Author's note: This story takes place before PD1. The widowed Queen is in control in this story, for that is what queens should be. Joe gets himself in trouble. Oh, those proud passionate Spanish... Who is Johnny you may wonder. He is a character from a film and according to a reliable source this Johnny reminds the Queen of a certain bodyguard.

Johnny and Joe

Chapter 1 – The attitude of Joe Romero

In the kitchen of the Castle some Royal Guards were having tea. Mrs Danieli, the cook, was of course also present, as was Miss Charlotte, Her Majesty's secretary. They were in the middle of a discussion.

´He's just barking orders,´ Monet said.

´Well,´ Teballi replied, ´he is the boss.´

´I know, but he never acted like a bastard before.´

Teballi didn't argue for he had been treated like shit the day before. And the Queen had told him that she wanted to be alone when visiting her parents' grave, didn't she? What was he to do? Ignore her order? Hell no! When his boss, accompanied by the Queen's secretary, had found him lingering on the quiet graveyard, the man had nearly exploded with anger. Even his assurance that he had not kept Her Majesty out of his sight, could not stop Romero from scolding him. Miss Charlotte had stepped back, clearly embarrassed. It was only with the approaching sound of high heels that Romero had regained his composure.

Teballi glanced at the secretary who looked away as if to discourage him from telling yesterday's story. She seemed relieved when her pager went off. Teballi waited until the door closed behind her and in a low voice said: ´He's even rude to her!´

A stunned silence and then everyone exclaimed: ´What?´

´No no no,´ Teballi hastily explained, ´not to Her, to Miss Charlotte.´

Mrs Danieli wiped her brow.

´She would tear his head off,´ Monet grinned and that caused some nervous laughter.

OoOoOoO

Charlotte worried about Joe. For the first time ever he didn't talk to her at all. It was a small comfort to know that she wasn't the only one on his brand new black list. On the fourth day after Joe's angry mood started Charlotte collected documents from Her Majesty's desk when the Queen said: ´The Head of the Military House and I had a meeting this morning as you know. The Count was somewhat upset. Would you say that Joseph is treating all staff differently than before, Charlotte?´

´He is acting... differently, yes ma'am.´

She wondered if she should continue but the Queen looked concerned and that settled it.

´I'm afraid it is because of something I said a few days ago.´

The Queen raised an eyebrow.

´I don't recall what it could have been. I never meant any harm, but whatever I said, it had a negative impact on him.´

´Charlotte, I can not imagine that you could even accidentally say something that would hurt Joseph.´

Charlotte smiled shyly. Her Queen's words pleased her but she still felt that Joe had started to act as a man with a toothache whose dentist was on a holiday from the moment they had talked about... What was it about? Why couldn't she remember it? It wasn't about work was it? Was it about Her Majesty?

OoOoOoO

Two days later on something happened that was too extraordinary not be told by those who had witnessed it. And soon a mechanic who heard it from a maid who heard it from a guard, told the huntsman as if he had been there himself. The first part of the story was told by Monet and Iglesias. At 12:10 pm they entered the kitchen. They got themselves bread and soup and sat down with the regular gang at one of the sixteen-seat tables.

´All quiet at headquarters?´ Valais asked. Headquarters was guard slang for the royal shift. The usual reply was 'not a mouse stirring'.

Iglesias looked at Monet. Monet looked at Iglesias.

´What?´ Valais said, alarmed.

´Well...´ Monet started.

´Well?´ Mrs Danieli encouraged. ´Tell me!´

´This morning,´ Iglesias said, ´we heard Miss Charlotte tell the Queen that the Minister of Culture had to cancel his appointment because he was ill. The Queen said that it would give her time to re-read some reports but Miss Charlotte suggested that she might go riding since the weather was lovely. At eleven fifty we escorted the Queen to her suite. At noon instead of Dilson and Burgos relieving us, LeBlanc and Capras showed up in riding gear.´

Several women made noises at the thought of the handsome Capras dressed in a riding costume. Mrs Danieli hushed them but her eyes sparkled all the same.

Monet took over: ´The Queen walked out of her suite dressed as a horsewoman and the four of us followed her. We were halfway down the stairs when the boss, who'd had the morning off, called after us to ask where we were going. So Iglesias and I waited for him to explain that we were gonna have lunch but he ignored us and took two steps at a time to intercept the Queen.´

Everyone at his table and several others who had gathered around it looked at Monet with eager anticipation.

´You know what he said to H.M.? He said: Where are you going ma'am?´

Everyone held their breath.

´The Queen: Oh, were you addressing me Joseph?´

´Ha!´ Mrs Danieli triumphed.

´He said: I was not informed about this Your Majesty. Are you going outside? And she said: No Joseph, I thought of having the horses brought in here.´

The audience – over forty now - snorted.

´The boss told the Queen that Capras and LeBlanc had not yet finished the level IV training,´ Iglesias said. ´That's a special outdoor training,´ he explained for the benefit of the many non-guards.

´Yeah,´ Monet continued, ´Now, at first I thought the Queen was gonna answer him but she checked her watch and continued to walk to the door.´

Monet ended his line as if the story had ended for he suddenly realised that Romero might walk in any moment. But then again, his colleagues were dying with curiosity and he could not resist an audience. He looked at Iglesias who enjoyed the story just as much as the others. Well: the boss was very likely still outside.

´You know what he said?´ Monet cleared his throat. ´He said: you will wait here for me to join you. Ma'am.´

A groan was heard in the kitchen.

´The Queen raised an eyebrow and said: I will not leave the first section Joseph and I am off now, with two men trained by you to protect me.´

The cook nodded. ´And then what happened?´

Monet looked sheepishly. ´They went outside. The door closed behind them.´

A choir responded: ´You don't even know how it ends?´

´What were we supposed to do? Spy on them?´

People returned to their seats or went to the hitherto ignored buffet and talked about what had happened. They agreed that Romero had acted foolish but that Capras and LeBlanc would have nothing to report. The Head of Security might behave like a general in battle towards his men, he might ignore Miss Charlotte, he might insult Count Rossano and a dozen others but he would not extend his foul mood to Her Majesty. Well, no more than he'd already done, the idiot.

Dilson, who showed up in the kitchen shortly after Monet had finished talking, informed them that the regular shift would resume after the ride. The servants wouldn't have to wait long for the – probably boring and nonetheless much awaited - end of the story. But when a distressed gardener sits down for a cup of coffee and can only say: ´How could 'm do that? To Her Majesty?´ half an hour lasts forever.