wiccan candles Chapter 1: I, a naruto fanfic

Wiccan Candles

Mallory: heyyyy Sam! Were gonna write a great fanfic!

Sam: Yes……Durrrrrrrr…….lizard man!

Mallory: AHHHHH Mr. Pac man o.O

Sam: waca waca waca waca……my attempt at pacman…..sooo pathetic

Mallory: anyways…this is Sam and my first joint custody fanfic 3 it shall be fabulous with lots of GLITTER and DRAGQUEENS!!!

Sam: We do not own any Naruto characters…..if we did……..GAY FEST!!!!!

We just own the storyline thanks to going to the flea market

Mallory: yesssss, so here we goooooo!!!!

Warning: Yaoi cuz were yaoi fangirls its SasuNaru meaning Sasuke is Seme Naruto is Uke don't like than don't read. And we don't know the rating it.

Yelling = bold

Italics = thoughts

Flashback = underline

Talking = nothing at all

......

THE DAY BEFORE IT HAPPENS

APRIL 21, 2011

8:07 A.M.

…..sooooooo…..warm…..mmm...Comfy….fluffy….it smells so nice….I love Saturdays…………………wait………ohhhhhhhhh ssshhhiiiiiiittttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!! Its not Saturday it's….

"TUESDAY!!!!" The blonde yelled. He shot abruptly out of bed. Falling to his doom onto the freezing hardwood floor.

"Damn it!!!!" Naruto looked over at the clock something he did every morning. 8:09………He stared……"fuck me sideways, I'm late!!!!!!!!!!"

To be completely honest, being late was a regular ritual. He had gotten used to putting his clothes out the night before so when he was tardy, getting ready was fairly easy. He ran to the bathroom, slamming the door and turned on a random knob. He stripped himself of his boxers and jumped in, only to be completely awakened by icy water.

"HHHEEEE-EEE-EEEE!!!" Naruto chattered, and turned on the hot. He retreated out of the water, until it was finally suitable to wash in.

He grabbed the axe shampoo and soaped up his hair, he than turned to his body, only to find that his axe body wash was missing in action. "Stupid fucking Kiba….took my fucking body wash to smell good just for Hinata!"

He got out, trying not to drip every where and grabbed the extra bottle located under the sink. "Finally….not the smell I wanted but…..Oh well." Getting back in he had to change the water again, it had turned cold.

When Naruto had gotten everything washed he turned off the water. He grabbed an orange and white towel and wrapped it around his waist, opening the door and letting out all the steam that accumulated while he was in there.

"Damnit…fucking late again…" he muttered to himself not so quietly. He put on a new pair of boxers, toweled his hair, slipped some skinnies, and put on his favorite orange volcom shirt. I'm so sexy thought with a laugh, and entered the bathroom again to brush his teethies.

As soon as he started scrubbing his ringtone for his bestie Hero's Come Back by Nobody Knows came on signaling that Kiba was calling.

"Mooooohhhie, mooooohhhie" Naruto so elegantly replied into the phone. "Whhhaaaa yyou waaannnn kkkiiibbbaaa?"

"Naruto spit than talk." Kiba's very annoyed voice said from the other line.

"Oooooaaaakkkaaahhhh," Naruto spit and rinsed, than turned to his tellie. "What choo want, Kiba?" Naruto said in his best ghetto fabulous voice.

"Naruto, where the fuck are you? You've really done it this time. Tsunade is pissed!" He nearly shouted. You could tell by the tone of Kiba's voice that he was scared for Naruto.

"Ohh jeez," Naruto said in best gay voice, "I'll be there soon, tell Baa-chan I'm sooooo sorry." The blonde hung up the phone and sighed. Great, fuckin' fabulous.

He ran down the stairs of his studio apartment and slipped into his black chucks. He tied his rainbow shoelaces before grabbing his keys and running out the door. He could tell this day was going to be great.

......

Naruto was riding along in his pristine orange jeep, two seconds away from school when…..

Bam!!!!!!

Whaaa… had someone hit him? It certainly wasn't that hard, but still. He sighed again. Like he needed anymore reason to be late. He got out assessing all the damage. It seemed someone certainly had hit him but whom? Oh gods…were they hurt? Did he need to call the police?

