Infuriating Potterverse

Disclaimer: I don't own Potterverse, J.K. Rowling does. I don't own anything referenced in this fic either, such as PJO.

Harry was sitting in the Great Hall at breakfast time when the post owls arrived. Hermione grabbed her copy of the Daily Prophet, paid the owl 5 Knuts and opened the paper. She was intrigued by the new section listed in the contents page: Comics and funny pages. At Ron's encouragement she immediately turned to that section, read it, and then handed the paper to Ron so she wouldn't drop it in her porridge, because she was laughing so hard at the weird list which had been printed.

The Top 10 Ways to Annoy Sybill Trelawney:

1: Tell her the Oracle from Percy Jackson and the Olympians is more accurate than she is.

2: Tell her the Bureau of Meteorology AKA the Weather Forecasters, are more accurate than she is.

3: Smash her crystal balls to make disco globes with.

4: Offer her an Inner Eye guide dog.

5: Ask her to predict the outcome of the next horse race/some other gambling event.

6: Ask her why Harry isn't dead yet.

7: Tell her the Grim keeps following you around. Ask for advice on how to shake him off.

8: Ask her to predict the next Transfiguration class/Snape's next snide comment/etc.

9: Tell her the centaurs are wise stargazers and know more about astrology than she ever will.

10*: Tell her Dumbledore feels sorry for her because he knows she's never going to be able to make a real prediction, and that's the only reason he hired her.

10: Ask her if she can read the patterns in leftover coffee grounds. Suggest that reading coffee grounds should be taught, since tea leaves are going out of fashion.

* Actually no, that's mean. That's just a way to hurt her. Delete that one.

Coming up next week: Top 10 ways to infuriate Severus Snape. Reader contributions are most welcome.

"What on earth is Percy Jackson and the Olympians?" Ron spluttered, passing Harry the paper so he could grab a serviette and wipe his streaming eyes. "A muggle series about a teenager who keeps on blowing up his schools and getting attacked by monsters, because he's the son of Poseidon, who's the Greek god of the sea." Harry replied, sniggering at the list. "This is hilarious! Has McGonagall seen this?" "I think so. She doesn't normally laugh that much at breakfast," Ron replied, indicating the staff table, which was the site of much merriment, now that the newspaper had been delivered.

The three Gryffindors sniggered amongst themselves. "I can't wait for tomorrow's list!" Exclaimed Harry. Ron and Hermione agreed with him.