Umm, Hi...So last weekend I was ill and binged on Netflix Twilight. I fell headlong into the Twiverse again and suddenly a very angry Jake appeared and demanded I finish his story, it has been literally years since my last update, so here we are. This is not the final chapter, though that is pretty much written. If anyone out there is still reading, then this is for you.

As the evening wore on, the tension between us grew more palpable and my body grew weary, I figured it was time to call it a night.

"You know Jacob... I think I'm getting a little tired, would it be ok if I went back to Billy's?"

Please, please say I can, I can't do this anymore.

"Sure Ness, whatever you want."

Jacob sounded as strained as I felt and he got to his feet slowly, wrapping his arm around my waist to guide me as I stood. Determinedly ignoring the flutters inside and the tugging in my chest, I stepped quickly away, trying not to stumble. Being in this close proximity to him but so far away emotionally was killing me.

"Mind if I go say bye to the guys before we leave?" he asked me and I wondered if he could sense the tumult inside me.

"It's fine, I need to speak with Emily anyway."

I forced a casual smile from trembling lips and took a step back.

"Come get me when you're done?"

"Sure."

I watched as he hurried across the clearing towards his brothers, moving at inhuman speed, almost as though he couldn't get away fast enough and I turned towards Emily and Sam. Anticipating me, she kissed Sam soundly and hurried to meet me half way. We watched as Sam sprinted after Jacob.

"Everything okay?" she looked at me with sympathy.

"Yeah but I'm starting to feel a little tired, you know, maybe I just need to get some sleep, my body isn't healing as fast as I expected" I sighed before continuing in a whisper, "So what did you think?" .

Emily's smile froze on her face," It's hard to say," she hedged, " you know your imprint best...but you're right, there is a lot tension between you... Sweetie, I just think you need to talk to him and soon. This won't be doing either of you any good. You've been through so much in such a short time that it's a lot to take in, any normal relationship would feel the strain."

"We don't exactly have a normal relationship Em,"

She rolled her eyes and grinned wickedly, "Around here you do and anyway that's my point. Human relationships go through ups and downs, so why should non human relationships be any different? Being in love with a mythical creature can make everything all that much harder, not only do you have the normal crap to deal with but you get all the supernatural stuff too."

I chuckled weakly at her logic. She had a point.

"Everything is just so messed up Em, I don't know what he's thinking or feeling, it's driving me crazy!"

"He might be a wolf but he's also a guy and that's pretty typical, who knows what goes through their heads half the time." She shrugged delicately before continuing "Having an imprint really doesn't mean that they get it right every time, in fact despite what the universe has programmed them to do, they're still part human and can screw it up just like everyone else, we just suffer more for it. It's obvious that you need to talk. What are you so scared of Nessie?"

"That he doesn't want me anymore, that I repulse him, I can't talk to him about this, I just can't."

"Sweetie if you don't talk, do you really think it's going to get any better? Time to put on those big girl pants again Ness. You're not a little girl anymore, besides what's your alternative? Stay like this for the rest of your life? And you and I both know that's going to be a hell of a long time."

Ems was right, I was miserable and though Jacob was trying his best to hide it I was pretty sure he was miserable too.

"I know you're right but what if he rejects me?"

Emily looked at me as though I were crazy.

"What if he doesn't?" she countered softly. "You know how this imprint works. Go Nessie, go find him and talk to him!"

I couldn't ignore the hint of alpha in her tone, something she'd picked up from Sam and I smiled. I hugged her warmly feeling closer to her than I ever had before. Emily understood me in a way no one else in my beautiful, perfect family could.

"Thank you." I murmured sincerely, squeezing her just a little tighter.

"Go get him, before you can talk yourself out of it!"

Scanning the fire, I nodded but Jacob was nowhere to be seen. Moving as fast as my still fatigued body would carry me I moved back towards the house. The drive was empty but I knew he must be around somewhere, probably raiding the fridge. Stepping up the porch, the house was dark but I could just make out the rumble of low voices out back. Poised just outside the kitchen, I saw the dinstinct shapes of Jacob and Sam, leaning against the railing. Jacob was hunched over the railing; his head hanging miserably, his hands raking through his hair, causing it stick up in all directions.

