BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING ELSE, MAKE SURE TO CHECK OUT MY NEW STORY "Poltergeists!" IF YOU ENJOY A MORE SERIOUS GENRE! That is all. Caps is fun lolz

Hello viewers! Welcome back to Rabbit Fox's Apprentice, the fiction about nothing at all! Yes! Now that the Humor Train has been refueled, I'll be taking tickets please! YAHAHA WOOT! But first we have to load the train with a bunch of constipated Hyuugas, so expect some seriousness at first!

Summary: Kyuubi always had the proverbial raincloud floating over his head. Can he survive the boredom of his imprisonment by helping his container?

Pairings: Narutox?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, the Teletubbies, or the Wiggles…not that they are in this fic…*evil grin*

Chapter 9

A crying blond-haired child is found in the rubble, lead away by a kind old man in white robes. Black clothed ninjas search the scene, only recovering one corpse, that of an old man.

But they found the clothes.

A cloak and a mask, all in black. They were recovered from beneath a collapsed roof, but there was no sign of the owner nearby…

And so Calamity mysteriously vanished…

-

Two Years Later

-

The sound of raucous laughter and clinking glasses filled the tent, where a group of men were having a feast. Some were dressed in extensive armor, swords waiting at their hips, and yet some were wearing casual clothing and slopping beer down their fronts. A brown-haired man- a samurai by the looks of his blue armor- stood and drew his katana, waiting for attention. The tent quickly quieted. He began his speech with a proud tone.

"Today we all accomplished a great deed," he rumbled with a smile. "Because of our efforts, we managed to secure our master's security and wealth."

A round of hooting and hollering exploded from the table, and the samurai smiled.

"But more importantly, we secured one thing greater," he continued, and eyed his soldiers proudly. "Our futures!"

A round of "aye-aye" swept the table, and all the warriors nodded their heads in unison. The samurai waved a hand to the butlers waiting on the side. They each carried five glasses on a sparkling silver platter, handing a glass to each of the men at the table. The blue armored man took his own glass and raised it, placing his sword on the table in front of him.

"This is the rarest wine ever bottled. Courtesy of our master for a job well done!"

The men all raised their glasses and shouted, "FOR OROCHIMARU!"

And they drank.

The butlers all exited the tent, leaving behind the drinking soldiers. Not long after, the joyful cheers from within the canvas room turned to confused shouts. The butlers had finally crossed the boundary of the campsite by the time the shouts had turned to horrified screams.

One of the butlers turned and grinned, taking in the screams.

"You didn't have to put so much in the wine," spoke a slightly robotic voice from above.

The butler jumped in fright and looked up at the white-eyed boy hanging upside-down from a tree branch. The blond was wearing a metal device over his mouth, making his voice sound distorted. The butler shivered, staring into the empty white voids that seemed to be looking at nothing and everything at the same time. He regained his composure.

"Those men raped and murdered my wife and daughter. They deserve whatever they get tonight."

The blond dropped from the branch, flipping to land on his feet. He was wearing combat boots, black long baggy pants, and a black unzipped jacket, partially revealing a shirtless torso underneath. He wore the hood over his bright hair.

"And they will be punished as you wish…if the hallucinogens don't scare them to death first," the dark robotic voice spoke.

The butler nodded and continued down the path, hesitating at the boy's dark nature.

"You know, you're still young," the man spoke gently. "You can still turn back now."

The blond turned and set his milky orbs upon the man, staring into his soul.

"There is no turning back…"

The concerned butler seemed to take this as a dismissal and left. White eyes swiveled to stare at the scream-filled campsite.

"No turning back…"

"Showtime Naruto."

"Hai Master Kyuubi."

The boy set his brow and entered the encampment.

-

Mizuki sighed as he stared at the latest test scores. Uchiha and Haruno got full marks, like usual. Hyuuga and Yamanaka tied for second, as always, and Aburame took the third highest mark, as expected.

Uzumaki got last. Simply because his test was completely blank, as if no effort was spent on it. He did not even write down his name on the paper. Mizuki sighed and placed a "0" in his teacher's book under Naruto's entry.

"There a problem Mizuki?"

Iruka was looking at him from his desk, seeming slightly worried about Mizuki's depression. Mizuki returned Iruka's stare.

"Ever since the…incident two years ago, Naruto has put no effort into the academy," Mizuki began, folding his fingers in front of him and closing his eyes. "To put it frankly, I'm worried. Post traumatic stress is the likely cause."

