Disclaimer: Don't own it. 'Nuff said. Actually, fiberkitty said we needed to state that we are NOT SM because we kick ass, so, no, we are NOT Stephenie Meyer. If we were, we would have named the kid a hell of a better name than Renesmee

Preggers and Proud: A Jasper/Alice story

AN: We told you we wouldn't make you wait.

Alice POV

My whole body ached. Wait. Why was that? Suddenly, everything came crashing back to me. "Jazz!" I shouted, sitting up.

"Shhh," He said, leaning over me. "You'll wake the baby."

"I…what?" I looked down, and, "Jazz! We're back!" I looked at my arms, my body…it was me. And Jazz…

He grinned. He was so beautiful back in his body. I pulled him to me for a searing kiss before I winced. "Ouch. What happened? Why does my body feel like it went through world war three?"

"Because you had a baby?" He asked softly.

"I…" And then it hit me. I'd remembered hitting my head, but then, nothing. "Jazzy…you had to…"

He winced. "I'd like this to go down in history as the one thing we never discuss again. I'm still exhausted."

"How did we get back?" I asked.

He shrugged. "After…" He swallowed hard. "The birth, I fell asleep. You were still unconscious. The next thing I knew, I woke up and Emmett was leaning over me. That's a scary mug to look at upon first waking."

I giggled and my eyes grew wide. "So, you really had to…?"

He shivered. "Ali, please, let's…let's not go there, okay?"

I nodded and bit my lip.

"Would you like to meet your son?" He asked me softly.

"Jazz…"

He smiled. "That was one of the best surprises you could have given me, Ali. Granted, I wish I wouldn't have been the one…" He paled and turned a little green. "But that's neither here nor there." He walked over to the small bassinet in the corner of the room and scooped up our tiny baby. "We need to name him."

I nodded. "I know."

"I was thinking we could name him after your dad…since…well…you know…"

A few tears fell from my eyes at the thoughts of my dad. We all knew he wasn't much longer for this world, and Jasper had demanded that, even though we were going to have a new baby in the house, that my dad lives out his last days with us. I couldn't have been happier about it. "You want to name him Roy?"

Jasper grinned. "Well…I was kind of thinking of naming him ' Troy ' which is similar to Roy …"

"And the name of that football guy that was on your team, right?" I asked as I fingered the baby's soft curls. He was beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

"You know about Troy Aikman?" He asked me, sounding surprised.

I shrugged. "He was the one that dated Faith Hill before she hooked up with Tim McGraw, right?"

He rolled his eyes. "Naturally, you'd remember that. Yes, that's the one."

I smiled. "Well, he was hot, so, I guess that will work." I looked at the baby once more. "What do you say? Troy Jasper Whitlock? It has a nice ring to it."

Jasper chuckled. "Okay then, Troy . You've got some big shoes to fill then, don't you?"

"My baby boy is not going to be a football player." I said adamantly. "He'll be a doctor, like Uncle Edward, won't you, Troy ?"

Jasper's eyebrow lifted. "Speaking of Uncle Edward…care to tell me about Cancun ?"

My eyes widened. "I'm sure I have no idea…"

He held up his hand. "Ali…don't even start that shit. He spilled part of the beans."

Damn. But I grinned at Jasper, putting on the puppy dog look. "I don't suppose you'd wait and let me tell you that another day, would you? I have just had your child, you know…"

"I was the one that birthed that kid, Ali, and don't think I won't remember it until the day I die…"

Just then, we heard the door open and Bella popped her head in. She had tears in her eyes. "Hey, guys. You're back to normal, I see."

"Bella…what…?" I started but she just shook her head.

"Nothing, I'm just so happy for you. Rosalie went to sleep in the other room, Emmett's downstairs with Edward; they're getting the jeep ready to take you guys in to the hospital."

I looked at Jasper. "Thank you, Jazzy, so much. I swear, no more funky herbs."

He nodded solemnly. "I don't even think I'll want to smoke any of Edward's wacky weed anymore, Alice , just for fear it's laced with something else."

Bella's head popped up all of a sudden and she smiled. "You know…"

I grinned as Jasper's mouth fell open. "Bella…I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but is switching places the right idea?"

Her grin was evil as she rubbed her hands together, all signs of weak, tired, broken down Bella gone. "Oh, I think that's the absolute best idea I've ever heard. Give him a taste of his own fucking medicine…"

My eyes grew a bit wider as I looked at Jasper. He smiled and said, "I pity the poor fucker. He must have pissed you off good. He'll never know what hit him."

"Oh…I'm not going to do it today. He's got some mandatory vacation time coming up. We were planning on spending some time at home doing some work to the house and all…I think that I might have to deal with him then."

"Bella…" I started, but Jasper held up his hand.

"No, Ali, she's right. I don't know what he's done, but he's been acting like a dipshit for weeks now. It's time she put him in his place. I can't wait to see how his week of hell goes at being a woman. Fuck, I hope it goes on longer than a week. The jackass won't be able to handle being a girl." He let out a maniacal laugh and rubbed his hands together.

"Although…" He said thoughtfully. "Edward's such a pussy…he might find himself quite comfortable as a female…"

I popped Jasper in the arm, but Bella giggled. "Oh, I don't think Edward will be able to handle it. You or Emmett never had to deal with a period. I'm thinking tampons…blood…" Jasper looked even greener.

"Jazzy? Baby? Don't you want to go enjoy being a man for a few minutes?" I asked sweetly.

He looked at me in surprise but nodded. "Don't forget, we will discuss Cancun at a later date."

I nodded, knowing I wasn't going to get out of talking about what went on between Edward and I all those years ago. "I love you, Jazzy!" I called as he left the room. He turned and smiled at me, blowing me a kiss, which I returned. I turned to Bella. "So…when does operation "Fuck with Edward's head" start?"

She grinned.

AN2: Yes, we know, it's hella short, but not to worry, we ARE going to do a three-quel. Edward and Bella have to tell their story yet. And it IS a doozy! We're going to take a little break…we are quite busy with our new story, "How to Save a Live" as well as the other stories we each have on our personal profiles and THEN all the kids and the summer and that good stuff, so, don't count us out. Put us on your author alerts so you'll know when our new story starts!

Thanks! And don't forget to leave us some love on the way out! The more reviews we get, the more we know how much you want to see Edward and Bella.