This one will be two shots...you'll see why it's in italics later

and it doesn't get funny until the second chapter

Bella's Alternate Ending

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It had been seventy years to the date that Edward had left leaving his love behind. He knew his heart wanted her to be there with him eternally so but his brain knew she deserved to live a full "human" life.

The Cullens were moving back to forks to help Edward get over her death. They drove past Charlie's house in their hover car (it's the future) and discovered it in ruin from neglect. Alice comforted Edward as her held back dry sobs. He knew he could never have her like he wanted anymore.

School was meaningless if he couldn't see her blush and shy away. Everything was the same only three generations down. edward wanted to cry but he had to stay strong for his family. "Come on, I know what'll cheer you up!" said Alice. "Community service at the old folks home. That always puts you a peace."

she was right. he loved how these old people had lived full lives and experience things only old people could. After school edward went to do his community service. He saw the third door on the left in the home and looked at the names of the boarders for this room. "Michael and Jessica Newton"

Edward silently opened the door and there on the twin beds pushed together were two eighty-nine year olds getting it in while hooked u to their oxygen tanks. Edward shuddered at their thoughts of each other.

He shut the door loudly and listened as they shuffled nervously. He continues down the hall and looked at the names. one stopped him dead in his tracks. "Isabella Swan"

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket and when he looked at the caller I.D. a hologram of Alice's face came up. He pressed talk and a hologram of Alice's entire head and body appears. Her eyes appeared soft as she said, "Edward, it's her..." Alice hung up leaving Edward in his shock. He slowly opened the door ad there on the bed was a tiny old woman with a head of white hair watching TV. She hadn't notice his presence. He looked at the dresser next to her bed and noticed in the frame was one of the old still photos from seventy years ago. In the frame was one of the pictures she took at her birthday party all those years a go. it was of Edward and the rest of his family smiling back at the camera.

Edward closed the door behind him alerting the old woman. She looked over and gasped. "Edward!"

"Love?" his face contorted into a mix of relief, regret and loneliness with what looked like disgust, sadness, and peace in the background.

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okay...when edward was opening the door i had "My Way" from happy feet playing on my ipod.