Author's Note: I don't own Hetalia, nor do I mean any offence to any countries and their citizens.

"You know, I kind of feel bad," Alfred said in one of his rare moments of clarity. Francis blinked; he had been staring at Arthur's derriere the last ten minutes. Meanwhile Alfred spouted on about being a hero and how great capitalism is and on and on and on. The words jerked him back into reality though. America? Actually sorry for something? This should be interesting.

"Mm," he agreed pretending he had been listening the whole time, "Yes, it's a shame."

"Yeah," Al nodded rubbing the back of his head, "I mean, because of my awesomeness everyone forgets about him, so other than me, he has no one to hang out with."

Francis blinked, "Who?" damn he was caught in his inattention.

"Canada, Matthew, you raised him for awhile, he speaks French, has your hair. Remember?" Ah, not so caught after all.

"Oui! Of course! Matthieu," Francis nodded. Then he paused, "What do you mean he has no friends?" Yes, he and Matthieu hadn't been all that close since the whole Expo 67 Vive le Quebec Libre incident; however he was pretty sure that he wasn't that out of touch with the Canadien.

Alfred rolled his eyes, "Your really don't pay attention do you? Matthew doesn't really do much with you and Arthur anymore, the only one he really talks to is me," He explained, "Maybe I should be a brotherly hero and—"

Francis, not wanting to hear any stories about Alfred's plans on being a hero interrupted him.

"Matthieu has friends," He said. Yes, he was sure of it.

Alfred blinked at being interrupted, "No he doesn't!" he protested.

Francis smirked, who's the one not paying attention now?

"Yes he does, just ask him. I see Matthieu with others all the time."

"Who!?" Alfred seemed morally outraged that his plans to be a hero were hindered by his brother's audacity of not needing one.

"Your brother...Matthieu."

"No I mean with him! Who is friends WITH him!?"

That, Francis didn't know. Time to do what he does best.

"Oh would you look at the time, tea time, I'd better get to the kitchen before Arthur insists on trying to cook!" The Frenchman ran off.

"... Francis!" Alfred protested, but he was gone. He shrugged and scanned the room.

"Hey Al."

"Not now, I'm trying to find someone, don't bother me!"

If Francis wouldn't tell him he'd just ask Matthew himself. It took a good ten minutes to spot the Canadian. He had been standing across from Alfred snacking on some o'dourves the entire time.

"Matthew!"

Matthew blinked at Alfred's shocked tone.

"Um... yes?"

"I've been looking for you!"

Matthew gave him a long, slightly upset look.

"What?"

"You said that you were busy looking for someone when I said hello. You told me not to bother you..."

"Oh."

OH...

Ah...

"I was! But um... they're not here, so... I—"

"Didn't know it was me in the first place," Matthew sighed gloomily, a resigned look etched on his face. He was used to this, but really, his own brother; they live beside each other for goodness sakes!

"Sorry Matt, I know who you are... I just get swept up in my own awesomeness sometimes."

Matthew snorted...which Alfred didn't seem to notice.

"But," The American continued, "I promise, from this day forward I'll pay much more attention to you! I know it gets lonely up there, and since I'm the only one who ever seems to visit nowadays I think it's necessary that I look after you! You're my little brother after all." He ended with his Heroic Smile. No one could resist his Heroic Smile.

Instead of swooning with appreciation like he was expected to, Canada just looked mildly pleased and polite.

"No, no, that's not necessary, really I don't get lonely. I've got people over all the time." It almost seemed like Canada was protesting a little TOO much, but then again perhaps Matthew was worried that his awesomeness would be too much for him in large doses, and so was trying to hid it behind ill constructed lies. People at Matthew's house, hah.

"Kumajiro and beavers don't count Matthew," He tried to break this gently, but really just sounded like an arrogant jerk.

"I-I know that!" Matthew stuttered flushing a bit at his brother's words. He picked up the aforementioned bear that was currently snacking on shrimp. He held the ball of fluffy white tightly to his chest like a shield, "It's not like I don't have any friends! You didn't think that you're the only person I spend time with did you?"

There was a long silence and Matthew's thoughts were confirmed.

Alfred, as he was want to do, snapped first.

"Alright then, name these imaginary countries of yours!" So much for being understanding...

"Fine, Cuba," Canada crossed his arms.

"Pfft," America shook his head, "He's always mistaking you for me. What kind of a friend is that?" Besides, he thought to himself, he's a commie.

Canada gave him a withering look.

"China."

"Yao just likes crashing at your place because it's so big and spacious," Alfred scoffed, besides, he's a red.

"Korea."

"Same as Yao, he just likes your house and your stuff." Not to mention Alfred was pretty sure that he was at least half communist.

"I play hockey with Ivan all the time."

"WHAT?! THAT CREEPY RUSKIE COMMUNIST?!"

...

Wait a minute... Cuba, China, Korea and... Russia?

"THOSE ARE ALL COMMUNIST COUNTRIES!!!" he said pointing accusingly at his brother. Matthew blinked.

"So?"

"So? SO?! Better dead than red! Remember?!"

"Uh, that's your doctrine, not mine..."

"Next you'll be telling me going to war with Vietnam was a mistake!"

"I have already... I tried to stop you and Francis from doing stupid things like going to war against her, remember? And that time you shook me for an hour just because my boss suggested you leave her alone? Ring any bells at all? You know all those citizens that didn't show up for duty? They're at my house..."

Silence.

"Alfred?"

His... his baby brother, he knew that he didn't pay much attention... but... but communists!? They had crept up right under his nose and were trying to steal Canada from Capitalist bliss!!!

"Alfred? Are you alright?"

"Quick!" He suddenly said snapping out of his stupor, "Do you have any sort of 'social(ist) programming?' some sort of government sanctioned hand out?"

"Um, free healthcare?"

It was worse than he thought.

Author's notes: Gah... first hetalia fanfic. Hopefully not bad...

Historical events, kinda accurate but they're not chronologically correct in any way shape or form. They were just thrown together into one big blob of communism (kolkolkolkolkol)

I wish I could post this on the hetalia kink meme but that forum scares and confuses techno-illiterate me.

You can play spot the history, fail!author is going to bed.