Hey! Okay, so I really hope you enjoy this! And if anyone has any suggestions than you can tell me!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Chapter Three

I landed softly on the balls of my feet and went into the house, only to find the same settings as the day before. Groaning, I fell into a chair and crossed my arms.

"Let's jus get on with it." I said curtly.

1. Don't try to pry open a jar of pickles with his tongue

2. Don't make him eat a drunken mouse

3. Don't pour a bucket of frozen trout on him

4. Don't throw a scarf covered in cat barf at his left thigh

5. Don't replace all his birthday presents with dog toys, treats, ect.

6. Don't make a corncob sculpture of him and place it on the Forks Most Wanted list

7. Don't give him a vindictive hen for a gift EVERY single holiday

8. Don't mail all his clothes to Vancouver (No offense to anyone who lives there, I just picked a random place!)

9. Don't place a illegal Persian rug in his luggage

10. DON'T enter him in the Little Miss Beautiful Beauty Pageant