He was hurting, my Jacob was upset. Nausea pooled in my stomach at the thought and on silent feet I moved closer, not wanting to intrude, to disturb his privacy but wanting to be close enough if he needed me.

"How do you do it Sam? How can you stand it? I can't even look at her without feeling sick," he muttered in low anguished tones.

Bile burned in the back of my throat, hot and acidic, as his words assaulted my ears.

"She's your imprint Jacob, you will get past this, you have to."

He shook his head with a growl, "Don't you think I've tried, every time I see her, touch her, try to kiss her my insides twist apart and all I can see is the scar...I can't do this, I can't be what she needs,"

My entire body froze, turning to marble, seizing up but my heart pounded in my ears, my skin turned clammy and everything suddenly seemed as though it was coming from far away. Lightheaded, I felt as though I was spinning down a long tunnel.

I had been right the entire time! Jacob didn't love me anymore, didn't want me anymore, I made him feel sick.

"It will get better, you will find it easier but it will always be there, those feelings never quite leave you, Jacob you have to put them aside and focus on her."

Jacob groaned low, a tortured sound which hurt me even more and I could scent his tears.

"I just don't know if I can Sam, it's fucking tearing me apart inside just to look at her." He slammed his powerful fists against the wood and it splintered.

I sucked in a lungful of air as pain lanced through me, a strangled gasp left my lips. It was almost comical the way Jacob and Sam's heads snapped towards me so quickly, the colour blanching from both their faces instantly, leaving them pale beneath the russet of their skin.

"Nessie-"Jacob reached out a hand and made a move as though to step towards me.

"No!" I growled as I shook my head, raising trembling hands to my mouth "Don't come near me, I would hate to make you sick!"

"Please, Nessie just let me explain," his brown eyes pleaded with me.

"I think you've said enough, don't you!" I snarled, swiping at the angry tears which appeared on my cheeks

"How much did you hear?" Sam's terse voice broke my thoughts.

"Enough...you know I thought I was going mad, everybody told me I was being silly and imagining it, Jacob loves you, they said, you're his imprint they said. Nothing can change that! Guess they were wrong!" l laughed bitterly with a shrug.

"I do love you," he cried out, anguished now, my insides twisting, knotting in reaction to his obvious pain.

"But the sight of me makes you sick, having to touch me makes you sick...please save it Jacob, if that's your idea of love I don't want it!"

"Dammit Nessie, that's not what I said!"

I snorted through my tears "Really? Cos it sure as hell sounded like it to me...you know what? I don't even want to know... You could have talked to me Jacob!"

"You weren't ready Nessie, I was going to talk to you tonight, explain everything, try to make you understand... I know you've been hurting but so have I."

"Oh poor Jacob, having to look at repulsive old me, how that must really tear you up inside!" I snarled, venom gathering inside me as my anger grew.

"Stop saying that, "he ground out, stepping forward, "You're beautiful Nessie. You always have been and you always will be to me."

I laughed again, aware I starting to sound slightly hysterical, "I'm so beautiful that I make you sick inside...how dare you! I'm the one whose left permanently disfigured, permanently scarred and all you can say is that I make you sick! You know what's funny?" I smiled without humor," The irony is this is the most we've talked since I woke up, that this is the only time you've managed to look at me? I mean really look at me."

"Nessie please, just calm down and listen to me, let me explain."

"You don't get to call me Nessie anymore and I think you've said more than enough...I'm going back to Billy's and I don't want to see you again Jacob Black, you and your imprint bullshit lies can just stay the hell away from me!" I yelled, beyond caring who heard me.

Turning on my heel, I bolted back through the house, my shaking legs moving faster than I thought possible, taking me the distance through the rapidly cooling night, to Billy's. As I dashed through the dark house, I scrubbed at my cheeks, feeling the salty sting of tears on my skin. Uncaring I tore at my clothes, throwing them across the room with a hoarse cry, wishing it was something I could do more damage with.

