To all of my lovely readers: I've redone this chapter of the story. It's taken me a bit, but I think I like this a bit more. I want Logan a bit more rugged and I want her to be a bit more on par with him. So do you like the new portrayal of them together?

Also, I changed this story to a M rating just to make sure I'm safe. There's no sex scenes (I haven't decided if I want to do one yet or not) but there's a bit of swearing that'll be going on. I'd like to think Logan can swear like a sailor when he gets angry enough. So warning and caution and all that.

And final question: Do you want more on her time at the mansion before Apocalypse where she gets closer to Logan, or would you rather it jump straight to the second chapter?

Anyways, hope you enjoy and review on your thoughts!

I owed Charles Xavier more than I could ever repay. He had taken me, a scraggly mutant woman who literally dragged herself to his door, and given me a place and a home. He had kindly shown me through his gorgeous mansion and given me food when he realized how hungry I was. He had given me clothes and sent me straight to bed as if he knew how truly exhausted I was. Even in the middle of the day, I had slept easily and gratefully. For even this one night of security, I owed him so much. He had also promised me schooling - which I had never been able to dream of. Any knowledge I had wanted, I had to learn on my own and it wasn't much.

Fleeing my parents had been the hardest decision of my life. Even though they abused the "spawn of the devil" it was still my home, it was still my bed, and I was still safe. I hadn't realized how hard it would be on the streets and it took so much mental fortitude not to run back to the abusers of my past.

But now Charles Xavier had taken me in and given me a home and in return I would be loyal to him. I owed the man my life.

"Katherine, are you awake?" I blinked a few times, clearing my thoughts and the few layers of sleep I was still under. The voice was familiar. Storm, that was her name. She was with the Professor when I first arrived. She was kind, I remembered that. A kind face and kind eyes.

"No!"

There was soft laughter. "Katherine, your first day of school starts today." I was scared and nervous but also excited. It was time for a new chapter of my life.

"I can't leave the bed. The blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust."

More laughter echoed through the door. "I will tell the Professor that you couldn't come down and eat a plate of breakfast with us. Even if it is freshly cooked and waiting on the table already." Oh, below the belt. My stomach growled in protest and I knew the bed had lost priority.

"Cheater." Knowing she had me, the woman left me to my own devices and I threw off the covers, promising them a hasty return and asking for their continued trust. The clothes I had last night were gone and hopefully for the good of humanity they had been burned. They served me for a full six months of use and I had not been able to wash clothes all that often.

I opened the closet and found a variety of clothes in a variety of sizes. Unfortunately I was on the skinny side. My ribs were visible enough and my body a bit too bony, which led me down to the smallest size they had. I dragged on the pants, pulled the shirt on, and dashed out the door to the kitchen. I made it in time to see a man sitting down beside my plate and I leapt to the open chair and wrapped my arms around the plate. Around me there was giggling and laughing, but the man quirked an eyebrow at me like I was crazy. Then again I probably looked crazy to him at the moment.

"My food."

"I really wasn't going to give it away," Storm stated from across the table. "I'm not that mean." The man snorted in amusement and sent me another look, this time shaking his head at me. I just tightened my arms around my plate. I wasn't going to take any chances.

There were about five of us around the table, though each face was unfamiliar to me. I hadn't met many people yesterday except for the Professor and Storm when they showed me around the school. Good thing I wasn't too shy around new people and this plate of food looked delicious. Mine now!

"Well, on the off chance." Slowly I ate my food, savoring each bite. With each swallow my stomach cramped and I schooled my features as I tried to hide the pain.

"Is everything all right? Do you want me to make you something else?" The soft motherly voice asked me. I felt my face flush and looked down into my food. Honesty was the best policy by this point.

"Not counting supper yesterday, I've been without food for two days. And it's been weeks since I've managed to eat more than twice a day."

"Ah, I see." As I looked up, her pure blue eyes gazed at me with a look I knew. There was a heaviness to them, a sadness, and understanding. It was a look of someone who had once been on the streets and remembered the experience well. My respect for her went up a few notches.

"Well, if she doesn't finish it, I'll have to do it for everyone's sake." The teasing voice came from a young boy who grinned as he smiled at me. Happy to have the conversation on lighter waters, I brandished my fork at him.

"Bobby," Storm warned, but he just grinned boyishly at her. She sighed but a ghost of a smile appeared briefly on her face.

"At your own risk." Everyone laughed at me and continued to eat.

"Katherine, today I want to take you to the danger room," Storm told me a few minutes later once she had finished her food.

"Sounds fun," I quipped. What kind of fun was it going to be if the literal name was the danger room?

"It's a simulator we use to gauge abilities. We test different mutants in different environments and find our own strengths and weaknesses. I don't expect you to be the best, Katherine. I just want to know what you can do." Well, I could lift a wallet out of a pocket without even being near someone, and I could make food fly away from a cart so fast you wouldn't even see it gone. And I could make myself jump really high if I needed to get away from the police, and even jump from building to building. I wasn't trained for combat, just for sneaking around.

I shrugged at Storm. "I don't know how to fight. At all."

"Where do you think we all started from?" When I turned, I saw a redhead walking towards the table, smiling at me. "My name is Jean and even I started out knowing nothing on how to fight."

"Says you," the man beside me muttered. Jean just lifted her chin and sat down, making the man's smile appear for a split second. I was amazed at the way it transformed him, making him almost approachable in the split second it was there before it was replaced by the neutral scowl once more.

