Written for comment_fic on livejournal

Shawn carefully blindfolded Lassiter with a silk scarf.

"How's that?"

"Okay. I guess. But no funny business, Shawn."

"Funny business? Like if instead of getting busy, I make you listen to my standup routine?"

"That better not happen, Spencer."

"I was thinking of doing a whole routine about TV dogs. Or just dog celebrities in general. Wait, let me get my notebook, and you'll help me write it."

Lassiter pulled hard against the handcuffs keeping him on the bed. "Spencer!"

"Be right back. I'm going to go get my Creativity Kit."

"Don't you dare."

"Don't worry, Lassie, there's enough Brainstorm Blitz cards for both of us."

Shawn went to get his kit from the other room, smiling smugly. The only thing better than sex with Lassiter was sex with teased-until-enraged Lassiter. But when he came back, Lassiter had freed himself from the handcuffs and was angrily getting dressed.

"How did you get free?"

"I always carry three extra sets of handcuff keys, Spencer. It's just common sense."

"Carry where? You were practically naked."

"I carry one in my sock."

"How the hell did you reach your sock?"

"I used my teeth to pull my sock down, obtain the key, and unlock the cuffs." Lassiter finished straightening his tie.

"You're extremely flexible. That is both very arousing and very surprising."

"Yeah, well, too bad you won't get to see it." Lassiter grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.

"Come on, Lassie, I wasn't going to keep you waiting that long."

Lassiter just responded by slamming the door.

Wow, thought Shawn to himself, this must be what it's like to regret being a smartass. It feels totally weird.