Zexion Drew did not like birthdays.

He'd hated birthdays ever since his parents had refused to get him a Little League Chemistry Set- with real chemicals!- when he turned four. They said he'd burn his eyes out. In retaliation, Zexion had gone outside and poked himself in the eye with a stick. Somehow, it had made sense to an almost-four-year-old. He'd spent his birthday in the hospital, and from then on, he had only negative feelings towards birthdays.

Also, cake gave him a tummy ache, he was allergic to latex balloons, and he hated cleaning up wrapping paper because he always got paper cuts.

Basically, birthdays sucked.

Zexion Drew's birthday was strictly classified information, brought out only for government forms and the like. He did not mention it to anyone. He never threw parties for himself, and he had no friends to throw parties for him. His parents were older, retired, and traveled a lot, and the family didn't talk much. Great-Aunt Maleficent sent him presents, but never anywhere near his actual birthday, since she was senile and didn't know any better.

And so, his 26th year began without any sort of fanfare at all. He woke up, he showered. He drank his coffee and ate his toast. He put on a clean sweater-vest and left for work, secure in the knowledge that no one knew his terrible birthday secret.

He did like when his birthday was placed, though, in the late fall, when the trees were browning and losing their leaves and the town was at its dreariest. The bleak scenery warmed his heart. While nature died, his artistic muse flourished. The library in particular looked wonderful, like something straight out of a Poe story, covered in branches and dead leaves. Unfortunately, the effect was ruined by young delinquent Riku Spears, standing on the front steps, as if he had every right to be there, or something, which he most certainly did not.

"The library's closed," Zexion said flatly, even though the keys were in his hand.

"I was just wondering if I could put up some fliers. Sora's dog is still missing." Riku brandished a stack of the offensive fliers, the very fliers that Zexion had spent entire minutes removing from his library's beautiful front door.

His eye began to twitch.

"I told you no not even two days ago. Are you forgetful, or just stupid?" Riku stared at him blankly.

"What!? No you didn't."

"And then you stapled your awful fliers all over my front door."

"No I didn't."

"You were in prison!" Zexion said, his voice rising the tiniest bit with his own frustration. "I heard you!" Riku took a step back, away from him, a very concerned expression on his face.

"Ok, dude. You're nuts," he muttered, and he turned and left, thankfully taking the awful fliers away with him. Zexion gritted his teeth, tugged on his bangs, rearranged his sweater-vest, stormed into the library, re-filled the Schemer's water bowl and food dish, all very angrily of course, before pulling out his journal and writing frantically.

November 1.

Riku Spears suffering extreme memory loss. Unable to determine if it is medical, or if he's just an idiot. More information necessary.

He paused.

Worst birthday ever.

Unfortunately, Zexion's birthday was only set to get even worse.

Around ten o'clock, Xaldin Fu came in with his daughter, who immediately ran off to the young adult section. Now, Zexion was all for encouraging reading among the youth. He was not such a big fan of making small talk with their parents.

"Hello, Zexion," said Xaldin.

"Hi."

"You must be getting older, right? Maybe in your thirties?" Zexion's eye twitch was not going to be going away anytime soon.

"I'm twenty-five." No, today was his birthday. His damnable birthday. "Uh, I mean, twenty-six."

"Oh." Xaldin did not apologize, nor did he show any awareness that what he'd said was rude. "Well, still, your parents must be elderly, right? Are you in need of any funeral services?" He asked the last part hopefully, with a wild gleam in his eyes. Zexion was uncomfortable.

"I don't know any dead people. Or dying people." Except maybe Riku Spears, if he tried to put any more fliers on his door."Sorry," he added, because it seemed like the polite thing to do.

"Ah." Xaldin looked extremely disappointed. "Well, here's my card, if you need anyone cremated."

"Here she is, daddy!" Yuffie cheered, running back out from the stacks. Zexion gasped in horror. She was clutching the Schemer under her front legs. The poor cat's back legs dangled impotently, grasping at air. She could not look more unhappy if she tried, a combination of standard cat displeasure and a vaguely confused expression that spoke to being picked up while she was asleep.

"This is the kind of cat I want!" She held the Schemer up proudly.

"Well, we'll talk about that later, dear," said Xaldin.

"Put her down!" Zexion screeched, offended on behalf of his cat's dignity. Both Yuffie and Xaldin turned to look at him, alarmed. He swallowed hard. He could feel his face getting red. "Uh. She doesn't like to be held."

"Ok, mister." Rather than put her down directly, Yuffie shoved the Schemer into Zexion's arms. "Oh hey," she added. "Do you have a drinking fountain?"

"No!" said Xaldin, a little too quickly. "Uh, no, sweetie. We have some nice bottled water at home." That seemed to satisfy Yuffie, and she took her father's hand and bounced out the door, pulling him along behind.

They were gone. The Schemer puked all over Zexion's sweater vest.

After cleaning cat vomit out of his clothes, he spent the next few hours rearranging the books in the library. Some of the kids- like that no-good Hayner Bodeen- liked to make the encyclopedias spell dirty words. Once everything was comfortably back in A-Z order, however, and he'd cleaned the windows twice, he had nothing left to do.

