Here we go, a twofer! I don't own Artemis Fowl, and if you haven't yet realized that I pity you.

IF YOU GIVE A GENIUS A FACEBOOK

A new craze had taken over Haven, a craze that Artemis was having trouble understanding. It had all started when Juliet had introduced Holly to a social networking site, Facebook. Then, suddenly, it had exploded in the Lower Elements.

This would have been fine, had suddenly he not been pestered day and night to get an account on the aforementioned website. Holly, Foaly, and even Trouble Kelp had begged him. Now, this would have been fine, albeit annoying. Vinyaya, Chix, and Minerva (Who had over three-hundred friends after subsequently getting hooked on it by N1.) had all sent him emails, but finely, came the last straw.

Check out my photos on Facebook

Hi ,

I set up a Facebook profile where I can post my pictures, videos and events and I want to add you as a friend so you can see it. First, you need to join Facebook! Once you join, you can also create your own profile.

Thanks,

Opal Koboi

Well, that was just what threw Artemis over the edge.

An hour later, Holly Short logged into Facebook. She soon flew into a wild rage, documented here as, "FB WITHDRAWLZ".

So Mulch Diggums found her there. He had come to tell her of the mockery that had been made of their favourite online hot spot, and ran into her, near comatose from rage under her desk.

Qwan had to be brought in to calm her down. He was perhaps the only person in the entire city who had not been overtaken by the phenomenon, and was therefore puzzled when he saw the screen that had reduced the legendary Holly Short to a quivering pool of rage:

Facebook is down at the moment, due to extreme society.

Sorry for any inconvenience, but, hey, life's a bitch!

And so, even as Holly lay with her fists clenched and her teeth bared, Qwan had to chuckle. That Artemis sure was a card.

Voila! I am not the only one annoyed by Facebook requests; Arty hates 'em too! Anyone else in the audience despise those emails? Well, I'm not here to rant about Facebook, so I'll leave you with this chapter and run.