Chapter Five: Unmasked

"I don't generally do things like this," Cal said, letting go of Abigail's hand, standing up and pacing a few feet away. She stood up from the chair she had been sitting on and followed him. "For not doing this very often you're doing a pretty good job," she said.

"No, I'm not," he said, frustrated. "I had it all planned out in my head, but it's not going how it should!"

"How should it be going?" Abigail asked curiously.

"It doesn't matter, this was stupid," Cal said while dropping his hands to his sides, defeated.

"No, no it's not stupid," Abigail said, walking over to stand in front of him. "In all honesty, this is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. It's amazing."

Cal allowed her a small smile. "Really?"

"No one has ever done anything like this before. Ever."

"Promise?" Cal said, raising a hand to cup the side of Abigail's face. Abigail closed her eyes and moved her head to nuzzle Cal's hand. Opening her eyes, a soft smile playing on her face she responded. "I promise."

From her view at the window, Gillian's stomach was tied in knots. She tried to will the feeling away but the longer she watched, the harder it was to control. It amazed her that Cal could play any part to perfection; he had Abigail almost completely under his spell. It was an amazing talent that Cal had and, if his assumption was correct, a talent that Abigail herself possessed. She would be a powerful ally in the Group if they could hone her talents, and with Cal as a teacher, the sky was the limit for her.

I wish…

No. She would not allow herself to even think it. She would not.

It was then that something clicked in her head.

What if she can't be broken?

Gillian's eyes darted as the thoughts tumbled around her. Nothing on paper had shown either her or Cal a reason why Abigail should be hiding anything. Nothing on paper. If Abigail had spent her life hiding what was going on in her life, preventing anyone from breaking down her barriers…if she had already been broken too many times before…then nothing Cal was planning on doing would be enough to break her down and get to the root of her problems.

"We should have just asked her," Gillian groaned to herself. Sometimes the simple plans were the best.

Gillian thought about breaking into the scene playing out before her and putting an end to Cal's plan, but she could not. This was Cal's plan, Cal's decision – he would learn soon enough if Gillian's presumptions were right. Until then all she could do was stand there and wait.

As always.

"Now this," Cal said huskily, "is more what I had in mind." He brought his other hand up and stroked the other side of Abigail's face. He pushed both hands back, his fingers lost in her hair; only his thumbs remained on her face that he used to trace along her cheekbones.

It was then that she looked at him with squinting eyes. Just a split second. She was questioning, even unconsciously, what was going on. He had to be quick and ruthless if he was going to take her from standing on her toes to pushing her over.

Cal gently guided Abigail's face to his. Their noses briefly touched, then were resting next to each other. One of his hands left her face and light fingertips began trailing down her neck and arm. "If you want me to stop…" he let the words linger in the air.

Abigail let her hands roam up Cal's front, feeling the material of his suit beneath her hands, the rise and fall of his chest as he inhaled and exhaled. "Don't stop," she breathed.

Cal gently brushed his lips against Abigail's. Again, with a little more pressure against her lips. Finally, he allowed himself to truly kiss her –small, gentle kisses at first, his lips only just pressing hers. Kisses that lengthened intensity at a steady pace, but at his pace. His free arm snaked around her waist, the hand in her hair steadily keeping her face against his. Abigail had one of her hands at the back of Cal's head, unconsciously pulling him towards her.

Suddenly Cal broke off the kiss. Slightly panting and leaning his forehead against Abigail's he asked, "Is this all right? Do you want this?"

Abigail did not respond with words. Her hand still at the back of Cal's head she pulled him back into another kiss. Inhaling loudly, Cal backed Abigail against the truck of one of the trees in the inlet and, against his will, let himself fall into the kiss. He had not been planning on losing any control that night but right then, in a perfect kiss, even Cal Lightman could lose sight of the bigger picture and just…be.

Both Cal and Abigail continued kissing each other, hands roaming over each others bodies, small gasps and sighs permeating the silence of the inlet. Opening his eyes briefly Cal was reminded of why he was there, and why Abigail was there. It was time for a different tactic.

"Tell me all your secrets," Cal murmured into her ear.

"What?" Abigail asked, still half responding to wherever Cal's lips were, whatever they were doing.

