrists. His heart was beating as fast and as hard as it could, it pounded against his chest. On his wrists were two bloody, gaping wounds. He wasn't stitched back up. His skin was wide open, but he felt nothing. It was like he didn't even have wrists.

But all this was impossible, he reassured himself. He was just as much here as Lily and Serena.

He stepped out from behind the wall into their view. But they didn't turn to look at him. They were still looking at each other.

"Lily? Serena?" He tried to talk to them. But he got nothing in response from them. This wasn't possible. He wasn't dead. He was perfectly alive. He was walking around wasn't he?

He walked out right in front of them, but they stared straight through him. "This isn't possible!" He screamed out loud.

He thought about all this. "I'm still alive. I'm real. I'm standing right in front of them. I'm not dead." He told himself all the things he believed were true. "I'm not dead, you guys!"

But Serena and Lily continued to argue. "Doesn't Blair need you now too? Why aren't you spending time with her? You guys need each other now." Lily told her in a very motherly way.

"I'm not talking to that bitch."

"Why not?" She seemed appalled by Serena's choice of words.

"Why would I? This is all her fault."

"What? Why would you say that?"

"Because it's the truth. I saw Chuck only a few hours before he died, and he was very upset about something. And it had to do with Blair."

"What?" Lily wanted to know what had happened.

"I don't know what it was. He never told me and I never asked her about it."

Chuck was beginning to feel nauseous. This wasn't happening. This couldn't happen. Because things like this didn't happen.

"Don't you think you should ask her about? I'm sure she feels really guilty." Lily stated in a sad tone.

"Mom! Don't feel bad for her. She doesn't deserve it. She killed him. It's her fault." Serena was definitely holding a grudge.

"Don't be angry with her. She didn't have any control over this."

"I don't understand you. You're so sad about him being dead, but you're not even mad at the person responsible for it?!"

"I may be sad, but at least I'm not angry," She said meaning Serena was the angry one. "Honey, we can get threw this together." Lily put a hand on her daughters shoulder and prepared to giver her a hug but she jerked away.

"I'm going to talk to Blair. She's to blame. I'll show you." She strutted away.

Chuck watched her go and was getting ready to follow her when he saw Lily walk closer to Eric's bedroom door. "Sweetie. Please open the door." She said and rested her head against the door.

There was silence from the other side of it. "Please, Eric. Open the door. You've been in there for three days straight now. You have to come out sometime."

But there was, again, no answer.

Chuck felt a wrenching ache at his stomach. Seeing people caring about him this much seemed improbable. He always assumed that nobody would really miss him when he died.

He left Lily still standing there with her head leaned against Eric's door and he went to catch up with Serena.

All this was still very unreal for him.

He was walking next to Serena like he would if he was really walking next to her, but she had no idea he was there. It felt strange. Almost like he was watching people when he shouldn't be. He could see how sad her eyes were. Although she talked and acted like she was angry, Chuck could tell she was just hiding her sadness from people. He knew that's what he would do.

He tagged along beside her all the way to Blair's; he stuck out his hand to touch her a few times but pulled back each time. He knew as soon as he went to touch her and felt nothing there, all this would become reality for him.

Looking at Serena's face and watching the way she walked you could tell she was on a mission. She had something to accomplish.

They reached Blair's apartment building and Serena went inside without stopping for a second. But Chuck was a little bit more hesitant. Did he want to see Blair? Because she wouldn't be able to see him.

He felt more alone then ever.

But he followed Serena in and up to Blair's level.

"Ms. Serena. It's so nice to see you." Dorota greeted her.

"Is Blair here?" She said in a no-nonsense, snobby way.

"Yes. She is in bedroom with mother."

Eleanor came down stairs; she looked tired but still had a certain amount of class to her walk. "Dorota, will you try to talk to her? She's still not listening to me. Serena!" Her daughter's friend caught her eye and she suddenly perked up. "Aw, how are you sweetie?" She gave her a small hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm fine." Not showing her true emotions.

Chuck stood back, watching them. He would felt strange, as if he were spying on them. Not that he didn't already do that regularly, but he was just so close to them and they had no clue he was there.

"I bet this is hard for you. And your mother. How's she doing?"

"She's trying to be strong. Mostly for Eric. He's taking it pretty badly."

Eleanor had an expression of pity, "It's been really hard for Blair too."

"I'm sure." Serena showed no sympathy on her expressionless face.