Scanning the room for something, anything to break I realized I couldn't do that to Billy's house, to his memory. Furious with myself and Jacob, I stomped across to the bed and threw myself down with a muted, strangled scream. Way to let my inner toddler loose but I was so furious didn't want to function.

Tangled in our sheets, I cried as though my heart was breaking, cried for the loss of love, cried for the loss of hope. Since the day Jacob had first disappeared everything had changed and nothing had gone right. My heart couldn't believe what I had overheard but Jacobs words were echoing inside my head, leaving no further room for denial.

I made him sick; he couldn't look at me without feeling sick. Everything I feared was true, I repulsed him. The bitter sting of his rejection reverberated inside me and at that moment I hated him so much, almost as much as I loved him. Even now, knowing he was upset, feeling guilty, made my stomach and guts twist. The expression on his face when he realised I had overheard his words, flashed before my eyes time and time again. He looked haunted, tormented, desperate and part of me expected him to show up in the door way any second.

As the minutes passed and gave way to hours I lay shuddering amongst the bed clothes, sobbing out my pain, my rage, my devastation. My last conscious thought was that he hadn't even attempted to chase me, fight for me, to fight for us.

Jacob

As Nessie dashed off into the night I gave into the nausea that had plagued me since I turned around and saw her there, agony etched onto her beautiful features. Losing everything I had eaten, I couldn't ignore the violent, hot pulsing in my stomach, the twisting of my guts as I vomited again, desperate to chase her. I was shaking like a wolf who had phased for the first time, my skin burning as I twitched and shook. Long minutes passed and my stomach was mercifully empty, I turned ready to go after her.

"Wait Jacob, you're in no state to go after her, look at you, you could phase any minute! Give it some time."

"Time... I don't have time Sam, you heard her, she thinks she makes me sick, I can't leave her like this."

"If you chase after her in this state, you'll only make things worse, you need to think this through Jacob."

"I just need to explain, tell her. I can't believe she can doubt my feelings for her, I thought telling her about the imprint would have made everything clear,"

Sam sighed, clapping a hand against my shoulder.

"You have to remember that she is still very young and has led a sheltered life with the Cullen's. Jake, what was she supposed to think? She doesn't understand the way it works. You should have talked to her before now, who knows what's going on in her head?"

"I think I've got a pretty good idea," a soft lilting voice interrupted.

Emily crossed to join us, her face settling into a grimace, her nose wrinkling as she looked at the remains of my dinner.

"I take it things didn't go well Jacob."

"How did you-" I began, confused as she cut me off.

"-I convinced Nessie to come and find you to talk, really talk to you, no more hiding but looking at the state of you it... didn't go as she planned?"

I shook my head, wondering if I could explain it to Emily without offending her, I opened my mouth and then shut it again dumbly, looking towards Sam for help.

"Ness over heard Jacob talking about the guilt he feels when he looks at Nessie and sees her scar...the one she got from him."

"And the problem is?"

Hanging my head in shame, I couldn't even look at Emily, "She heard me telling Sam that the sight of it makes me feel so sick, so bad that I can't look her in the face...I think she thought that I feel sick because of the way she looks-oww!"

I cried out as Emily smacked me upside the head and then repeated the motion on the other side as I cringed away from her. Sam stepped in front her with a growl as I straightened to my full height.

"Hey!" I protested "You can't make me feel worse than I do right now, I screwed up, I know!"

"You're damn right you screwed you Jacob Black! Do you know what that poor girl has been thinking? She told me she thinks you find her repulsive because of her scar, the same scar you can't stand to look at her or touch, she thinks she's ugly to you now!"

"I love her, how can she think that of me?"

"Because like Sam said earlier, she's young Jacob, she doesn't understand the power of the imprint properly. She told me that you haven't really touched her since she woke up."

