OMG LOOK IT'S SAHRAH! SHE'S ALIVE!

Actually, I'm not. You're imagining things. Seek medical help immediately. Yeah. But seriously, I'm working on something that I really hope you're going to like! It'll be up, uhh... eventually. Sure.

So, this poem is from Aerith's point of view. She's talking to Zack. FYI, the guy she talks about towards the end is Cloud, in case you can't tell. And Zack's mentor, of course, is Angeal. Although I'd like to think those things are obvious. The poem takes place during and a little while after the events of Crisis Core.

DISCLAIMER: I OWN THE PRETTY WORDS, BUT THAT'S REALLY KIND OF IT. ACTUALLY. NOT KIND OF. THAT'S JUST IT.

.1.
When you fell into the bed of flowers,
I was so scared.
But when I saw your face, I knew.
Everything is going to be okay.
When you woke up,
You asked me
"Are you an angel?"
And I said no.

I was never an angel, but

I did think that you were.

.2.
When I found out you were a SOLDIER
I became a little angry
A little frightened
And a little sad
Because I thought that meant we couldn't be together.
But when I thought about it later,
I was a little happy
Because I knew that you would protect me.

.3.
I'd been meaning to tell you for quite some time
How much I always worried

Whenever you left on your missions
I was always so relieved when you came back.
But I never told you about that.
I was always too shy.
Too afraid that my feelings were ridiculous.
So I never did.

.4.
During a week in the winter one year,
When you were visiting your parents,
I stared at my phone for an hour because I wanted it to ring
And I wanted it to be you.
I stayed up all night
But you didn't call me until the next morning.

.5.
One night, it rained, and you were far away,
I slept in the church holding your shirt
(The one you left by accident
Because you came to see me in your civilian clothes,
But then had to change into your uniform)
I held it, and only then was I able to sleep
Because it smelled like you.

.6.
During one summer,

You came to visit me every day for two weeks
You bought me ice cream
And showed me pictures of the beach

You told me stories about places I would never see.
And we spent hours just talking in the church.
They were the best two weeks of my entire year.

.7.
Whenever you brought me pictures or presents,
I would put them in my room
And when my mother asked me
Where everything came from,
I'd tell her with a smile
"I got this from my boyfriend."

.8.
When I waited for you at the train station,
I could imagine myself getting on
And surprising you at the ShinRa building
Bringing you a nice lunch or something.
But then I'd see the security cameras.
And then I'd remember

How that could never be.

.9.
I can't remember what day of the week it was
Or what the weather looked like
Or why the thought came to me
But I remember the day it hit me
The stray thought
The only truth in my life.
"I love him."

.10.
I was so happy to see you that day
But when I ran to embrace you,

You were crying.
You were crying.
You were crying.
Silently, you were crying
Because your mentor had died
And you were carrying his sword
Because you had to kill him
All by yourself.
I hugged you tightly as you cried,

Because mourning is something I know how to do.

So I held you.
But I knew that, as always,

You were still all by yourself
And you were out of my reach.

.11.
I wished I could be with you
All the time.
I wanted so desperately to find the words
To tell you
I'm right here.
Every step of the way, I'm right here.
You just seemed so lost.
I wanted so badly to help you
And I wanted you to know
I am always right here.

.12.
Besides my mother,
You were the only person
To whom I ever said
"I love you."

.13.
Besides my mother,
You were the only person
Who ever told me
"I love you, too."

.14.
Your kisses were soft and sweet
And I never got the chance to tell you
You were my first kiss,
And you would be my last.

.15.

I told you that I didn't like the cart

Because every day I was more afraid
That I'd never see you again.
I said there were twenty-three things that I wanted
But all I really ever wanted
Was you.

.16.

I always wanted to be more like you

So that even if I got scared,

I'd still be able to smile

I wanted to be able to defend myself

And not be the kind of girl

That always sits and waits for everything.

That was one thing

I always hated.

Waiting.

Not knowing where you were.

Not knowing when I'd see you again,

Or even ifI'd see you again.

I was always

Just waiting for you

And I hated that more than anything else in the world.

.17.

I remember the last time I heard your voice.
When I hung up the phone

For the last time
I began to cry.
I began to weep
And I couldn't stop.
I felt like, somehow,
I was falling
And for once, you wouldn't be able to catch me.
Because somehow, I knew
I just knew.

I knew that, when you said you'd be home soon,

That it was a lie.

Did you even know it was a lie?

But I knew.

I knew it was gone forever.

My happiness, gone forever.
I knew it was over.
Everything was over.

.18.
I would sit for hours
Staring out my window
Wearing your shirt
Watching my horizon
The horizon made of garbage and metal
The horizon made of patience and broken promises
And I would wait there and pretend
Just pretend
I could always pretend
That you were coming back.
But I always knew
I was always just pretending.

.19.
Four years passed
I wrote so many letters to you
And when I went to write the last one,
I realized that there was nothing left in me.

Only the regret

That I never told you the truth.

I am so sorry, my love.

I should have told you.

I should have tried to save you.

Instead, I wrote you letters,

And begged the planet to bring you back.

For four years,

All I did was pray.

I prayed and I prayed and you know what?

No one ever answered me.

Not once.

.20.
One afternoon, when it was drizzling,
I was in the church with the flowers,

Watching the water cling to the soft yellow petals

Trying to decide how many

To take with me for the day

In the cart you built
When suddenly, the entire planet began to weep.

I felt it tremble with sadness

I heard it cry out in anguish.
The rain began to pour
And I looked at the sky.
Where the sky should have been.
And I knew

I just knew.
You were dead.

.21.
Two years later, he crashed into the church.

The same way you did.

Exactly the same way.
I was so happy because
He was the proof I needed
That you existed, that you were real,
That I didn't dream you up.
He was proof

That you were my first boyfriend,
My first kiss,
And my only love.

.22.
When we met your parents in Gongaga,
I told him that you and I
Never had a serious relationship
And that I didn't really love you.
But I lied.
I lied because I was scared.
I was so scared to miss you again.
Scared to have to feel all that pain again.

Scared that I'd have to relive your death

Again.
So I told him
I didn't love you.
But you have to know
Please, oh please, you have to know
You have to know how much I loved you.

I loved you more than I thought possible.
I loved you with everything I had.
I loved you always and forever.
I love you.

.23.

I was right.

The first time we met, and

I thought you were an angel.

I was right.

You really were an angel.

I know it because
You had wings
When you took my hand and
Pulled me into the Lifestream.

And I told you my twenty-three truths.

The things I'd never gotten the chance

To say to you before you left.

Here's the last one.

It's so good to see you again, Zack.