Disclaimer: If Axis Powers Hetalia were mine, I wouldn't need to write fanfics. If any of these songs were mine, I wouldn't be writing fanfics.

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Minimal fluff 09!

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Sibling Rivalry 5

"Well, I've finally done it," Romano announced, throwing open the door to his house. Italy, who had been sitting around idly as he always did, turned from the couch to the door.

"What happened?" he asked cheerfully, happily noticing his brother was in an unusually good mood, which meant the rest of the day could go by smoothly. Usually, at least.

"You know how everyone calls me cute? Well, at least Spain does…" Romano's expression darkened for a moment and Feliciano fretted between diving for cover or apologizing profusely although he had done nothing wrong. "Anyway, regardless…but today is different." Romano grinned proudly and gestured to himself. "Today, someone called me sexy."

Feliciano stared at him. Romano continued. "I was hanging around the plaza and talking to some girls and usually…you know the local girls…they sort of flirt around and it's all really cute. But this girl, this beautiful brunette…she just looked at me, smiled, and said, 'Hey there, sexy'." Pausing to note Feliciano's reaction, Romano frowned when there was none. "Well?"

"Yes?" Feliciano said, returning to staring at the cracks on the ceiling.

"You don't seem surprised."

"Yeah, well, it's not something too out of the ordinary, is it?" Romano smiled for a second, willing to take that as a compliment before scowling again. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Feliciano sat up. "You mean this is the first time someone's called you sexy?"

The look on Romano's face seemed to twitch. "Don't even go there, Feliciano. Don't even open your mouth and say what I think you're going to say…"

Feliciano shrugged. "When I was in Berlin with Germany some time ago, there were a bunch of pretty German girls and they all said I was sexy. And then when we went into this bar place, a bunch of guys said I was too. Germany was a little mad about that, but I told him it was okay, I was used to it."

"It's different for you, you little maggot!" Storming over to the couch and taking Feliciano in a choke hold, Romano went on. "They only think you're sexy in a girl kind of way! That is disgusting since you're a guy."

"No!" Feliciano protested feebly, trying to struggle out of his brother's grip. "Romano, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said anything!"

"Well, you did you brat. People don't outwardly tell me I'm sexy because my sexiness is too overwhelming for them to say anything."

"Right, right," Feliciano said quickly, hoping that his brother would finally let some air through his windpipe.

"Dammit, in fact, you're not sexy at all! Girls just say that to you because they feel sorry for you, since you go around with that potato bastard all the time!"

"No!" Feliciano started thrashing. "You're wrong! I am sexy, you're just jealous! And I asked Germany too, and he said I was too!"

"Psh. In your dreams, dammit."

"Aag, first of all, I can't breathe!" Romano tightened the choke hold.

"I've got more sex appeal than you, stupid little brother. You barely have your eyes open half the time anyway! And all you do is cry!"

"No! No, no, no!" At this, Feliciano burst into tears and Romano relinquished his hold in order to keep his brother quiet. Feliciano quickly scampered into a safer distance before facing his brother. "Romano, you barely get out. All the people you see all day is just Spain! You don't know what the girls out there like! They like guys like me!"

"You act like a queer sometimes, Feliciano."

"Didn't you know girls like gay guys?!"

"That's just Hungary, Feliciano."

"Fine! Let's go ask someone! You frown too much, though. It might not be fair."

"Shut up, bastard! Fine! Let's go ask someone!"

At once, the twins dashed out to scout some girls out. To their dismay, every single girl they approached blushingly told them they were on the same level, as they looked close to identical. The twins had nearly the same tactic when it came to charm and they befuddled every girl they asked.

"This isn't going to solve anything!" Romano burst out as they made their way back to their house. "I'm definitely not on the same level as you, you potato-wannabe! It won't work if we ask normal people."

"Maybe we should ask a country, then," Feliciano suggested.

"Which, though? Most of them wouldn't want to bother about something stupid like this: England would tell us off, America would insist he beats both of us, Russia would attack us, the Asians don't say things like that on a regular basis. And don't even think of asking France," Romano warned, pointing at Feliciano who was starting to open his mouth. "France will do anything. I mean, anything. It wouldn't be fair either. No Germany or Spain because they'll be biased."

Feliciano stared at him. "I have an idea, brother…"

--

Prussia smiled to himself as he leaned back in his chair. It was strange all together to have both Italy twins show up at his door – Feliciano was not attached onto his brother like usual and Romano wasn't instantly kicking him in his vital regions, so things were good, right? "So what can I do for you two?" the albino asked, his red eyes flashing excitement.

The twins exchanged looks. "We'd like to propose an alliance," Feliciano started slowly. "But you can only pick one of us."

"Really? Aren't you two connected, though?"

"You hardly count as a country to be aligned to," Romano said, rolling his eyes. Prussia's eyes narrowed. "But we'll take your help anyway."

