"Go away!"
She keeps screaming, but she doesn't want me to leave, not really.
"Come back!"
She always says that, she always says that 'this is the last time.'
"Please, don't leave, no stop it!"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror, these fucking walls must be talking, because Buffy's not here.

Never did I think that I couldn't handle her. I've always be the one who's tough enough to stick it out. When I'm with her, it always ends with me dragging my knees through dirt.
Buffy Anne Summers.
No matter how hard I fall, she's never there to catch me. She thinks that this world is too much, her so called problems are piling up.

I never want to quit, but shit, what if this is it?
When it rains on this side of town, it touches everyone.
Even if you don't see the sun during the rain, you can't convince yourself that it's the reason it's nowhere to be found.

"How could you do this?"
Wow, never saw it coming. Maybe I should stay just long enough to explain, because god knows Buffy needs an ending.
She tend to always find an escape and she keeps running away from all of the ones who love her.

"I love you so, much more when you're not here." Sure, I sleep until noon and I have a morbid habit of staying away from the sun.
"I can't find the words to tell you that I don't want to be alone." Tonight I am tired, tired of her bullshit, tired of everything that has to do with her.
I've lost count of how many times she has kicked me out now.
She always tells me how much she doesn't need me.
She was different before, before all of this happened. Before 'we' happened. To her it seems to be a contest, but I could never be as nasty.

Maybe if my heart stops beating, it wouldn't hurt this bad?
I'm nothing to her anymore, just a punching bag.
"Please don't leave me." Those bittersweet words have lost all meaning.
She always manages to make herself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole.
I wish she would stop making tired excuses.

"Do you think you're better than me? Do you? Say it, you think you're better than me."

I was the one who once took her hand, I showed her how, I promised to always stick around. Of course she believed every word.
No one could ever have predicted this, I would've punched out anyone who'd even hint at it.

"I am. Always have been."
Say it again and mean it.

Forever means nothing, it's a simple saying that might still the hunger. I'd give anything to just be able to call her 'friend' again.

"What are you gonna do, B, kill me? Yu become me. You're not ready for that, yet."
And I grab her and I kiss her and I run away.

What happened?
"I hate you, I love you."
I wish I could remember.
That is why I keep her in my head, the Buffy I once knew.
In my head is where she will stay, because at least in there, it's safe to play.

Take Joyce for example, she was a nice lady. Buffy telling me it's not worth it, or that she wakes up every day hoping to die, just to feel, is like a slap in her dead mother's face. Do you think she had it easy? Imagine being in her shoes, trying to raise big and Bitty Buffy.
Not easy, I'll tell you that.

"Don't say her name, you didn't know her. So don't you ever say my mother's name again."
She was right, I didn't know her. But Joyce Summers was nice to me. I haven't had much of that in my life.

Let the world come falling down upon me. "All we do is linger. Why would I ever want to be with you?" Ouch.
Eyes burning, heart aching, voice trembling, knees buckling, body breaking. I wanted her to take the time, I wanted her to take my time.
This is the last goodbye.
Without her I feel so small.
This is no excuse to start living all crazy.

So count your blessings, before they're long gone, what else is there to do?