To: Light Yagami

Cc: Misa Amane

From: Shinigami Bureau of Earthly Affairs

Subject: A reminder

Dear Loyal Death Note User:

Once again, we thank you for using our Death Note service. We pride ourselves on premier service for all of our users. However, it has come to our attention that Death Notes around the world are being used in violation of the Rules of Use printed on the inside cover of our product. This is a serious drain on our resources as several trips to Earth are being made needlessly, costing the afterlife taxpayer's money. To improve understanding between human and shinigami, allow us to provide some reminders on the Rules of Use for our product:

1) "The human whose name is written in this note shall die."

-Allow us to stress that when we specify humans, we mean humans. Shinigami are trained from birth to specialise in the killing of one species only. Too many times have we been to Wales to find that one [name withheld] is actually a sheep. Upon further investigation, we found out that the writer of the name had proposed to said sheep, and was rejected. Please do not use Death Notes to kill non-humans, as if this is repeated, your service will be revoked.

2) "This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing his/her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected."

-Please be reminded that in order for your assassination to take place smoothly, we need both a name AND a face. Too many times have our operatives been confused as they cannot find anyone with the name "that guy off Corrie". It is our policy to only kill when both a name and a face are given to our operative, due to a rather tragic accident in 1914.

3) "If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack."

-Due to an oversight when selectively breeding our operatives, our operatives hate monotony in the same way you humans hate the Jonas Brothers. We encourage our users to be more creative in devising ways for our operatives to kill their target. For inspiration, try reading the works of Waita Uziga or the music of Cannibal Corpse.

4) "After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds."

-Let us put this straight. We are sick and tired of Stephanie Meyer wannabes (ironically, some write better than Stephanie Meyer herself) writing short prose as details of the death. It makes us sicker than reading slash fiction involving Death Note users. We are therefore reducing time allowed for details to one minute, taking effect 6th August, 2009. We believe this is ample time for users to write a short bulleted list.

We hope you obtain a clearer understanding of our rules from reading this document.

Signed,

Emmaniel, Chief of Earthly Affairs