I rubbed my hands over my face as pain and sympathy washed over me "She's right I didn't but it was because every time I touch I her, I kinda get...you know...out of control and the last thing she needs while she's recovering is me getting all hot and heavy on her."

Emily sighed and patted my chest, "Jacob that's very admirable but Nessie has taken that to mean you can't stand the way she looks, she's a kid in love Jacob, teenage girls get this sort of stuff confused in their heads all the time and you haven't done anything to reassure her! And the fact you won't meet her eyes or look her in the face has led her to her own conclusion."

"I feel so fucking guilty Em, it's eating me up, seeing those marks, knowing I put them there, what if...what if one day she wakes up and hates me for doing that to her." I finished my voice tailing way to a whisper.

Finally I'd said it, the secret that had kept me awake at night. The words I hadn't even dared acknowledge even to myself. It wasn't just the guilt holding me back from her, it was my fear too. What if she rejected me, resented me for hurting her. What if she didn't love me enough, god knows I'd given her plenty of reasons to walk away lately.

Emily chuckled and I couldn't help growl in response, how could she mock my pain? This was my life, what the fuck Em.

"Careful Jacob," Sam said his body beginning to tremble with signs of his impending phase,

"Sam it's fine, "Emily chuckled once more, "Oh this is priceless. You and Nessie are so alike it's unreal. The universe really picked well when it chose you for each other... You should be telling her this and not me," she wrapped her arms around Sam's waist and laid her head on his chest, his trembling subsiding immediately " Take some time, think about what you need to say to her and then go find her. Sort this mess out once and for all, lord knows I don't think we can take much more melodrama around here!"

"Em is right you know, you've both been worrying so much about what the other person has been thinking and feeling that you've forgotten to say what you think and how you feel."

I stared at them both for long seconds, acknowledging the truth of what they had told me. This situation was caused by lack of communication and now the last thing I needed to do was make this worse by saying the wrong thing.

"What do I do?"

I felt helpless, unsure what I could do to fix this, to convince Ness that I loved her, wanted her, needed her scars and all.

"Just talk to her Jacob, honestly, openly oh and some grand romantic gesture couldn't hurt either, you're her imprint, give her what she needs," Emily said with a cheeky wink, leaning into Sam with a soft sigh.

"Thanks guys, I'm sorry we caused so much drama."

"Around here it's nothing new," she said and with a sympathetic smile as she lead Sam away.

I watched them stroll into the darkness, envious of their happiness. I knew what Sam had told me was right, for Nessie's sake, I had to be honest and explain the tangled mess of guilt and fear that kept me from giving her the support and reassurance she needed. It seemed like all I did was screw up, trying to protect her lead to more damage and more than just physical.

Edward and Bella would rip me a new one after this, I knew they weren't pleased about me bringing her here, away from their protection and I was pretty sure that Edward at least knew what I had planned. They loved Nessie as much as I did and even a blind man could see how miserable she was, they were desperate enough to trust me with her and I'd fucked things up- again.

Phasing in an instant I allowed my wolf senses to overtake and guide me to her. I followed her scent, her tears burning in my snout. I was surprised to find her at Billy's, despite what she had said, a large part of me assumed she would have gone home to her parents. I was beyond relieved that she hadn't. Edward wouldn't have even let me over the door step if she'd turned up in the state I'd last seen her. I was pretty sure, even my accelerated healing would have taken a hit, if he or Bella would have gotten their hands on me. I knew he wouldn't have let me near her, tried to send me away; it would do no good. It was like telling the sun not to shine, the moon not to rise, I could never leave her alone, could never stop loving her, needing her.

Steeping through the doorway into the house we had shared I was hit with the salty tang of her tears and the sound of her soft hiccups. Even now she cried in her sleep and my heart broke for her, for what had been done to her, for the mistakes I had made that lead us here. Phasing into human form I snagged a pair of sweats from the sofa as I passed. I stopped dead at the foot of the stairs feeling the low pulse in the pit of my stomach that was drawing me to her, wondering if she could feel the same. Muted whimpers met my ears and my hesitation was forgotten, I was beside her in an instant.