"Have you been in a fight before?" Jean asked me.

"Sure, some. Usually I just get out of it before it becomes an issue."

"Which can be useful in it's own way."

Finally I had to push away the plate. I'd eaten a solid half of it and my stomach was completely stuffed, and I wasn't going to chance eating more to throw it up later. "You win," I told the man down at the end of the table. I shoved the plate down the table and past the man sitting beside me, who idly stabbed a piece of bacon and ate it.

"Hey!"

"It's the toll, kid," he replied gruffly. At first glance, he didn't seem the type of man to be capable of teasing. His demeanor was gruff and he just an arrogant confidence, also giving the allusion of someone so tough that he wouldn't even realize the concept of teasing. But Bobby took the ribbing in stride as if it happened often and grinned when he finally got the plate of food he'd been eyeing.

"Sweet. Storm cooking."

"Bobby," Storm cautioned. He dug in regardless and I stood, ready to face this so called danger room.

"Where is this danger room?"

"Follow me. I expect the rest of you there shortly." The man beside me grunted and through a mouthful of food Bobby made a noise that either sounded like an affirmative or was a groan of resignation. Jean stood with us and we both followed Storm down the hallway.

"Today Storm and I will be watching from another room," Jean stated. "You don't have to fight on the front lines and be heroic. Don't hurt or strain yourself."

"We want to see you in a fighting situation and how you react. Since you were not allowed to use your powers as often as you were supposed to, I expect you to not be able to handle what the others can." It was true. My parents didn't allow me to use any of my powers when I lived with them and on the streets, you did not use your powers in front of anyone. There were too many humans afraid of mutants and too many of them willing to resort to violence before asking questions. I had kept my head down and my powers on a tight leash.

"I'll try my best."

"And that's all we'll ever ask of you," Jean said, placing a hand on my arm. I flinched, unused to the contact, but she didn't retract her hand. "Just do your best and push yourself, and you will be up to our level in no time at all." Okay, so I knew that was bullshit, but she was trying to make me feel better.

"Of course."

"Would you like a uniform, Katherine?" Storm asked as we stopped outside of the room.

"No thanks." Those things were skin tight and I did not want to be showing off my skinny body. Plus I was used to baggy clothes.

"We'll get you some better clothes later today, Kat," Jean said with a smile.

In this moment of seeing her smiling down at me gently, I felt as if this is what a mother should be. I felt grateful and relieved, loved and understood all at once. It felt like even if I fucked up this trial, she wouldn't be disappointed in me as my mother had been. She would still be there for me.

"I don't have any money."

"That's okay, we do."

"I'll pay you back." The two women looked at one another and sensing my pride was on the line, they dropped it. When I had money, I would pay them back. It was a matter of pride and pride was all I had left to call my own.

We walked into the room and I was surprised to see it was pretty huge, but incredibly empty. A small blue sphere was in the middle of the room and hung from the ceiling, while silver bars splayed out from it, forming an X. The floor was the same, except with no sphere.

"We'll be watching you from up there," Storm pointed out. "Here, let me show you how the danger room works." With that her eyes whitened and she began to lift into the air as wind whipped at our hair. My mouth hit the floor in absolute shock. The chick was flying. I could jump. She could fly. I wanted her powers.

"She controls the weather, as well as the wind. With it she can lift herself in the air and keep herself there," Jean explained even as she smiled at my disbelief. When Storm made it inside the room flickered once before going completely dark. "Here we go." When the lights came on, I was surrounded by buildings and people were milling around me, much like they had in New York. I reached out and touched a person, who glared at me and kept walking. But the person was solid. I touched, I felt, I knew the texture of his jacket.

"My god."

"For all purposes, this room becomes reality. Understand these aren't just holograms. They can and will hurt you if given the chance. That's why it is called the danger room." Well, it made sense.

"Hey, starting without me?" The kid who had polished off my breakfast pushed his way between people to get to us and Jean shook her head.

"We're just explaining the danger room."

"Ah. My name's Bobby." He reached out a hand and I shook it. "Or Iceman. Either one." It didn't take a genius to figure out his mutant power would be ice so i didn't have to ask him about it. Plus I was still uncomfortable sharing my powers with anyone. I wasn't used to being open about mutants or their abilities.

"Why are we here?" The voice was heavy accented and purely Russian. I absolutely loved it. If there was one weakness I had, it was Russian accents and I had no idea why. So this guy was going to just read me a story one day so I could listen. He just didn't know it yet.

"Showing the new girl the ropes," Bobby answered.

"I see. My name is Jason. It is a pleasure."

"Likewise," I said with a broad smile.

"Now all we're missing is Logan. Where is that man?" When Bobby shrugged, Jean sighed. "Why don't we start without him. Storm? They're ready!" Around us the city dropped and then changed in a blink of an eye. Now we were standing on gravel with darkness pressing in from all sides. Various wreckage littered the ground, even a car was on fire not too far from us."This is a defensive exercise," Jean began. "You will be hunted and you need to hide and survive. Afterwards, we can work on offense." All three of us nodded.

"You startin' without me, Jean?" The black haired man from before appeared beside us, his arms crossed over his chest. He smirked at Jean with pure arrogance and she shook her head. He was dressed in the tight black leather of the other two men, but on him, it looked absolutely delectable. It hugged him in all the right places and accentuated everything on him.

In other more female words, I'd love to sink my teeth into that sexy, sexy man.

"We told you not to be late."

