az: So I finally gave in to my muses...
Disclaimers where it's due.
Faith
by Izzu alias honou-no-izumi
o
o
"I gambled with your life. I'm sorry."
Ryunosuke cast another glance towards Takeru as he kept his silence. Despite what had been said earlier, a part of him was still unsatisfied that the matter had been left hanging like that. But Tono had given his final word on it; Ryunosuke should not be so brash as to bring out that issue again when his lord had already said to not talk about it any more. He understood that, yet it still troubled him. How can he explain his thoughts about this matter to his lord without offending him in any way?
Noticing this, Kotoha asked him if there was something that bothered him as Ryunosuke assured her that it was nothing; never noticing during the short instance that Takeru had cast a glance towards him in concern.
Ryunosuke looked up when they finally reached the Shiba Mansion as they were greeted by the Kuroko and Hikoma-san. As usual, Hikoma-san extended his greetings and congratulated everyone on a job well done as Takeru reported about what had transpired during the last battle to him.
Unable to stop himself, Ryunosuke immediately fall to his knees.
"I deeply apologize, Hikoma-san. I have been careless and fell into the enemy's control, attacking everyone and even pointed my sword towards my Lord. I have caused so much trouble to everyone. I'm deeply sorry—"
Hikoma frowned as he spoke calmly. "Ryunosuke-kun. I know how strong the Hitomidama's curse could be—"
"Ryunosuke!" Takeru immediately cried out. "Haven't I stated my thoughts on this matter? And I told you, you shouldn't said sorry so ofte—"
Takeru's hand fell short from hitting Ryunosuke's head before he pulled his hand away. Ryunosuke gave him a puzzled look as Takeru hastily entered the mansion.
"You're being silly again, Ryunosuke—" said Mako as she helped him up. "No one's blaming you for what have happened. Get a hold of yourself!"
"And if you hadn't covered for me, you wouldn't have been hit by the curse. If there's anyone who should apologize, it's me." added Chiaki as Kotoha patted his arm gently.
"We're not blaming you, Ryuu-san. We know it's not entirely your fault." said Kotoha as Ryunosuke smiled at her weakly.
"I appreciated your thoughts on this, Mako, Chiaki. Kotoha too. I really do." he said as he barely manage to hid his lingering remorse about the matter from them. Ryunosuke frowned slightly before Kotoha changed the subject and urged them to enter the mansion...
xxx
Kotoha nervously pick on her food as she cast a glance over everyone. For some reason, the aura around the room felt different today. But that was probably because...
Kotoha glanced towards Ryunosuke who had been eating very little.
"Ryuu-san... are you feeling unwell?" she asked as Mako and Chiaki also turned their glances towards him.
Ryunosuke looked up towards them immediately.
"What—" he said in alarm, suddenly noticing the concerned look everyone were giving him. Ryunosuke tried to smile.
"It's nothing! Nothing at all!" he exclaimed again, turning towards Kotoha.
"I'm fine... really, Kotoha. Just perhaps... I am a bit tired, I guess."
"Then perhaps, Ryunosuke-kun... you should take an early rest." said Hikoma as Ryunosuke nodded towards him.
Placing his tray aside silently, he took a bow again.
"I apologize to have caused all of you much worry. I'll take my leave now." said Ryunosuke again as he promptly left the room.
Everyone became quite again as Kotoha turned her glance towards Takeru, noticing that he kept looking towards the hallways from where Ryunosuke had taken his leave...
xxx
"Thank you. But I really am fine right now."
Takeru turned around towards the corridors as he caught sight of Ryunosuke with one of the Kuroko. Ryunosuke wiped his face with a wet towel as he returned it to the Kuroko.
Takeru silently approached them nearer as he barely caught hear of the Kuroko's word, asking what was truly bothering him. He wondered what Ryunosuke's answer would be, considering that he had refused to tell Kotoha when she had asked the same thing earlier. To his surprise, Ryunosuke spoke.
"It's nothing much but the recent incident still bothered me. I know everyone have said that I shouldn't blame myself but I cannot get it out of my mind. Being taken control by the enemy and manipulated by them to hurt my own ally and the people that I've sworn to protect, how could I forget it easily? How could I even forgive myself for not having the power to stop myself from hurting them? What if the same thing happened again in the future?"
