Final chapter.
Tily: ...I'm scared
Kit: Just read it.
Disclaimer: I found Luxord passed out on a park bench, with any luck I can blackmail him into helping me into Square. The story idea is mine the characters belong to Sqeenix.
He was speechless.
Roxas' world had crashed down around him with those few words from Elena. Everything from the past nine months flooded his mind, his friends, his family and most of all Axel, leaving a gaping hole in his chest that made him hunch over with unseen pain by anyone else in the room. Axel.
He couldn't just let this happen. No way. "What are you talking about?" he final asked, training his eyes on his guardians in front of him, both of them looking equally apologetic though it didn't make a difference to Roxas. "You can't just do this, you can't take us away from this place we have lives here now!" He was furious though he was trying his best to be calm, and found himself standing, his hands curled into tight fists as he shook with pent up anger.
"No dear," Elena finally spoke, standing up herself but still speaking calmly, which only managed to irritate Roxas more. "You're coming with us. But not Cloud."
The new information made the youngest blonde's anger flare again but the shock of being separated from his brother hit him harder, and his knees buckled making him fall back into the chair he'd just vacated, Ansem watching the scene in sorrow. "Why?" Roxas whispered, his eyes quickly clouding over with tears he refused to let fall. "Why are you doing this?"
"Honey I'm sorry but you have to. We still have custody of you as guardians until you're eighteen, and leaving you here in the care of your grandfather was always only temporary." Elena tried to explain, and the truth… hurt.
Roxas could feel his stomach churn, his throat tighten and he was starting to think if he didn't move, get away from this, he'd be sick with all of the emotion they were throwing onto him. "Why!?" the blond bellowed, though his voice cracked weakly. "Why didn't you tell me this!? You left us here, and you knew all along at least I would have to go back, and you didn't tell me!" Roxas held back sobs, biting the inside of his lip to stop his lip from quivering.
"Roxas, we-" but Elena was interrupted as Rufus stood briskly, his pity for his nephew masked by authority that made Roxas feel even more sick.
"That's enough!" Rufus spoke over the younger blond who could have started crying there and then. "We didn't tell you for your own good, we wanted you to be happy here instead of isolating yourself which we knew you would if you knew. We're truly sorry Roxas. But this is the way things are." the older man's tone was cold, turning calm towards the end of his speech, and Roxas could say nothing. His guardians had lied to him, and for it, he was paying the price of loosing his life.
He finally stood, looked up at Rufus and Elena with tear filled eyes, and turned, walking away from them both and up to his room, closing the door silently behind him as Ansem watched after his youngest grandson, letting out a sad breath and finally looking away.
********
"Roxas?" there was a knock on his door paired with the voice of his brother, and Roxas didn't say anything in response. He knew Cloud would let himself in, and he felt his bed dip beside him, his face buried in his pillow and the faint light from his ceiling light slithered through the cracks between bed and material. "I don't know what to say kiddo. I don't even know what to do anymore, I tried to tell them but they wouldn't listen to me, even gramps tried reasoning with them." Roxas didn't hate his brother for not coming with him, and Cloud didn't need to explain, he knew he would fight for him to the bitter end, but against Rufus and Elena Roxas knew that battle was lost before it was started.
"I know Cloud," the younger blond admitted, his voice cracking from crying so much and not using it for a good few hours. Everyone was asleep by now.
"I'm so, so sorry Roxas." Cloud said sadly, hugging his brother from where he sat. "I wish you could stay, you're my family, I'm lost without you buddy."
Roxas felt another tidal wave of sadness wash over him and he tried to stop himself from sobbing again, taking a few deep breathes before speaking, "what are you talking about? You'll be fine without me, and I have faith in you and Zack, he'll look after you." Roxas said with a shaky smile his brother couldn't see.
"Listen Rox, I've got to ask you something, and I know you don't want to talk about it." Cloud said, concern present in his voice as he brought up the subject his younger sibling knew he came in to talk about. "What about Axel?"
Roxas' heart clenched tightly at the mention of his name. The one person he had ever loved, and he doubted he'd ever love anyone else again after this. It was the one thing Roxas hadn't thought about but couldn't get out of his head, he didn't know what he would say to Axel, because the one thing he'd never dreamt of saying to the redhead… was goodbye.
"I don't know," Roxas sobbed, and he allowed all of his sorrow to spill out of him in waterfalls of tears. "Cloud," he said, hiccupping "I don't know." He felt the bed shuffle, and his brother's arms lift him gently to cradle the boy, just like he had done when they were children, and Roxas stayed there.
And he cried.
********
"Honey, do you need help with your packing?" Elena asked, opening Roxas' bedroom door in the morning to find him kneeling over his suitcase, packing away his clothes with a vacant expression which almost drew the woman to tears. She didn't want to do this, but they had to.