"I see what you mean. Forfeiting spars before they even start, not paying attention to his grades and schoolwork, ignoring his friends…it's almost as if he has just given up," Iruka said softly, looking genuinely concerned. "Maybe it's an after effect of his Grandfather-like figure passing away."

"You mean being murdered."

"Of course, I just-"

"It's all right, Iruka, but we mustn't sugar coat reality," Mizuki muttered, cutting Iruka off. "And sadly, the reality is that Naruto will not survive the ninja life."

"We mustn't shut him down prematurely," Iruka returned softly. "There may be hope yet."

-

The whiskered twelve year-old stopped ten feet from the entrance of the tent, listening to the horrified clatter inside. He then held out his arms, palms up. Nothing happened at first, however that changed when rocks began floating off of the ground, rotating in place slowly. The blond winced slightly, not from pain, but from what he was about to do.

"…Sorry."

He turned his arms over and the rocks shot at insane speeds through the canvas with many small thump thump thumps. The screams shot up in volume as crimson splashed the insides of the tents, the fire inside making their frenzied movements cast shadows against the sides of the tent.

The blond walked forward and lifted the tent flap, pausing with hesitation before entering.

Inside, the table was flipped onto its side and broken glass littered the floor. Bloody and bruised soldiers writhed in agony in the dirt. He shouldered his nausea and searched for the soldier in the best condition. He found one in the form of a brown-haired samurai, who lay muttering to himself but appeared otherwise fine. The blond approached the man and pulled him into a sitting position. The man's gray unfocused eyes slowly came to a stop, resting on Naruto's. The man made a frenzied jerking motion, scared by a combination of the toxins and the white eyes.

"W-What ARE YOU??!!"

Naruto replied in his low metallic growling voice, holding in his guilt at what he was doing.

"I am the past, present, and future," Naruto began, making the man's eyes go wider. "I see all…and I have been watching you, samurai."

"P-please!"

"I must say, I am not happy about your actions…"

"No! Spare me!"

"Spare you?"

Metallic laughter filled the tent, and the man's eyeballs threatened to bulge from the sockets. Then the sound stopped, leaving the boy to stare at the man.

"Alright, but you shall carry word of my power. I do wish to gather some more deserving souls…"

The man nodded frantically.

"I promise!!!"

Naruto chopped the man on the neck, knocking him out. He then sighed and removed the breather, wondering why he had to do these things.

--

Naruto was hours away from the camp, leaping from tree to tree.

"There you go, you just cemented your notoriety."

"That was horrible," Naruto returned aloud.

"Those men were rapists," Kyuubi responded. "They deserve their punishment. Hmph. They should be on their knees thanking you for the opportunity to help start your career!"

"I guess the punishment part makes me feel better."

"Hey! There's the smelly midget I know!"

"Tch. You're calling me smelly? You smell like you've been crapping and peeing yourself for 12 years. Oh wait," Naruto grinned evilly, "you have been."

"I would say 'low blow' but it's impossible for a midget to make any high blows."

"Shut it rodent!"

"What happened to 'Master Kyuubi'?!"

"I don't know, tell me when you find him."

"Grr…"

"Now shut it, I have to sneak back into Konoha before sunrise…"

-

Next Day

-

"SASUKE-KUN!"

Sasuke hid his pocky in a flash, not wanting it to be stolen. A blonde girl and a pink-haired girl flew through the air and glomped Sasuke, causing his dark side to rise. These girls were denying him of his pocky. His delicious, amazing, wonderful pocky…

"Sakura, Ino," Sasuke muttered, and the girls got hearts in their eyes.

"Yes Sasuke-KUN?!"

"You're annoying."

"Oh Sasuke-kun, we know! We know you just use a mask to cover your inner feelings! Just pour the love you've been holding back onto us!" Sakura shouted, hugging Sasuke's bewildered face to her flat chest.

This is the sight that greeted an exhausted Naruto as he entered the classroom. His eye twitched as he saw that his chair was taken by Ino. He sighed and tried to decide the least difficult way to get his seat back.

"OH SAAASUKE-KUN~"

"That's it!" a pissed off Naruto shouted inwardly. He moved out into the hallway where no one could see him.

"OH MY GOOOSSHHH!" Naruto shouted in a falsetto high voice, getting everyone in the classroom's attention. "SOMEONE POSTED A PICTURE OF SASUKE NAKED ON THE BULLETIN BOARD!"

