A/N: Last chapter…which is most definitely rated T with a capital T. So you have been warned. Now, thank you to all that have reviewed. Reviews are addictive, so keep em coming. And here's to Tim Roth and Kelli Williams who have so much chemistry theat one can't help but write fanfic and made fanvids.

"Come back to my hotel with me," she said, ending their first kiss, their foreheads still touching.

"We can't, Gillian," he whispered, the hand on her shoulder traveling down her back to her waist.

"Can't what?"

Cal and Gillian turned to the voice at the door, and there stood Zoe.

Untangling himself from Gillian, Cal stepped forward almost creating a human barrier between Zoe and Gillian, who still had a grip on his hand.

"What are you doing here?" Cal said, not knowing what else to say.

"Cal, can I see you outside," Zoe answered, as she looked over to Gillian, who was looking to Cal.

Cal nodded and bit his lip. Zoe walked out of the library and Cal followed glancing at Gillian over his shoulder.

Zoe sat behind Cal's desk and glared up at him. As usual, Cal stood there studying her.

"Don't you have anything to say?" she asked, almost as if she were glad to catch him in a compromising position with Gillian.

"Yeah, I kissed Foster," he said, truthfully, what was the point in lying when she'd apparently seen it.

"I believe you when you said you never had an affair while we were married, but…," Zoe said calmly. "I guess I should ask you if you're in love with her, but I think a better question would be, do you even realize that you're in love with her or have been for a long time?"

"Zo…"

"You don't do you?" she asked incredulously. "I've watched the two of you do this dance for years. I know you love me, Cal, but you haven't looked at me like that in years. The only thing that surprises me is that you would pursue a married woman and that little Miss Perfect would taint her marriage vows."

"She and Alec have separated," Cal answered, surprised by Zoe's calm demeanor. She didn't seem angry or sad, just resigned.

Zoe smiled, "Ahh, so Alec is out of the picture and we're not married, so why did you stop yourself in there? You could have had her, you didn't know I was here. The world could have fallen away in there for all the two of you knew."

"I wouldn't do that to you," he whispered.

"You've been doing it for years, Cal," Zoe said, moving from behind the desk to stand beside him. "Have you ever wondered why Gillian and I aren't particularly fond of each other? Or are you just oblivious to it? What about Alec? You and he don't exactly see eye to eye."

Zoe immediately saw the scorn on Cal's face and smiled again.

"You've just got everything figured out haven't you," Cal said, anger overtaken his feelings of guilt. "I think you're confusing and caring for a friend with some illusion you've decided is the truth. Foster is a colleague and maybe a soon to be ex-colleague."

"Surely you can call her Gillian, Cal, you did just have your tongue in her mouth," she said, reflecting his anger.

"You're trying to start something," he said pointing his finger. "Yes, I kissed Foster. I shouldn't have. She's married and we're, hell, I don't know what we are, but.."

"But what?" Zoe said, stepping even closer so that parts of their bodies were touching. "If you can stand there and tell me you want me right now, more than you wanted her…"

Cal looked at her, anger subsiding, he put his hand gently to her face…

It was all Gillian saw before slipping out the other entrance of the library. Stopping at her office long enough to grab her coat and bag, Gillian berated herself for eavesdropping. She just couldn't help herself. In a way, she was just as involved in this as they were. She just couldn't listen to anymore

Gillian never heard him say, "I won't to lie to you, Zoe."

The drive to the hotel was all a blur. She didn't remember stopping for red lights or driving into the parking garage, or even getting out of her car. Gillian didn't really feel anything again until the cold blast of air conditioning hit her in the face when she walked into her hotel room. Throwing her purse on the bureau, Gillian laid on the bed, closing her eyes, wanting to drown out of the minutia playing at her brain. But the one thing she couldn't douse was the sensation of Cal's lips on her own. It was almost as tangible now as it had been an hour ago; the way he felt with his body relaxed against hers, the smell of his cologne. The intimacy she'd lacked in most of her years of marriage to Alec had been found in Cal's arms in two minutes. But then, she'd expected that they would. The night she'd told him that she and Alec were separating, she'd seen it in his eyes.

But it seemed that Cal would always go back to Zoe. They'd shared too much and there was Emily too. Gillian had to think about herself now, her life without Alec and after tonight she knew things would never be the same between her and Cal. Working with The Lightman Group didn't hold the same appeal with out her relationship with Cal, whatever it may be.

