Lawl, no plot.

Thanks to IReal70 for giving me permission to do this, even if it is just a silly one-shot.

Here's the link to her drawing: http : / / ireal70. Deviantart . com / art / I-have-a-question-for-you- 120168440

Without the spaces, of course.

© Kishimoto

ACTUAL PLOT AND JOKES © IReal70

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One year into the Akatsuki, and Deidara could say he felt damn proud of himself.

He hadn't lost a limb yet, and he had only had three near-death experiences!

Compared to Hidan, who experienced both on a daily basis, he felt very, very proud and his ego level was through the roof.

However, one thing that continued to nag him from time to time was the fact that his master, Sasori, did not like to be out of Hiruko at any given moment.

Of course, he'd seen what he'd actually looked like: Brown eyes, red hair, a bit shorter than Deidara himself, which caused the blonde much amusement due to the fact that his master, who was sixteen years older than himself, was two centimeters shorter.

He giggled the entire day.

But now, he was wondering why his master would stay in that large shell of a puppet all the time. It wasn't very...conspicuous, and was a good giveaway when they were on missions. Protective, true, but Deidara had proved that it wasn't always that protective.

The two were coming back from a mission, taking a small break by a river, scroll hidden safely away in Hiruko with Sasori. Deciding that now was a better time than never to satisfy his curiosity, Deidara flickered his eyes over to Sasori.

"'Ey Sasori-Danna...I have a question for you."

'Oh great, another one of his idiotic questions...' Sasori grumbled.

"What is it this time, brat?"

"Well...I'm...I'm really curious, because now that we're having a short break, I've noticed something, Danna. I wonder...if I have your complete trust, which I do, and I'm the only one in Akatuski who knows what you really look like, why are you still hidden inside Hiruko, un? I've seen that you always do the same thing on missions. Are...are you sure that you really feel comfortable in there all the time?"

Sasori was silent, and Deidara scoffed.

'Tch! Ignored as always...'

'Sorry Deidara, but there are things you're better off not knowing.'

Deidara stood up, looking down on the shell, "You ready to go back?"

"Give me a second."

Inside Hiruko, Sasori was masturbating.

'Just keep standing there, my little blonde bitch...'

While Sasori fapped away, Deidara stared on quizzically as he saw Hiruko shake violently. The blonde raised his eyebrow slowly, wondering just what the hell was going on.

"Uh...are...are you alright, Sasori-Danna?"

"YESSSS!" Sasori hit the spot, if you know what I mean, and laid back in Hiruko, trying to catch his breath.

"...Danna..." Deidara said blandly, his face mixed with disgust, blandness, and a bit of flattery, "...Danna, did you just orgasm."

"...No."

"Yes you did."

"No I did not."

"The hell you didn't! You sound exactly like me when I jack off! So who were you jacking off to, un? Itachi? Hidan? Konan?"

"No, no, no. Deidara, I was not masturbating. Can we just move? Jesus..."

Deidara used his body a shield to keep Sasori from moving. In all actuality, it was a very stupid idea.

"Sasori-danna, you will tell me who the hell you were jerking off to, un!"

"It was you, okay! Now can we get going, please!"

Thump.

'Ah shit...'

"WHAT."

"Yes, yes, let's move along now." Sasori said, obviously wanting the conversation to be over and done with.

"WHAT."

"Shut the hell up, Deidara."

"I-I-I-....you were masturbating to me?! That's so...gay!"

"Hypocrite." Sasori said gruffly.

"Hey! As a superflat artist," Sasori snorted at the 'artist' remark, "we do not endorse homosexuality."

"You're just in denial, brat."

"I am not!"

"You do know that 'danna' also means husband, right? You could've just called me Sasori-Sama."

Deidara turned bright red, "Shut up, un!" The blonde's red face died down, and his eyebrows furrowed, "Wait, aren't you a puppet? How the hell are you masturbating?"

"Idiot, I have a jutsu that allows me to change between human and puppet form. I don't use it much, though. I decided to be spontaneous today."

"That's weird." Deidara said bluntly, but shook his head. "But that still doesn't explain why you were jerking off to me!"

"For shits and giggles."

"Really?"

"No. Now let's keep moving, or I'll stab you in the taint."

"What the hell is that, un?"

"A place in your body that will hurt like hell if stabbed. Let's. Keep. Moving." Sasori growled, and Deidara narrowed his eyes.

"Sasori-Danna..."

"Fine! If you really wanna know, I think you're hot. You're hot and I think I love you a little."

Deidara gaped.

'What the hell...'

"...Sasori-Danna...?"

"...shit. I said too much, didn't I?"

"Un."

"...well...it's all true."

They stood in silence, hearing birds chirping and water flow as they stood in awkward, uncomfortable silence.

"I...love you too, Sasori-Danna." Deidara hugged Hiruko, and Sasori's eyes flicked up to the blonde.

If anything, he didn't expect that to happen.

"Come on, Danna. Let's get back to the base." Deidara chuckled, "I have a surprise for you..."

"Kinky?"

Deidara winked, "Of course..."

"Dear God they've been going at it for like, three hours..." Kisame said, covering his head with his pillow. Itachi grunted, closing his eyes, trying not to concentrate on something other than the pounding upstairs.

"I find it...nice they finally got together. The sexual tension was...painful, to say the least."

"Point noted, but Jesus!"

"Hn."

"Maybe we should get sound-proof walls?"

"I think that would be a very good idea."

Lawl, that was horrible.

Sorry for ruining your comic, Ireal. D: