Isn't the world supposed to end?

Teyashi: A Saturday afternoon, computers, and a mild case of psychosis makes for some fun ideas, much like this one. I don't own Teen Titans, Red Dwarf, or Monty Python's Flying Circus. I only wish I did.

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Spring was in the air, and this had Robin worried. As he sat in the kitchen eating breakfast, the only thing he could think of was that it was the first day of spring. He had been dreading this for many months now, but he and Cyborg had prepared for it. It was early December when Cyborg had first told him of the possibility of Beast Boy going into heat. They weren't sure if he would, but they had to take precautions, at least for Raven and Starfire's sakes. Cyborg walked in from the garage and nodded to Robin. It was all prepared, just in case. Tranquilizers, secure room, and an albatross…ok, the albatross they happened to get at a movie one time being sold in the aisle during an intermission, oddly enough. None the less, they were prepared.

It was then that Beast boy walked in, a very unusual thing as it was still early, and the idea of the green elf up before 11:00 was funky indeed. "Friend Beast Boy, It is quite unusual for you too be awake at this hour, but a joyous thing indeed," Starfire trilled.

"Thanks, Star," Beast Boy said groggily, "I had a hell of a time trying to sleep last night. I had drank a couple cans of Monster around three pm., and spilled a little on my arm which attempted to eat through me, and was up until two am." He then sat down at the table and began to put margarine on some toast, passed to him by a still somewhat nervous Cyborg.

"Thanks Cy."

"No problem dude. Just wanted to make sure everything was fine."

"Hold on for minute Cy," BB said before getting up, looking around, opening a window in the kitchen, and sitting down again, "Don't worry man. When it comes to me, I'm always fine," he said, punctuated by flexing his arms. Then he put his hands over his head and braced for impact. But the pain never came, and instead he heard the sound of giggling. He whipped around to see that his suspicion was true. It was Raven. Raven had just laughed, albeit only a little, at a Beast Boy joke. Everyone's jaw, apart from Raven's, immediately hit the floor. Then, as if the previous wasn't strange enough, she looked at them like they were all crazy. Beast Boy went to the same kitchen window, looked out a bit, shut it, and walked back to the others.

"Ok, seeing as the world isn't ending, we have only two remaining options. Either she's a Raven imposter, or they're now putting Mary-Jane in (finger quotes) herbal tea." This statement was followed by further giggling from Raven, which while he like the idea of her laughing for once, still found a little disturbing. Then as if this morning wasn't already strange, Starfire then glided up to him and took a big whiff of his chest. Beast Boy stumbled back a bit after this sudden invasion of personal space with a puzzled look on his face.

"Sorry friend Beast Boy," Starfire said, a little embarrassed, "You just smell very good this morning."

"I'm going back to bed. This 'morning' thing isn't all it's cracked up to be. I should be back around noon, a time I'm more familiar with, to investigate this latest batch of crazy." Beast Boy then walked out of the kitchen towards his room. Robin then pulled Cyborg in close.

"Raven is acting really strange, as is Starfire. I think I'm going to have to use Titans Directive 1742!" Robin whispered.

"1742!" Cyborg said shocked, "You mean 'Any titan found sniffing the seat of the exercise bicycle is to be dismissed without a trial'? An important rule, but kinda irrelevant right now."

"1743 then."

"Oh, 'Titans exhibiting strange behavior can be given mandatory 24-hour monitoring. Good plan but for two slight drawbacks."

"What?"

"One: If you try to surveillance Raven, she'll kill you. Two: If you try to surveillance Raven, she'll kill you. I know technically it's only one flaw, but it's such a big one, that it's worth mentioning twice."

"Good point well made. I have a feeling this will only get worse from here."

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Teyashi: Short first chapter, but it gets better. And now on BBC 3, Ethel the Frog.