The Kuroko offered some more words of comfort to Ryunosuke as the young man continued to lament.
"Some time before, I've told someone that despite how I had been raised to become a samurai that would serve under the Shiba family; I realized that what I felt now were totally different. I told him that time, that now I sincerely wanted to serve the Shiba family of my own will; not because my parents ordered me to. That I sincerely wanted to serve Tono as best as I could."
Ryunosuke heaved a long sigh as Takeru held his own.
"But now, after this incident... I wondered if I could remain true to those words."
For some reason, Takeru felt as if a thorn had pierced his heart when Ryunosuke had said those words. Ryunosuke had always been silly, but how could he doubted his own power? If he himself had acknowledged his strength, why should Ryunosuke not believe in his own abilities?
Takeru sneaked a glance towards them again as Ryunosuke started to stand up. But for second there, Ryunosuke started to sway as Takeru immediately rushed out to help without thinking.
"It's all right, I was just feeling a bit—"
Ryunosuke looked up towards Takeru as he finally realized who was the one helping him up. "—faint... T-Tono! What're you doing here! I thought you were still—"
Takeru just rolled his eyes as he glared at him.
"I've also just happened to have little appetite today. Come on... you should get some rest—"
He was about to sling Ryunosuke's arm over his shoulders as Ryunosuke started sputtering again.
"It's fine... T-Tono. I can manage myself. You don't have to—"
"Get stronger."
"Eh?"
Ryunosuke gasped as he gave Takeru a surprised look. "W-what... did you just said?"
Takeru leered at him, annoyed.
"I said... if you're that worried that you're unable to protect the people you cared... get stronger. Get even stronger than you are now. That's the only way you can overcome your weakness."
Ryunosuke's eyes suddenly became wider and his face red as he stared back at Takeru in horror.
"Did you hear everything that I've said just now?" he exclaimed in alarm as Takeru nodded. And before Ryunosuke could say any more nonsense, Takeru hastily added.
"You're not the only one who's afraid of being unable to protect the people you cared. I also... feared that I might have taken your life without meaning to. I also had feared if I could not save you from Hitomidama's curse. So don't keep blaming yourself for things that you can't control. At least everything turned out all right in the end."
Ryunosuke blinked at him in surprise before looking away.
"I'm sorry."
A hard knock on his head made Ryunosuke winced a little. Takeru leered at him again.
"Hadn't I tell you to stop saying you're sorry?" he scolded as Ryunosuke suddenly laughed.
"Why the hell are you laughing?" exclaimed Takeru in retaliation as he dragged Ryunosuke towards his room. "And you really needed to rest. Why did you never tell anyone that you're still not well? Your face had been so pale..."
"Yes, my lord. And I'm sorry..."
xxx
The next day.
Mako sighed. Chiaki stared at her curiously as Kotoha fidgeted around.
"Now what's with you?" said Chiaki snapped as Mako glared at him back.
"I'm just worried. Last night Takeru and Ryunosuke had been acting weirdly, so I wondered if they would come for training this morning—"
"Tono should be alright..." said Hikoma as the three turned towards him before the elderly man started ushering them to practice. Mako mumbled under her breath as Takeru was the least of her worries right now but before she could say anything else, Takeru appeared on the training area as he picked up his own bokken as well as another one. The three of them paused in their actions as they wondered what he was doing.
Not noticing the attention that he seemed to be getting, Takeru hollered towards the direction behind him.
"Oi, Ryunosuke! How much longer do you intend to dawdle back there?" he cried as Ryunosuke finally appeared before him hastily.
"But just now... there seemed to be a bit of trouble, I thought I should help the Kuroko a bit—"
Takeru grinned as he passed the other bokken to Ryunosuke.
"They should be able to help themselves. You should have just concentrated on your own training—"
"Haii, haii!" said Ryunosuke as he smiled back in return.
The three just stared blankly towards them as Mako wrapped her arm around herself.
"Heh. In the end, I've worried for nothing!"
'Yeah... nee-san worried in vain," chided Chiaki as well as Kotoha just smiled in relief. But before they could watch Takeru and Ryunosuke practicing together again, Hikoma started nagging them to resume their own training.
o
END