"Since everyone is here, this is Katherine. She's our newest student as of today." Bobby smiled, Jason nodded at me, and Logan just looked at me. He wasn't even sizing me up, he was just looking as if I was a person and not worth his time to check out. "Kat, what are your mutant powers?" I froze at the question. I knew I had to say it eventually but I wasn't prepared. I didn't know these people well enough. But then again, I was here in a safe haven. Hopefully, that meant the knowledge of my powers would be safe here.

"Telekinesis." Jean smiled and I continued. "I can also talk to people's minds. Influence them to a degree. But not very well and usually I can only manage it when I'm scared or running." I looked away from the group as I colored in shame.

"You just haven't had the practice," she said, placing both hands on my shoulders. "That's why you're here. I'm telekinetic too as well as psychic. I can help train you." I blinked.

Someone else had the same powers? They weren't afraid of me? When my powers had manifested my parents became terrified of me, going to extremes to prevent me from taking over their minds. One of the more fun moments was when they made headgear out of aluminum foil and wore it for a full week.

"Yeah, she's a really good teacher," Bobby said, probably trying to clear the tension. "She taught me a lot about how to use my powers, so don't worry." I smiled gratefully to the boy.

"So let's get started. I'll be watching with Storm." She lifted into the air and my jaw dropped as she flew to the top and out of sight.

"Everybody can fucking fly but me," I stated in a bland, dry tone. Bobby laughed, Jason smiled, and even Logan was smirking in amusement.

At that, we heard a loud sound and everyone but me bolted almost at the same time. I blinked, then ran for cover myself. I was beginning to feel a twinge of fear. I didn't know what was coming out of that darkness. I saw a purple light on the ground, then it moved quickly from side to side and up and down. A scanner of some type? Now a purple blast blew into the car that was on fire, slamming into it and flinging it back into the darkness. My heart stopped. Oh god, what did I get myself into? No, i couldn't be afraid. I breathed. If I lost my head now, I would definitely get hurt and I was not doing that on my first day of training.

Focus girl, focus.

Okay, okay. Around me, was...gravel. And dirt. And debris. And flaming cars. It was like a war had occurred, or even was occurring in this spot. There was nothing but chaos and devastation around me.

I knew where the others were in a vague sense; I had the ability to sense an aura or a field around them, whatever you wanted to call it. When I knew someone better I could find them easily but for now they were wavering but easy enough to place for this exercise. They were all scattered about, far enough to not be able to help me but close enough to be in range of my powers.

So that left me alone, in a place where I couldn't really hide well. Right. Well, these had to be robots of some type so I couldn't really influence them. After all, they were just wires and circuits and not sentient. So I was screwed. I didn't have to run, so I was screwed. And I was pretty sure they didn't have pockets I could lift. Ugh. I growled under my breath; why couldn't they have made the enemies human to give me a fighting chance?

The light began to scan again and this time, I saw Bobby swivel around a car and blast off a shot of ice. I heard a horrid sound, a scraping like nails on a chalkboard, and some sort of robotic voice, almost glitching. Then I heard a crash. I looked up only to see something rolling past the huge eighteen wheeler I was hiding behind. It was a robot head; a purple robot head with sizzling wires and glinting purple eyes and oh my god is it looking at me? It didn't help that it was covered in ice and all shiny, glinty, and just demonic looking. Oh god, I was going to have nightmares for weeks.

A shot had me whipping my head to look at Bobby, who was on the run. I saw Jason run towards a huge piece of scrap metal and turn silver as he picked it up. I gaped; that was a car door and had to be heavy but he threw the metal easily and I heard more of that god awful noise.

However the light was still following Bobby. Now, it was my turn to show what I could do. I lifted my hands and picked up a car he was running past, blocking him from the light for a split second. Lucky for him I had done it. A purple blast ripped the car from my grasp and I cried out as my head began to pound. Not good. I wasn't used to lifting things as heavy as cars. Yet it was enough and Bobby was hidden and out of sight.

Bobby, this is Kat. I'm going to throw up a diversion. Can you shoot another one of those things?

For the woman who let me have Storm cooked breakfast? Absolutely. I snorted in amusement and shook my head.

Here goes the decoys.

I picked up gravel and made it into the vague shape of a human, running them away from Bobby and behind cars. The light quickly snapped to where the gravel had hidden and I moved them again just in case. I saw the blue flash of light and heard the sound, which meant another machine was down. However, I knew I was about done and we had barely started. Blood was dripping from my nose and my head was aching.

"Hey kid, you all right?" Beside me I saw Logan, who was crouching beside of me, his eyes on my face. When the hell did he get here? How did I not notice the man? He had literally snuck up and had to have been sitting there for a bit.

"Eh, I've had worse. How many more are there?"

"One."

"I can hold out for one." He looked at me in disbelief and I became slightly annoyed at his insinuating glance. "Oh come on, like a nosebleeds going to kill me. Jesus."

I was surprised when I saw the grin on his face and was struck by how gorgeous he was. It wasn't exactly a model pretty, he was rugged and masculine. His hair was cropped just so when he had his face tilted at this angle, and his eyes were laughing, but still shone with strength. That was what I respected most about men was their strength, and this one seemed to have it in spades. It didn't help that he looked absolutely delicious in that leather suit he was wearing. Combined with the grin, I knew this man was definitely going to be a distraction for me.

"Think you can handle one more run of those gravel monsters?"

"For you? Maybe. What's the plan boss?" He grunted in amusement.

"I need to get to Jason."

"All right mister almost stole my breakfast. Distraction, coming right up." He grinned again and ruffled my hair before standing. "But not if you keep doing that."

"Picky."

"Yeah well, live and learn boss." I lifted my hands and more gravel people appeared to the right. I sent them off in every direction and the purple light quickly found them and scrambled to lock on to one. When it would lock on to one, I let it drop and ran another just on the edge of its sight. I kept it up for a bit before I heard Logan from somewhere to my left.

"Hey tin man, how's the throwing arm?"

The fuck?

I turned to see a silver Jason pick up Logan and fling him into the darkness. I heard the sound of dying robotics yet again and peeked out to see Logan land, three claws emerging from his hands. He popped his neck side to side and flicked his wrists, making the blades go back into his hands. Holy. Shit. The. Fuck. What were his powers? Did those claws come from everywhere?

"This was supposed to be a defensive exercise," Storm's voice echoed around the room. Around us everything dissolved and we appeared back into the empty room from before.

"A good defense is a good offense," Logan stated sardonically. Storm and Jean flew from the top of the dome and landed near Logan. The rest of us made our way over and Jean spotted the blood instantly.

"Katherine, are you all right?" I had a pounding headache from hell, blood coming out of my nose, and running on empty for energy.

Then I saw Logan's smile. That was worth every second of pain. I hadn't backed down and he appreciated me for it. Yummy Leather Logan. Yup, that's what he was. That smile should have been illegal.

"I'll live. I'm just not used to doing all that at once."

"Let's get you to a doctor."

"Don't need one. Gimmie a towel, some aspirin, and a couple hours of sleep. I'll be golden."

"Kid, don't argue," Logan stated, crossing his arms. "Nosebleed ain't gonna kill ya, but don't be an idiot and not get it checked out."

"Don't call me kid," I growled. He smirked and I glared. Gorgeous asshole.

"Let's get you cleaned up at least," Storm said and put a hand to my back. She guided me out of the room and towards I assumed the infirmary. "You did well for our first session. You just need to build up your powers."

"Maybe I'll take Jean up on that offer of training."

"That's the spirit."

"You're concentrating too hard on holding each disc as a separate entity. Don't think so hard or you will overthink it."

A week later had me training with Jean and her husband Scott. The job was to lift a disc up into the air and fling it high to where Scott could destroy it with his laser eyes. I had been doing fine with one, but when she ordered me to do two at once, I couldn't.

When I lifted one, the other would begin to wobble. When I caught the one wobbling, the other would fall, and I would catch that one, and continue the never ending cycle. I was the first to admit frustration but when you're spending hours doing something that she could do quite easily; it was hard on your ego.

"I can't get it!" I finally exclaimed and let them drop in frustration. To my chagrin I felt tears and buried my face in my hands. "I'll never be good at this! I'll never be a good mutant! I can't even manage something so simple!" The tears leaked out despite my best efforts to keep them in and I felt Jean come over and wrap her arms around me.

"I know things are tough for you right now, Katherine. All of us went through this at one point but remember, you're not alone anymore. I'm here to teach you and I will teach you for as long as it takes."

"You can always ask me for help," Scott said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I may not be psychic but I can always come out here and practice with you. I know enough from Jean to at least be a good training partner. Don't be so discouraged. You're doing great for your level of abilities."

At this moment with Jean's arms wrapped around me and Scott's hand on my shoulder, I felt the peace and comfort I had always craved. This is what a family should have been like. This is what my family should have been like.

So when the tears started again, they came harder and faster than before. I couldn't stop the keening wails for all the years of pain that I had endured for the sake of my parents love. I couldn't stop the pain in my heart for all the years lost when I could have been here and been happy.

"Why couldn't I have parents like you?" I cried out. "Why?! Why did they hate me? Why am I not good enough? Why did I have to be born a mutant?"

Jean's arms tightened and Scott knelt to wrap both Jean and myself in his arms. They both knew this explosion of tears was a long time in coming and needed to happen.

"You're a little too old to be our child," Scott began. "But if we had a child, we would want her to be like you. You just had bad circumstances and bad experiences. Stay here with us and Xavier's school will become your family. We will take those bad memories away and teach you love and acceptance. You will find your own reason to love being a mutant in time. We all have had to search for our own reasons. So don't give up hope, Katherine. You will learn in time."

I heard him through the haze of pain and sobs, but I couldn't stop this breakdown if my life depended on it.

But through it all, Scott and Jean held me as I cried for all the times I hadn't been able to before.

A few months later, I was in my bed exhausted. My alarm clock had already gone off for class and I had slammed it back into silence. Mentally I had little to no strength because of the training Jean and I had done last night. Once I had gotten through the mental block of holding two discs at once, the rest had tumbled into place. I was now able to flight five or six at a time and hold each of them at will.

It was a matter of simply letting go of the fact that you were holding five things and letting your mind expand to five or six threads instead of focusing on a single one. Once you were used to operating many tangents at a time, you went into autopilot and it became so laughably easy to handle. It was now just a matter of building up my mutant powers to back up the skills I had learned, and Jean had not gone easy on me.

"Oi, kid! You're late for class." I groaned at the interruption and threw my face into my pillow in agitation. I didn't want to get up today.

"I don't wanna."

"Get up," Logan said from behind the door. For a week or so I had been constantly late since the intensity had ramped up in Jean's training, and Logan had been volun-told to be my personal alarm clock. He was quickly getting tired of the job.

"I'm naked, go away." Silence.

"You're supposed to be in class," he finally stated.

"Yeah, well, so are you," I shot back, my voice muffled by the pillow.

"Storm's teaching this time, so I'm off the hook. You aren't."

"Oh shut up and leave me alone." I heard Logan sigh before the door opened and he walked in. I felt the weight of his glare as he stood beside my bed. I shook my head. I wasn't moving. So he decided to pull the covers off of me. And froze halfway through.

"Kat! For the love of-"

"I told you I was naked," I stated, calmly yanking the covers from his grasp and covering me again. I turned my face away from him as I did it so he wouldn't see the royal blush staining my cheeks. "You didn't listen. Now go away. I wanna sleep."

"No," he stated. He was silent for a moment, then asked, "And why are you so tired today?"

"Training." At his confused grunt, I continued. "Jean was teaching me stuff, kinda pushing my limits. I'm tired, I just wanna sleep."

"Gotta go to defense class." I made an unintelligible sentence before rolling onto my stomach and going back to sleep. "She can't have pushed you that hard."

"Well, we had sex afterwards. A mindblowing orgy. Seriously. Leave. Me. Alone."

Logan should have known by now to pull a Storm and wake me with a cup of coffee as bribery. I was nasty and irritable in the mornings these days, but then again the man had a hide of steel and it didn't bother him.

Finally, he was silent, probably fumbling for a retort to come back to my last statement. Instead of walking away and scrapping their dignity as any other male would have done, Logan simply picked me up, making sure my blanket was wrapped around me, and literally threw me outside of my door. I blinked once in pure amazement that he would have the audacity to do such a thing, and the people outside were staring at me in amazement.

"Logan, you son of a bitch!"

I heard the door click and with the click I instantly became pissed off. I got up and gathered the blanket around me with what little dignity I could manage and glared at the door. The lock popped open to reveal a surprised Logan. I walked past him and glared one more time, smirking in dark amusement when he flew backwards and into the wall behind him. I could tell he was shocked by the blatant use of my new powers and he was awed at how much power I wielded against him. But of course Logan was not one to back down from a challenge, and the satisfied female look was enough of a challenge. He smirked as he rose to his feet.

"At least I got to see you naked." I gaped at the man who knew he had the upper hand once more. "Nice view." And with that parting shot he sauntered off as my face heated up once more. I slammed the door shut with my mind and quickly ran to my closet to dress.

With a morning like this, it was probably safest to go to class.

As months grew into a year, I found myself close to everyone at the school. What Scott said had finally come true; they were like a new family to me and I had many memories to replace the bad ones of my childhood. However I'd come the closest to Jean. She was my mentor, surrogate mother, and closest friend. I told her of my every thought and secret because I knew she wasn't going to repeat anything I said. She in return did the same. She spoke of her secrets, fears, and desires and between us everything was sacred. She and I were inseparable.

"You're not concentrating well at all," Jean said with a smile.

"Just thinking about things."

"Logan again?" I glared at her and her smiled deepened. "You should tell him about your feelings."

I had come to terms recently with the fact that I was head over heels in puppy love with Logan. He was arrogant and sarcastic, even acerbic, but there was a gentle core inside that made him care and take care of the ones he called friends. He was loyal and true and though he was gruff when he tried to help others, he was there when you needed him. He was everything I wanted and desired in a man and it really didn't help that he wore leather to every training exercise. I couldn't concentrate! But there was only one problem.

"You know as well as I do that even though he may flirt with me, he's in love with you. You're everything I'm not. I'm not a level five mutant, I'm not as beautiful, and I'm certainly not as engaging as you are. You're gentle and kind and I'm well...me." She laughed.

"Exactly, you're not me. Firstly, I'm married and though Logan may not want to realize it, I'm not leaving my husband for him. Secondly you should know better than to think that power levels matter to Logan. He loves someone for that person, not how powerful they are. And lastly, you're not me. That is why he flirts with you. He doesn't do that with every woman, does he?"

"Well, no."

"You're different from the others, Kat. And he can't ignore you as easily as you seem to think he can. Just give it time and you'll see."

"Maybe."

The door opened and both of us looked to see Logan entering, his eyebrow raising at our meditative positions.

"You two are doing a lotta talkin' for meditating."

"We're women, Logan. Plus Katherine has a crush." My eyes widened and I whirled to glare at Jean.

"Shut up!" I hissed at her, but at that moment of acute embarrassment I forgot about Logan's supersonic hearing.

"Oh?"

"It's no one, Jean was just being funny. Ha, ha Jean, you made a funny." At my anger she laughed and her mind brushed against mine.

Forgive me. But now the fact that you like someone will be in his mind. He won't be able to forget about it and will think about it. With men like Logan, sometimes this is the way you have to operate.

With the finesse of a sledgehammer! What if he doesn't want me and backs off because I may have a man?!

Ah, but you don't have a man. You have a crush on a man, which is a whole different thing. Now he'll have to see you as a woman because you may actually be thinking of getting with a man. Trust me, you'll see what I mean.

You better be right, or I'll eat a donut in front of you or something. I felt her amusement and saw her smile.

"Look, if you two really want to gossip about stupid shit all day, that's fine, but don't talk minds while I'm in here."

See? It bothers him that he can't know about it. Typical Logan.

"We're sorry for not including you, Logan, but you're not a woman," Jean said with a smile.

"Yeah, girl time and all," I agreed, still irritated about the slip Jean had said.