"I want to know you," he whispered, trailing kisses down her jaw line. She gasped and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him ever closer as he hit the sweet spot on her neck.

"I think you're getting to know me pretty well," she sighed, moving her hands to either side of Cal's face, running her hands over the scruff that was always there. Squaring his face with hers, she pulled him back into a kiss that he was only too glad to reciprocate. Cal moved one of his hands to Abigail's thigh, grabbing at her dress, bunching it up in his hands, losing himself on more in the delicious kisses Abigail was offering to him.

It was yet another moment or two before Cal was able to mentally pull himself away from what was happening. A part of him did not want to continue with his plans to crack Abigail like a walnut. For a few fleeting seconds he entertained the notion of tossing caution to the wind, dragging Abigail to his house, throwing her into his bed and having his own way with her, ravaging her, making love to her in a way only an older, far more experienced man could. It was an intoxicating idea, one he was fairly sure Abigail would be more than willing to go along with at the present moment.

It was then, as fate would have it, he angled his head in such a way that he caught a glimpse of Gillian standing in a window, watching the proceedings. Their eyes met and she hurriedly walked away. Suddenly Cal was thrust into the present, his thoughts were re-aligned. He had to do what he had set out to do. Crack Abigail wide open.

He pulled away from Abigail then and she stumbled a step forward, her face following his even when he pulled away.

"How long have you been a liar, Abby?" Cal asked in his usual up front demeanor.

This stopped Abigail cold, and she pulled back from him. "What are you talking about?"

Cal pulled her back into another kiss, one more fiercely intense than the last. His hands were on either side of her face, holding her close to him. This was not the gentle, passionate kissing of the moments before. This almost felt…angry. Abigail tried to pull away but Cal kept a firm hold on her.

"This is why you have feelings for me, you know. We seek others like ourselves out. We can sense them. We can feel them," Cal almost spat out, grinding against her.

"I don't-"

"I know what you are!" Cal yelled angrily. "So just spill it already!"

"Cal!"

"You think you can pull one over on me? I'm Doctor Cal fucking Lightman!" he railed, face turning red, spittle flying. "I am sick to fucking God of you prancing around here like God's fucking gift! You were about to shag me, do you know that! Like some little office tramp!"

Abigail's face was contorted with emotion, "What the hell, Cal?!" She gasped as Cal once more backed her against a tree but this time with a painful force. Her head banged against the tree trunk, and he pressed her against the trunk with his body, a hand at her neck. "Answer me!" He screamed.

"What do you want to know?" she pleaded with him.

"Tell me the truth about you, Abigail! Now!"

Two things happened in that moment.

Abigail noticed that, for a split second, Cal's 'angry' glare did not match his 'angry' voice.

Cal noticed Abigail's eyebrow raise, jaw drop slightly and her mouth curl upwards. Surprise.

"You're…not serious?" Abigail said, shocked.

Cal pushed her back up against the tree and kissed her forcefully. Abigail put her hands to Cal's cheeks and held him in the kiss for a moment, then pushed him away, smiling. "You're playing with me!"

Leaning his forehead against the tree Cal groaned. "The yelling was too much?"

Abigail walked a few feet away, trying to put all of the pieces of the last few minutes into the places where they needed to fit. She then turned back to face Cal. "My Dad was an expert yeller," she began. "He had been brought up by expert yellers. He was an actor, a coach, and a vice principal whose main love in life was discipline. So when he yelled," she said, looking down at the ground, "and I mean really yelled, there was nothing short of a natural disaster that could stop him. He was a pain train coming into the station. He could go on and on for hours and never once would his glare falter."

Cal stood silently, listening to every word Abigail said.

"The yelling was bad enough on its own, but it was his glare. He's got these ice blue eyes and when he's glaring they could cut through steel."

Nodding, Cal looked at Abigail with interest. "I faltered," he said simply.

"And of course knowing you, you either did it unconsciously or you did it purposely to see if I'd pick up on it. Care to tell me which?" Abigail asked, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Which do you think it was," Cal cocked hi head slightly to one side.

Abigail smiled. "It doesn't matter what I think it was. It doesn't matter why you did anything you did tonight. What is it you want to know?"

"You won't tell me if I just ask you. That's not how we work."

