Promises

If there was anything Samantha Carter knew for sure, it was that things rarely worked out as expected. Coming home after two months searching for what was supposed to have been the naquada find of the year, a walk in the park, but what instead turned out to be, several hazardous mountain climbs that led to a people who didn't know what it meant to give their word and keep it.

Long story short they'd been tricked into finding the valuable mineral and then ambushed at the site. An unexpected battle ensued, causing her to return home, alive but with broken ribs and a fractured skull. This, she concluded as she got off the plane, was not a park she liked walking in.

Not for the first time in nearly three months, she lamented to herself that she missed Daniel and Teal'c and…. and everything that made them SG-1.

Jack stood in the waiting area. He'd been to the SGC infirmary to see Sam when she'd come back bruised and broken. He had maintained contact while she stayed there to rest and recuperate. Finally released from the infirmary, she would be out of commission for at least another month. So here he was, in almost the exact place she had left him, waiting for her.

Sam walked out pulling her bag behind her. Jack was at her side almost immediately. "Hey Carter."

Sam realized a familiar sense of pleasure at seeing Jack, but soon an uneasiness replaced it. It had been almost three months of separation, and she knew that they had left things tenuous at best.

"Hi." She responded.

"Let me get that." Jack said as he took the bag from her hand and lifted it to his shoulder. "So, not quite the trip you expected huh?"

"I should know better by now. They should consider changing it from Murphy's to Carter's Law." Sam offered sarcastically as they began to walk towards the exit.

They fell silent as they left the airport and got to his truck. Jack walked a bit ahead of her, threw the bag in the back seat, then opened the door for her. She gave him a small smile as she moved to get in, wincing as she did so, her ribs suddenly reminding her that they weren't ready for any sudden moves just yet. Instantly Jack's hand was on her back, the other grabbing her arm. "Easy." He ordered, as he guided her gently into the passenger's seat. Sam held on to him, glad he was there and slid into the seat.

Once she was in, her eyes met his, "Thank you." she said. Jack nodded. Shutting the door, he moved around to the driver's side, started the engine and asked her "You ok?"

"I'm fine." And with that they headed home.

*******

It was dark by the time they got there, "Can I get you something to eat?" Jack asked her.

'No thanks. I just want to take a shower and get into bed. The meds take a toll after a while."

"Ok then. Just let me know if you need anything."

Sam nodded and held his gaze for a few seconds before she told him, "Thanks Jack."

It amazed him that after all these years hearing his name in her voice, still meant something to him.

"Anytime." was his response before she turned and made her way into their bedroom. He'd meant it. Regardless of whether they worked through this, he'd be there whenever she needed him. Anytime she needed him. Jack's faith had slipped on many occasions, for many different reasons over his lifetime, but of this he had always been sure. He'd be there.

By the time Jack came into their bedroom, Sam had already showered and was putting her medication on the dresser next to her side of the bed. He walked over to see what she had to take, picking up one bottle to examine it.

"That's for the pain." Sam offered. "This one's to prevent infections; this is a supplement to make sure the pain meds don't knock me out while my body's recuperating."

Jack's eyebrows rose at that last comment and she stopped to reassure him.

"But I'm fine. Really."

"Yes you are." If it was one thing Samantha Carter was, it was fine, "But I'll be around for a while to make sure that you stay that way."

Sam protested. "Jack you don't have to do that."

Not realizing that he wanted to do this.

"You know they wouldn't have released me from the infirmary,"

That he needed to do this,

"if I wasn't ready."

For him as much as for her.

"And I…"

He replaced the bottle on the dresser, causing her to look up at him.

"Let me do this Sam." Pausing, he looked into her eyes and asked, "Please."

It was one of her weaknesses, Jack's 'please'. Not the word itself, but the way he said it, on particular occasions. This was one of them so she sighed softly, shook her head and acquiesced. "Ok."

"Thank you. So, uh, I'm going to grab a shower myself." And he headed in the direction of the bathroom.

