Dear Komui...

A/N: This is Kanda's reply to winegoldsayuri's "Dear BaKanda", which can be found at http://www .fanfiction .net/s/4880920/1/ (without the spaces). Please read that one first, or else you're going to be the tiniest bit confused ;D
And of course it's dedicated to AND directed at said winegoldsayuri, because she's just about the most stupid, most annoying and most adorable moyashi in the history of cosplay 8D

Disclaimer: Don't own, never will.

Dear Komui,

I'm deeply sorry to inform you about the loss of one of your most promising exorcists, Allen Walker. I happened to be in the nearness when he met his unfortunate end, so I feel the need to tell you about his last heroic moments.

Also, I ask you to spread the word so we won't loose any more exorcists for the same reason. Thank you.

Now, first of all, you probably wonder why I was around at all: it was a mere coincidence. Never mind the bean sprout was meant to investigate in Russia… Apparently an anonymous lead had him travel to a small town in Germany where I was currently wiping out akuma.
As you know as well as I do, poor Allen never knew not to interfere with things that weren't his business. So of course, he had to 'help' me.

We took care of most of the akuma, yet unfortunately, one of them kicked him off a cliff. The footprint on his back may look a lot like mine, but that's just because said akuma was one of that annoying, shape-shifting sort. Of course I destroyed it right away, but it was too late to save the poor, poor bean sprout from falling a hundred meters down into a very un-soft and very bone-breaking trash-dump.

So, unlike what most people think, it wasn't really me who got rid of him – it was FATE.
And obviously, FATE doesn't like people dying my underwear pink.
So please, remind anyone naive enough to actually consider such heresy that FATE won't tolerate it, as seen on the example of poor Allen Walker.

And as we're already at it…do you want me to retrieve his remains from the dump? I personally think it's a rather fitting gravesite for the likes of him, but then again, Lenalee will probably mind.

Yours sincerely,
Kanda

By the way, I know you've been trying to protect him, but sadly, even the Destroyer of Time can't escape fate.
And if he somehow happens to be still alive against all odds, you should know better than to let him cross my path ever again. THANK YOU.

A/N: Now, I somehow doubt Kanda would really use my writing style, but then again, we rarely ever find him writing anything, and if he would, he probably wouldn't put lots of curses etc in there in spite of his usual demeanour. At least that's what I think.

Sou, well, anyways--- tell me what you think about it :)
(I personally enjoy the thought of moyashi-torture quite a lot, but...don't we all? :D)