"Professor wants you, so get up kid." I rolled my eyes at the nickname. He only used it when he was irritated with me or wanted to get under my skin, and I was used to it by now so it didn't bother me as much as it had in the past.

"Right. See you later tonight, Jean." She hummed her response and closed her eyes to meditate once more. I headed out the door and down the hall, aware that Logan was closer than normal to me.

"So who's the man you like?" he asked.

"I can't tell you that," I shot back. "It really is a girl thing!" At his look of aggravation I relented a bit. "Look, the guy likes someone else anyway and he doesn't really notice me, so it's not that big of a deal."

We arrived at the door to the Professor's office and I went to open the door, but stopped at Logan's short laugh.

"Like any guy couldn't notice you." I blinked in confusion as he walked away. That man was a mystery and swear to god, I would never be able to figure him out.

I opened the door after a moment and walked inside the Professor's room. He gestured to the seat in front of his desk and I sat.

"Katherine, I know you haven't spoken of your parents much, but today I gave them a call to let them know where their daughter was." The old pain flared to life at the mention of my parents. "I'm sure you know what exactly they told me"

"Sure, keep the spawn of the devil, demon child, whatever insult it was, the hell away from us." The Professor smiled gently. He would be able to hear the pain in my voice.

"The summary, yes. But that is not why I called them. I called them to speak of breaking you off permanently from them. You will no longer be a part of their lives physically as well as legally. You will cut all ties from them. I want to know what thoughts you have on this matter?"

I blinked once, then twice at the Professor's sudden interest in my parents.

"Well, all they ever brought me was pain. Anything I try to do for them now they will throw it back in my face. And here Professor, here is my family. I owe you everything in the world for that. I don't want anything to do with my parents anymore."

"Good. Then I want to extend to you an invitation to join my team, the X-men. I know Jean has been training you so that you can fight. I know that you are so much stronger than when you arrived, and I believe you are ready for more responsibility. If you join, you will be paid a salary. Others aren't, but I know that paying us back is important to you, and if you wish to pay us back with your wages, I will understand. But you will work for me, do you understand?"

It's hard to explain what it feels like when everything you've ever dreamed of is literally dumped in your lap. You're happy, scared, excited, nervous, jittery, everything all at once. This was what I had been searching for most of my life for. A place to belong as a proud mutant, the ability to hold my pride, and a family that would love me. I had all three here with Charles Xavier.

"I accept. I will become part of the X-men. I will make you proud and pay you back for everything you've given to me." He smiled at me, a kind fatherly smile full of approval, and wheeled from behind his desk to come over to me.

"Good. Then let us get everything set up and done."

It was about a week later that I was roaming the halls, unable to sleep. Some nights I just was so awake and alive, it was hard for me to sleep. Instead of tossing and turning all night I'd taken to walking about to see if anyone else was up and stay with them until I could fall asleep. Fortunately for me, I heard voices coming from the kitchen and I walked towards the door and looked in, only to see Logan and Jean together.

Logan was close to Jean and even from here I could feel the tension, see it in their stances and facial expressions. I just instinctively knew this was a moment that shouldn't be intruded on. I went to leave but Jean finally spoke.

"Logan," she whispered in pain. I wanted to leave, I truly did, but I couldn't help but watch like a guilty girlfriend.

"But Jean!" he exclaimed, closing the distance between them and pulling her to him in a swift move. Her eyes widened at him. "I love you!" He quickly stated and went to kiss her. She immediately pulled away and put distance between them.

"I'm married, Logan, and I love my husband. You have to find someone else," she ordered firmly.

"No one else-"

"Don't, Logan!" Her voice stopped in what he was going to say, but my heart sank as I realized it. No one would compare to Jean. No one was good enough except for Jean. I had known it all along, but to hear it like this? I felt my heart breaking and crushing into tiny pieces. "There is someone out there better than me that loves you, Logan. You have to realize I can never love you like you want me to." He flinched as if her words cut him. "Please, Logan. Move on from me. Find someone else because I love Scott and I will not leave him."

He stretched his hand out to touch her and she quickly moved away. I felt his pain as his hand dropped back to his side. His pain was just as deep as my own and in that moment I would have given him to Jean and let him go completely. I loved him too much to not let him go to Jean, and that was what it seemed like I would have to do. I had no hope here, nothing at all.

"Katherine! What are you doing here?" My head snapped up at my name and I immediately threw on the fakest smile I could muster at the moment.

"I can't sleep again, you know me. I was just taking a walk and wanted a drink before I went out in the gardens. Should I come back?"

"No, we're done here." I saw Logan flinch and pain swamped every fiber of my being. I quickly grabbed a random drink from the fridge and made to dash out, but Jean linked her arm through mine. "I want to walk with you tonight. Is that all right?" she asked.

"Sure," I managed to mutter.

She led me out of the room and through hallways, and finally outside to the gardens. I sat down on the stone bench surrounded on all sides of the house, hidden away to where no one could see me, and finally let loose the tears that had been threatening. Jean wrapped her arms around me.

"It will be all right, Katherine."

"No, it won't," I sobbed back. "No one is good enough but you, Jean. Not even me."

The next week was pure hell for me. I knew the love I had for Logan wouldn't go away any time soon and watching him walk around like a zombie had my heart clenching every time. I wanted to make his pain go away, I wanted to be there for him, but I couldn't, because I wasn't good enough for him. And that hurt as much as seeing his pain. I was rejected before I even had a chance.