She was grateful that he still cared enough to want to take care of her. She just wasn't sure if all he did now was care about her. They always would care about, even love each other. There were some things nothing would change. What she didn't know was whether he was still in love with her. For that matter, whether she was also still in love with him.

She didn't mind giving a project as much time as it needed, but she'd always hated not being able to see the end result, or at least to predict it within the smallest margin of probability. Right now she didn't know what their end result would be, and that frustrated her. The uncertainty of them.

Jack came out wearing pajama bottoms and drying his hair vigorously with a towel. Sam lay in bed, but couldn't help being aware of him. His body was deceptively fit and there were times she only believed his age when she saw the legal documents that stated he was telling the truth.

He threw the towel in the corner and turned to get into bed next to her. Sam lay on her side with her back to him. It eased the pressure off the damaged ribs and so was more comfortable for her. She felt him come onto the bed and roll in her direction. She wondered about his intentions. It had been more than three months since they'd seen each other, but she wasn't sure she was ready to engage in the physical aspect of their relationship just yet, and it wasn't her ribcage that was of concern.

In their first few years together, there had been many injuries, but few of those could not be worked around. It had been a source of pride for both of them how creative they could be, both on and off the field. They had waited so long to be able to freely love and make love to each other that it seemed their intentions were syncopated. Nothing would stop them now.

Feeling him next to her now, after all this time, created a renewed arousal in her. Sam realized that, damaged ribs aside, the rest of her body definitely still worked well.

Jack moved slowly. He knew what broken ribs were like and didn't want to accidentally disturb her comfort. Gently spooning his body behind her, he placed an arm around Sam's waist. Without a word he took in a deep breath, breathing in her scent, her hair, her skin. He relished in the warmth of her body next to him and the feel of her beneath his hand. Pulling Sam ever so slightly, he drew her closer to him and spoke softly into her ear. "I'm really glad you're home Sam."

Instead of words, Sam responded by placing her hand on his, stroking him gently with her thumb, eventually falling asleep in his arms.

************

The first week, Jack had been attentive, giving Sam her space, testing the waters to see what he felt safe enough to get away with. The comfortable companionship of that week ended abruptly one night when he heard a noise from the kitchen.

"Damn it!"

Jack moved quickly from the living room to the kitchen where he found Sam standing in front of the refrigerator holding one egg in her hand. "What is it?"

"I'm preparing the batter for pancakes in the morning, but there aren't enough eggs."

Remembering that she had suffered a fractured skull recently, Jack tried to gloss over her outburst by offering what he thought was the most obvious solution.

"Well, that's no problem," Jack began, but was cut short.

"Of course it's a problem. It's not enough." Replacing the single egg in the fridge she turned back to the counter.

"I'll just run out and get some." He added as confusion further enveloped him.

"No!" Sam shouted, turning swiftly to face him.

Jack stared at Sam, baffled by her overreaction to the lack of eggs in their kitchen.

"That's what you always do Jack. Something comes up that you choose not to deal with and you run out."

"It's eggs Sam." He gave a deadpan response.

"This isn't about the damn eggs Jack. It's not enough. I don't just want two weeks attention from you, only to go back to where we were before. It's not enough."

Jack sighed as finally she made sense. He knew he'd been putting off this conversation that they had to have. He'd been pretending, and so had she, until she finally cracked over the eggs.

Quietly Jack asked his wife, because he earnestly wanted to know, "What do you want Sam?"

Something in his voice told her that he really wasn't sure anymore. Sam heard the question but she also heard his tone and it spoke 'please' to her. His 'please'.

"I want what you promised me," was all she could say,

"I want what you promised me Jack." Sam looked at him like he was her next breath.

"I want what you promised me." Then the tears came.

"I want what you promised me," and they continued.

Jack knew what she meant. She was asking for nothing more or nothing less than his promise of always.

"Jack,"

He moved towards her when she spoke his name and held her as she cried, tears in his eyes as well, feeling her pressed against him, more vulnerable than any damn mission could make her.

"I'm sorry Sam." Kissing her head he tried to tell her again, "I'm so.." but then his tears also began to fall.