Looking around he found the source of whom and what had hit him.

A Lovely 2010 dark blue corvette convertible, but who was the driver of such a car? Naruto looked and found that the car had an Uchiha symbol on the back….so who ever owned it was an Uchiha.

"Hey Naruto…" said a low voice. I know that voice… but from where? Naruto turned there sat in all his godliness was an Uchiha but not just any Uchiha Sex-god, Sasuke Uchiha. The school heart throb, and Naruto's crush.

"Hello, teme." Naruto said indifferently. They were somewhat good friends, but not really. They shared a lot of the same classes and talked often. The Uchiha was a real ass, and sexy as hell.

The raven snorted and looked at Naruto with piercing onyx eyes, "Good job running 15 in a 45, dobe." Naruto gaped at him. Was he serious? After all the awkwardness of their last meeting he was acting like nothing happened?

"Look Sasuke, I have to get to school. Is there any damage to your car?" Asked the blonde hurriedly. The same eyes that looked into Naruto's very soul cut through the air and looked at the brand new corvette.

"I don't think so,Usuratonkachi." Sasuke said, turning away and starting to walk towards his car. "Have a good day….dobe."

Naruto's blood boiled, just like it did every time the Uchiha acted like 1.) He was an idiot and called him a stupid name, and/or 2.) Acted like money was nothing and didn't care what happened to his expensive things.

Naruto got into his car and sped off….I was not going 15 mph I drive fast…..fucking teme!

When Naruto arrived at school it was 9:30, he was definitely late, if only the stupid teme hadn't run into him than he would have been only 30 minutes late, Tsunade would sure to be more than pissed. But when he tells her of the accident she'll than forgive him. Naruto walked into the office to sign himself in when he heard "Naruto!!!!" shiiittt! Naruto knew no matter what that he was in trouble.

"Yeah, baa-chan?" Naruto asked in his cute baby uke voice. "Where the hell were you you're an hour and thirty minutes late?" Tsunade exclaimed. "Well you see… I was originally only going to be thirty minutes late but than I got into a car accident." Naruto stated calmly, just waiting for Tsunade to rush over and squeeze him. "…..Ohhhh my poor baby Naruto!!!!!" getting up so fast the chair fell over and ran over to hug and kiss Naruto.

"AHHHH baa-chan...Cant…breathe…" Naruto said gasping for air. Tsunade let go and stood up, brushing herself off. She offered Naruto and hand, which he took and hoisted him up.

"Now, about this being late all the time, it's going to have to stop. I can't allow you to miss first block three times a week!" she said calmly at first, but soon she was almost yelling, "Now what are we going to do about this? Do I need to get Kiba to wake you up every morning or something?"

"No, Baa-chan, I'll go get an alarm after school, promissseeee." He said with a fake smile. The big breasted woman sighed but dismissed him to go to second block.

Naruto stepped into his Drama class taught by a Mr. Kakashi Hatake, he was such a Dramatic man. It was no wonder he's the teacher. "Ugh hem…Naruto so nice of you to join us today!" Kakashi-sensai said in mock enjoyment.

"Heh heh, Yeah…." Naruto said, scratching the back of his head. Everyone had stopped to look at him, including the sex god himself. Kakashi-sensei looked around annoyed and told everyone to get back to there work. Naruto set his messenger down and walked over to his drama group.

"Good job not dying, Naruto." Kiba said taking the situation heartily. Naruto couldn't help but smile at his best friend. The others weren't as amused. Itachi, who was put in there group by force as punishment for kissing Kisame when he knew that was against the rules, only snorted and gave him the Uchiha glare. And Ino crossed her arms and growled at him.

"Well, I'm just good that way, you see." He said, giving his cutest face, which quickly waned when he heard Sasuke snort from all the way across the room. "WHAT WAS THAT TEME??" The blonde yelled, shaking his fist at him.

"Nothing at all, Usuratonkachi." Sasuke said, turning back to his group to say his lines. The blonde stuck his tongue out to his back, and then his group started. The class went on without happening.