Her beautiful face was blotchy from crying, her nose red against her porcelain skin, her delicate features pulled into a frown. Reaching out a hand I touched her face, skimming the scar that had caused all this. Unconsciously her head turned towards me and the frown eased, her breathing level again.

"My poor, beautiful Ness, what have I done to you?" I allowed my hand to drift down to her shoulder enjoying the sensation of my skin against hers, the pulsing inside me stilling for now.

She stirred, her eyes opening slowly, their familiar warmth fading as she recognised me and she pulled back abruptly, sitting herself up against the headboard, clutching the sheets to herself.

For a long second she stared mutely at me before she spoke softly,

"What do you want Jacob?"

She sounded tired, her voice husky and cracked with tears but it was almost flat, devoid of any emotion.

"To explain, please Nessie, just listen to what I have to say,"

"I've heard enough from you already Jacob...it's ok I get it, you can't help it. I repulse you, I know, you don't have to spell it out for me!"

"No Ness! That's not it, you have to let me explain, please Nessie, I know you're hurting, I know I hurt you but you have listen to me, please, I'm begging you here," I whispered dropping to my knees beside the bed.

"I don't want to hear it Jacob, just go! Leave me alone, I can't do this, not right now."

I shook my head, as stubborn as she, "You have to listen to me, I need to explain."

"I don't want you to explain," she snarled, sounding so much like Edward I pulled back in shock "I just want you to leave."

"No not until you-"

"Fine," she cried jumping to her feet, the comforter twisted around her body "You stay, I'm leaving. I'm going home to Forks! I don't want to see or hear from you anymore, you're free Jacob! I'm going to find a way to break the imprint."

As if in slow motion I watched her cross the room, her chin tilted as her eyes flashed hatred at me. I gagged, wanting to throw up again, I had never seen her look that way at anyone before. This was it, she was leaving me, didn't want to know and I scrambled to my feet, marching after her as she stomped into the hall.

"Nessie please wait, you have to listen to me," I reached out a hand touch her shoulder.

She turned on me with a savage hiss, "So you keep saying Jacob, but here's a news flash for you, I don't have to do anything you say! I'm going home!"

"Like that!" I gestured wildly to the bed spread she wore, wrapped around her curves. My breath caught in the back of my throat, even furious and spitting fire she was magnificent. Her hair hung in sensual disarray down the slender length of her spine, her breasts rising and falling rapidly in her fury and I couldn't help myself my body reacted, changing the fit of my sweats in an instant. I fixed my gaze on a spot over her shoulder, trying to picture a naked Embry in my mind.

"Yes like this!" she sputtered "Unlike you, my family love me, they don't care what I look like!"

"Nessie, you know I love you, don't do this!" I reasoned thrusting a hand into my hair.

"You don't love me, you can't even look at me!" she stamped her foot , her arms folded across her heaving breasts clutching the material in her tiny fists.

I was getting so sick of this shit, it would all be so simple if only she would listen to me. Biting my tongue wasn't working and I could see she still planned to leave so I appealed to the only thing I could in the moment, her temper. She was my imprint and I was going to give her exactly what she needed, a fight, a way to release all the tension bubbling inside us.

"Believe me baby I'm looking but all I see is a spoiled little girl that wants to run away home to Mommy and Daddy. A bratty, little girl that can't face her problems!"

She reared back with a snort,shocked "Face my problems? Fuck you Jacob! Are you trying to be an ass hole or does it just come naturally to you? You dare stand there demanding I do this, telling me I have to do that! You're not my alpha-"

Thats it! That shit did not fly with me and her last words ended in a screech as I bent low and tackled her quickly but gently, throwing her over my shoulder and turning back to the bedroom.

I'd done this to her plenty of times when she was little and always in fun but had never seen her angry at me. It was as though I'd flipped a switch inside her and the spoiled princess appeared once more.