"She's in the denial stage at the moment. She's not accepting it." She shook her head sadly.

"May I speak to her?"

"Of course. Go on upstairs."

"Thanks." Serena trotted up the stairs and Chuck followed slowly passing by Eleanor and Dorota. He was so close he could smell their perfume, but they were completely oblivious to him.

He took his time walking up the curving stairs, he was nervous to see Blair. Was she even upset about him being dead?

Serena knocked once and opened the door. Chuck followed in behind her, he hung his head down, not ready to look at Blair yet. But he did as soon as she spoke. "Serena!" She wiped some tears from her eyes, "What are you doing here?" She sniffled, "I thought you'd never come and see me."

"I didn't really want to, but I needed to talk to you."

"I don't know why you're mad at me."

"It's you're fault he did it. So what'd you say to him?"

"What are you talking about?" Blair seemed genuinely confused.

He wanted to reach out and touch her. He was only a few feet away from her, but he refrained from moving.

"You said something to him to upset him, now tell me what it was."

Blair face was filled with so much sadness, Chuck felt tears filling up his eyes. Why was he feeling sorry for her? She was the reason he did this!

"I didn't know he would get so upset." She shook her head as tears strolled down her red cheeks. "I didn't know." She cupped her face in her hands.

"What did you say to him? Just tell me, so I can go." Serena was cold to her best friend, but then again, she didn't consider Blair her best friend anymore.

"We just got in a fight! Nothing to hurt himself over!"

"Well, obviously there was something, or else he would be alive now."

His stomach churned as their words hit him. This couldn't possibly be real. It's all a dream, he told himself.

Blair hung her head in shame, "I told him that I could never be with someone like him, that I would never be with him."

Serena's eyes were daggers as she stared at Blair, "And what brought you to say that?"

"We got in a fight. Because Nate was in my room, and they fought. And Chuck tried to choke him." She looked up with tear stricken doe eyes.

Serena's eyebrows rose, "I thought you were in love with Chuck, not Nate."

"I do love Chuck!-"

Serena cut her off, "Did. You did love him."

Blair narrowed her eyes and continued, "I do love Chuck, but I wasn't about to let him kill his best friend."

"But after all this you fought? And told him you'd never be with him? Why is that?"

The brunette's lips quivered, "I was mad…If I could I would take it all back." She looked weak and tired. Chuck had a lot of sympathy for her, although he shouldn't.

But Serena still did not care about her broken and shattered friend, "Well I got what I came here for, I should go now."

"You can't stay for a little while?"

"No, I have to make some arrangements for my dead brother, since my mother is incapable of doing it." Her words pierced Blair like a knife, my dead brother. "I'm sure she'll send you an invitation to the funeral though, because she can't see that this is your entire fault." With those last words she left the room, leaving her friend crying on her bed.

Chuck stood there; if she would be able to see him it would be very awkward for both of them. But since she couldn't, it was only awkward for him.

"You know…Blair…I'm standing right in front of you. And you can't even see me." He said in a sad tone.

Her shoulders shook as she whimpered and cried.

He reached out his hand to touch her shoulder, which was only covered with a thin night shirt. He slowly inched closer and closer to her. He put his pale hand on her. "I'm sorry." He said as a tear fell down his cheek. He felt nothing touching his hand. Where he should've felt the warmth of her body, he felt…nothing.

Blair jerked her head up suddenly, and Chuck quickly removed his hand from her shoulder. He watched her as she looked around the room with her teary eyes.

She shook her head and tried to clear her mind.

"Wait, Blair, can you feel me?" He touched his hand to her face and swiped at her cheek with a confused look.

"Get a hold of yourself." She said out loud.

"No, Blair! I'm here! Blair! I know you can feel me." He touched her arm.

She stood up from her bed and walked into her bathroom and shut the door. He listened to her turn on the water to the shower. But instead of hearing the water start to hit her body, he still heard in hit the bottom of the tub.

Then he heard the awful sound of her hurling into the toilet.

So far, being dead really sucked.

Sorry it took my so long to write this! It was a lot harder to write than I thought it would be. I'm not very fond of this first chapter, but I know it'll get better. Sorry if you don't really like the whole idea of him being dead. I know it's probably not what you were expecting. I wanted it to be different from the first one. But if you don't like it, the whole idea of it is going to change pretty fast, so still keep reading. It will get better. Also, please review!