'I'm sorry Sirius,' Remus said softly his eyes filling with tears, 'I can't do this anymore.' He hoisted the bag onto his shoulder and headed to the front door. He was going to apparate to the Leaking Cauldron and from there floo to the Manor. He didn't want Sirius to know where he was going.
' Remus? What… what are you going on about?' the other wizard was clearly confused.
'What am I to you?' Remus asked from the doorway.
Sirius stared at Remus for a minute before responding. 'You're my love, my life.' He finally replied.
'Then why do you treat me like a common whore?' Remus asked finally meeting Sirius' gaze. Remus' gaze was so intense that Sirius had to look away. What Sirius looked up to reply Remus was gone.
Sirius knew Remus would come back though, he always did.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Sirius sat in the armchair by the fire holding a bottle of Vodka his tumbler long forgotten.
'What do you want Snivellus?' he said in a bizarre mix of a sneer and a slur.
Severus held up his hands, 'I am simply here to pick up some ingredients.' He replied rather calmly.
'Whatever.' Sirius waved the bottle of vodka around. Had it been a glass or even full the liquid would have been all over the wizard and the floor.
Severus moved to the lab he came back a few minutes later his bag heavier, 'You were never worthy of him.' he said before he vanished into the floo, heading to the Three Broomsticks.
'He'll come back.' He said to the empty room.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Harry stumbled out of the floo crashing against the table, cursing the floo, the table, the floor, the soot, everything. His entrance managed to pull Sirius from his alcohol induced sleep.
'Harry?' Sirius was rather groggy.
'I'm just picking up some of Remy's stuff that he left behind.' He replied brushing the accursed soot form him.
'Harry please, what did I do?' he really had no idea why Remy would think that he was treated like a whore.
'It's not for me to tell,' Harry replied he went to leave but stopped in the doorway. 'I love you Siri but I've been where Remy is and it's not fun to feel that way. Don't ask me to choose because right now it'll be him. Every time him.' with that Harry vanished upstairs.
'Why did he leave? Why didn't he talk to me?' Sirius asked as Harry came back with a bag.
'He did Siri,' Harry replied, Sirius began to shake his head but Harry held up a hand. 'He did.' He said a little more forcefully.
'Everything you need to know is in the pensieve in Remus' study. I suggest you take a look.' He replied moving to the fireplace.
'Harry please.'
'Look Siri, I love you, you know that but that doesn't mean I have to like you.' and with that the young wizard was gone.
'Remus always comes back.' He spoke to the empty room.
oOoOoOoOoOo
It was almost an hour later when Sirius finally stood and moved to Remus study. There sitting in the middle of the well used, tidy desk was a pensieve. Sirius stared at it but he didn't move.
oOoOoOoOoOo
'Remus?' Harry gently knocked on the door, 'I brought your stuff.' He said as he brought the bags into the room. Remus didn't move. 'We'll be downstairs if you need anything.' Harry said he gently kissed the older man's forehead. 'I love you.' he muttered before he left Remus to sleep.
Remus hadn't been sleeping. He had heard Harry but he hadn't wanted the younger man to see him like this. He'd been crying, he loved Sirius and the last thing he wanted to do was leave him but he had to he couldn't be treated the way he was anymore. When Harry had whispered the last three words it had taken everything the werewolf possessed to not breakdown until the younger wizard was out of the door.
What he didn't know was that Harry had been standing just outside the door and had heard his unofficial godfather breakdown, he wanted to comfort the man but he knew the older wizard didn't want him to see him like that.
Harry collapsed onto the couch next to Severus.
'Harry?' he asked softly, the emerald eyed savior was staring at nothing. Severus let him be. It was almost five minutes later that Harry spoke.
'I wish there was something I could do to make it better.' He whispered.
Severus pulled him flush against his body, 'Be here, support him, listen to him.' Harry turned in Severus arms and buried himself in the chest he found. The pair stood there for quite a while.
oOoOoOoOoOo
A few days later found Remus slowly coming from his room after having cleaned up a bit.
'Remus!' Harry was surprised to see the werewolf up and about.
'Good morning Harry.' Remus replied finding a tea cup, 'How did you sleep?'
Harry smiled, 'just fine, how about you?' he offered Remus the sugar.
