Capped

********

"T-trust me... m-my... my Lord."

Voldemort surveyed the Muggle object with a mixture of distaste and fascination, turning it over in his pale hands, spidery fingers running over the cool metal.

"You surprise me, Wormtail," he breathed, his crimson eyes flashing and narrowing as they darted in the direction of the cowering man. "You believe this... simple... Muggle contraption to be more effective, more powerful, more absolute than Avada Kedavra?"

"I would never d-doubt your p-p-power, dammit!" Wormtail shrieked, flinching and covering himself with his arms.

"Such lies..."

"No, no! It's j-j-j-jst, the P-Potter boy... perhaps even the most powerful magic may have..t-t... trouble... affecting him. Perhaps... perhaps a n-non-magical method m-m-might... might... might be able to ignore the p-protection he has..."

Voldemort lowered his wand for some reason, and rubbed it thoughtfully.

"I see... a wonderful point, Wormtail. This..."

"Gun."

"Yes..." Voldemort held up the gun and sniffed it with his flat nostrils. "How primitive. But if it does the job... we may well be rid of our little problem forever."

********

So Harry Potter walked into the woods, wiping Fang shit off his shoe and cursing.

"IT'S ON MY FUCKING ROBES. GOD DAMMIT."

"Language, Potter," a high, cold voice breathed from behind him.

"Buh?!" Harry spun around, his soiled robes flapping. FLAP. FLAP. FLAP. "Oh, crap."

Lord Voldemort stood before him, holding... a very large gun. Harry fell to the ground on his ass, backing away, sobbing as he hardened.

"Expelliar-"

"Too slow, bitch," Voldemort snarled as he raped the wand from Harry's hand. He pumped the gun a few times, aimed, and popped a cap in Harry's ass.

"OW. GOD DAMMIT."

"SILENCE!" Voldemort roared, then shooting Harry point-blank in the face.

Silence. Voldemort watched the sensual form of Harry's corpse for a few minutes, his lipless face cracking apart in a giant smile.

"...Yes..." Voldemort hissed, touching himself.

Harry sat up, looking confused.

"But you just shot-oh, Jesus."

"Damn!" Voldemort removed his hand from between his legs and fired again. And again. And again.

Silence.

More silence.

Hours of silence.

Voldemort had won.

And then he beat Wormtail w/a rake.