Everyone saw my sadness and each person tried their best to cheer me up. Bobby took me to one of the upper rooms, filled it with food and booze, and made a movie night out of it. Storm took me flying through a thunderstorm. Jason actually read me a story making sure his accent was pronounced when he did so. But Jean, who knew why I was feeling like this, actually helped me the most.

She told the Professor.

The Professor had promptly sent me out on my first mission as an X-men (so he claimed, I knew it was just to get me out of the house). I was to look for signs of a human group targeting mutants. I was in a train station late at night, finally resting after a full day of just wandering about aimlessly. I paid attention for the violent hatred, but also was enjoying the time away from the mansion. It was my home but the Professor had been right; I needed to get away from all the drama for a bit.

I let my head fall back over the bench and sighed. I needed to find this resistance cell but was in no hurry to do so. In fact I wanted to spend more time just wandering around. The Professor had been kind enough to forward enough money for the mission and would take it out of my wages later, so this was my first time going out into the world with the ability to take care of myself. It was a heady feeling and gave me confidence. I was no longer the homeless mutant from a year before. I was a class two, perhaps three on occasion that I could manage it, and I was growing into myself.

"Get on the train, you filthy fucking mutant." My head snapped up as I thought it was directed at me, but my eyes narrowed when I saw a young girl surrounded by four burly men.

From here I could see her catlike eyes flit around in fear and knew that she was, in fact, a mutant. One of the things Jean had taught me was how to distinguish between human and now it was definitely coming in handy. I saw the guns and knives pointed toward the girl and she grudgingly got on the train. With a sadistic smile on my face, I got on the train with them. Instead of going right like they did, I went left but sat down facing them.

I watched them the whole ride but they did nothing to the poor golden haired girl between them. She was silent because she knew that no humans would come to her rescue. Her eyes betrayed her every few seconds; her terror was making her powers rise to the surface to protect her. If she cried for help she might be executed on the train and she was smart enough to know it.

When they got off the train, I followed them, but not too closely. When they turned to see if anyone was following them, I influenced them to look away from me, to not notice me. Another gift from Jean. When they went down back alleys to a metal door, they were let in. Once the door shut I knocked and when the man opened the slat to look who it was, he stared into my eyes and that was all it took. The door unlocked as the brainwashed man stepped to the side. I nodded at him once and he locked the door behind me. I then made him faint and sighed in agitation. Now came the fun part.

Professor, do you hear me?

I do, Katherine. Have you seen any evidence of a human terrorist group?

Actually, I have. I'm in their base right now and they're about to torture or kill a little mutant girl. I can't let her be hurt, Professor. The thought 'what if it had been me' wasn't said, but I knew that he would know that's what I had been thinking in following her here.

I see. Do not kill the humans.

But Professor, if I don't, they'll kill another mutant as soon as I leave!

I will track you and lock on to the humans around you. Keep her safe and alive until I can hold onto their minds.

Professor, there's like fifteen of them in here. I can sense them.

Thank you for your concern, but I will have Cerebro's help. I will hold them and reprogram their brain to not be disposed to hatred against mutants.

If you say so. Childish screams echoed hauntingly around me and I moved in one fluid motion. They've started torturing her, Professor. I have to go now.

Go. I am starting Cerebro now.

I ran to the main chamber and what I saw made me stop in disgust. The walls were lined with torture devices, each bloody from what I suspected were mutants. The sick bastards hadn't even cleaned the blood that had pooled off the floor. I knew what some of the devices were but some were foreign to me and I wanted them to stay that way.

My gaze finally found the golden haired child from before. Her wrists were tied and she hung from a hook, her legs also tied. She was flailing as one of the men sliced at her body tauntingly with a Kabar knife. She screamed in pain and desperation, her body flickering and rippling with random colors and textures. She had to be a shifter of some type.

"You idiots picked on the wrong girl today," I stated, bringing the men's attention to me. I stood in the doorway, a hand on my hip, a dark, cocky smile on my face, and snapped my fingers. The men flew away from the girl and slammed hard into the walls behind him.

Fortunately I was never one for gloating. I darted to the girl and lifted her off the hook. I gathered her into my arms as gunfire erupted from around us. I felt pain blossom in my arms and back and leapt high into the air, catching myself on a rafter.

"I gotcha, kid. Just stay as still as you can."

I felt her nod against my chest and I leapt away from the beam as gunfire pinged the metal around us. I kept up my deadly game of cat and mouse, catching one more bullet before the guns stopped and dropped to the floor. I looked down to see the glazed stares of the men and let myself drop to the ground graecefully. I undid the straps as the men all fell to the ground at once.

Done. Are you hurt Katherine?

Yes, I've been shot multiple times. I can't tell you how many, but it hurts, Professor.

Storm, Jean, Cyclops and Logan are all on route in the X-Jet. Stay conscious until then. I felt the weakness in my arms as they dropped to my sides.

I don't know how long that's going to be Professor.

"You're hurt," The kid stated.

"Yeah, a bit," I said. "Are you hurt, kid?"

"No. You blocked them all."

"Kid, I'm going to pass out," I told her. The pressure of the tight leather of the X-men suit was enough to staunch the bleeding, but I had been shot too many times. "There will be people coming for me, people dressed like I am. They're all mutants. Let them know that you're a mutant and ask to come with us. Okay?"

"I can do that," she replied solemnly.

"Good kid." I ruffled her hair and smiled at her even as I began to fall to the floor and into unconsciousness. My last thought was that she had the face of an angel.