Remus grinned, 'Just fine.'
'Remus…' Harry started. To be this cheerful this soon after leaving your long time lover wasn't good, at least in Harry's limited experience. When Hermione had found Ron with Lavender, she had been a wreck then 3 days later she was all sunshine and lollipops. It wasn't until two days later when Ginny had come running into the boys dorm yelling for Harry, Hermione had broken down as she'd been frantically studying for a divination exam which she didn't have. It hadn't been pretty. Tears, snot, horrid accusations and lurid comments on how to castrate Ron had been seen and heard in abundance. Then after she had stalked up to Ron the next morning and clocked him hard in the jaw. Draco had winced in sympathy he could only guess that that right hook had significantly improved in the last three years.
'Look Harry, I know you're worried, you have every right to be but I'm fine really. I've been planning this for a while now and for the most part have managed to come to terms with it but it still hurts.' Remus cut off the younger wizard. 'I'm not going back there.'
Harry nodded, 'If you need someone to talk to, I'll be around. I know what it's like.'
Remus didn't take offense to the comment because while it could be condescending coming from Harry it wasn't as the raven haired teen had actually been there.
'How are you and Severus?' Remus asked, changing the subject.
Harry grinned, 'Never better. In fact just last night…'
Harry was curled up in the Potions Masters side as the older man read a potions journal. Harry yawned, 'Why don't you go to sleep Puck?' He asked running a hand through Harry's hair.
Harry shook his head, 'Don't want to.' he yawned again and it took a few seconds for the malachite eyes to flutter open. Severus chuckled softly.
'Silly Gryffindor.' He mumbled as he marked his spot and set the journal on the table beside the bed. He turned off the light and slid farther under the sheets. He pulled Harry closer tucking the shorter man under his chin.
As Severus gently rubbed Harry's back he could feel himself stiffen, it was hard to hide as they were so close. Severus rocked his hips instinctively.
Harry shook his head and mumbled incoherently into the chest in front of him. The only thing Severus managed to decipher was, 'Too tired.' Severus kept his hips still but continued to rub his love's back.
'Sleep love,' he mumbled into the tussled hair.
'Then the next morning his cock was…' Harry continued gleefully.
Remus covered his ears, 'Not listening!' he almost shouted. Harry couldn't help but laugh. Despite Remus' protests about hearing about his cub's love life he was happy for him. There had been a time for Harry when he deny his lover and they would take it anyway. But not Severus, he despite what he was like in public, cherished the Savior, not because he was the Savior but because he is Harry. His Puck.
oOoOoOoOoOo
It had been two and half weeks since Remus had left and Sirius still hadn't looked into the Pensieve.
Harry, Severus, Minerva, and Albus had been to visit Sirius but they all left disappointed that Sirius still didn't know what he did wrong.
Sirius had no doubt that Remus just needed to get this out of his system then he'd be back.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Almost 5 weeks after Remus had arrived at the manor the wards went off in the middle of dinner. The group split up heading to search for the intruder, leaving Remus and Pansy to defend the food. The pair continued to eat in comfortable silence.
Ten minutes later an out of breath Greg came running into the room, 'Pans, east wing, serious damage.'
Pansy was already on her feet having summoned her healing kit as she ran to her destination. Remus helped Greg sit and offered him water. When Greg finally seemed to have calmed Remus asked.
'What happened?'
'We found Lucius in the garden in bad shape. He seemed almost feral. There was a bite on his neck.' He paused for a moment and stared at Remus' neck thoughtfully. 'It looked like yours and it looked old but it was bleeding like something had aggravated it.'
Remus left Greg at the table as he ran toward the east wing, to Lucius. When Remus arrived everyone save for Severus, Pansy and Seamus were waiting around in the hall. Draco was wrapped in Charlie's arms, Hermione was sitting with Neville and Harry was pacing.
No one said anything to him as he cautiously opened the door. He could smell the blood and urine and something else he didn't want to identify.
'Remy!' the Irishman had noticed the Werewolf first.
'Get out Lupin you shouldn't be in here.' Snape snapped.
'Nothing's helping is it?' he asked not taking his eyes off the silvery scar on Lucius' neck.
Pansy looked from Remus to Lucius and back again, he pulled down his collar for her benefit. She sighed, 'I didn't want it to be true.'
