"It's Rachmaninoff's Fault"

By allegro scherzando

DISCLAIMER: All Nodame Cantabile characters and themes are the rightful property of Ninomiya Tomoko.

SUMMARY: They're now the Golden Pair, but it seems that something is stopping Nodame and Chiaki from reaching the level they both want to be in. But what exactly is that level? And what's stopping them?

DEDICATION: To Sergei Rachmaninoff because I brought him into this mess. And because I love him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LESSON ONE

As he waved his baton to the beat of the four-quarter time signature, he felt the power of the music all around him slowly entering the very depths of his soul. He made perfectly timed signals to the double basses during the parts where they were supposed to enter with a light pizzicato and pointed at the flutes to increase their dynamics with graceful hand gestures. Ever so often, he glanced at the huge instrument behind him, the beautiful and enormous black Yamaha from which the loudest and most defined sounds were coming from. As the music got softer and slower, turning from a majestic tone into something gentler and sweeter, he nodded at the woman seated in front of the piano keys. She nodded back with a small smile as her long and dexterous fingers went from one octave to another. By some strange habit, her fingers would bounce up almost one foot above the keys whenever she ended a long passage of notes.

Chiaki turned back to face the orchestra, his face gradually breaking out into a smile of satisfaction. He was thoroughly enjoying what he was hearing and pleased that the orchestra was meeting his expectations. He relished even more the fact that the pianist had somehow lost her interest in adding notes and seemed to play everything accurately according to the score. After weeks of whole-day practices, after he and entire orchestra suffered from (and endured) the unpredictable playing of their pianist, she had finally gotten to the place where Chiaki wanted her music to be. She had at last produced the sort of music Chiaki appreciated.

Not that he didn't like her music. In fact, he had always loved the way she played.

But suddenly, the pianist lifted her hands from the instrument and stopped playing.

"Gyabo!" she gasped, her eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

Chiaki immediately signaled the orchestra to stop.

"What's wrong?" he asked, facing the pianist. "You played everything correctly."

"No, it was. . . my fingering," replied the pianist softly, burying her face in her hands.

Rolling his eyes, Chiaki heaved a sigh and announced, "Let's have a thirty-minute break."

There was a soft scuttling and a few murmurs as the orchestra members stood up and made their way out of the main theatre, heading for the direction of the restrooms.

Chiaki went down from his podium and leaned against the piano, eyeing the pianist with an almost sympathetic expression on his face.

"It was perfect," he said. "Why are you so hard on yourself?"

"Senpai. . ." Nodame began in a despairing tone. "It wasn't perfect! I hit that note on the 186th mark with my index finger. It was supposed to be my middle finger!" she added in a voice which sounded close to a hiss.

Why is she like this? Since when has she become a perfectionist? Chiaki thought to himself.

Staring down at the keys with a fuming countenance, Nodame started playing once again. This time, it was a rough and much sloppier version of the sweet and graceful piece she had been playing just a moment before.

Oh, no way, she's going back to the way she played before today, thought Chiaki.

He grabbed her hands with one swift movement and said, "Why don't you rest for a while?"

Nodame blinked at him and turned her face away, her pouting lips emerging.

"It has to be perfect," she muttered. "It's our last performance together this season. Then my contract with the Chicago Symphony will end and I won't be able to perform with you for a very long time. I have to go to Berlin next week for my solo recital and I won't see you for maybe a year or so. I can't embarrass you this time with my lousy playing."

"Since when have you embarrassed me?" asked Chiaki disbelievingly.

No, I take that back. You have embarrassed me. Many times, he thought.

"You were playing just fine," he continued in an effort to comfort her. "All our performances this season were great. The music director's really pleased with what we've put together."

Nodame remained silent.

After a moment, Chiaki came to a sudden realization and said, "This isn't about perfecting the piece, is it?"

All at once his pianist burst into tears. Though Chiaki had known Nodame for 13 long years and was used to her erratic behavior, he was always rather shocked whenever she had one of her mood swings. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. Nodame hid her face in his chest as the tears continued to come out fast. Chiaki heard a muffled "Nodame will miss you" before there was a long series of sniffs.

I'll miss you too, he said in his mind.

"We will perform together again," he said reassuringly. "We're the Golden Pair. We've established that name for us already. We'll get another offer to perform with another orchestra in no time."

Looking up at Chiaki's face with swollen eyes, Nodame whispered, "But I want to stay here in Chicago with Senpai. I don't want to go anywhere else."

Chiaki didn't know what to say. He felt both exasperated at her hardheadedness and flattered that she wanted to be with him even if she had a busy schedule elsewhere.

"We should have become famous only as the Golden Pair," continued Nodame, sniffing.

"Huh?"

"We shouldn't have done anything individually," she explained. "Now we don't get to see each other that often anymore."

"Do you think you'll become as successful as you are now if you're always doing concertos with me?" asked Chiaki who was finally able to speak again.

A few more tears fell on Nodame's cheeks.

"If Senpai had asked Nodame to marry him," she said angrily, "this wouldn't be so hard!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AUTHOR'S NOTE: What do you think? Is it interesting enough or have I done something incredibly boring? Are things a bit unclear? Of course, I'd love to hear your comments. Tell me if anybody's out of character!

As always, I'm talking too much. I'll try not to spoil anything (if I can help it).

And thanks to Liliumscribe, who is one of my inspirations for this fic as well. I got an idea from her Intermezzo.