A/N: This is very different to anything I've ever attempted. Please give it a chance.
Thank you thatwritr for helping me with the finer details and setting this amazing challenge.
Thank you cdunbar for betaing, getting excited, and supporting me so well. Couldn't have done this without you.
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
Prologue
I wasn't normal, I knew that.
I wasn't your typical boy.
I couldn't get on any teams because I was too clumsy to be an asset. I didn't get included in 'guy talk' because I'd rather read a book than a playboy. And I didn't go on dates because I didn't like girls.
That thought used to terrify me, it confused me and isolated me. The realization of my sexuality hit me when I would see guys in my class in the showers. The water streaming over rippled muscles and skin bronzed by the Arizonian sun, caused my mind and body to react in ways that felt right and natural. Unexpected.
But then I grew up, I accepted it and moved on. Didn't mean others did. I no longer believed in 'normal', I no longer tried to define myself or be defined. And I tried to extend that courtesy to others. But I was only human and we all make mistakes.
I moved away, ran away, however you want to look at it. I still ended up in Forks, living with my Police Chief father. I told my mom it was so she could be with Phil. That is was because I didn't want her to worry about me, I didn't want her to sacrifice her happiness by staying with me while Phil was away playing ball. Her body may have been present, but Phil had taken her heart with him. But it wasn't just that.
Kids can be cruel. Scared kids, ignorant kids can be evil. And I had to get away. So I took refuge in Forks and I guarded my secret diligently.
No one could know, no one could find out. My father would never have to look at me in shame, and my classmates would never have to look at me in disgust. It would be too much to hope that I would find understanding, acceptance. Phoenix taught me that.
Luckily, no one in Forks had really caught my eye. There was no one I felt drawn to. Of course there were some who I could see as attractive, but none I desired. My reaction in showers was better hidden, I'd learnt to hide my want from them. That part of my self that could never be revealed was secret and safe.
Then I saw him.
Never had I been so amazed, never had I felt so lost. He was tall, graceful and fiercely beautiful. The self hatred I had tried to contain, I had tried to rationalize away bubbled up inside me. Never had I hated the fact that I was gay more. Because this creature with haunting perfection would never look at me with love, or desire. It would be too impossible for one such as him to return my affection.
So I watched in secret, sneaking glances when I could, and tried to make it through each day, knowing this man – because he was a man, not a boy like the others – could easily bring my carefully crafted life crashing down around me.
A/N: Please review even though it is just a prologue. Next chapter will be EPOV.
Thank you for reading.