A/N: Ugh, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really don't like this chapter. Most of it was forced, since the only part that moves the plot happens at the very end. Oh well, you're going to read it anyway, whether I like it or not.
Chapter 13: Without Your Love, Darling
We spent the rest of the week in Moscow. It was like a dreamland compared to the shattering truth that would soon hit me. I was so unsuspecting the whole time. My world was revolving around Mello and I being together. Waking with Mello. Hunting with Mello. Shopping with Mello. Watching an opera or ballet with Mello. Sleeping with Mello in his coffin.
Looking back on that week, I wondered if Mello had thought about what was to come at all. Had his actions been pre-meditative? Was he fussing, adoring, and loving me even more then before on purpose to perhaps compensate for what he was going to do?
The possible questions and answers ran through my head like wildfire, growing all the second but not doing any good.
Forgive me, I've been rambling again. You, the reader, can't possibly understand what I've been thinking about because I haven't explained what has happened. Let me begin…
I woke up comfortable and content as usual. Mello's arms were around me, his face buried in my neck. As per usual of course.
When Mello noticed I had woken he kissed me and played with my hair. "My darling, you smell particularly exotic this evening."
If I hadn't been craving blood I would have blushed.
Mello pushed the coffin open, one arm still hugging me close to his chest. The bedroom of our apartment, where the coffin was placed, was bathed in silvery moonlight. It gave our ghostly pale skin an ethereal glow to it.
Mello stood up and stepped out of the coffin. I followed suit.
Mello sat on the bed, smoothing out his clothes slightly. Patting on the bed for me to sit beside him he said, "What is it you would like to do this evening, my love?"
I shrugged absently and rested my head on his shoulder. My thoughts were elsewhere, yet I never seemed to be able to recall where they were.
"That's alright." Mello said in, for lack of a better word, a dreamy voice. "We can just… stay in, if that's what you prefer."
Something about Mello's seemingly innocent words struck a profound thought it my mind.
"I still don't understand…" I mumbled, almost to myself, but with preternatural hearing and all that Mello picked up on it loud and clear. "Understand what?" He asked in a sympathetic tone, putting an arm around my shoulder.
I shook my head slightly, my gaze dropping. "I don't think I want to talk about it."
"Are you sure my darling, you know you can tell me." Mello placed a slow kiss on my cheek. His tone of voice had been huskier and throaty, his kiss full of lust. They almost convinced the words to tumble out of my mouth "Well, I- it's just. No."
I didn't want to ask, why me? I didn't want to make the whole unrealistic quality of our situation and relationship apparent to Mello. I mean, was it even proper for him to kiss me the way he does? Was it proper for me to like it? I was thankful at the time that he couldn't read my thoughts.
Shifting slightly on the bed I said, "Actually Mello, I know what I want to do."
Mello gave me an eager smile, his face so close to mine. "Yes, what is your idea?"
I looked away from him in almost a shameful manner. "I want to be alone for a couple of hours." The way I said it, so flat and devoid of expression, suddenly made me feel unbearably sad. I felt I had rejected Mello.
However, Mello's face only fell for a second before he plastered another smile on his face. "As much as I hate to be parted with you my darling, even for a second, I must respect your decision, it is only logical after months of constant companionship with me." I watched in guilty silence as Mello played with the hem of his shirt. "Although I may fall prey to a bought of separation anxiety…"
"Sorry…" I muttered before pecking him on the cheek. Mello turned sharply to face me, his fingers played lightly on the spot where I had kissed him. "I'll be here," he said breathlessly. "Don't worry…"
I got off and went to the door. Just as I was reaching out to the doorknob I turned around. "See you soon, then?"
"Of course." Mello replied, nodding slightly.
I was halfway out the door before Mello spoke again. "Oh, and Near?"
"Yes, Mello?"
"I've been thinking, how would you like it if we moved back to Paris?"
A wide smile formed on my face. "Why that would be most wonderful, Mello." And with a radiant expression on his face, I closed the door on Mello.
Wondering the streets of Moscow you could say I worked myself into a state of depression. I wasn't going anywhere in particular, I wasn't doing anything in particular, and I wasn't thinking anything in particular. It was all maddeningly vague and I easily grew quite frustrated with myself.
Eventually my restlessness led me to make a reckless decision. I decided to take a Big Drink. Not just any Big Drink, mind you, I wanted to take the life of an innocent person. I wasn't worried about the whole, 'soul raving your mind' factor. Surely there must be something wrong with me to even be having these thoughts, much less carrying them through. I shrugged to myself in the creamy darkness. That part didn't matter. What I wanted to get out of the Big Drink was the thrill of the heart slowing, your own gradually with it…
It would be easy. I hadn't been a vampire for half a year, and even after drinking from L most of my mortal skin tissue was still there. There would be no need to apply makeup to blend in with mortals. As long as they didn't feel my cold hard skin I would be fine…
As I was plotting all this out I accidentally bumped into my victim.
"Sorry." I muttered as our shoulders brushed. We had already begun to walk away from each other when I realized she was going to be my target. I turned around and stepped in front of her so fast she couldn't see me. If she showed any alarm, it was by momentary wary flicker in her eyes.
"Excuse me miss, but what might your name be?" I asked in the most innocent, gentlemanly tone I could muster, knowing what evil intent I had for her.
"And why sir, should I tell you?" Her tone was steely and her dark eyes accusing and untrusting. Good. She was turning this into a game. A game I was going to win.
I thickened my French accent. "Well you see miss, I recently traveled here to visit a sick cousin 'oo lives just outside out side of Moscow…" I glanced around nervously. "But it appears I've gotten myself lost again." I smiled charmingly. "It's notting for a young woman like yourself to be considered about. I apologize for bottering you." As I had said this I had used my psychic powers to make the woman attracted to me. So as I turned to go I was expecting the shrill cry of, "Wait!"
