I don't own Stargate Atlantis or its characters...MGM does.
This was brought on by the memory of me and two friends trying to do what Rodney is doing. We didn't have as much trouble and we were more successful, but I thought it was funny nonetheless.
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"That's not how you do it, Rodney!" exclaimed Sheppard in an excited whisper.
"Excuse me, Sheppard," shot back Rodney, "but who's the super genius around here?" He peered back down at the object before him then said in a voice that was equal to Sheppard's in volume, "And keep your voice down! You'll wake Jennifer."
In tune as any flesh and blood brothers would be, both men turned in perfect synchronicity to make sure that Jennifer was still in fact asleep in her nearby bed. Reassured, and immensely relieved, that they hadn't disturbed the exhausted doctor, they both looked down to the object over which they were having their latest adventure.
Sheppard leaned closer to Rodney and whispered for the third time in twenty minutes, "Maybe we should call Teyla."
"No," answered Rodney with a resolute shake of his head. "I can do this." He reached down and rearranged this and fixed that. A moment later Rodney nodded with satisfaction and said confidently, "There."
John was shaking his head long before Rodney had finished. "That's not going to work there, Rodney."
Rodney turned to Sheppard and asked, "Why not?"
John pointed down and explained. "Well, for one thing…"
"Never mind," interrupted Rodney when he realized what Sheppard was going to say. "I see it."
Once again Rodney tried to fix the object, but when he looked up to Sheppard the Colonel was once again shaking his head.
"Look, Rodney," tried Sheppard soothingly, "maybe it's just not your thing. Let's just call Teyla…"
"Look, Sheppard," Rodney said roughly. He poked his finger into Sheppard's chest and added, "I figure out, repair and maintain Ancient technology, invent new devices, figure out complex problems and save your ass on a daily basis." He returned his attention to the object and once again tried to fix the problem before him. When he finished he looked to Sheppard again.
After a moment of basking in his triumph, Rodney reached down and carefully picked up his two day old daughter and cradled her in his arms, just as Jennifer had shown him to do. He looked at Sheppard and added smugly, "I can put a diaper on my daughter."
Sheppard nodded, apparently impressed with Rodney's parenting prowess, or so Rodney thought.
"Very good, Rodney," said Sheppard with a smirk. "But what's that on the bed and on your shirt?"
"What?" asked Rodney. He looked to the bed and nearly cursed when he found the diaper he'd just been trying to put on his daughter laying abandoned on the bed. The second part of Sheppard's question rang in Rodney's mind and he lifted his little girl off his chest enough to see a fresh wet stain gracing his shirt.
Rodney turned to Sheppard, and to his surprise he saw honest sympathy in the Colonel's eyes.
"Now?" asked Sheppard.
Rodney hesitated, but only for a moment, and then reluctantly nodded.
Sheppard reached up and tapped his earpiece. "Sheppard to Teyla…we need you in the Infirmary ASAP…diaper emergency."
Rodney began gently swaying back forth so his daughter would remain asleep and said, "At least we didn't wake Jennifer. If she saw this…"
"Rodney?" interrupted Jennifer's tired voice from behind him.
"…crap."