"Jacob Black! You put me down right now or I'm going to tell Daddy, you can't do this Jacob! I don't want to talk to you right now! I'm your imprint you have to do what I say! Put me down, or so help me!" she cried her legs and arms flailing, her hands beating against my back uselessly, though her nails were going to leave marks.

"Ok!" I grinned and slid my hand across the sheet, swatting her lightly on the butt.

I dumped her unceremoniously on the bed, smirking as she bounced and her hair flapped over her face. Not giving her chance to move I sprang, landing lightly on the bed above her, my legs straddling her tiny waist, my hands pinning hers in place.

Nessie

Furious with myself and with Jake I batted away his hands and struggled underneath him, trying to ignore the spiral of heat that curled between my legs at his nearness. His powerful thighs trapped my body and he caught my hands easily on one of his, holding them above my head. I glared up at him as he smirked down at me, enjoying my struggles. How could he do this to me? All I wanted was to be left alone to wallow in my misery, to cry. The more I fought him, the more amusing he found me, the angrier I got. He'd done this, he'd made me feel this way and he was laughing at me. I wasn't going anywhere soon but I was damned if was going to lay down and listen to what he said.

"Give up yet?" he asked with a wicked grin and raised brow. "Ready to listen to reason?"

"I've heard all the bullshit I want from you Jacob Black, now let me up!" I shrieked.

He shook his head clearly enjoying himself as he made a tsking sound through his teeth, "Not until you listen to me Nessie."

I struggled beneath him, knowing he wasn't going to let go, tugging forcefully at my wrists, wincing as it hurt. I went limp beneath him. All the fight left me. Tears pooled in my eyes and I blinked rapidly, sucking in a breath,

"Ow."

Jake's eyes traveled above my head to where he clasped my wrists in his large hands and then so slowly back to my face. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I sniffed as the pressure on my wrists eased before vanishing completely. He sat up over me, his hands at his hips, his eyes narrowed and watchful as he exhaled deeply. Slowly I brought my shaking hands up to my watering eyes, Jacob staring at me aghast. He looked totally devastated, his face contorted with regret as he stared mutely at me.

Holding my arms in front of me I rotated my wrists carefully, once and then twice, testing them against the heated strength of his chest. Trying to ignore the delicious feeling of his skin against mine, I pushed, testing their strength...and without further thought threw all my weight against him, sending him flying off balance. Aiming a swift kick at his stomach for good measure, I scrambled across the tangled sheets with a smirk.

"Sucker!" I cried gleefully.

But my success was short lived. My face fell as Jacob firmly but gently grabbed my foot and yanked me back towards him. I hit his chest with a thud and ended up staring at the ceiling once again as he lurched over me, pinning me in place with the weight of his entire body.

Two things happened instantly. I became aware he was very, very hard and he was finally staring straight into my eyes. Pushing against his chest, my fingers inadvertently stretched out to sooth the rapid pounding beneath them.

The noise of our mingled, angry breaths sounded harsh in the darkness of the room and for long seconds we stared at each other, supplying each other's air, almost nose to nose.

"Fuck...Don't ever do that to me again Nessie, I thought I'd really hurt you," he murmured sounding exhausted, drained.

Time for the big girl panties, Ness and I tensed before blurting,

"You have hurt me Jacob."

He cringed visibly and he dropped his eyes from mine and squeezed them shut.

"See this is exactly what I'm talking about, you won't' or... can't look at me Jacob,"

Those beautiful brown eyes popped open, pinning me in place, as he blinked almost comically, "Do you know why?"

I bit my lip and nodded, deciding to rip the band aid off the emotional wounds that festered between us.

"Because my scars make you sick?"

Even whispering the words hurt and I flinched.

He sighed, "Not for the reason you imagine Ness. Will you please just hear what I have to say before you judge me? Give me a chance to explain, to tell you everything... And if you still want to go home after this, I won't stop you."

Unable to speak past the emotions clogging my throat I simply nodded, holding my breath, preparing myself for what was to come.

