A/N: I wanted to do a selection of one shots set during the season 4 arc story of Raven, I guess it will be a good practice too to try some different styles and such to see what I'm comfortable writing in, so feedback would be super helpful. This first one is set around the 'Birthmark' episode starting just after Slade dropped Raven off the building and Robin caught her, (though what was Slade thinking? What if Robin hadn't been there? He'd have to go back to Trigon and be like "so are you sure you needed your daughter alive for this whole portal thing?" I thought Slade was supposed to be smart.

In Between: Birthmark

The air has stopped pounding in my ears, someone has there arm around my back and there is a gritty surface beneath me. Where am I? I open my eyes but it takes a few seconds for my head to stop spinning and the rushing colours to stop being blurry, I focus and see Robin. Thank Azar, he's okay, I sense bruised ribs but at least he's okay.

"Let's go home." He says exactly what I want to hear, well maybe not exactly "you must have had a nightmare and sleep-walked out here," would be more welcomed, but since when was I the optimist. I try to get up but even with Robin's help everything get's dizzy again; it feels like thick smoke is in my lungs and my skin is burning.

"Raven?" I push him away thinking that he might catch on fire off my skin, what's wrong with me? I'm not thinking straight, I'm back on my knees, kneeling and I can feel the marks that Slade branded me with. They feel alive under my skin, I scratch at myself but the red marks my finger nails leave look just like writing. Robin lays a hand on my shoulder and hunkers down to my level, he looks at me intently, I can tell even through the mask.

"Raven, you have to tell me: what did Slade do to you?" I try to concentrate, on his face and on his words and the visions start fade, come on Raven, you're stronger than this, and you have more control. I take a deep breath; a shaky one but I feel better and the city feels real once more; there are people down below strolling around in the night as if there world wasn't about to come crumbling down around them. At the sound of Robin's voice my attention snaps back;

"Did he... did he violate you?" I suddenly notice the condition that I'm in: my clothes are just tatters around me: I've never felt this naked before.

"No... He didn't touch me that way. He just... had a message for me." My tone is listless and I sense a doubt inside Robin but he doesn't question me, whether because of his discomfort or my own I don't know and I'm too drained to reassure him. Slade may not have touched me but my body is no longer my own: it's his, my father's and always has been, I guess I just wanted to forget that for a while. I'm not a person... I'm just his portal.

I feel Robin drape his cape across my shoulders, I'm still kneeling in the dirt and my knees hurt. I tug the black and yellow material around me and it may not be as long as my cloak but I feel safer inside. He's calling the other Titan's; Cyborg speaks to the monitor in his arm; I'm relieved to hear that they got out of the factory without harm. Robin asks for Cyborg to bring the T car to our position, he says I've been hurt and that Slade got away. I stand up and make it this time; I brush the gravel from my knees and shins.

"Robin," he turns to me and I've got his and Cyborg's attention, "I'm fine... I was just disorientated. What with Slade coming back from the dead with his new powers and then stopping time, I just..." I sigh, I know they don't believe me but they're confused and I can't tell them, not yet. "I'll fly home, I just want to get home and it'll be quicker."

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Slade isn't still out there."

Robin isn't consoled and the T car is already on its way, "What did he do to you Raven, that mark, the powers; they're all connected aren't they?" All I can do is shrug, I can't do this now so I do what I always do: I reign in my emotions, with the prophecy at hand I can't afford the tiniest of slip ups and by the time the others arrive I'm a closed book again.

I sit at the front next to Cyborg for a change because I can't stand the closeness of everyone in the back seats. With a look from Robin that even Beast Boy understands no one asks me anything and the trip back to the tower is a silent but bleak one.

It's the day after and as normal I wake early, but everything isn't normal anymore.

The party last night was a sweet effort but their attempts to cheer me up couldn't hide their concern that laced the evening. And I guess that no matter how much ice cream you eat it doesn't change that you're a monster inside, still, Cyborg had gotten chocolate fudge cookie dough surprise so it was worth the try.

As I shower and get dressed I'm glad no one else is up, I figure I must have gotten two hours sleep but I'm not tired and there's something I have to do this morning. I look at myself in the bathroom mirror and wipe the condensation away; sometimes I see shapes in mirrors; I haven't told the others- I have enough creepy habits. But all mirrors are magic in a small way, not many will suck you into peoples' minds or other dimensions but any mirror can be used to show you truth and lies if you know how. My reflection is scarred with red scripter, in the mirror it looks like it hovers just above the surface of my skin but I can feel it underneath like it's burnt into my soul. The left over steam clouds the mirror again and as I watch myself disappear I see four sharp red eyes and I know he is mocking me.

I manage to sneak away from the tower at about 5:30 and the sun is rising on a new age, hopefully the other Titans will think I'm sleeping in and I can be back before they realise I've gone. My destination is the church Robin and I sought momentary refuge in and Slade managed to do a lot of damage. I'll do what I can to fix it but the priest deserves a reason at least.

The church is quite beautiful from the outside and the stain glass windows catch the first rays of the day. Inside it's a different story; most of the pews have been destroyed and there are charred traces of fire in the wood; there are some deep cracks in the stone flooring and the air smells clogged. As I walk to the altar my footfalls are muffled by ash and the only sound I can hear is my own breathing, this place has lost its spirit: it is like a dead thing now. The altar is mostly undamaged and statues of the icons are untainted by the previous night's destruction, I feel the sudden need to pray which is something I haven't done since the day I fell from Azarath.