'Parkinson!' Snape hadn't been paying attention to Remus, focused solely on saving his oldest friend.
Seamus had caught on looking at Remus when Pansy had stepped away. He caught Severus' hand, 'Professor Snape stop.' He said gently.
Severus fought against the Irishman and finally he had to bind the older wizard. Remus had moved to Lucius and gently brushed a stray lock of silvery gold hair away from his face. Then with a mumbled spell both he and Lucius had slashes across their palms and there scars were bleeding. Remus placed a hand on Lucius neck and held Lucius hand to his own. Seamus and Pansy watched fascinated.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Greg having taken his time knowing there wouldn't be anything he could do arrived almost 5 minutes after Remus had gone inside. 'Any news?' he asked taking a seat between Neville and Hermione. His lover leaned into him, he entwined his fingers with Neville's then he pulled Hermione into a one armed hug.
oOoOoOoOoOo
A silver light engulfed the pair then after a moment it exploded outward engulfing everyone it touched.
'What in the nine hells was that?' Seamus asked blinking furiously.
'I have no idea.' Pansy replied rubbing her eyes.
'Look.' Seamus said slightly awed.
Finally having cleared her sight she looked. Lucius was awake and healed, except for the silvery scar on his neck, though it wasn't bleeding and he was holding Remus in a tight but gentle embrace as the smaller wizard sobbed into him. He was whispering softly to the man.
'Oh sweet Merlin's balls!' Seamus spun and found Severus still frozen, 'I'm so sorry Professor, finite.' He said rapidly releasing the spell. Severus glared at Seamus ready to hex him when he noticed the pair on the bed.
He sighed and without saying a word ushered the younger pair out. 'Let's give them a minute.'
oOoOoOoOoOo
Out in the hall they stared at each other confused. When the door opened to reveal the three they were bombarded with questions. Severus stayed silent as he closed the door.
'Silence!' Severus didn't quite shout. Pansy took the opportunity to head home.
Everyone stopped and stared at him.
Severus ran a tired hand over his face, he felt arms wrap around him suddenly. He held on to the smaller body gratefully.
'Lucius is a werewolf isn't he?' Harry asked gently not moving from his spot in Severus arms. Severus nodded. 'It was suppressed by Dumbledore and Voldemort and Lucius' own father.' Harry added. Again Severus just nodded. 'Since his father died it's been slowly weakening, and when I defeated Voldie the wolf came out with a vengeance didn't it?'
'He was attacked the same year as Remus,' Severus finally spoke. 'His father wouldn't have an abomination in the family but Lucius was out of 8 children the only male, and his mother couldn't have anymore. So Aloysius simply decided to cage the wolf in his son, it took about 3 years but with help of two of the most powerful wizards in the world they finally managed to. I guess after almost 30 years of being in a cage the wolf was a little antsy.'
'Does that mean…?' Draco trailed off not wanting to ask, afraid of what the answer would be.
'No, my child.' No one had noticed the door open. Lucius was standing in the doorway leaning on Remus.
'Daddy?' Draco suddenly sounded 4 years old.
'My Dragon.' And Draco flung himself from Charlie's arms though he was also gently pushed to his father, and launched himself at Lucius. Draco sobbed into his father as Severus continued to explain.
'It was also revealed that he was under several personality altering spells as well.'
'Harry you should know…' Remus began.
'That you were involved with Lucius in your fifth and sixth year.' Harry offered the three adults looked rather surprised and Remus could only nod. 'Does he make you happy?' Remus glanced at Lucius who was still holding his son tightly. He nodded a slight smile curving his lips. 'Then that's all that matters.' Harry gave Remus a dazzling smile before he hugged the man who was like a father to him. 'I love you Dad.' Harry whispered for the werewolf to hear. Remus' arms tightened around his cub.