Fortunately, the universe granted him another visitor.

The town's mayor, Lexaeus Overfoot, did not often venture out of his office, content to stay up there doing whatever it was he did all day. Zexion wasn't entirely sure. People voted for him because they liked him, mostly because he didn't talk much. In any case, on this particular day, Zexion's increasingly crummy 26th birthday, Lexaeus decided to come into the library.

"Hello, Zexion," he said. He was enormous. He was barely able to fit through the door. Lexaeus stopped right in front of his desk, looming over him like a brick wall. Zexion felt pathetically small in comparison.

"Hi."

"Hello," he said again. "I trust I'll have your support in the upcoming elections?"

"Elections?" Zexion Drew was not big on politics, particularly of the local variety, which as far as he could tell were basically useless.

"You'll vote for me for mayor," Lexaeus said. Zexion stared at him. Did anyone else even run for mayor of Twilight Town? Was that a thing that people who weren't Lexaeus Overfoot did?

Lexaeus waited for a long moment for Zexion to answer. He did not. Lexaeus waited another long moment, stretching out the silence, before speaking again.

"I would come out and vote, if I were you." He leaned forward over the desk. "Remember, you're a government employee. You wouldn't want the library's funding to be cut, would you?" he said dangerously. Zexion inhaled a sharp breath.

"Are you threatening me!?" he asked indignantly.

"Well, I have to go. Governmental business to attend to." Lexaeus straightened his suspenders. "I'll see you later, Mr. Drew." He walked back out, knocking his shoulder against the door frame as he did so. Zexion stared after him.

This day was bizarre.

Creepy, germophobic funeral directors! Corruption in the highest levels of government! And on top of that, an entire 3.5 people- Riku Spears only counted as half a person- had come to his library, and not a single one had had any interest at all in reading. Zexion wondered why he kept up this business at all. He should have been a dentist, like his mother wanted. There was no fulfillment to be had in book-shepherding.

Every year, every single year, Zexion Drew's birthday came and went without any fanfare at all. He was used to it- that's what he wanted. But he always had a lingering suspicion that he might be missing out on something. Everyone else celebrated their birthdays, right? So there must be something to the whole birthday thing, right?

Unfortunately, the work day finished very uneventfully. Just as he was about to give up and go home to watch Clue and eat popcorn, a timid knock sounded on the door. The door creaked its way open.

Demyx Dolor's distinctive hair poked in, followed quickly by the rest of him.

"Oh, hi," he said. "I wasn't sure if you'd still be here, or if, uh, I'd have to go to your house. Uh, wait. What I mean is, uh-"

"Are you ok?"

"Happy Birthday, Zexy!" he cheered. "Uh, Zexion," he corrected himself quickly, before pulling out what he was hiding behind the door.

A tiny birthday cake, with a single, unlit candle.

Zexion stared at it.

"Sorry, I didn't have time to make anything," he said sheepishly. "You know, work and everything. So I had to pick it up at the grocery store. Hope you like chocolate." He placed the tiny cake on Zexion's desk.

"How did you know it was my birthday?" Zexion asked softly.

"I saw it on your driver's license. Oh shoot, that sounds creepy." He blushed. "But uh, yeah. I love birthdays. And I didn't want to not give you a present, but I didn't know what you would like, and who needs more stuff, right? And everyone likes cake." Zexion Drew hated cake. But this was the nicest cake he'd ever seen in his life. He would pretend to like cake for Demyx Dolor.

"Thanks," he said with a smile. "It's the nicest present I've gotten all day." Demyx beamed.

"Well, you know how it works. Make a wish!" He looked at the cake, then he frowned. "Oh, the candle went out- shoot." He fished in his pockets. "My lighter's in my car. Just a sec-"

"It's fine," Zexion laughed, stopping him. "I can make a wish anyway."

He leaned forward, and gently, very gently, he blew out the imaginary flame.

"Nice!" said Demyx. "What did you wish for? Wait, no, don't tell me or it won't come true."

Zexion Drew looked at Demyx's face. He was so handsome, so excited about Zexion's birthday. He was more excited than Zexion was about Zexion's birthday. And something clicked. Something that probably should have clicked a while ago.

Zexion suddenly felt profoundly stupid.

He stood up and neatly pushed his chair under his desk. Demyx looked at him questioningly. Zexion marched right around the desk and straight up to where Demyx was standing. He wasn't sure where all of this courage came from, but he knew exactly what he had to do. He stood up tall, and then-

And then, he totally chickened out.

Zexion Drew leaned up and kissed Demyx Dolor on the cheek.

OH MY GOD I JUST ABOUT DIED OF ADORABLEITIS

Anyway. I may be busy, but I don't forget my fanfics' birthdays. :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZEXION DREW! 12 chapters in 12 months... not too bad, eh? Anyway, sorry, loyal readers, that I've been so busy- but look, they kissed. That buys me a few more weeks, right? RIGHT??

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