.......Line.

Now, lunch was a fun time. Since they went to private school, they had hour lunches. Naruto sat with Kiba, Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Shino, and Kankuro. They were fun to hang out with, and the blonde always had a lot of fun. But today was just weird. Sasuke kept stealing glances at Naruto. Actually, sometimes he would just outright stare at him. Naruto elbowed Kiba in the ribs lightly.

"Huh?" Kiba said, turning to look at the blonde. Naruto gave him the look. Instantly he knew and stood, dragging the blonde outside. Naruto could feel Sasuke's eyes following them the whole way.

"WHAT THE HELL??" Naruto yelled to the gods. He explained the crash, and the staring thing.

"Wow, dude. Sasuke Uchiha likes you. You should be honored!" Kiba said, critical of Naruto's negativity. Naruto gave him another look, and it was one even Kiba wasn't use to. Hurt. "Awww, Naru…what's wrong, man?" Kiba asked as kindly as he could.

"You don't know what happened…" The blonde said. He slid down the wall he was leaning on, and sat. Kiba sat by him and put an arm around his best friends' neck.

"Tell me than." He offered. Naruto gave his those sad eyes again and began from the beginning.

"Hello, Usurakontachi," a voice came from behind Naruto's back. It was Monday, April 20. The blonde turned and gave Sasuke a big, happy smile. They had to work on an art project after school together. Usually, Kiba and Naruto would have worked together, but their art teacher had made them partners for the whole year. That's how Kiba started dating Hinata.

"Teme." Naruto said, obviously not in the mood to fight. He switched on the radio, opened a can of paint and got right to work without a word. They worked in silence for about ten minutes, but then Naruto's favorite song came on.

The bass, the rock
The mic, the treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal

Sasuke turned it off, growling. "I hate that fucking song, its soooooo fucking stupid." He walked back over to his spot and got back to work.
Naruto turned it back on.
--- shut me up
Shut it up

I can't wait for you to shut me up
and make me hip like bad ass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

Sasuke tried to turn it back off, but Naruto fought him. He grabbed the radio and ran away. The Uchiha growled and tried to get it. Finally he corned the blonde.

The bass, the rock
The mic, the treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a fucking minute

Even though Sasuke had him corned, Naruto was much taller, and held it high over his head. The Uchiha jumped up, but still couldn't get it.

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a second

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like bad ass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

Naruto pushed Sasuke away with one arm, and ran off again. He carried the small radio like a football, to the other side of the room and held it over his head again, dancing like he was at a club.

I don't find it funny right now (right now)
Just want my ma-ma-ma-money right now (now)
I'm on my way to the party right now (right now)

Because the break, the break, the break

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like bad ass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

Finally the song ended and he set the radio down. He laughed so hard at Sasuke's angry expression he almost fell on the floor. The Uchiha snorted and went back to his work. The rest of the songs that night were somewhat normal.

But that was Naruto was acting was far from normal. The normally energetic and annoying blonde was quiet and reserved. To be completely honest, Sasuke was getting a little worried.

"Naruto, what the hell is wrong with you?" he asked not looking up. He couldn't even tell if Naruto was even paying attention. No answer. "Dobe?" he asked again.

"What?" Naruto asked. He sounded different. Sasuke looked up this time, and saw Naruto, or it looked like Naruto with a not so Naruto expression.

Ooohhh……Cliffy……what you gonna do?
Review that's what….

Mallory: If there are any mistakes Sam did it… Jk…. Sam is looking at me evilly…..I love you Sam….

Sam: Yea you better be kidding…or….um…..NO YAOI!!!

Mallory: cries you can't do that to me

Sam: Yea your right I can't okay I guess you win this round

Mallory: Yesssssssss……..!!!!!!!!!

Naruto: No flames! Yes this may be our first joint custody fanfic but…no flames it'll break Mallory's heart….

Mallory: :( and no one really wants that!

Mallory and Sam: Naruto!!!!!!!

Naruto: Yes?

Mallory: you came to join us……

Sam: well before we get even more sidetracked review and ill give you….. A cookie in the shape of naked Naruto's….

Mallory: Mmm mmm :)