'I love you cub. You have no idea what you mean to me.' Remus replied. He knew where he belonged.
oOoOoOoOoOo
It was hours later, after Lucius had slept bathed and they'd all been fed, and the group was sitting in the living room in pairs. Severus was on a couch with Harry at his feet, he was carding a hand through the younger man's silky locks. Charlie was on the other end of the couch with Draco between his legs against his chest, they were both reading the pregnancy book in Draco's hands, Charlie's hand was on Draco's still flat stomach. Seamus and Hermione were at the small table playing a game of cribbage. Greg and Neville were in front of the book case trying to agree on a book. Neville was trying to help Greg learn to read they had all been shocked that the teen had gotten this far through school not knowing how to read. Neville had taken it upon himself to teach the Slytherin how to read. When Draco had found out he'd felt horrible that he hadn't cottoned on that his supposed friend couldn't read. Greg hadn't been mad and they agreed to be more open about things which had resulted in a brotherly bond between the pair. Remus just sat quietly with Lucius who was watching everyone.
'It's amazing isn't it?' Remus said softly not wanting to disturb the scene. Lucius nodded, Remus didn't need to clarify anything, because the whole tableau was rather fascinating.
'How long?' He asked, it too was rather general but he wanted to know about everyone.
'Well,' Remus looked around the room, 'Neville and Greg had been paired together in Herbology in 5th year and things went from there. Neville realized that Greg couldn't read and has been helping him learn, it's been a long road because after little to no success for the first three months Neville got him to see a muggle specialist. The specialist discovered that Greg has Dyslexia which just makes everything harder but Nev's got an unending supply of patients and has been incredibly supportive. They didn't announce anything they just continued on as normal but with subtle touches and private looks.' Remus smiled, 'I believe they're the least demonstrative of their affection in public.' They glanced at the pair when they heard a surprised squeak. Greg had pulled Neville flush against him and they were snogging each other senseless. 'Or not.' Lucius chuckled.
'What about them?' he asked pointing to Hermione and Seamus.
Remus sighed, 'About two months before the final battle Seamus lost his partner, Blaise Zabini, in a raid, he'd been working for Him.' Lucius' eyes darkened he remembered that raid. 'The boy was so torn and it almost killed him. Harry and the others were incredible to him. Then about two weeks later it was discovered that Ron was working for Voldemort too and because he had failed in bringing Voldie what he wanted he had been eviscerated than hung outside the Burrow. To make matters worse Ron and Blaise had been partners, in every sense of the word. Hermione had been the one to find him, she had been devastated she shut herself off from everyone. It took Harry, Draco, Fred, George and Severus to pull her out if only a little but it was enough. Seamus had then approached her neither said anything but Seamus had pulled her into a hug and the two were united in their grief. They found comfort in each other and a deep affection.'
They were silent for a moment. 'Dare I ask?' Lucius was watching his friend with the Savior.
Remus had to laugh. 'Fifth year, Harry started Occlumency with Severus and as they worked together Severus discovered more and more about Harry that he had no idea about. His image of a miniature James began to crack until finally one day almost a year ago it completely shattered. Severus found Harry in a classroom being raped by his supposed boyfriend, Theodore Nott. Nott was sent to Azkaban and Harry wouldn't leave Severus' side for a long time. It was almost a month before he was comfortable being in a room without Severus.
'Severus helped Harry heal and in the process discovered who Harry really was. He let down his masks and walls and let Harry in. He'd been discovered as a spy so he was already confined to the castle. He and Harry fought as they both denied their feelings for the other, it was rather comical and finally after Severus had been abducted and almost beaten to death did Harry admit his feelings to himself and then it took Harry being abducted for Severus then Harry defeated Voldie. They've been rather affectionate since.
'They've taken it slow. Harry still has flashbacks to Nott and his time as a prisoner and Severus has the occasional bad night but they take good care of each other. I don't think I've seen either one happier.' Remus finished a soft smile on his lips.
They watched as Harry took Severus' hand that was running through Harry's hair and pulled it down he kissed the palm, Severus tugged gently pulling the boy to his feet then Sev pulled him to his lap. They adjusted themselves so they were sitting much like Charlie and Draco. There was a tangle of feet in the middle of the couch. Two pairs were calm, one belonging to Charlie the other to Severus; two were having a war over the middle cushion. Their scowls ruined as they began to call each other childish names. Hermione glanced up and sighed while Seamus laughed. With a flick of her wand the couch stretched so that both pairs were a safe distance from the other, out of war range. Draco and Harry pouted, Hermione stuck her tongue out, causing Seamus and Greg to laugh harder. Neville had gone to get drinks.