"Well, maybe we will after having an emotional shake up."

Cal thought about this for a moment. "Are you a liar, Abby? A good liar? Addicted to lying?"

Abigail snickered harshly. "You don't mince words, do you." Cal stood still, not answering Abigail. "I am a liar," she nodded. "And I hate it."

Cal nodded silently.

A moment passed.

"Aren't you going to say anything? That's what you wanted me to say. Isn't that what this whole night was about?" Abigail questioned.

"You don't like who you are?" Cal asked. Abigail nodded in response. "And you want to change yourself?"

"Wouldn't you?" Abigail laughed.

"Don't you mean, 'didn't you?'" Cal inhaled loudly, looking intently at Abigail. "Why do you want to change, exactly?"

Abigail's eyes almost bugged out of her head. "Because I'm not normal, Cal!"

He cocked his head to one side, regarding Abigail with a studious gaze. "What is normal?"

"Are you serious?" Abigail all but shouted at him. "You're getting philosophical on me now!?"

Cal moved towards Abigail, but gave her a foot or two of space. "No, I'm not, actually," Cal replied calmly. "You see, everyone has this preconception of what normal is. There is no real baseline for 'normal'. There's no list to follow about 'yes, this is normal,' or 'no, this is not normal'. Everyone's perception of normal is different. What I think is normal might be abnormal to you."

"I think that's a guarantee right now," Abigail said sharply. "What is your point?"

Cal stood up from his chair and came around the desk, standing adjacent to Abigail. "You keep telling yourself you're not normal, that you need to change. I'm telling you that you don't."

"You can't know that," she said, shaking her head.

"I do know that. I am that," Cal responded.

Abigail had finally heard enough.

"This?" she screamed. "What goes on up here," she pointed at her head. "This is NOT NORMAL! I manipulate situations! I force people into situations they don't know they're getting into! I lie without realizing it and it is second nature for me! I don't understand it, I can't control it and it is not – IS NOT – something that everyone does. It is not normal!"

Cal grabbed Abigail's forearms and looked her square in the eyes. "I'm saying this is who you are. There is nothing wrong with that."

"It's not who I want to be!" Abigail pleaded, trying to shake Cal off. "And you telling me I'm normal, that it's all OK, is like…is like…"

"Listen to me!" Cal yelled, backing her against the table, jarring her. He inhaled and exhaled loudly. "Listen to me," he said a little more calmly. Abigail looked at him, a mix of shock and confusion on her face. "You are wasting time," he said slowly. "You are wasting your life trying to change who you are. This is who you are - this is how you were made," Cal squeezed her arms gently, his words becoming more and more impassioned with each passing second. "You are not an evil person. You are not wrong, or warped, abnormal or broken. You are who you are, Abigail, and that is not a bad thing."

Abigail shook her head slowly, eyes on the ground. "But it's not who I want to be, Cal."

"Ahh, finally. The truth comes out," Cal removed one hand from Abigail's arm and used his hand to raise her chin so she was looking up at him. "Here's a secret, love. No one is who they really want to be. If they were I'm fairly sure we here would all be out of a job." He smirked slightly, "No one lies when they're happy."

"How is this possible?" Abigail asked, feeling defeated and deflated. "How can I go through life like this? Pretend all of this is normal?"

Cal placed his hands on either side of Abigail's face again, this time as a comforting gesture. "Ah, love. You'd be surprised what a person can live with." He dropped his hands to her shoulders. "Whatever has gone on in your life has brought you this far." He leaned in and said playfully, "It's brought you to me. To all of us," he allowed. "We can help you, work with you. Whatever you want or need. But I really don't think you need help."

Abigail started to become aware of what exactly had gone on that evening. "I can't believe how you played me."

Cal lightly bounced his head from one side to the other, pursing his lips together. "I wouldn't say 'played', exactly."

"Then what would you call it, exactly?"

"I would say I manipulated you. Deceived you."

She allowed a small smile. "You lied to me."

Cal threw his hands up to the heavens, laughing. "My god, she still doesn't get it!"

Abigail chuckled softly. "So is this how you treat all new girl employees? A magical dinner date in the garden to get them to spill their secrets?"