Prussia raised his eyebrows. "Thank you for that insult, Romano. It shouldn't really be hard which part of Italy I should pick then. But both of you sort of suck…Feliciano, although you're nice and everything, you can hardly go around without West. And Romano…your place is practically overrun with the mafia. It's a lose-lose situation."

At almost syncing speed, the twins' faces grew matching smiles. Prussia blinked as Feliciano slid onto the right arm rest and Romano onto the left. "Come on, Prussia~" Feliciano chirped sweetly, sliding a hand up the albino's shirt. "I really need your help~"

Prussia was about to sputter out a shocked reply when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his neck and Romano leaned in closer, purring. "Forget him, Prussia…can you help me out instead?"

"It's really nice where I live," Feliciano continued, nuzzling into the spot at the crook of Prussia's neck. "It's really sunny all the time. It feels really nice on your skin…" Breathing a soft, hot breath on Prussia's neck, Feliciano smiled as the ex-nation shivered.

"We live in the same place," Romano reminded him, gentler than usual as he brought his mouth close to Prussia's ear. "But if you help me out, you can stay in my room…"

Damn! Although on the outside, Prussia was (trying to be) collected, inwardly he was celebrating. How many times had he sorta/kinda dreamt about something like this, one hot twin snuggling on his right arm and one hot twin cuddling up to him on his left. He had to tread carefully, this might possibly be a dream!

"Won't you please help me out?" Feliciano asked, sounding cute. "Prussia…" Wrapping his arms around the now antsy albino, the younger Italy scooted closer.

"What about West?" Prussia managed to choke out. He was a bit more preoccupied with certain other parts of the world, certain vital regions, but he had to regain his family ties…right?

"I'm sure Germany's okay with sharing," Feliciano whispered, his breath hot on Prussia's ear. He glanced over at Romano with a faint triumphant expression.

"Oh, I don't know about that," Romano said, glaring at his brother as Prussia seemed torn as to which twin to look at. "After all, he nearly married you, didn't he? But me, on the other hand…" Taking a big leap, Romano settled himself on Prussia's lap, chuckling slightly at the poke on his thigh. "I have no strings attached."

"Y-yeah, but what about Spain…?"

"What about him?" Romano smiled seductively as he leaned closer, his lips ghosting over Prussia's. "You know I never particularly liked him in the first place."

His mind was going on overload. Feeling his head go fuzzy from all the spinning, Prussia decided he'd have to attend to himself before he let guilt take over. Pressing his lips against Romano's, he took his arm from Feliciano's grasp and wrapped it around the elder Italy. Feliciano blinked in surprise as he watched Prussia make out with his brother and his brother actually returning the favor, keeping his arms around the albino's neck. Presently, he felt his brother kick him, as if to say, 'Go-away-we're-done-here'.

"But…but…" Feliciano felt himself tear up in dismay as Prussia and Romano engaged in another wet kiss. This was going too far, wasn't it? He didn't think he could break them up at this point. Mustering up his brainpower, he found an easy way to stop this battle he was losing.

"Spain!" Feliciano cried, shouting the nation's name loudly. At this sudden outburst, Prussia and Romano broke apart, although they were still a bundle of arms and legs. "You idiot," Romano snapped, his face flushed, "Spain can't hear you."

The door burst open, and as if he had been waiting outside all the time to listen for his cue to enter, Spain tumbled into the room breathlessly. "Italy! What's wrong?" His face darkened like a husband discovering a wife's affair as he noticed Prussia and Romano at unholy proximities to each other. Marching across the room, he plucked Romano from Prussia's lap. "Prussia! What do you think you're doing?"

"I was only making out with Romano," Prussia said meekly, staring up at his friend. Spain glowered. "Well, I can't help it if Romano's sexy!"

Romano's face lit up.

"Yes, but although that is true, that doesn't mean you can go about molesting him, Prussia." Turning to Romano, Spain activated his devoted default. "Romano, are you okay? He didn't hurt you did he?"

"No. Do you really think I'm sexy?"

Spain stared at him. "Yes," he said truthfully. "You're cute too."

Romano turned to Feliciano with a haughty expression. "I win," he said simply. "Let's go, Spain." He strolled out of the room very professionally, with Spain following him in a confused state and Prussia calling out, "Wait! Can't we share him?"

When the two left, Prussia sighed before turning to Feliciano. "Well then, does that mean we're in an alliance?"

"Um…no…I don't think Germany would like that a lot."

Prussia wilted, both inside and out. It really was too good to be true after all.

Feliciano: 2 Romano: 3

Owari

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Note: As the Italy twins are cute, I wouldn't particularly call Feliciano sexy…so Romano wins this round. And I heard all your cries, you closeted fans of Prussia/Romano! So yes, I as well do fan service! But really, I picked Prussia because although some play him off as a France-like character, I think he really would be able to pick instead of being like France and offering a threesome. You like? Review, please!