"Dammit, Gillian," she said aloud, wiping the tears from her eyes. "You do not need a man in your life.

Gillian darted up from the bed and grabbed her phone from her bag.

Dialing the number and vowing not to lose her resolve, Gillian grabbed her suitcase from the closet and started pulling things from the dresser drawers and piling them into the case.

When she finally got a human voice on the other end, she said, "Yes, I'd like to book your first available flight to London, business class."

Gillian listened to the agent rattle off a couple of options before taking one that left in four hours. She gave the woman her information, got her confirmation number, and threw the phone on to the bed. She was going to New York, in four hours, where she would catch a connecting flight to London. Looking at her suitcase, Gillian mentally listed the rest of the things she needed to pack and in twenty minutes every personal item she had with her was in two bags and her purse. Sitting on the edge of the bed and looking through her purse for her id, she thanked God she'd had her assistant get her passport from the house when she'd gotten her other things from Alec.

Gillian heard the voice before she heard the knock.

"Foster, open the door."

Gillian crossed the floor debating her next actions the whole time. Ultimately she decided that their friendship mean way too much to both of them to let it end like this. It would be hard making a new life in London without some kind of closure with Cal.

She unlocked the door and opened it just enough before walking back into the room, Lightman following close behind. She was fortifying herself for whatever words came out of his mouth. But when she turned to face him, she barely got a glimpse of him before his mouth had descended on hers. His forcefulness scared her for a moment before she abandoned her thoughts and just concentrated on the sensation of him in her mouth. Her entire body became nerve endings powered by desire and adrenaline. His kisses were fast and hungry, just like his hands over her back and in just seconds he was pushing her jacket from her shoulders and pulling her shirt from her skirt desperately searching for skin. He ran his thumbs down her sides, moving his mouth down her neck. His thumbs tucked into the waistband of her skirt worked to pull the material up, all the time kissing her face and neck. Gillian sucked in a breath and moaned on the exhale, mounting desire making her head swim

And all of a sudden, he stopped, held her head in his hands and looked at her carefully, .

"Do you want me to stop, luv?" he whispered.

Gillian wordlessly stared back into his eyes, her hands going to his belt buckle, prying it open. She knew they needed to talk, but they both needed to feel more than anything. It was a language her body and soul understood and one she desperately wanted to teach this man that she loved.

It was all the encouragement Cal had needed. He immediately discarded his shirt wanting to feel her skin on his; he didn't bother with the buttons on Gillian's shirt just pulled it open as the buttons popped across the room. They continued the disposing of each other's clothing until finally they lay in Gillian's bed making several years fantasies come to life. Loker had once said that he didn't fantasize about married women and Cal had looked away, because the woman beneath him had been the object of many of his fantasies. They devoured each other like they'd never see each other again and acknowledging that things would never be the same between them. Fantasy became reality until both of them were spent.

Now lying in bed, Gillian had her head on his chest listening to his heart beating its soothing rhythm. Knowing that the time had come for words, Gillian sat up, gathering the sheet around her and turned to Cal.

He smiled and ran a hand down her arm, God she was gorgeous, hair messy, lip kissed, white sheet wrapped loosely around her body.

"What, luv?" he asked.

"I just want you to know that I'm not expecting this to be any more than what it is," she said.

"And what is it?" he asked, sitting up and kissing her shoulder.

She just looked at him.

"Use your words," he said kissing her on the bare shoulder again.

She smiled again, "I want you to have everything you want, and if that's Zoe..."

"It's been over with Zoe for a long time. You know I have a hard time admitting defeat," he teased running his finger tips down her spine.

"I want you to be happy," she said seriously.

"I'm happy when I'm with you…," he said, pulling her back down on the bed. "I'm happy when I'm touching you. I just thought I could never have you."

He took a minute, his mouth hovering just above hers, sharing her breath, "I am in love with you, Gillian."

A tear rolled from Gillian's eye and into her hair, "You love me?"

"Does that surprise you, luv?' he said, kissing her temple.

"No…It just surprises me that you said it," she admitted, reveling in his closeness.

He laughed. "I think you know I can be full of surprises," he said, letting her know how much he wanted her again.

"This isn't going to be easy," she said, as his lips made their way from her neck south.

"Nothing worth having ever is, Gillian," he said, pulling the sheet out from around her and pulling her to him, making sure she knew that the next few hours were just for them. And then for as long as she would let him, everyone would know how he felt about Gillian.