"When I told Sam that your scar made me sick I wasn't lying but it wasn't because I found you repulsive or ugly or anything other than perfect... You were beautiful to me, you are still beautiful to me but seeing that mark on your face everyday reminds me of what I've done to you...Those blood suckers tried to use me to destroy you and they nearly succeeded, every time I see that scar it fucking terrifies me to think what I could have lost and I'm filled with pain and guilt that I did that to you."

My heart began to thud painfully inside my chest, was it true? Did he still think I was beautiful? I stared up at him mutely, searching his face for signs of untruth as he continued.

"Think about it at least one of those marks was caused by my hand and its killing me knowing I did that. What if one day you woke up and resented me because I had hurt you? What if one day you woke up and didn't love me or need me anymore because of everything I brought to your door? I am so...so scared Nessie, scared of losing you. "

Jacob sucked in a breath and shook his head, eyes closing for fraction of a second before he spoke again.

"When I didn't look at you it was because I was afraid to see the blame on your face and when I didn't touch you it was because I couldn't trust myself not to want you...I'm so fucking sorry that I hurt you, sorrier than you will ever know but I promise you nothing has changed for me. I still love you and know that you are the most perfect creature ever created because you were made for me and I was made for you."

My head was whirling and for long seconds I just stared at him, trying to comprehend what he was telling me.

"Why would you think I'd blame you Jacob? I've never done anything but love you and you've hurt me so much," I breathed, trembling more than just a little.

"I'm sorry for what I said to Sam but you misunderstood me. I Love you ... I always will, nothing will ever change that."

"You were hurting me long before you spoke to Sam, why didn't you just talk to me Jacob?"

Anger, biting and bitter raised it's head inside me as I sniped at him.

"Because everyone could see you were struggling with your scars. You had enough to deal with, I just didn't want to burden you with my feelings on top of that." Jacob dropped his head and for a brief second it touched mine, I wasn't able to suppress the shudder which struck me, "I thought that eventually I would get past it and we could carry on as normal."

I shook my head as I bit out, "No Jacob, things will never be normal again. I will never be normal again, never be beautiful again."

"Christ Nessie, you are still so beautiful to me, you make my pulse race and my heart ache... Just looking at you makes me hard," he admitted in a heated whisper.

My heart kicked in response. His hips flexed against me and my skin flushed as I felt the evidence of his need, hot and heavy.

"Feel what you do to me Ness... believe me," he pleaded, his deep voice sending shimmers of heat through me.

My heart skittered. His heat and the nearness of his big body was affecting me, making my insides melt, desire and need springing to life. I felt myself frown as I realised I didn't want to be sidetracked by sex or my feelings; we needed to discuss this, lance the boil once and for all. I had to tell him how I felt.

Jacob

"But I don't feel beautiful Jacob... I'm not ...I'm not the same as I was," she confessed then chewed her bottom lip between her teeth, looking up at me uncertainly, her eyes so wide and so innocent.

I felt like a prize bastard and no better than a fucking animal for hurting her but wanting her at the same time. I had to get this right, if I screwed up now there would be no going forward for either of us. I opened my mouth and prayed that what came out would help her understand even a fraction of what I felt.

"To me you are... you're even more beautiful because you can forgive a fuck up like me for putting my hands on you."

Her tiny hands moved slowly to my shoulders in more of a caress and I tensed, not because her hands were finally on me but because I wondered if I was gonna get sucker punched again. My heart rate accelerated as instead of pushing me away she curled her hands around my biceps, pulling me closer. Tilting her head slightly, I know she heard it when she looked at me with a small shy smile, hope flaring to life in her eyes, even as her cheeks flushed pink.

"Then make me feel beautiful Jacob, please?"

I couldn't miss the invitation in the softening of her body, the hitch in her breathing, the pleading in her eyes. Keeping my own wide open I placed an open mouthed kiss against the puckered corner of her lips, following the line of angry raised skin, dropping soft, hot, wet kisses as I went.

"You" I punctuated each kiss with a word, "Are. Beautiful. So. Fucking. Beautiful."