Over the years, God knows when it happened, whenever issues arose, he withdrew. It was one thing when they had been a team, CO and 2IC, there was only so much they could share, and that worked. Being together in this way was a totally different ballgame and Jack never knew how to allow himself vulnerability. So to Sam, he could see how she would think that he had changed. In fact, he was never different, he was only willing to be when he was with her.

Sam had reached the point where she had become weary in trying to reach him and as a result she began to withdraw from him as well. In the end, it was as though they both stood on opposite ends of a cavern where reaching out seemed dangerous and futile. They'd both given up without actually realizing that they had.

They stood together, holding each other for what seemed like forever. When the tears had subsided, she turned to look up and him. He'd never seen her more beautiful than right now, with swollen red eyes that told him that he was still the man she wanted, still the one she loved. He pressed his forehead to hers, his eyes closed, effectively burning the look in her eyes into his memory.

Eventually she tilted her head slightly to brush her lips against his mouth. Jack's opened his eyes and looked at Sam. Then she did it again and again and again, her mouth wanting more now than just a touch of his.

Jack reached down and lifted Sam into his arms, cradling her to him, and careful not to cause her any pain, took her into their bedroom. Gently laying her on the bed, he looked her in the eyes, fully present, as he began to remove her clothes, stripping away the safety barriers she'd put up.

The pace of their lovemaking was slow and deliberate, not just because of her injuries, but because it felt like they were new to each other again. Together, rediscovering the beauty in every scar, the sensuality of every curve, the physical confirmation of their emotional truth. She loved him and he loved her.

There was sweet ecstasy in finding themselves again in each other.

With every touch.

Every taste.

Every stroke.

Each giving themselves freely and completely to the other.

And damn.

It had been so long.

************

Sam woke the next morning to the sunrise and a half empty bed. Jack wasn't usually a crack-of-dawn kind of guy, unless he was out on the field, but she didn't move to find him. Soon she heard him and he appeared in the doorway, with a tray in his hand and a smile on his face.

Walking into the room he said, "Hey you."

"Hey yourself." Sam smiled back.

Sunlight filled the room with a golden hue. The look on Sam's face, one he hadn't seen in the longest time, caused realization of what he had with her, to hit him. Jack decided right there that he would do whatever was necessary for him not to lose that.

"What?" Sam asked softly, noticing that he seemed glued to the spot where he stood.

"I love you."

Sam responded silently to his words. They'd had an amazing night, spoken without words to each other, but neither of them had actually verbalized it.

"Jack..."

"Listen to me." Jack was determined as he put the breakfast tray on the bed and sat next to her. "I know I can be a stubborn s.o.b. There are things that I've worked most of my life to keep buried. It was just…… easier." Jack exhaled sharply, seeming frustrated with his lack of eloquence. Sam didn't interrupt him.

He needed to say this and she needed to hear it.

"Sometimes I know I'm not the man you think I am. Scares the hell out of me that you might find me out one day." He looked at her almost ashamed.

"Jack," Sam traced her fingers along his face ad told him confidently. "I know who you are. You're the man I've always wanted. For better or for worse, but you can't choose to keep the worse from me. You don't think I know you have issues – for God's sake? But I can't do halfway. It's all or nothing for me."

Her words stopped suddenly as she held his eyes. He was so exposed. She hadn't said it in a long time because she couldn't. It didn't feel true, but the words came back today, rising to her lips, as she looked into his eyes,

"I love you Jack."

He knew she meant it. Sam wasn't one for empty words and it seemed like a lifetime since he'd heard them. When she said it, it felt like water in the desert, a balm to his soul. This time she was the one to make the promise. As she pulled Jack to her she told him.

"Always."

They knew their problems hadn't miraculously disappeared with the night they'd spent and the words they'd just spoken to each other. But they also knew they both loved each other and were both recommitted to making it work.

Sam and Jack held each other as the sunlight grew brighter in the room. Jack's freshly cooked pancakes lay forgotten, soaking in their sweet syrup.

For both of them it felt like a new beginning.

The beginning of always.

*******************