Yeah!

Summary: Lavi decides to bring Sexy Back…to the Black Order choir. And other stories from the far side of the Black Order.

A/N: This was something written to amuse myself, but it is also a gift for my faithful subscribers. (By the way, I was formerly , but have now gone R2D2-y.) I wrote this story as a series of somewhat linear short spurts of text, like a series of vignettes all pointing at the same thing. It's more relaxed than the old baggage you can find in my account, the plot less driven by bizarre carnival acts.

It is a sign of Lavi's boundless optimism when he goes down grinning. He is still smiling when Kanda dropkicks him straight out of the window. In fact, the Cheshire smile remains there like a ghostly afterimage, the row of pearly whites shimmering in the air while it's owner took the plummet down seven stories of gothic architecture into presumably a bloody splatter on the rocky cliffs below. Allen has to rub his eyes a few times before the smile vanishes, "Shouldn't we rescue him?" he asks nervously.

"Have you ever tried to kill Lavi," Kanda replied with a resigned air, "He's like a cockroach, no matter how many times you kill him, he never stays dead."

"You mean, Zombie," Allen ran a finger through his white locks, "Might explain his constant death wish."

The two of them were about to leave it there when Lenalee lets out a shrill scream and begins sobbing uncontrollably.

"Lenalee!" Allen leans out the smashed window of see the Chinese girl crouched over what looks like a dead chicken. He paled, "Kanda? I think you actually killed Lavi."

"Bullshit."

"No seriously, look!" Allen dragged the Japanese man over.

"That's a dead chicken," the dark haired man replied in a monotone.

"It is Lavi!" Allen felt as if someone had put water into his packet of instant guilt and remorse, "I'm sorry, Lavi! I should have stopped him! I should have listened! I'll do anything! Anything!"

"Shut up!" Kanda grabbed the Brit by the lapels, in an attempt to stave off any lasting damages of Allen's stupidity, but it was too late.

"I'll do anything! Kanda will do anything!"

It was Lenalee's laughter that tipped them off, her mirth rippling straight from hell, although she was only seven stories down.

"Shit." Kanda scanned the room for an escape route, "I knew he was doing her."

"Sorry guys," Lenalee neatly twirled her noodles into wooden chopsticks.

Allen continued beaming his best pitiful, picked on puppy expression in her general direction but the effect was greatly dampened by the sickening sight that is a fifteen year old boy inhaling Jerry's meatball special like there is no tomorrow.

"So how good exactly is the sex?" Kanda fumed.

"Kanda!" Allen squawked.

Lenalee daintily sucked up her noodles and, clearing her place, stood, "It wasn't really the sex, but the thought of seeing Kanda singing soprano." She gracefully ducked the ceramic projectile that came winging her way.

"I think he's more of an alto, love," Lavi draped an arm over Lenalee's shoulder.

Lenalee counted five seconds.

Straight on cue, there was a large crater where the redhead had stood mere nanoseconds ago.

"Life has been quite difficult since Komui installed those automated cannons," Lavi sighed, readjusting his eye patch, "It's made the sex a two."

"Will you shut up about the goddamn sex?" Allen shrieked, simultaneously trying to stuff food into his face and cover his ears.

"Damn you're good at this!" Lavi peered at his friend, "Can you pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time?"

"Shut-up!"

A/N: And cut. By the way, this isn't Lavi/Lena. This is more of a Lavi, Kanda and Lenalee mess with Allen's relative innocence. Drop by a review if you like. Love,