All the girls except Hinata immediately stampeded to the door and shoved their way through, leaving Sasuke to himself as Ino and Sakura were fighting for the front positions. A few seconds later, Hinata and the boys' attention were drawn across the room where a black sandal and a leg swung over the window frame, followed by a torso and the grinning face of Naruto.

He landed in the classroom, unnoticed by the screaming girls fighting to get into the hallway. He noticed that the others were watching him with grins and so he took a deep bow, sending a blush to Hinata's face. He then got to his seat where he sent a dark glare at Sasuke, which the raven-haired boy returned.

"Teme."

"Dobe."

The blond then inconspicuously pushed a note over to Sasuke, who picked it up and read.

'Oy Sasuke, let's have another training session after class today. Your place.'

Naruto felt something against his hand, seeing the reply note and a stick of pocky, which he quickly devoured in hunger.

'okay pocky-friend. just no field this time, only weapons!'

Naruto pouted and replied.

'But you're better at weapons.'

Sasuke grinned at the note.

'Look at me, does it look like I care?'

The blond looked up from the note to see Sasuke's newly dubbed 'Face of Constipation' staring at the front of the room. Naruto broke out into laughter, drawing the attention of most of the class, including the girls who had finally realized that the picture was a lie and had sat back down in their chairs.

"Something funny Naruto?" Iruka asked, entering the classroom.

"Ah, no," the boy replied quickly. "I…er…just remembered a really funny joke is all."

"Oh really?" Iruka grinned. "Well I would love to hear it."

"Uh, okay."

Naruto stood and grinned at his classmates.

"Why did the Iwa-Nin have rearview mirrors on their tanks?"

He smiled at the blank faces.

"So that they could still watch the battle."

The class erupted in laughter, even evoking a small smile from Mizuki, who had walked in at the punch line.

"Ah yes. The whole 'iwa nins are cowards' stereotype. 'We surrender!' indeed eh?" Mizuki spoke, emitting some giggles from the students. "But on a more serious note, I must inform you guys of something even more…earthshaking."

He put a briefcase up on his desk, opened it, and pulled out a bunch of papers.

"I'm sure that you all hate each other now since we put you into work group teams in your first year here," Mizuki spoke bluntly, unaware of Naruto and Sasuke fist-bumping underneath their table, "but now you won't have to worry about that. Soon the Genin exams are going to take place and you will be placed into real teams. These teams will be like your family. You will eat together, do missions together, sleep together-"

"Oh I certainly hope so," Kiba spoke out loud without thinking, watching Hinata with a drooling mouth. Everyone stared at him and Hinata just looked confused.

"…Anyway," Mizuki continued, "You will act as one. So I expect everyone to be completely ready to take on the ninja life before you sign up for the exam. I won't have two others die just because you were shaky in your decision to become a ninja. Am I clear?"

All the students nodded.

"Okay, now let's go over the review chapters…"

-

Naruto fingered his white shirt tiredly as he walked to the Uchiha District. Immediately after sneaking into Konoha- which wasn't very hard with the oblivious guards- he had returned home, stored Mano's breather in a safe place, then slipped into his casual academy clothes. Therefore he had no time to sleep and was exceedingly exhausted.

During Mano's autopsy, a seal was found on the man's arm. The seal contained the breather and, in accordance to Mano's Will, was given to Naruto after being tested. Naruto also kept the combat knives because he found he had a certain affinity for dual wielding.

And speaking of dangerous weapons…

"Pocky-friend! You've arrived!"

"Yo Sasuke," Naruto replied, a grin appearing on his face.

Naruto had arrived in the Uchiha District, and approached Sasuke who was standing in the middle of the main road. The raven-haired boy standing in the street grinned and pulled out a length of rope. The rope was durable, extremely long, and had a sharp piece of metal tied onto the end. The rope's owner smiled wickedly.

"I've been waiting to use this on you," Sasuke chuckled maliciously, swinging the rope in circles. "I've been practicing with this rope instead of metal links so that I don't hurt myself, but that will change very soon!"

"Oh crap," Naruto eyed the shiny blur that was the sharp 'bullet' creating arcs of grey around Sasuke's body.

The Uchiha smiled and stood in ready position. Naruto gulped, but complied and pulled a pair of combat knives from the two holsters on his thighs. No light reflected off of the knives, make them look like two pieces of rock. Leaves swirled in between the two, making the tension grow.