'Read to me.' Harry requested softly. So Severus, undisturbed by the war that had raged in the middle of the sofa began to softly read to Harry from the book he was in the middle of.
Lucius was surprised to find that Severus was reading a fictional novel.
'It's Stephen King, The Dead Zone I believe.' Remus offered.
'Oh.'
Remus gave a small laugh, 'I swear that man could make a living reading the phone book.'
Lucius laughed which caused Draco to look at his father. They shared a smile before Draco went back to the book in his lap.
After a comfortable silence Lucius spoke, 'Will you not tell me about them?' he nodded to the last pair. His son and a Weasley, Chester or Charles or something… he could never be sure with the redheads.
'I think it started in Draco's fourth year. Charlie managed to save Draco from being trampled in that mob of people at the world cup. They started talking and when Charlie went back to Romania they kept a correspondence. Then a year later when Charlie came back for the war they reconnected, Draco denied the mark and went into hiding. He was at Grimmauld place with Harry, they had a spectacular row to end all rows and then were rather close after. Just before the final battle they became blood brothers. It wasn't sixth year that anything happened. It was Christmas holidays and everyone was at Grimmauld place and well no one is really sure what happened but they have been together since.' Remus fell silent his story finished.
'What are they reading?' Lucius was curious.
'I believe it's a book about pregnancy.' Remus replied, trying not to smirk.
'Why are they reading that?' Lucius was curious.
'Two reasons.' Remus replied, 'One is that it's for Draco's Healer studies.' He paused knowing Draco should tell his father.
'And the other?'
'Draco, you may want to soothe your father's curiousity,' Remus replied.
He looked up slightly confused.
'Why are you reading about pregnancies?' Lucius asked, impatient.
'Well we're studying them in class.' He replied going back to the book.
'Remus already told me that, he said there was another reason.'
Draco glared halfheartedly at Remus who simply grinned.
Charlie stayed silent but gave his husband a gentle squeeze.
Draco sighed, there was no easy way to tell your father that you're pregnant so taking a deep breath he replied. 'I'm pregnant.' Lucius stared at Draco then at Charlie, 'Surprise.' Draco added lamely. That caused everyone to burst into laughter. Lucius unceremoniously dumped Remus to the floor and moved next to his son.
'Truly?' he asked anxiously. Draco nodded and squawked when Lucius pulled him into a fierce embrace. 'Congratulations.' He said softly, then after a minute Lucius turned to Charlie.
'I expect the two of you to bond sooner rather than later.' Charlie blushed but Draco saved him.
'Dad we already have.' He pulled at the chain around his neck, there was a silver ring set with small turquoise gems and tiny pearls. 'I would've waited for you but I…' Draco trailed off, tears in his eyes. They had all thought that Lucius had been dead.
Lucius pulled Draco close again, 'I know.'
oOoOoOoOoOo
That night the pair when Remus and Lucius were alone, Remus wrapped in Lucius' arms, the blonde finally asked something that had been on his mind for a while.
'You didn't tell me anything of you, what have you been doing.'
Remus stiffened slightly, 'Not much, teaching, surviving mostly.' He replied in an offhanded sort of way that fooled no one.
'Have you been with anyone, I didn't destroy a relationship did I?' Lucius asked concerned.
Remus shook his head. 'I'd already left him.' he mumbled into the chest he was buried in.
'Who?' Lucius wanted to know obviously Remus' last relationship was not a good one.
Remus was silent for a long time, 'When you left I was so scared and angry, and hurt and lost and lonely, and you were gone and he was there. Sirius was gentle and loving and there. I thought I loved him, that he loved me but I was wrong. He just wanted a convenient hole. He wanted someone to fuck whenever the mood struck whether I wanted it or not. I'm sorry Luc.' Remus couldn't fight his tears anymore and he sobbed against Lucius as the blonde held him tightly murmuring nothings to him.
'I'm sorry,' he whispered soothing his Remus. 'It's not your fault. I'm here now and I'm not letting you go.'
oOoOoOoOoOo
Six months. It had been six months since Remus had left him. Six months alone in the cottage. Six months of booze and nameless men and women.
Sirius was a mess. He had yet to look into the Pensieve. He was afraid he didn't know why but he was. He was standing in the door way staring at the stone bowl that hadn't moved.
