Hello, and welcome to "Truth or Dare: the Parody!". This was born out of frustration for all the crappy ToD fics there are out there. I mean...seriously! Do the authors compare notes or something? Because I can't think of any other explanation for why all of them have the EXACT. SAME. PLOT.
Remember, this is a PARODY. It's not meant to be serious, and the characters are *supposed* to be OOC. That said, enjoy. ^_^
It was an ordinary day at camp. Percy was sword fighting shirtless and Annabeth was acting disgustingly OOC and swooning over him, Grover was eating tin cans, Luke was planning world domination, and Thalia was off somewhere acting all Huntressy with Artemis. Oh, and Nico was hanging around a graveyard acting depressed. None of them knew that in just a few short minutes their life would change forever...and not really for the better.
-cue the dramatic music-
"HEY, GUYS!!" Silena screamed, running up to Percy and Annabeth. (The author couldn't bring herself to spell it "Selina", as so many do.) "WANT TO COME DOWN TO THE APHRODITE CABIN AND PLAY TRUTH OR DARE?! FOR SOME REASON THE CABIN IS DESERTED TODAY!! COME ON, IT WILL BE FUN!! BECKENDORF WILL BE THERE, TOO!! AND EVERYONE ELSE!! COME ON, LET'S GO!!"
As it turned out, it didn't matter whether or not Percy and Annabeth wanted to play. Silena wasn't going to take no for an answer (she simply flashed a super sharp nail and smirked at their refusal), and then grabbed them and dragged them along. Once they had been unceremoniously dumped inside the Aphrodite cabin-"Hey!" Percy had protested, "Is that any way to treat the future savior of the world?!"-Silena went back to fetch Grover and Juniper.
"Oof!" Grover groaned as he was dumped on top of Percy. "I didn't know she was that strong; did you?"
"No," Percy answered truthfully. "Maybe she's been working out or something."
"Or maybe," Juniper squealed. "she's on steroids!!!!"
"Steroids?!" Percy, Annabeth, and Grover turned as one to stare at the hyperactive tree nymph.
"Yeah, steroids. I saw a program about it on TV," Juniper replied, the author completely disregarding the fact that there was no way she would have had access to a TV.
"Um...whatever," said Percy, deciding it best to change the subject. "So. What's-" Before he could finish his thought, Thalia was thrown on top of him.
"Ouch! What have you been eating, rocks?"
"Why, is your head missing some?"
"Enough of the witty banter," Annabeth interjected. "Can we leave now? I want to drool over shirtless!Percy more." Thalia rolled her eyes.
Annabeth shot her a look. "Admit it! You like Percy, don't you?"
"Um. Yeah. I love Percy, he's my soulmate and all that bullshit. No, you idiot! I'm madly in love with Luke, duh!" Thalia's voice quivered as she thought of dear, sweet, sensitive Luke, who had only committed several grave crimes and murders and such.
Since the author was getting bored with the story, she randomly threw Nico, Clarisse, and Grover in and then tossed in Beckendorf for good measure.
"SIT IN A CIRCLE, EVERYONE!" Silena ordered, sounding scarily like a kindergarten teacher. Everyone obediently did so. "NOW WE'RE GOING TO PLAY..." The empty headed bimbo grinned widely. "TRUTH OR DARE!!!! SQUEEEEE!!!"
"Could someone please tell Silena to stop it with the caps lock and exclamation points?" Nico grumbled. "It's ruining my air of emo-ness."
"Silena, please stop it with the caps lock and exclamation points," Beckendorf advised. "It's ruining my air of emo-ness."
"No, not YOUR air of emo-ness, MY air of emo-ness."
"Yes, that's what I said. MY air of emo-ness."
"No, no. Ah...forget it." Nico scowled and flopped down in his seat. Beckendorf followed instructions to the letter and promptly forgot it, along with his name, his age, and what he was doing there. (From Mount Olympus, Hephaestus scowled down at the author who had, yet again, made unfair generalizations about Hephaestus kids based on their appearance.)
"WHATEVER!!" yelled Silena. "OKAY, ANNABETH GOES FIRST!!! ANNABETH!! TRUTH OR DARE????!!!" (The readers winced at the caps lock.)
"Truth," Annabeth murmured, batting her eyelashes and Percy and making kissy-lips at him.
"YAY!! TRUTH!! OKAY...UM...ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH PERCY?"
Annabeth blushed daintily. "Why, yes, I am. Madly. Truly. Deeply. Disgustingly." She moved a little closer to Percy, who stared at her and edged away.
"OHMYGODS!! DID YOU GUYS HEAR THAT?! ANNABETH IS IN LOVE WITH PERCY! OHMYGODS! THAT'S SO SWEET!! THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER!!!" Silena sighed. "ANYWAY. GROVER, YOU CAN ASK PERCY. GO ON, ASK HIM!!"
"Um, okay," Grover squeaked, cowed by Silena's enthusiasm and excess punctuation. "Percy: truth or dare?"
"Dare," Percy said with a smirk. "HA! Now you can't get me to admit I like Annabeth!" Thalia rolled her eyes.
"Dare, then." Grover nodded sagely and tried to think. "Uh..."
Suddenly, Silena snuck up behind him, reached around, and yanked his cheeks out so that his mouth was stretched open. In her best Grover!imitation, she squeed, "KISS ANNABETH!!!!"
"Can I have my face back now?" Grover mumbled. Silena quickly let go and ran back to her seat, smiling.
"Whoa, whoa, WHOA! G-man! What's up with wanting me to kiss Annabeth?" Percy, unfortunately, wasn't intelligent enough to figure out who had been the mastermind behind that particular dare. Grover flinched. "Uh..."
"Whatever," Percy mumbled.
"EEE!!" yelled Silena. "OHMYGAWDS!! THEY'RE GOING TO KIIIIISSS!!!"
Percy and Annabeth turned as one to glare at her. Then: "Well, fine, whatever, just let me get this over with..." muttered Annabeth. She approached Percy and then kissed him on the lips. Madly. Passionately. Deeply. Nauseatingly. Percy kissed her back, and the two started a full-fledged make out session.
Silena batted her eyelashes. "OHMYGAWDS YOUNG LOVE IS SOOOOOOOO CUTE!"
After several long minutes, in which Silena sighed and batted her eyelashes some more, Grover tried not to vomit, Thalia wrinkled her nose and looked away, Juniper acted completely oblivious, Clarisse snickered uncontrollably and took pictures to use as blackmail, Nico joined Grover in swallowing his bile, Beckendorf stared vacantly at the wall, and anyone else who was there for any other reason disappeared because the author didn't need them any more, the two broke apart.
Annabeth smiled OOCly at Percy and, taking her cues from Silena, batted her eyelashes at Percy. Percy smiled OOCly back and stumbled back to his seat.
"SEE WHAT FUN TRUTH OR DARE CAN BE?!" Silena squeed. "THALIA, YOU'RE UP NEXT!!" Everyone turned expectantly toward her.
"Truth," Thalia muttered.
"YAY, TRUTH!! OKAY...DO YOU LOVE LUKE?!!!"
Reviews and CC are love and flames are amusing. But remember, it's not supposed to be serious! (And did you admire my masterful use of the evil cliffy? -snicker-)
Thanks for reading!
~Aish Sheva