Sasuke shifted the rope to one hand, then slowly opened the kunai holder on his right leg. Naruto tensed, waiting for Sasuke to make a move. The Uchiha's hand reached into the holster slowly…

A bright pink package of pretzel sticks appeared from the holster, and Sasuke happily munched on a stick. Naruto sweat dropped, staring at the chibi Sasuke making crumbs fly everywhere. The Uchiha finally finished and grinned at Naruto.

"Done yet?" Naruto quipped.

Sasuke's grin became insane and fire appeared in his eyes.

"BY THE POWER OF POCKY I AM NOT!!."

Alarms went off in Naruto's head and he ducked, missing the whip by millimeters. Naruto rolled backwards and leaped into the air, missing another strike aimed at his feet. The blond landed on a pole and surveyed the area in confusion. Sasuke was standing in the same place, grinning up at Naruto's form.

"If Sasuke hasn't moved, then who?!"

Naruto felt something tighten around his leg and was yanked downward. In mid-fall he noticed his assailant, a black-haired boy wielding a familiar rope.

"Sasuke?!"

The blond was slammed into the ground, throwing dust up into the air. He groaned and stood, glaring at the identical copies of Sasuke standing side by side.

The original one poofed into smoke, leaving the Uchiha to laugh at Naruto condescendingly.

"Bunshin!"

Naruto slapped himself, cursing his idiocy.

"I should've noticed! You didn't offer me any pocky!"

"And so the Uchiha is king of the Training Session!"

"Damn you Sasuke!"

Leaves blew in between the two, creating more tension…

"How come every time this story has a dramatic confrontation, the wind picks up?"

The two boys glared into an alleyway, where a brown haired boy with a giant fan stood. There was an awkward silence.

"Wait, I'm in the story?" I questioned, sweat dropping. "Doesn't that, like, break the time space continuum?"

The author of the story immediately caught fire and died.

Naruto dashed toward Sasuke while flipping his knives into inverted grip. The blond let out a yell and swiped at Sasuke, who ducked and skipped backward while throwing the rope at him. Naruto leaned his head to the left on reflex, letting the bullet whiz past his ear. However, Sasuke pulled and the length of rope made a wide arc, wrapping around Naruto's neck. A yank later and Naruto was spinning through the air as a brutal result of the violent unfurling rope.

"Should we take a pocky break?" teased Sasuke, who spun the rope around his arm tauntingly. "I've gotten a new watermelon flavor! It's very nice."

Naruto spit rocks out of his mouth and grinned.

"No chance."

His arm blurred and he released one of the knives with pinpoint accuracy. Sasuke cursed and jumped into the air, evading the knife that would have dug into his leg. However, the boy wasn't in the clear yet.

"Hey Sasuke!"

While still in midair, Sasuke's eyes widened and he glanced up, only to be met with the sight of Naruto closing in faster than a rocket. He tried to spin the rope but it was harder to get the force going while falling. He saw the incoming flash and closed his eyes, awaiting the end.

But nothing happened.

Sasuke hit the ground and coughed, spitting out dirt. Naruto landed behind him. The blond smirked at Sasuke and retrieved his other knife. The Uchiha stood, noticing that his shirt was cleanly sliced in half from his left hip to his right shoulder, yet there was no mark on the skin underneath. He stared at Naruto questioningly, who shrugged.

"I figured it out. You need a good base to use that weapon effectively. I just had to get you off of the ground!"

"Nice but I got you first!"

Naruto tilted his head questioningly, and when Sasuke pointed at his chest he looked down, gaping in wonder. The blonde's white shirt was cut into ribbons, which fluttered miserably in the wind.

"Damn that rope is fast," Naruto exclaimed. "I don't even remember that!"

"It was when I yanked you down from the pole. I spun it an extra couple times on your way down."

Then Sasuke pulled out a box of pocky, orange flavored.

"But for managing to beat me after a while, you earned two sticks this time."

The raven-haired boy waited with a pleased look on his face, as if expecting Naruto to burst into tears from the amazing gift. Naruto, knowing Sasuke's temperament with pocky, immediately dropped to his knees and raised his arms to the sky, fake crying.

"THE GODS HAVE BLESSED MEEEEEE!!!!"

"Hmm…I expected you to be more excited…"

Sorry for the short chapter. I thought I'd post something cause its been a REALLY long time since ive posted so…sorry.