"Yeah, sorry about that," a hint of shame crept into his voice. "I knew I'd have to be brutal to get you going." He looked at her, "D'you hate me?"

"Not exactly. Although," Abigail admitted, "things can not possibly be as embarrassing as this for me ever again."

Cal took one of her hands. "Never say that, love. Especially not to me."

"Oh my god, Eli!" Abigail exclaimed, whipping around to look behind her. Cal reached out and caught Abigail's arm, stopping her from fleeing. "He's probably left already."

Abigail stood motionless for a moment. "How many people did you tell about this?"

"Well, I'd thought about sending out a mass e-mail, but something like this is better done face to face. Cuts down on the inter-office rumours…"

"How many people?" Abigail demanded.

"Only two, and they're a trusted two. Well," Cal amended, "maybe one more than the other."

They both regarded each other for a moment. "So," Abigail started. "What happens now?"

Cal smiled at her. "Remember at Dios Mio, you said you saw a lot of yourself in me?" Abigail nodded. "You were right," he shrugged. "You might not be a natural at detecting micro expressions but that's only a part of the job. You have valuable natural tendencies that are going to come in handy in future," He cocked his head to one side, smiling, "and I am going to exploit the hell out of you."

"Oh, that sounds promising," Abigail groaned.

"Do you feel you need to talk to someone about this?" Cal asked.

Abigail sighed, "Right now I'm in a solid place all things being considered, surprisingly. Of course, I could go home tonight and have the cycle begin again. If things go the way you say they're going to, I'll never change. That doesn't mean I have to like it. So I might need to talk to someone sometime."

"I don't have a degree in Psychology, that's Gillian's thing and we can set that up if you want. But, you know," Cal said, shifting slightly in his discomfort – he hated taking about anything too personal with anyone, "if you want to talk to me, I can…listen. Talk back. I might have an idea or two about what it is you're going through."

"Or just trick me into spilling my guts." Abigail finished for him. "If I need to I'll come to you. I promise."

"I have a question for you," Cal said, eyes twinkling. "If you're so good at this, how come I was able to pick out that you had a crush on me?"

Abigail shrugged. "Maybe I wanted you to corner me on that."

Cal clapped his hands together, and then spread them wide. "Now that the tricky part of the evening is out of the way, what's say we eat?"

Abigail blinked. "Seriously?"

"Table's set, food's here. Why not? You hungry after all that?"

Inhaling and exhaling, Abigail nodded at Cal. "Famished."

Cal gentlemanly pulled out a chair for Abigail and seated her before going to his own chair and sitting down. Looking at his food he addressed Abigail, "This is going to be stone cold, isn't it?"

"Microwave?" she suggested.

"Spot on," Cal replied. They carried their plates into the building and to the communal office microwave.

Gillian didn't know what she was going to say to Cal when she saw him next. Of course, she didn't expect to see him that evening, so when he popped his head into her office the surprise was not feigned.

"All done, she's fine," he said briskly, staying in the doorway of her office. "You can go if you want, or stay. Up to you."

Standing up behind her desk Gillian said, "Cal, I need to apologize-"

"For what? You were just observing, nothing wrong with that. I did ask you to stay just in case." Cal interrupted, brushing off her apology.

They stood there on almost opposite sides of the room, regarding each other, knowing that the other knew exactly what was going on.

"I'm glad it all worked out," Gillian finally said.

"Yeah. Well, I'd better get back. Dinner's re-heating and all. Good night Doctor Foster."

Not able to meet his eyes, Gillian said meekly, "Good night, Doctor Lightman."

Cal took his leave of her office, and Gillian sat down in her chair heavily.

She allowed herself to think what she had been suppressing all night.

I wish it had been me instead of Abigail.

Cal closed the door to Gillian's office behind him and paused for a moment. He let his head fall back against the door, eyes closed. He'd seen the hurt in Gillian's eyes, but something else as well. Something he thought he'd never see from Gillian and aimed at him.

He'd seen longing.

Running a hand over his face, he slightly turned his head to the door, looking down at the doorknob. It would be so easy, just open the door and let fate take control. But he wouldn't. Cal couldn't.

He moved away from the door and walked down the hallway, leaving Gillian in her office and returning to Abigail and their re-heated dinner.