I turned to her, plastering an innocent expression on my face. She toyed with a piece of her dark drown hair nervously. "Well it would be a terrible thing to leave you wandering the middle of the night… How would you like to stay at my house tonight? It wouldn't be a bother, my parents are away on business and-" She quieted abruptly and blushed.
"I am truly grateful and forever in your debt." I bowed slightly.
As the girl led the way back to her house I slyly linked our arms. She jumped slightly at the contact, and then began walking again.
"What did you say your name was, miss?"
"Veronica…"
I smiled at her and looked off into the distance, pretending to ponder her name. It was odd for me to be deceiving her like this, and I knew it was wrong for me to kill her. I had already closed in on my prey though, I couldn't back out now.
"Enchenté, Mademoiselle Veronica." I said, throwing in French for bonus points. "It is truly a pleasure, my name is Near."
Veronica smiled sheepishly. "The pleasure is all mine, Near."
Walking back to Veronica's house took only a few minutes but I had to restrain myself form not walking as a mortal. I had gotten so used to walking with Mello…
In that time Veronica and I made polite small talk, and of course my mind was elsewhere. I questioned about the kill, how I should go about bringing it, how long I should wait to do it. To be truthful I was actually sort of nervous, this would be the first time I had killed since that oaf in Greece, and it would a completely different, but common, Mello had explained to me one night, way of taking a victim. Oh well I thought, at least it was more interesting then scouting dirty alleyways for the scum of the street.
Veronica's home was small but cozy. It had a homely feeling to it, and I smiled slightly at the tacks of papers and books simply lying about places.
Veronica stoked the fire, trying to bring up some flames from the embers. She then turned around and began to clear off an old couch. "I apologize Near, we don't normally have guests so we don't have an extra room for you, so you'll have to sleep on the couch." She sneezed after upturning some dust.
"Veronica tell me something." I said seriously, dropping my French accent. She looked up at me, a slightly confused look on her face. "Yes Near?"
I smiled evilly as I whispered this in the darkness, "Do you believe in vampires?"
Before she could reply I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her close to me, a death-grip of an embrace.
"Near?! What are you-" I cut her off, my teeth sinking into her smooth neck. As I began to drink her blood she sighed, making an "Oh…" sound, as if she knew I wasn't human all along.
Veronica's blood was good. I felt like a pickpocket who had just stolen a rich man's wallet. I knew it was wrong, but it still felt good to do it. Veronica did not squirm or struggle, her body was completely relaxed. I was sad to feel her go, to experience the flow of her sweet blood slow. When her heart stopped permanently, sickening thought came into my mind. I dropped Veronica's body to the floor, staring down at her. What I had just done, killing this poor innocent who could have lived a full and happy life, well it reminded me of B. I hear B.B. laughing in my mind. Laughing at the sheer irony of what I had done. I had promised myself, I had promised Mello I wouldn't do this. I had betrayed Mello…
I ran out of Veronica's house, leaving it behind for forever. I ran as fast as I could, mortals only caught glimpses of me here and there. Soon I was back at our hotel, sobbing and breathless. I went around back for a few moments to calm myself. Mello would forgive me, right? He might be angry and disappointed in me, but he would forgive me, right? Everyone makes mistakes…
After recomposing myself I stepping into the hotel and walked up three flights of stairs to the floor of our apartment. My gait was a near shuffle, and my head was hung slightly in shame and sorrow. Slowly I retrieved the key from my pocket; slowly I put it in the knob and turned it…
I was greeted by empty silence. I wasn't concerned at first. Mello could have gone out hunting, or to see his agent. There were a number of things Mello could be doing. However I grew suspicious when there was no note on the dining table. Mello always left notes…
After discovering the absence of a note a sense of urgency filled me. I walked into the kitchen and checked the cupboard for the bottle of blood we kept in case of emergency. It was gone. I flinched as I bit my lip with my left fang. Ignoring the small trickle of blood running down my face I walked into our bedroom, a hollow and foreboding feeling in the put of my stomach. Likewise my feeling was confirmed when I saw no coffin in our room. I rushed to the closet, not controlling my strength and nearly ripping the door off its hinges. I choked. Mello's clothes were gone.
The blood tears were flowing openly now, and I felt despair wallow in my mind. On the writing desk sat my three dolls. There was a small slip of paper sticking out from underneath the Mello doll. As I picked it up I sobbed out loud. It was the same expensive parchment he had used in Paris.
On the paper were only seven words. Those seven words broke my heart and sent a thousand screams through my body.
I am sorry and I love you.
Mello was gone. Mello had left me. Had Mello left because of what I had done to Veronica? No, that wasn't it. Mello had apologized, implying that he left for his own actions. But what had Mello done to abandon me? I decided I didn't care.
It was time for me to learn how to live a vampire's life without Mello. As much as I wanted to hold onto Mello, it was time to cast him away.
L'Extrémité
(The End)
SUPER IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE YOU MUST READ THIS: Ok, I know what you're all thinking: Man, that was a bad chapter, it was sort of short, had not yaoi, had a depressing ending, AND IT'S THE END OF THE STORY!
Well be sad no longer my fine friends, for a big thank-you to all the reviewers/ INFORMATION ABOUT THE SEQUEL can be found by watching this video, copy and paste the URL, just delete the spaces:
h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = 2 m R m K s i C a 0 o
If you have any questions about the sequel/prequel to the sequel, (A.K.A. the three songfics I mentioned in the video) drop me a PM or comment the video!
Love to all,
Backyard Bottomslash