"No thank you aunty," Roxas answered in monotone, not looking up at the woman as he moved clothes mechanically from floor to case, and it broke her heart.
"Roxas, I-"
"Once I'm finished packing I'd like to visit A-" Roxas paused, swallowing the lump that was ready to form in his throat. "Axel."
"Of course dear," Elena said, trying not to sob herself. "I'll drive you there, Rufus can meet us at the airport when you're finished." Roxas gave a short nod but said nothing, and with that the woman left, Roxas setting free the tears he'd kept back from her as he stared blankly, and continued packing.
******
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Roxas stopped at the question, feeling the hand placed on his shoulder and turned to look, with sad eyes, at his brother, who was wearing a concerned expression on his face. It was understandable, Roxas was in love, and everything was breaking down, cracking. A pebble had hit the windscreen and all of the cracks were leading up to this final task that would shatter his heart like fragile glass and leave the pieces to be left as a reminder, and to stab at every part of him. But a heart wasn't as easy to fix as glass. It couldn't be replaced so easily.
Even Cloud knew his question was stupid. He was anxious for his little brother, Roxas shouldn't have to do this, but what else could be done? If Cloud suggested he say something to Axel it would be denied. Roxas wasn't one to just run away from this.
The older of the pair sighed, his free hand curling into a tight fist at his lack of being able to do anything about any of this. It killed him, but not as much as he knew it was killing Roxas. "I love you Cloud, be careful, and make sure you tell Zack to keep that free carnival day for you and him." Both boys' hearts were stricken with pain then. It felt so much like they were saying goodbye for good when they both knew they'd see each other again hopefully sooner than later.
"I love you kiddo, make good use of that laptop gramps gave you understand?" Cloud's voice cracked and he pulled Roxas into a tight hug, saying goodbye to his little brother before he and Elena drove away towards Roxas' biggest heartbreak.
*******
"I'll be right here when you're finished," Elena smiled reassuringly at her nephew, though it was unsure why even to her, nothing would be reassuring to Roxas now, and he nodded wordlessly as he exited the car and closed the door, his heart racing rapidly as he approached the apartment building which loomed ahead, and he wished more than anything he could run away, leave Elena and Rufus, and the plane back to England, escape having to tell the only person he'd ever loved or love that he was leaving.
Without knowing it Roxas' feet had taken him to the door of his lovers' and best friends' apartment door and he stood there, staring at it, trying to collect himself until, without warning, the door was swung open and he was met by a loudly laughing Sora, who was as shocked by Roxas being there as the blond was of his brunet friend. "Well finally," Sora grinned after staring at Roxas for a few seconds "so they're finally gone? It took you long enough to get here we've got decorating to do."
Roxas didn't answer, even seeing Sora's grinning face tore a little piece of his heart away and it immediately shrivelled and died. With the longer than usual silence Riku appeared beside his boyfriend having heard the one sided conversation and gave a worried look to Roxas' blank expression. "What happened?" he asked, disregarding the usual 'are you ok?' that should have came before that question.
Roxas had to stop himself from breaking down, blanking his expression though he knew he couldn't hide anything from Riku, and by how the silverette looked at him the blond knew that his eyes had just told his friend everything he needed to know. "Roxas?" It was Sora who was concerned now, the mood between the door frame and the three boys becoming a mixture of worry and gloom. Roxas was distressed, Sora confused and Riku speechless, gawking at his best friend who dropped his head, unable to look at either of them.
"Why?" was all the silverette could manage, he had to know the reason and there had better be a good explanation.
"I don't have a choice," Roxas mumbled sadly and felt Riku's hands grip his shoulders.
"Of course you have a choice they can't just-" the blond didn't move, and he could tell Riku was trying his best to stay calm, act rational and not march to Elena and Rufus and scream at them. "They can't just take you," the silverette ground out through clenched teeth and Roxas had never known the boy so angry.
"What!?" another stab of pain shot through Roxas' heart. Sora had caught on now, and nothing good could come from this. "They-they're what? Tell me you're lying Roxas, there's no way." The brunet was close enough to hysterical that Riku let go of Roxas to hold his boyfriend before he broke down.
"I'm so sorry, I never thought this would happen, and I'd give anything to stay," Roxas said, finally looking up at his friends, Riku was cradling Sora, the silverette's expression angry and sad. "I," the blond tried to talk around the unmoving lump in his throat, swallowing hard though he knew it wouldn't do anything to get rid of it. "I need to-"
"We'll be downstairs," Riku said softly to his friend, "make sure you don't leave without saying goodbye," and the pair left, leaving Roxas to stand in the empty corridor and he entered the apartment to be greeted by quietly playing rock music.