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears as I kissed my way back to her mouth and captured her bottom lip between mine, tugging it gently, wanting to get lost in her taste. Our tongues met and I slanted my mouth over hers, taking charge, wanting to get deeper inside her. My hands shook where they held her to me, her hands now tangled in my hair, trying to tug me closer. I smiled briefly against her mouth through my savage need.

In that split second electricity sparked between us and what had been a tender touch, a reaffirmation of my love changed, melded into something hotter, needier and much more frustrating. I marveled at the breathy, whimpering sounds that escaped from her, the noise igniting heat between us and sending all my blood in a throbbing rush, south.

Nessie

I moaned as he pressed hot kisses along my jaw line and he dropped his head to my neck, his tongue darting out to trace the twisted flesh of my scar. Electricity sparked through me, my fingers tangling in the silken softness of his hair and I held him to me as he murmured soft words against my mangled skin. With his lips and tongue he worshiped me, making his way slowly along the line of my body, all the time murmuring how much he loved me, how much he needed me and how beautiful I was to him.

Everywhere he touched me, my skin tingled, heating unfurling slowly inside me, a twisted knot of need tangling inside me, until I was sucking in lungfuls of air, writhing on the bed. My hands wandered across the powerful width of his shoulders, loving the way the muscles bunched and moved as I touched him.

"Nessie,"he muttered roughly against my skin as I repeated the action, fascinated when a groan left him on a jagged puff of air against me.

Jacob

Through the sheet I could feel the gentle points of her nipples teasing me as they peaked and rubbed against my chest. I couldn't stop my hands from sliding under the material and seeking a little bit more skin. Beneath my fingers the sensitive buds tightened even more as I plucked at them gently, cupping her, loving the way she gasped and writhed mindless for a second. I loved the bite of her nails as she frantically gripped my shoulders and pressed closer.

Nessie moaned and my stomach twisted as her legs tangled with mine, trying to get closer to me. I was hardened to the point of pain yet still she twisted, pressing her heat and softness against my aching need.

"Please, Jacob, please" she mewled turning her head blindly, her mouth seeking and capturing mine. I kissed her deeply, tasting her passion, her need, her innocence and reminded myself to slow down but the sounds she made fed my need, my hunger, my craving for her. Images fluttered behind my eyes of us tangled together, mouths and bodies fused, our fingers entwined above our rocking bodies. I swear I nearly fucking came right there, seeing myself buried deep inside her, our hips undulating together, as I thrust into her, deeper and deeper with each movement.

"Nessie," I groaned against her mouth "are you trying to kill me?"

She smiled nervously in response, all wide eyed and whispered, "No Jacob, I'm trying to seduce you"

I stared down at her dumbstruck for a second and then the world tilted weirdly as I found myself flat on my back staring up at the most beautiful girl in the world. I gaped as she sat up, her knees, either side of my hips. Her eyes were soft and heavy, her lips swollen from our kisses and her hair was a delicious tangle. In one smooth moved she shifted a little, biting her lip and dropped the sheet. Folding my arms behind my head, I simply stared, desperate to touch the miracle before me.

My stomach flip flopped and my breath lodged in my throat. This wasn't the first time I had seen her like this but each time felt like the first. She was naked, except for her panties, her pale skin dewy in the moonlight, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Fighting for control I looked at her, really looked at her for the first time in a long time, scars and all. She was still the most perfect creature on the planet and I was beyond humbled that she was made for me.

I could feel her watching me as I studied her, her eyes wide and shining, her bottom lips caught between her teeth in a gesture I recognised as nervousness. Each unsteady breath she took made her breasts quiver and tremble gently. I was frozen, entranced and enthralled by her ethereal beauty.

Unable to move or speak past the emotions lodged in my throat I stared dumbly at her.

"Am I really so bad?" she asked in a timid voice, uncertainty written in all lines of her body.

God, I was a lucky bastard and I suddenly wanted to kick my own ass for putting that look on her face.

"No, I am" I muttered and reached for her, cupping my hand around her neck dragging her down to me, knowing there was no going back, knowing I was finally going to make her mine.