"Why am I the way I am?" it's not really much of a prayer more of a plea. I'm sixteen years old and my destiny was written before I was born, I've never had the freedom to choose my own fate and I had hoped that by joining the Titans that I could change what I am.

"Why am I denied the emotions all other possess?" Starfire bears her emotions instantly without worrying about the consequences; she told me once that it is the nature Tamaranians to trust their first instincts and feelings because they are the truest. Not I, I'm trapped on a knife edge: unable to deny or ignore my emotions in case they lash out subconsciously and at the same time control and lock them away. For the first fifteen years of my life I felt nothing. I grew up in a temple raised by the monks of Azarath who were kind and polite but little else; I was told the gravity of my situation as soon as I was old enough to understand and as my powers grew I was taught to control them and myself. My reverie is broken by footfalls behind me and I turn and see the priest.

"I am sorry, I am not of this faith I do not belong here." He perches himself on one of the unbroken pews and signals me to sit next to him. He's an old guy but I sense that he is youthful spirited, I like his face because it shows his kindness.

"Of course you do. If something is wrong maybe I can help. Will you let me?"

"No, it's complicated; you can't understand what is wrong with me." Despite his open and honest character, what am I going to do: break down and cry and pour out the contents of my heart? I should be crying or terrified but I'm just numb like the eye of a storm and I can't help but wonder what kind of person does that make me?

"Frankly you'd be surprised, please, Raven give me a chance."

"You know me?"

"The Teen Titans make the news enough for even an old timer priest like me to have heard of you. You do good work, good things. Please stay, everyone is welcome here." He pats my hand and it feels like paper.

"Even Satan's daughter?" he hesitates but pats my hand again, I guess this wasn't the teenage dilemma he'd expected, "Raven, you do not carry the sins of your father he cannot make you an image of himself." I want to believe him. My soul is linked to him and my rage personifies itself in his image and through me, his precious little gem, he'll ascend onto this plane destroying everything that I had begun to care about. I couldn't bear to let him hurt them.

"You're not alone and when you learn this you see too that there is always hope."

Hope. I remember the first time I felt hope; it was when I first met the others before we were titans and before I knew what friendship meant. I cross my legs on the pew and take a deep meditating breath and pull my senses together inside myself and it's then I realise that my hope had never left me.

"I appreciate your advice, Father." And despite everything I start to feel a little better, "though I actually came here to help you. The destruction of your church was my fault and I'd like to help repair what damage that I can."

"I'm assuming this wasn't the random act of vandals like I had first thought, they usually don't come back and offer to clean up."

"I was being chased but I couldn't run from him and he was too strong to fight. He was sent from hell and I had thought that I might have been safe in your church. I was wrong so it's my responsibility to do something." The tower has been turned upside down and inside out by various attacks enough times that fixing things with my powers has become easier. I take up a position at the front of the church and levitate while I concentrate on spreading my power. My dark energy wraps itself around every object that touches the floor and I levitate them a couple of feet of the ground, "do you have a broom or something?"

The priest gapes at me a little, I guess it's because civilians don't get see the Titans use our powers this close and part of what my power is consists of sorcery and witchcraft. I'm glad people don't try and burn witches anymore though I read somewhere that they also tried putting them in barrels of honey, did they not like sugar? He fetches me a broom which I quickly encase in energy and send whizzing around the stone floor collecting pools of ash and shards of glass.

Within an hour we've done what we could; I managed to fix most of the pews by tapping into some internal energy of the wood and helping it grow over some of the charred areas but they'll need to be varnished again and there is little I can do about the cushions and bibles. We sit for a break and he brews us some tea and we talk for a bit, it's strange because sometimes it can be easier to speak with someone you don't know than with your closest friends. His name is Father Peter Mallory and I find his opinions on philosophy and metaphysics fascinating, I tell him that my soul exists in-between the planes of reality of this one and the afterlife. He scoffs at me in disbelief;

"So the mystery of death is not such a mystery to you?"

"I wouldn't say that, it's an individual experience and a surprise for everyone."

When I leave he asks me one last question: "in knowing your fate, does it bring you comfort or fear?" I think for a moment to whether if my fate was of a different consequence would I want to know and in doing so what it could mean.

"It depends on who is writing your fate." He smiles and tells me to trust in God.

My name is Raven, daughter of Trigon.

I'm going to destroy the world.

I've always known it.

But I won't just give in.

Disclaimer: I don't own the series or the comics.

A/N: thumbs up to those who noticed that the beginning of the scene with Father Peter Mallory was from the comics (Terror incognito if you'd like to know) I took some of the dialogue and expanded it, in the comic Raven is distressed about her powers when she attacks Kid Flash after she is tricked by an illusionist into believing that he is Trigon. It's just a short scene where she questions what she is and I thought it might fit in well here.

I've not written anything in first person before, or really in present tense I find it more natural to write in third person past tense but if you don't try then you can't learn. Though I think it made the writing quite choppy and I should be jailed by the grammar police for abuse to the colon and semi colon, not to mention the common comma. Microsoft word may not have spazzed out but then that's not necessarily a good reflection on my grammar. Also I hope the narrative managed to sound at least a little bit like Raven because she's such a developed character that everyone has their expectations of her.

Please review and leave feedback as it is welcomed and extremely helpful.