"Finally I thought you three would be out there all day, Riku help me with this, Sora'll have my balls in a vice if I nail it an inch out." Roxas listened to the angelic voice, staring at the back of Axel as he stood facing the wall holding a frame in his hand, a backwards cap placed on his head, crushing his wild spikes which retaliated by sticking out the sides, and Roxas would have laughed any other day. Axel slowly turned when he received no answer and raised a questioning eyebrow when he found a less than bubbly looking Roxas.
"Roxy?" Axel placed the frame on the floor, any thought of torture coming from Sora because of a wrongly placed piece of art forgotten for his boyfriend's dead expression. "What's wrong?" he asked, approaching the blond who was still just staring at him, Roxas' lip quivering slightly. "Jesus Rox say something here, if this is a joke it's not funny." Axel was deeply concerned, nothing had ever made Roxas look this way before.
"I n-need to tell you something," Roxas practically squeaked, ready to fall into Axel's arms and cry. The redhead said nothing, already dreading what was coming next. Roxas swallowed, trying his best to give some strength to his voice. "I will always love you, Axel," the first tear rolled down Roxas' cheek and he let it slide down his face followed by another. "I-I have to go," the blond sobbed, keeping his gaze on the redhead who was staring at his lover, tears shining in his eyes, but Roxas knew Axel was stronger than he was, those tears wouldn't fall while Roxas was there. "I promise I'll come back, and I promise I'm not leaving you. You're keeping my heart, I don't want it back, but I'll be back for you."
Axel was speechless. This wasn't supposed to happen, they were all supposed to decorate and have fun and be together. "Roxas," he breathed out, unable to say anything else, he needed the boy to be there, to answer to his name. The blond only sobbed, and Axel opened his arms, wrapping them tightly around Roxas though he knew he'd have to let go sooner than he wanted to. "I'll wait for you," he whispered as Roxas' tears drenched the front of his shirt and a warm tear fell down his own face. "I love you so much," and he leaned back, kissing the blonde's forehead before releasing him and walking into the hall, and as Roxas heard the soft click of a door, he broke down, his heart shattering into a pile of sharp glass, stabbing brutally every time he took a breath.
And he ran.
Roxas found his best friends where Riku had said they'd be, both Sora's and Roxas' eyes red, and swollen from crying. "We'll be here when you get back Roxas," Riku spoke up and the blond nodded with a quiet sob.
"Can you tell Demyx and the others, that I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye?" Roxas asked and the silverette nodded, standing up and walking to his best friend, pulling him into a hug, Sora doing the same and Roxas was stabbed again by the shards that were his heart as he finally said goodbye.
*******
He was stricken with a much more painful version of de-ja-vu, watching the luggage buggies travel easily between airport and plane. Everyone's life was going as normal, no one cared how he was dying inside. Roxas turned to his uncle when he felt the other rest his hand on his nephew's shoulder and squeeze it reassuringly, giving him an apologetic smile and Roxas just stared blankly before turning away.
He didn't care anymore about being an English bred boy, didn't care what his life would be like back there, because everything had changed. He was English in America, and that was where he wanted to be, he felt stupid now for being so sad about leaving his home town because the life he had been given was better than the one he'd been taken away from, and now he was being taken away from the life he loved, and the people he loved.
Roxas missed having Cloud there to tell him it was all alright, but it wasn't anymore anyway, nothing Cloud might have said if he was there would change that. "It'll be good to have you home," Rufus spoke with another smile as the plane began to move and again Roxas said nothing. It was no longer home.
Home is where the heart is.
And Roxas left his heart behind, until he returned to it again, like he promised.
A/N: ...Oh shit! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME THERE'S A SEQUEL I SWEAR TO GOD!! *cowering for my life*
I'm sorry.
I could leave it at that really. Almost every comment I received was basically 'MAKE IT A HAPPY ENDING OR I STABZ JOO! '
I'm going into hiding orz
Ok so, like I said there will be a sequel, I can't just leave the story like this it's against my religion :P
Understand one thing!!
I don't want to see ANY comments saying 'hurry with the sequel' or anything of the sort. I understand that might be how you feel, but getting so many comments telling me to hurry up with the final chapter of this was just pressure, and pressure = block and lack of motivation. Also no more threatening comments, no matter how 'good natured' they are, I don't like them.
I'll know if you haven't read this if I start getting comments about the sequel, please be patient. I do have a lot to do and other stories to write that I'd like to get into. The relief that this is over is huge and I can finally get on with other things.
Anyway that's my rant, I hope you enjoyed reading my story I thank you guys for your patience, enthusiasm and support and don't forget, it's not over yet ;3
Reviewer mention time!
The biggest thank you goes to mei lynn 64, XIII Riku and Zoe Montez for reviewing almost every chapter you're awesome!
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Thank you guys for your support and love, see you when the sequels out. :)
Peace and Love Kit~ and Tily*