Vacations

Disclaimer: I don't own Kyou Kara Maou, it's as easy as that.

Warning: You'll probably get high from all the crack in this...

Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.
-- Sean Williamson

x-X-x

"Oh come on, Gwendal. What could go wrong?" Yuuri asked innocently. "It's just a week. Plus, you need a vacation. I'm perfectly capable of running my country on my own."

What can go wrong?! Ha! With His Majesty in charge, what won't go wrong? Gwendal thought to himself as he watched his king flail helplessly in front of him. Wolfram was right. He is a wimp. A king shouldn't be afraid of his own vassals. For Shinou's sake, he's trembling!

"Well," Yuuri continued, still flustered by all the wrinkles that had appeared on the man's forehead the moment he'd walked in, "Look at it this way. I'll have Conrad, and Günter, and Wolfram, and Anissina—wait, maybe not her—but I'll still have a lot of help! How long has it been since you've had a vacation?"

Gwendal thought back. It had been awhile. Since before his mother's reign. Before Wolfram's birth. The last break he'd had was about five years after Conrad was born. He sighed, "about one-hundred twenty-five years, Your Majesty."

"Exactly," Yuuri said, "Wait, what?! One-hundred twenty-five years?!? Really Gwendal, you need a break more than I thought! You'll leave tomorrow. You're going on a cruise for a week. I heard from Lady Celi and Günter that you like them. Nothing will go wrong, so don't worry about anything."

Gwendal let out a deep sigh, "Of course, Your Majesty. What time should I be expected to be ready by?"

"Ten-thirty, so don't be late. Günter will be the one to escort you."

"Very well then, Your Majesty."

Satisfied, Yuuri nodded and left the office.

x-X-x

"Bye-bye, Gwenny!" Lady Celi called as he got on the ship. "Make sure you have lots of fun while you're gone!!"

"Hn."

"Don't worry about a thing! I'll take care of everything while you're gone!" Anissina waved.

"Don't worry about a thing! I'll take care of everything while you're gone!" Yuuri corrected. "Have fun!"

"Yes, because that is much more comforting..." Gwendal muttered form his place on the ship.

x-X-x

Seven Days Later...

x-X-x

"Man, I feel better. I wonder how everyone got along without me?" Gwendal stretched, getting off the ship. There wasn't a wrinkle to be seen anywhere on his face.

"Gwenny! You're back!" Celi said, greeting him.

"Mother!" he smiled back.

Man, that must've been some cruise Yuuri Heika sent him on! I haven't seen him smile since he was Wolfram's age.

"Where is everyone else, Mother?" he asked.

"Oh, well, you see...we've had some minor inconveniences. But you can see that when we get back. In the mean time, tell me about your trip."

x-X-x

At the Castle...

x-X-x

"Wolfram! Stop it! Get it!"

"I can't! It won't stop moving! You know, you could help me out a little, Wimp!"

"Aagh! Don't call me a wimp!"

Both Yuuri and Wolfram were currently in the process of stopping a possessed cookie-dough monster. Wolf had decided to make Yuuri some cookies as a token of his love, but he figured Anissina must've dropped something in the bowl when she ran by looking for Günter that had caused it to mutate.

The monster had just eaten the table and was heading for the screaming maids when a loud buzzing was hears. Everyone stopped for a moment, looking around. The bear-bees came back, flying through the windows, eating the monster powder.

"Yuuri, it stopped moving!"

"Good, but what are the bear-bees doing back so soon?"

"They must've known we were in trouble and came to help. We have such wonderful children, don't we, Yuuri?"

Having eaten the source of the dough monster's power, it reverted to its cookie-dough-ness and collapsed in the middle of the kitchen, covering everyone in powder.

"Heika! Heika, where are you?!!" Günter cried, finding him in the kitchen. "Bad news, Sire, but Adelbert's here with a whole human army! He's said he declared war on Shin Makoku because of that tea incident the other day. I warned you not to serve yourself tea! I told you it was a sign of hostility! Why, oh why does Your Majesty never listen to your loyal Günter?! Heika, have I fallen form your good graces?! Oh no! I could never stand it if Your Majesty hated me!"

"Calm down Günter!" Yuuri yelled. "Wait...WAR?!?"

"You wimp! Gwendal's gonna be here any min—"

"Hello??! I'm home!"

Everyone heard Gwendal's happy cheer as he entered the castle. Naturally everyone gathered around to celebrate his return from the cruise, although they were looking a little rough around the edges.

Yuuri and Wolfram were covered in powder from the cookie-dough monster, Günter was still screaming about the supposed war, Anissina had dirt marks on her face from some explosion, and Greta was covered in mud. Not to mention the maids were leaning on each other in some sort of sobbing heap in the yard, also being covered in powder, but more upset at how much cleaning work they had to do once this little episode was over.

"Mother?" Gwendal asked, looking at her. He finally noticed his mother was wearing her hair up in a pony tail like his and she was wearing a pair of blue jeans from Yuuri's world. "Wait, what've you been doing?"

"Well, the top floor where I stay flooded, so I had to clean it up."

"Where were the maids?"

"I believe they were dealing with the monster in the kitchen."

Gwendal's eyebrow twitched as ever so slowly a small wrinkle made its way back onto his brow, "How exactly did your entire floor flood? And what monster in the kitchen??"

It took nearly all of two hours to explain everything that had happened over the course of the last seven days, but when they did they never expected what was coming next...

Gwendal took in the sights around him and the bear-bees hanging from every place available and sighed. Every wrinkle fell back into place on his face. "You see? This is why I don't take vacations," Gwendal laughed.

End