'Have you looked?' a voice startled him from his thoughts.
Severus Snape stood behind him.
'Why do you care?'
'I don't.' Severus replied bluntly, 'But Harry and Remus do.'
Just as silently as he'd arrived Severus was gone and Sirius was alone. Remus hadn't come back.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Three days after the visit from Snape Sirius decided to visit the others. He tossed a handful of floo powder into the fire and called out the name that Severus had left on a parchment piece under his bottle.
No one had greeted him but he could hear voices. He followed them out through a living room into a spacious kitchen and out to stunning backyard. He was surprised to see a large in ground pool. Harry, Neville, Greg, Pansy, Seamus, and a young man Sirius didn't know were playing in the pool, laughing and splashing and throwing each other around. Charlie and Hermione were tending to the food that was grilling on the barbeque while a heavily pregnant Draco lay snoozing in the shade. Finally his eyes fell on Remus, who was setting the table with Lucius the two would brush by each other and Remus would flush and Lucius would smile then rather suddenly Lucius grabbed Remus around the waist and kissed him hungrily. Remus' arms went around Lucius' neck and Remus smiled into the kiss when both Harry and Draco started making gagging noises. Greg dunked Harry under the water good naturedly and Charlie threw a wadded up napkin at Draco.
'He is happy Black, and treated as he should be.' Sirius spun around finding Severus wearing a warn black t-shirt with a faded logo for something called a Led Zeppelin and faded jeans, he was so very un Snape like that Sirius was speechless. Severus adjusted the tray of drinks he was holding. 'I would suggest that you leave him be.' Without another word Severus slipped by Sirius and handed out drinks to everyone.
Sirius headed back to the floo.
oOoOoOoOoOo
That night with a bottle of whiskey Sirius plunged into the pensieve. He needed to find out what he'd done to drive Remus away and into the arms of another man, that man.
He watched ashamed as he took Remus without his consent, how he'd fuck the man then leave him, how when he denied him Sirius would take him without any prep, how Remus often cried himself to sleep. He felt the shame and fear, the betrayal and hurt that Remus felt, how he felt used. He had treated Remus like a common whore. No he'd treated Remus worse because whores were paid. He scribbled a note and left it and the pensieve on the table by the floo and left.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Severus and Harry flooed to the cottage the next afternoon, Severus having told Harry that Sirius had been by that afternoon. They found the note and the pensieve. Severus took the bowl and Harry the note and headed home.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Dearest Remus,
I am so sorry. I know nothing can undo what I did but a million times over I am sorry. I was blinded by everything, there is no excuse for my behaviour.
Tell Harry I never meant to become like him, though looking back I guess he was like me.
I'm leaving there is no place for me here. Don't worry suicide would be the easy way out, and I'm too much of a coward to try.
I love you Remus but I doubt you'd believe that, you and Harry were and always will be my life.
Forever yours
Sirius
I guess my initials are rather fitting.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Harry watched Remus read the letter; Severus and Lucius had left the pair alone. This was something between them and them alone. Tears glistened in the older man's eyes.
'He's gone.' Remus looked up from the parchment.
'He didn't…' Harry couldn't bring himself to ask.
Remus shook his head, 'No he's not dead, he just left, he didn't say were just that he was leaving and that suicide would be the cowards way out.'
'I'm sorry Rem.' Harry said softly allowing the older man to pull him into a hug.
'There's nothing to apologize for cub. He's gone to do whatever it is that he feels he has to do and then he'll be back and this whole mess will be nothing but a faded scar.' Remus replied.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Man Rescues Neighbour From Abusive Husband
Canada - Three days ago Sirius Black returned to his Vancouver apartment to find his neighbour, Roger Willis, pinned to the wall by his husband, Todd Allen who had attacked in a fit of rage. Allen had Willis by the throat while it appeared that Black tackled the larger man who released Willis and then focused on Black. Witnesses say that the two men fought using both physical and magical means. Black had the upper hand until both men ended up rolling down the stairs. Allen was dead before the paramedics could arrive. Black succumbed to his injuries early this morning.
Black was chair of the Remus Lupin Foundation, an organization dedicated to the help of abused men and women that have no support.