A/N- Some of these are really, corny. Don't mind it. Enjoy, and please review.
Disclaimer- This is by my friend Brittani and I, and we do not own the copyright © of the Twilight series.
ways to annoy, provoke, anger, and aggravate the Volturi
1. Tell them you know a secret, and if you told them you would have to kill them.
2. Run around Aro singing the song," Can't touch this," by MC Hammer.
3. If Aro tries to touch you, scream, "Mind rapist, get away from me!!!"
4. In one of their secret meetings, when they are arguing, get a stick and smack it on the ground really loudly and scream, "Order in the court!"
5. Purposely bump your head around Jane, and then say, "Ouch! That is the worst pain i've ever felt."
6. Dress up with fake fangs, and run around their castle singing, "I come to suck your blood!"
7. Show them the books, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn
8. Show them the stories on .net about them.
9. If you write Aro's name, spell it ARROW, and make sure he sees it.
10. Call Alec and Jane shrimpy, weak, midgets.
11. Ask them if they have a telephone, and tell them you bet they don't since they live in such a little closed up castle, and they are so old
12. Call them things like, old, fragile, elderly, ETC.
13. Ask them if they get senior discounts when they go places.
14. Have Jacob ask Caius to have a wrestling match. Make sure he asks while he is in his human form. When the wrestling match is about to start, have Jacob phase into a wolf.
15. Call them power-hungry, conceited, weak, bullies.
16. Go up to them, and tell them you don't care about any rules, or laws in the world.
17. Write a constitution for them.
18. Write love letters to Alec, signing off as Demitri.
19. Do that, and sign off as Bree.
20. Do the same thing, and sign off as Caius.
21. When he gets angry, blame it on the Cullens.
22. Call Aro, Caius, and Marcus, "inferior to the rest of the world."
23. Call them, "Bipolar, high-tempered Italians."
24. If Aro tries to touch you, imagine him making out with Demitri, or maybe Caius, or Alec, or Marcus?
25. Ride around on a horse near their city screaming, "The volturi are coming."
26. Tell them they need some sleep.
27. Tell Jane that you think she is PMSing
28. Pour glitter all over your body. Then, run around their city in the sun screaming, "Look at me. I'm sparkly! yea."
29. Get Bella to shield you, then summon Jane to a "staring contest."
30. Put a refrigerator full of human food in their feeding room.
31. Ask them to "go vegetarian"
32. Call them stupid.
33. Take out a laptop computer in their castle, and say, "I bet you don't know what this thing is."
34. When Aro touches you, think about the story of the Third Wife, and imagine Aro in the fight with those wolves, and you as the Third Wife.
35. If Aro touches you, imagine him dead, and imagine you having a huge celibration.
36. Run around their city screaming "(random name) has an immortal child.
37. When they ask you who that person is, say you aren't telling.
38. Dare them to walk into the sun in public.
39. Introduce Stephenie Meyer to them.
40. One morning, ask them what they dreamed about last night.
41. Sing the song, "Heartless." around them.
42. Write a paper about all the elements that are in vampire venom, and give it to them.
43. Ask them if they're Amish.
44. Stare at them, and look like you're concentrating. When they ask what you're doing, tell them you learned it from some guard they have named Jane.
45. If they ever threaten to kill you, take out your cell phone, and try to call 911.
46. Wear a big sheet over your head whenever you're around Aro. If he asks why, tell him that you are scared of people reading your mind.
47. If Aro touches you, think about this list.
48. Ask them if their food is "O-positively so good"
49. Get a physical shield, and say you're pretending to be Bella.
50. Tell them you're a vampire hunter.
Finally, show them this list.
I may make another chapter, and it would be about the Volturi finding this list, and what happens. Review if you want me to write that.