"She's waking up."

"Good. How are her vitals?"

"Stable. She seems to be holding on well after the transfusion."

"There's no complications?"

"None. She's reacting well. Katherine, can you hear us?"

The voices were familiar but jumbled together. I blinked and tried to clear my fuzzy mind.

"You're under heavy medication for the pain, Katherine."

"Shot," I murmured.

"Yes, you were. We got to you just in time."

"Kid?"

"She's safe, Katherine. Don't talk right now. Just rest. I'm going to give you another dose of medicine to put you back under."

I couldn't rest until I had seen the golden haired kid and looked around, unable to shift or move my body. Instead of seeing the kid, my eyes landed on a hazy image of Logan. He was standing beside my bed.

"Leather man. Yummy." I snorted at my own idea of a joke and swooned as I felt the medicines kick in. "Never enough." And with that, I slipped back under yet again.

I woke this time to find myself back in my own bed again, feeling much better. I shifted and found that my pain was minimal and finally managed to sit up.

"What do you think you're doing?" a voice growled at me in anger. I looked to it and saw Logan, who was sitting beside of my bed. He was wearing simple sweats and a t-shirt which meant he had been here for quite some time, if not through the night.

"How long was I out?" I asked him.

"A few days. Beast gave you one of his potions that he created. It healed most of the wounds but not all of them."

"Oh. How's the kid?"

"The Professor's getting her a room here. She's fine."

"Good."

It was silent for a few moments, but I could feel the tension bubbling from Logan and knew there was some bitching about to come from him. But why? I hadn't done anything wrong yet. And if I knew him, he wasn't going to wait long until he tore into me.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" There it was. "You go on your first mission without fucking backup? What idiot does that?"

"The Professor sent me on a mission-"

"Fuck what he did, why didn't you ask for backup like a normal goddamn person? It was your first time!"

"Well, I thought I could handle a simple reconnaissance mission of my own," I snapped back, getting irritated at the rapid fire he was giving me. "I was fine until they had kidnapped a kid."

"And instead of calling for back up, you follow them and decide to storm the fucking castle and be the goddamned hero of the day?"

"Look here asshole, you're right; it was my first mission. I should have called for backup, but the Professor did for me when he knew where I was. So don't get all fucking irritated with me when I didn't know!"

"Oh, that's an excuse, you didn't know. So because you didn't know you endangered the life of a kid and get yourself shot so many times you nearly die from bloodloss before we even get there to save your ass?"

"Oh fuck you, Logan!" I shot back. "I did what I had to do, and now I know for next time, so shove off you arrogant bastard! The Professor had his own reasons to send me!"

"And why would that be?" he asked hotly.

"Because I needed time to my fucking self and it was just a goddamned recon mission!"

"So you get yourself shot because you're a child and need alone time."

My anger skyrocketed at him and I felt the room begin to shake with the force of my anger. Logan saw but it didn't deter from his own anger at me.

"I don't know what exactly I saw in you, Logan. I don't know why I even shed tears over you if this is how you thought of me this entire fucking time. No one is as good as Jean, are they? definitely not a cheaper clone of the woman. I'll never be good enough for you." My voice was dangerously low, dangerously violent.

But Logan was stunned to silence. He just stared at me and I realized what exactly I had told him in the heat of the moment, but the words were said. Now he knew.

"You're saying...I was the man you liked?"

"Liked being the key word. I will not be treated like a goddamned invalid or looked down on. So get the hell out of my room, you asshole."

He stood but instead of leaving, he took a step toward me. I did the only thing I could do to defend myself; I took the multitude of pillows around me and began to throw them at him. He simply battered them away as he advanced on me. When he got in range I began to throw punches but he easily caught my hands and held them above my head. My eyes spit fire and anger at him but he stared at them intently.

"All this time you were the woman that liked me. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you love Jean! I'm not going to say anything when I know it wasn't going anywhere. She's everything I'm not! She's beautiful, she is a level five, and she's the most gentle, caring woman I know. Of course you'd love her."

"Do you know why I'm so fucking furious right now?" I rolled my eyes at his question.

"Because I was a fucking idiot who didn't call for backup-" I was silenced with a kiss and that kiss stunned me so much I froze. I did nothing with his lips pressed against mine; I couldn't manage a single thought. Even when he pulled away I was silent, stripped of my anger.

"I'm so fucking furious because the woman that I wanted decided to go off on a mission and almost die, when I could have been there to help her."

"But you love Jean."

"I thought I did. But I have never been so goddamned terrified when I heard you were dying. That's what pisses me off."

"So you're saying..."

"Do I need to say it woman? I want you, not Jean. If I have to convince you, I'll do it." Slowly the realization of what he was saying was sinking in, and hope was blooming inside of my chest.

As if not to spook him or ruin the moment, I softly told him, "I'm really stubborn."

"I know," he stated with a sexy smirk. "That's what I'm counting on."

He swooped down for another kiss and this one I eagerly accepted from him. He let my arms go and they wrapped around him and my hands buried themselves in his shirt and hair, pulling him closer as the kiss intensified, each of us telling each other with our lips the passion we had been holding back for so long. When we broke apart he touched my swollen lips with his thumb.

"Do you know what this means?" he asked me finally.

"What?"

"I don't share. You're mine now."

I mirrored the smirk I had seen on his face so many times before.

"That's what I'm counting on," I replied back with an arrogant confidence.